China Romance

General Discussion and Useful Links => Newbies Corner => Topic started by: ChinaTraveler on May 16, 2011, 08:47:10 pm

Title: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: ChinaTraveler on May 16, 2011, 08:47:10 pm
Hello everyone....I am starting to look in China for a companion and wife ..I have spent the last several weeks in off time reading the pros and cons about chnluv...I have signed up to Chinese Love Links and Chn Luv...I have read all of the negative reports about Chn luv ..I am asking this question from those who have used Chnluv and went to china to actually see the girl(s) that you have been writing to.  Can you please give a brief thoughts of how you made out? Were the results positive or negative....one other question would it be a good idea to just write a few and then show up at the agency that represented the women that you had contact with and ask them to set up a few dates....with the women that you have been writing to ...instead of months after months of letter through the EMF service.

Thank you

Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Axiom on May 16, 2011, 09:02:19 pm
Personally, I gave up on ChnLve.. My personal experience is they are a scam.

I heard good things about ChinaLoveLinks... I personally met my sweety while trying to learn Chinese on LiveMocha.com
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: shaun on May 16, 2011, 09:52:38 pm
Like Axiom, I gave up too after being scammed by a couple of agencies and ladies.  One of the agencies is one of the best rated for no scams.  how about that for you.  I went somewhere else and found the love of my life.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Pineau on May 16, 2011, 10:00:44 pm
This question comes up time and time again and the same people offer up the same advice and experience for the new guys. Would it be possible to gather all those separate threads , questions and advice into a single thread and give it an obvious name. This would give the new guys a head start when they first arrive here and provide them with a lot of reading and advice in a single place. 

Now my 2 cents about chnlove.  Avoid them at all cost.  They are a band of thieves and have no interest in you or you happiness other than to separate you from your money. Yes they have a ton of gorgeous girls to browse through.  You can spend hours looking at lovely ladies to the point of double vision 
But the photos are fake. They have been photoshopped to the point they look like an entirely different person. There are plenty examples here.

You may have a wonderful relationship with a woman only to find out that you are carring on a love affair with a translator who is making up bullshit to keep you interested. There are plenty examples here.

Sometimes the woman is not even aware that you exist. You are sent a interest letter that is a complete fabrication just to test if you are interested. If you repsond then you just put another few bucks into their pocket. If you take the bait they are going to make a lot of money from you.  All the while the lady whose profile they are using has no idea that she and you are in a relationship. There are plenty examples here.

So... fake ladies, fake photos, fake letters, fake stories...need I go on?

 You dont stand a chance against organizations that are designed to take away your last penny. You will do best dealing directly with the lady you are interested in. Your on the right track with
http://www.chineselovelinks.com/ (http://www.chineselovelinks.com/)
http://www.chinalovematch.net/ (http://www.chinalovematch.net/)

Your not entirely safe there either but at least you have a fighting chance. If you are scammed then you get had by a single lady or maybe her and her boyfriend but not an organized crime syndicate..



Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: maxx on May 16, 2011, 10:26:57 pm
I didn't have any problems with Chnlove.Martin,Ed,Sarge,Okie Rob,Shaun Nafferty,Brian Mc c,Arnold Nik,Paul Todd.Didn't have a problem with Chnlove.Nik Evin advertises for them on his blog.I could set here all night.And keep adding to the list.I could also write a list.Of people who have ben taken to the cleaners.By one of the agencies.

If you want to go the Chnlove route.Establish contact.Get the every day photo of the girl.Get off the Emf's as soon as you and the lady are comfortable.Have a web chat with the lady.Remove the doubt.That you are being swindled before it eats you up.Then you have a bad attitude.And it is all bad before you have Evan got a good start.

If I had to do this again.Knowing what I know now.I would just go to China and stand on a street corner.The lady of your dreams will be along in a minute.If she can't make it.Her friend will be by.And she is just as beautiful and clever.As the woman of your dreams.If this doesn't work for you.You are doing something wrong.

If this bold plan isn't to your liking.Post some information here on this thread.Post a couple of pictures.We have half a dozen Chinese woman.On this forum.And one of them mite be interested in talking to you.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Hajo on May 16, 2011, 11:27:18 pm
Hi Chinatraveler,

I had no problems with Chnlove, neither. I think it depends on the local agency behind. The Chnlove thing took about 2 month for us. Thereafter, chatting on QQ (with uncle Google for the translation). Now we have been married and living together for about 20 month.

But I have also heard a lot about those scams. If I had to do it again, I'd probably do it the way Maxx says. Go there and find a lady in the crowd.

Good luck!
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Rhonald on May 16, 2011, 11:31:17 pm
If I had to do this again.Knowing what I know now.I would just go to China and stand on a street corner.The lady of your dreams will be along in a minute.If she can't make it.Her friend will be by.And she is just as beautiful and clever.As the woman of your dreams.If this doesn't work for you.You are doing something wrong.

Maxx you are right on the mark as this is how I would do it again as well, but only if I could live in China for a while. Since I have a decent job here and my teenage boy lives with me, I would give up much to go to China to purse this plan. I think a better plan is that since I have made friends with a few recent immigrates from China, I would ask them to introduce me to some of their friends. Meeting a recent immigrate to my own country avoids two major pitfalls: the girl being too westernised and the dreadfull Visa wait.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Pineau on May 16, 2011, 11:39:48 pm
Well you may have  guessed that I am one of those guys that got taken to the cleaners. (more than once) and I never had any successful dealings with Chnlove. 

And I stand by my statement that chnlove has no interest in your personal happiness. You are part of their revenue stream and it is to their interest to keep you on the line for as long as possible.

Of course if the public mission statement is to forward cross cultural marriage then they had better hit a few home runs to make their business legitimate. But in my opinion they are a storefront for unscrupulous agencies and provide an umbrella under which the agencies operate. At the same time the agencies provide chnlove a scapegoat of plausible denial that they can blame the scams and swindles upon. It’s a perfect partnership. When things go bad and someone gets caught then Chnlove can blame the agency or a rougue translator.

I am happy that some of the guys got lucky with Chnlove but I think that they are a small percentage of the users of  chnlove. I believe there are far more men that walked away unhappy and frustrated with the experience or had to try several times to achieve success.

I don’t like to argue this again and again and I am sorry to use this guys thread for a rebuttal but I think it is important to state the obvious. Chnlove and their affiliated agencies have a history of dishonest behavior and numerous complaints among the membership here. The guy asked for pros and cons about Chnlove so I gave him a few cons. Rather than come to their defense I choose to warn him to be cautious.   

I also agree with Maxx.  The perfect situation would be to come to China and just start meeting ladies. You will certainly come up with a good catch shortly. But you may have a hard time making up your mind which one. haha.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: ChinaTraveler on May 17, 2011, 01:14:34 am
Thank you guys for all of the help ...That is just it ...one of the ladies I was interested in suggested in her ChnLuv profile that she wanted to do a web cam as soon as possible...a "scam" ? what do you more experienced guys think ? What about just going to the cities that I am interested in and going to a few introduction agency there and just walk in ...make a few appointments ?  One of the things I did was to hide my profile so that I would do the selection of the ladies...I am 37 ...ok looking ..successful....easy to get dates here in LA ...but just missing the truthfulness in my dating pool..I have a Masters ....looking for an educated woman ...23-33...would like to have at least one child...perhaps a teacher,nurse,doctor....! And what do the chinese ladies think of a pre-nup....any experience ...? Don't mind sharing 50-50 from the day we are married on ..but I have been working hard to get my life where it is ... !
Oh ..my China story ..was going to Sai gon for a work project ....transfer airport was GZ ...but of course I was not allowed out of airport ...so I have been to China....but not really ..! as always any and all suggestions would be helpful ....!I am a patient man .
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: john1964 on May 17, 2011, 03:03:26 am
I too have not had any trouble with chnlove, I had contact with one lady for five months, Met her in  Beijing and we hit it off really well from the from the first day, She sent the translator home after only three or four days and we enjoyed twelve days together, We kept in daily contact for the next three months through emf,s and also through the translators personal e,mail address , Who by the way is a lovely person, I married my wonderful lady and now only FOUR DAYS until we are together again,,,I have read a lot of BAD news from chnlove but i am happy to be one of the lucky ones.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: RobertBfrom aust on May 17, 2011, 03:09:16 am
Hi and welcome CT , the fact that the lady wants to webcam asap is a big plus , you will read a lot of now funny stories both here and on the chnlove forums , but one thing to remember that in China even doctors etc, work 60 hours plus a week usually 6 days and are to tired to gallop around on the 7 th  so whoever you do go to see requires planning especially in the age group you are thinking about as most will not have finished schooling till at least 25 so will be pretty new to their place of employment.  Then like Maxx said if you went in China's Autumn or Spring you will have a sore neck from looking at all the beautiful ladies whilst enjoying a takeaway coffee in one of their shopping streets , especially in somewhere like ChongQing where the population is double that of LA .
 One thing is even if things do not work out to have a lady meet you at the airport is a good start , but you can learn more as you progress along , I also had no problems with Chn site , but I actually met my love on Asia Friendfinder , regards Sujuan and Robert .
 
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: David E on May 17, 2011, 03:12:01 am
I had several bad experiences with CHNLove......got burned as an "EMF" generator and was very disappointed overall.

Then I joined THIS Forum and found out what I had been doing wrong !!!

Long story short...I found my wife on another site. But if I had to do it all again I would give CHNLove a go, but I would be aware of the traps.

You will read it here time and time again...get off EMF's and onto real photos, personal communication and face-to-face web-cam as soon as possible. That way you will be in control and not get "Translator fluffed"

Like everything in life, knowlege is power...and here on this Forum is all the knowlege you will ever need to avoid getting burned.

David
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: daghoi on May 17, 2011, 03:25:07 am

Not happy with Chnlove, exchanged very "belivable" emf for a few months, even everyday pictures. Then i went there and met a total stranger. I would say stay away, if i was offered a web cam sessoion I would do that and take it from there.

Later I did meet a wonderful and amazing woman through a more conventail paying sites (match.com).

Today i would suggest people to go to China as soon as possible and try to meet someone through mutual activites/interest/hobbies. I know the first trip might be difficult to embark on, but it will be worth it. At least it was for me.

Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Philip on May 17, 2011, 06:14:04 am
Chnlove is the unreliable, rip-off of a vehicle that got me to China in the first place. When I started, I knew little about the mechanics of this particular vehicle, so it wasn't a surprise in hindsight that I got royally scammed. But by that time, it was too late, I was in love with China, and I knew that I would find my wife in that country. Like David said, information is power. So, before ditching the vehicle, and instead of vowing vengeance on Chnlove, I just dusted myself off and started again. This time, I wrote to a few women, with the aim of choosing one. I told them all that if we couldn't make personal contact after the exchange of ten EMFs, then I would regrettably have to say goodbye. Two of the four women were OK with this, then I wrote to the one I liked best. When it became apparent that her agency, were pressurizing her to advance them part of the marriage fee, and that they were fabricating letters, we decided to meet without either the agency or Chnlove knowing. We met in October 2009, married in China in April 2010, and are now living together (for 90 days at a time) in Hong Kong.
Do I like Chnlove? No. I won't be sending them any testimonials. They are just common or garden corporate thieves, who cover up for the agencies. I don't like insurance companies either. I don't much like lawyers. But sometimes insurance companies and lawyers are  necessary evils, to get you what you want. I could tell Chnlove how to run their business better, but they wouldn't listen.
I could have spent my life planning a vendetta against Chlove after my first experience, but that would have only made me bitter. Instead, after they mugged me and hit me for a few hundred pounds, I just found a beautiful woman to heal my wounds.
It is possible to make Chnlove work for you. It is about luck, but more about determination and information and plain common sense. Chnlove is an option. Many of the people who found love via Chnlove found it partly despite Chnlove. But all of them have strong never-give-up patient and stubborn personalities. They do not confuse the love that they have for their wives with the healthy suspicion of an institution. They also know that there will be bigger battles ahead than Chnlove, and they keep their powder dry for those battles, rather than waste time thinking about the rather shaky vehicle that got them there in the first place.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Scottish_Robbie on May 17, 2011, 06:23:38 am


If I had to do this again.Knowing what I know now.I would just go to China and stand on a street corner.The lady of your dreams will be along in a minute.If she can't make it.Her friend will be by.And she is just as beautiful and clever.As the woman of your dreams.If this doesn't work for you.You are doing something wrong.



Om my first trip - I met a lady on the street. Te be MORE precise... ;D...I stopped a lady to help me..and if you read the story you'll know the result.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: seagull on May 17, 2011, 09:57:24 am
Some people may not have had any problems with Chnlove but in general there are very few benefits using this site over say, Chinese Love Links. I used Chnlove in the past and had difficulties, was scammed a couple of times. In the end I joined CLL, and met a nice lady from there. I recently made the trip to China and because I had direct communication with the lady before leaving, there were no nasty surprises when I arrived and things generally went well. Anyway, here are some reasons I could think of why Chnlove is not worth using over other sites:

1. Chnlove is vastly more expensive than CLL and most other sites. With Chnlove you spend a small fortune paying for each EMF you send to a lady and are also charged when she replies to you. With CLL, you pay for your membership for a set period and can contact any member on the site. It doesn't cost anything extra once you have paid your membership fees and you can contact as many people as you like. Chnlove is designed around lining the pockets of agencies.

2. You must communicate through an agency with Chnlove, whereas in most other sites you have direct communication with ladies. So you are never talking with a lady directly, which brings me to #3.

3. You are often wondering if the woman you are communicating with is real or not. There is always that doubt about her and if the agency is playing tricks. Are you writing to a translator and being scammed for EMF credits? Even if you do establish direct contact with a lady, you will always be thinking about which EMFs were real and which ones were written by an agency. Even if the agency was legit, talking with a loved one through a third party isn't a healthy way to have a long distance relationship. With other web sites where you have direct contact with other members, this is one huge concern that does not exist.

4. Chnlove agencies are famous for doctoring photos of women, or only posting studio pics so you have no idea what the lady really looks like. So in addition to not knowing if she is real (the above two points), you are also in doubt about whether she will look in real life anything like she does in the studio photos. There have been examples posted on this forum of how clever agencies are at doctoring images. While in CLL for example, most women post real photos. And if they don't, you can always ask them for a real pic as you are in direct contact with them, and it doesn't cost you anything extra. So if things do not work out, no financial loss at all.

5. If you do make the trip to China, agencies may charge very large fees to women for you visiting them. If the relationship is successful, more fees may be incurred, e.g. a marriage fee. Of course, this depends on the agency, some may not charge these fees, but from what I have heard, most of them do. Again, this is something that simply doesn't exist on other sites like CLL.

6. If you do go to China and have a successful meeting, what happens then? Are you going to be communicating through a third party forever and paying extortionate fees for EMFs? What kind of relationship is it where you have to use a middle man to communicate with the love of your life? Chnlove tries to create a dependency on agents/translators. It works for some people, but not for me.

The only advantages of using Chnlove I could think of:

1. Most of the ladies there are looking for marriage. While on CLL some are only looking for friendship, language exchange, etc. But this isn't a big deal as you can filter these people out of your searches on CLL.

2. If you do visit a Chnlove lady in China, if things do not work out, the agency may be able to introduce you to another lady. While with CLL you are left on your own unless you took the time to network.

But that said, I really can't see the benefit of why anyone would want to use Chnlove compared to other sites. There are too many risks involved, and you are placing too much power into the hands of a third party. It is too easy for things to go wrong. The risks far outweigh the benefits compared to using other web sites like CLL.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Willy The Londoner on May 17, 2011, 10:24:37 am
Chnlove is a business they are not a non profitmaking organisation. They make a profit otherwise there would not be a chnlove  website.

All websites need to make a profit . How much you contribute to is is your choice.  But are esso, macdonalds, kfc, and are rest like them all thieves because they make a profit.  Do not tell me that a McDonalds in value for money.

You know I was a partner in a china dating site and you would not believe the lengths some people would go to to save just 5 dollars.

You want it cheap then go buy a magazine at the bookstall.

Willy



Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Chong on May 17, 2011, 11:54:46 am
First thing is ... learn some Mandarin.

Second, take a trip "inside" China ... lol ... [ airport joke ]. meet as many people as possible through networking.

Third, you won't know if the lady's right for you until you actually meet.

Fourth ... combine points # 2 and # 3.

My wife had no problem signing a pre-nup. A pre-nup also protects her as well ... i.e a post marriage settlement in case your marriage doesn't work out.

My thoughts on the quality of ChnLove ladies as you're looking for a professional young lady ... you'll find one but not both together. They're either young with a general labour job or older whose's a professional but divorce with/without a child. You'll rarely find a young professional, especially a doctor, lawyer or teacher. If you do find one, the profile may not be legit.

IMHO.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Pineau on May 17, 2011, 02:02:40 pm
Chnlove is a business they are not a non profitmaking organisation. They make a profit otherwise there would not be a chnlove  website.

All websites need to make a profit . How much you contribute to is is your choice.  But are esso, macdonalds, kfc, and are rest like them all thieves because they make a profit.  Do not tell me that a McDonalds in value for money.


Willy

Yes Willy if you are in business you are obliged to make a profit for your stockholders. Business for profit was not the question here. An HONEST profit is do to anyone that EARNS it.  I don't consider legitimate businesses thieves. But on the other hand I don't consider Chnlove a legitimate business either.  The guy is asking for pros and cons about Chnluv.

I have never had McDonalds charge me for a hamburger and give me anything other than a real hamburger. And for the most part the hamburger looks very much like the one on the menu. And none of the waiters are feeding me hype about it having magical properties.  No surprises. You get what you purchased at the price advertised.

Since you have introduced this restrant analogy, lets put it to good use. 

Suppose there is a restaurant and they have a marvelous menu of wonderful dishes with beautiful photos of each dish. They are doing great business but over a period of time a few customers are starting to complain. Some discover that the food is not the same as pictured in the menu and the waitress was misrepresenting the food. And for heavens sake someone that ordered a beef steak found out it was really dog.  Now after a while the complaints are beginning to accumulate. 

What is a responsible business owner to do?
1. Nothing, they are making far too much money to change any business practices.
2. Cover up the problem and pretend that it does not exist. keep raking in the money.
3. Blame it on some of their vendors and over zealous waitresses.
4. Fire the waitresses or put them on strict probation.
5. Sever all ties with the cheating vendors to regain your integrity.
6. Make restitution with the customers by compensating them for their losses.
7. Do a thorough investigation followed by a house cleaning from top to bottom including all external vendors.

What is the customer and a good citizen to do when asked about the restrant?  Could you recommend this restrant to your friends or family if half of the customers were being cheated. How about just one third. Or ten percent or just one percent.

What if it was you or a friend that was the one in a hundred that got the dog?  Could you ever recommend this restrant to one of your friends?  I couldn't and I wouldn't. Even if I got steak each and every time I ordered steak. If I knew of only one instance of a friend having documented proof that he had been swindled I could not possibly stand and defend this business's right to make a proffit at the expense of the naive public.

If you had a wonderful experience with Chnlove by all means share it (with a disclaimer), but if your experience was mundane or average don't turn it into a testimonial of their goodness. 

I like visiting Mexico. I sometimes drink the water and I have not got sick. PLEASE don't interpret that as a testimonial of the purity of Mexico's water.  I've just been lucky. I do not recommend it to anyone.

Gosh I am tired of this topic. I think I will refrain from posting about Chnlove for a while. It just raises my blood pressure every time.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Mikael_Shim on May 17, 2011, 02:18:44 pm
Chnlove is a business they are not a non profitmaking organisation. They make a profit otherwise there would not be a chnlove  website.

All websites need to make a profit . How much you contribute to is is your choice.  But are esso, macdonalds, kfc, and are rest like them all thieves because they make a profit.  Do not tell me that a McDonalds in value for money.


Willy

Yes Willy if you are in business you are obliged to make a profit for your stockholders. Business for profit was not the question here. An HONEST profit is do to anyone that EARNS it.  I don't consider legitimate businesses thieves. But on the other hand I don't consider Chnlove a legitimate business either.  The guy is asking for pros and cons about Chnluv.

I have never had McDonalds charge me for a hamburger and give me anything other than a real hamburger. And for the most part the hamburger looks very much like the one on the menu. And none of the waiters are feeding me hype about it having magical properties.  No surprises. You get what you purchased at the price advertised.

Since you have introduced this restrant analogy, lets put it to good use. 

Suppose there is a restaurant and they have a marvelous menu of wonderful dishes with beautiful photos of each dish. They are doing great business but over a period of time a few customers are starting to complain. Some discover that the food is not the same as pictured in the menu and the waitress was misrepresenting the food. And for heavens sake someone that ordered a beef steak found out it was really dog.  Now after a while the complaints are beginning to accumulate. 

What is a responsible business owner to do?
1. Nothing, they are making far too much money to change any business practices.
2. Cover up the problem and pretend that it does not exist. keep raking in the money.
3. Blame it on some of their vendors and over zealous waitresses.
4. Fire the waitresses or put them on strict probation.
5. Sever all ties with the cheating vendors to regain your integrity.
6. Make restitution with the customers by compensating them for their losses.
7. Do a thorough investigation followed by a house cleaning from top to bottom including all external vendors.

What is the customer and a good citizen to do when asked about the restrant?  Could you recommend this restrant to your friends or family if half of the customers were being cheated. How about just one third. Or ten percent or just one percent.

What if it was you or a friend that was the one in a hundred that got the dog?  Could you ever recommend this restrant to one of your friends?  I couldn't and I wouldn't. Even if I got steak each and every time I ordered steak. If I knew of only one instance of a friend having documented proof that he had been swindled I could not possibly stand and defend this business's right to make a proffit at the expense of the naive public.

If you had a wonderful experience with Chnlove by all means share it (with a disclaimer), but if your experience was mundane or average don't turn it into a testimonial of their goodness. 

I like visiting Mexico. I sometimes drink the water and I have not got sick. PLEASE don't interpret that as a testimonial of the purity of Mexico's water.  I've just been lucky. I do not recommend it to anyone.

Gosh I am tired of this topic. I think I will refrain from posting about Chnlove for a while. It just raises my blood pressure every time.

Lol, funny comparision. And yes, its not just funny it actually has several good points. Personally, i dont think chnlove are to blame for the high rates of scams, the local agencies are. The fact that Chnlove doesnt really have any quality assurance for their mainland partners (agencies) and that they undoubtedly are aware of the problems but dont seem to bother much about it as long as the $ keeps flowing in is another thing, remember this is China and well.... they do business a bit different here ;-). I didnt personally have any issues with chnlove that i werent able to adress to the agency and they acted professionally and serious after i politely but firmly asked to be spared the sugar coating. In the end however, i did not meet my girl through chnlove. Knowing what i do now, and as i now live in China. The best recommendation i could give is to simply haul your ass over here, no need for these agencies or any dating sites at all unless you need them because you feel you lack the social ability to make direct contact with women without any prior "virtual" contact. Good luck
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Vince G on May 17, 2011, 04:36:00 pm
I can debate the restaurant analogy, but I won't. Maybe he was hungry when he wrote it but I have a habit of cutting it short and getting to the root of things.

Knowledge, is all you need.
If your over 50 and a 20 year old promises "love you long time"… and you go for it? Who is to blame?

If you know the photos get photoshopped? and you choose to believe differently? Who's to blame?

If you base your relationship just on EMF's? Who's to blame?

And for the thousandth or maybe the two thousandth time, women sign up with the agency, not Chnlove.

I have been on Chnlove a few years now. There has been ups and downs but never ripped off. If I felt the woman was fake? I stopped writing. I have had real email addresses and phone numbers. I know because I used them.

Use your big head.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Scottish_Robbie on May 17, 2011, 05:09:06 pm
I can debate the restaurant analogy, but I won't. Maybe he was hungry when he wrote it but I have a habit of cutting it short and getting to the root of things.

Knowledge, is all you need.
If your over 50 and a 20 year old promises "love you long time"… and you go for it? Who is to blame?

If you know the photos get photoshopped? and you choose to believe differently? Who's to blame?

If you base your relationship just on EMF's? Who's to blame?

And for the thousandth or maybe the two thousandth time, women sign up with the agency, not Chnlove.

I have been on Chnlove a few years now. There has been ups and downs but never ripped off. If I felt the woman was fake? I stopped writing. I have had real email addresses and phone numbers. I know because I used them.

Use your big head.


VINCE....WHOSE TO BLAME??? ;D ;D
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: ChinaTraveler on May 17, 2011, 06:00:16 pm
Wow...many passionate views here...Like I wrote before,  I am a patient man . I already have booked a needed business trip to China...so will extend it for a two week period to have a look around. I am not in any hurry .....but a person needs to set goals and a time frame...I thank you all for your views...and of course a picture does emerge .
I will try both sites...already have purchases one large block of "credits" from Chnluv. It is pricy ...yet much much less than one date night here in LA . I have had an interest with Chinese women for many years and a several years relationship with a LA born chinese girl. (Her family  sent her brother back to China when it was time to search for his bride....enough said) Will try to manage Chnluv well with a extra cautious eye.....! I think what most people suggested was best ...get them off the EMF to msn or qq and video chats to see the real person. What she is like ...how she handles questions... but to be fair still buy the occasional gifts thru the agency .. I am already set up for both . Will also spend some time on Chinese Love Links..already chatting a few there..! For me I think this will take time . This is an amazing site ....thank you all of the "brothers" out there .
Everybody's view has helped me form a collective sense of things...special thanks to the suggestions and comments from Chong and Mikael_Shim....easy to agree with what I had already figured out from my research. Will start hitting the books for some language skills (for the next few years I suspect) and as both have suggested. I am  looking  ahead and will start spending "face" time in China in the coming years.
This is an amazing resource for guys like me .....again Thank you !
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: ITguy on May 17, 2011, 08:06:11 pm
Ahhh, come on you guys, what's not to like about 5 buckerino EMF's, Hahahaha !  ;D

Ya, things can get pretty wild when you’re writing a number of ladies, that can get expensive real fast !! Hahaha !  :o

I thought I would chirp in here to give my 2 cents, errrrr... I mean...yuan's worth on some of my experience.

I would have to say I am somewhere in the middle, I would not say I am for Chnlove nor would I say I am totally against it. I agree with what Philip said, consider it an option, there are many options out there.

When I first joined Chnlove, I went through lots of EMF's talking to various ladies. I learned a lot by talking with many gals but I soon got weiry of having so many Ben Franks depart on a regular basis. Then I started reading the forum on Chnlove where guys would talk about their experiences. I became more informed and started doing things differently. I would ask much sooner for casual photos. Yes, there were a whole slew of people I wrote but then after I saw the more casual photo of them, I cut the relationship off because there was too big a difference between the real photo and the original one they had up. That saved tons of EMF’s !

After a while, I settled on one lady and went to see her directly in China. When I met her at the airport with her translator, I was a bit surprised that she too looked a bit older than what she put up for her profile photo. That put me off but I went onward. Problems started to happen with the translator, she was a nice person but when she said certain things to me in person, those were different than what was written to me in the EMF's. In fact, I got into an argument about this with her. Things went up and down with the lady I was interested in but things improved a little towards when I needed to leave China, I told her that I would come back to see her. But I knew I would not use that same translator again, it just did not feel right.

I used Chnlove to meet another lady. I would have to say that this person was quite nice and resembled her photo. I did not feel anything strange here, it was good since the gal could also speak some English which made things easier. Things did not work out with this lady but I cannot say there was anything weird or strange that happened. Yes, I think part of it was not having a translator right there listening in to every detail we both said. There are times when you want some privacy and do not want to share stuff you are saying with a translator.

Another thing that happened is I met a really nice guy in the hotel where I was staying at on one trip to China. I met him accidentally when I was walking around the lobby looking at some of the shops. I heard English and then I went to find out who was talking since I did not see one single foreigner while I was there at that hotel. I introduced myself and he was quite open to talking more, we made an arrangement to visit with each other. We drank some beers and tea together and it turned out he too was looking for a wife, he also was using Chnlove. Well, when he told me the details of what happened, that really opened my eyes up. He was all set to be married to a lady whom he had been writing letters to, but when he got over to China to set up the marriage, something weird happened. The agency told him the former husband of the woman he was interested in came in and put a stop on the marriage. My friend could not even see her to discuss anything !! Wow, you can imagine the feelings my friend had when this happened, it was a major nightmare. My friend told me that he spent a number of days just crying, he wondered what to do. He told me that since he was already in China, instead of going back home he would go onward to meet other women. Well, he wrote to someone else after picking himself up, again using Chnlove. He told one lady he would come down to see her and that lady agreed to meet him at the airport, guess what ? No one showed up !! Geeze, what a raw deal after that first horrible experience ! Some airport staff helped him find a hotel, and the hotel he chose is the one where I met him. Believe me, after having many conversations with him, this really opened my eyes up.

Something else I want to say...please trust yourself and if you do not feel comfortable with a translator once you get to China, find one you do feel good about. Some of these translators are nice people and even though some know English quite well, they ARE NOT relationship experts !! A few have stepped outside of the boundaries of what I consider good practice, making recommendations about money matters, or things I should/should not do, I gave up on them. It took a while but I did find some who I could trust more. I personally think it is also a good idea to get a pocket translator (BESTA or something similar) and use that on some of the dates you have. Try a date with just your lady, she might open up to you more since there won’t be a go between. You might find out very valuable things you would never find out about when there is actual person translator there. It is NOT AN EITHER OR THING, you can have both a translator AND pocket translator. I for one will be using both !

Lastly, thanks to those who shared your ideas/opinions here in a more extended context, I learned a lot from you guys already ! I appreciate that !

Mac
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Martin on May 17, 2011, 10:33:32 pm
I would like to add my 2 cents worth.  There are many scams on chnlove...this is a fact.  There are also many successes on chnlove.  This is also a fact.  There are risks going this route.  There are also risks using China Love Links.  There are risks using any online dating site.  There are risks using Plenty Of Fish.  I am not trying to endorse on site over another.  There are risks involved in all sites.  One thing many have to also consider is, getting married after knowing each other online, but not so much in person.  While there have been some successes, there have also been some failures going this route.  I could name off a few guys right now...Ed, Jim B, and myself included.  If I had to do it all over again, I would likely go with Chong's action plan.  It worked for him, and has also worked for others.  Go to China, and meet someone face to face.  See if you are compatible.  Anyone can be anything they like in e-mail/EMF/Web Cam, but you can not hide the truth when you get to know each other face to face.  That is my thought.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: RobertBfrom aust on May 18, 2011, 04:10:37 am
One thing is that the electronic age is now upon all of us , when quite a few of us on here started out and even before our facebook start things like doing videocam chats etc , were not even in operation , so now to all the people still searching the ease of direct contact is at your fingertips , anyone who relies simply on emf's is asking for problems , but nothing is a certainty until you spend time face to face in China , or if you are lucky in your own hometown , regards Sujuan and Robert .
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Chong on May 19, 2011, 09:09:45 pm
If I had to do it all over again, I would likely go with Chong's action plan.  It worked for him, and has also worked for others.  Go to China, and meet someone face to face.  See if you are compatible.  Anyone can be anything they like in e-mail/EMF/Web Cam, but you can not hide the truth when you get to know each other face to face.  That is my thought.

I'm fortunate that I can speak my wife's dialect ( Taishanese ). My wife can speak Cantonese & Mandarin also but I suck at it. Communication is the key to any relationship.  Take as many Mandarin 101 classes as possible. As your lady is taking English course, give her consideration by learning her language as well.
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Wilfred Motosue on May 22, 2011, 08:57:46 pm
I did have some problems with some of the girls in Chnlove like as soon as I told one of them or a couple that I was coming to visit them, they "suddenly" had to leave town for a "business" meeting. I might have been true or it might not. I have some skeptism. But I did get to meet at least 18 women in various cities so I did accomplish what I wanted to do through chnlove.
What I did to get rid of the problem of having to communicate with the translator and not your intended girl , I hired a translator who translated what I wrote in English to Chinese and I sent that letter to my lady friend. And when she wrote in Chinese, I merely sent her letter to my translator who translated it to English. After the first introduction letter to my lady friend, she gave me her email address and we were communicating directly that way.  That way a agency translator would not get in the middle of our converstion. And I did this with all my aquaintances that I met through Chnlove. I did not have any problems about guessing if I was talking to a translator except for a couple of girls.
wilfred
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: ChinaTraveler on May 23, 2011, 04:25:41 pm
Lucked out ....met a wonderful girl on qq. not  at an agency ...soon to graduate with a Masters....and she speaks almost perfect english and understands all .Perfect for me, she is 26 ......tall at 5'7 and quite beautiful and smart ! Looking forward to meeting her in a few months so that we will have time  to to get to know one another and see if we share the same values and life's goals. Otherwise will take the many great suggestions I got here and just see who I will meet in person while in China if she is not the one after our time together .Don't know if I will use my memberships in the two agencies I have signed up with ...
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: halfpint on May 23, 2011, 10:31:01 pm
Lots of interesting comments and opinions.  I guess everyone is comfortable with something different.  I didn't use chnlove, I just thought the cost was outrageous.  I used asiandating.com and have met a wonderful lady.  We chatted for a few months using Yahoo Messenger, all for free.  I went went to visit her in Shanghai, she came to visit me here in Canada.  We chat almost every day and have a very good relationship.

Chnlove seems to be oriented towards using translators.  I guess one of the benefits of other sites, at least in my experience, is meeting a lady that can communicate in English.  The lady I met reads, writes and speaks English very well.  I think the risk goes up significantly when you communicate through a translator.

Whatever approach people choose, the important thing is meeting the right lady. 
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Clayton on June 11, 2011, 08:27:17 am
This is interesting, reading what everyone would do if they were looking for a lady again. I personally had no trouble with Chnlove but i wished i had got off the EMF's sooner. The way I would do it again is to Google a city and all the info comes up about that city and most of them advertise translation services, so i would get in touched with some of these and I recon for not much money they would be your tour guide negotiator ext.  You only need to strike a repore with just one person and you have a foot in the door so to speak
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Neil on June 11, 2011, 10:26:33 am
I had success with Chnlove.  I met a beautiful woman after 6 months of EMF's who hardly knew me.  She was amazing, but we were not meant to be together. 

I met my wife on qq.  We became friends first.  I wanted to return to China and I was beginning to feel really attracted to her, so I visited.  She was amazing, so I asked her to marry me.  I returned a few months later and got married. 

My suggestion would be, and what I would do if I had to do it again: make some friends in China, go and visit.  If you return single, you didn't try.  Someone will introduce you to the woman of your dreams. 
Title: Re: Dreaded ChnLuv questions....from a new guy ...
Post by: Arnold on June 12, 2011, 02:16:41 pm
As most of you know , I had great success with Chnlove . If I had to do it over again , I certainly would do it exactly the way I did it the first time .. only downfall would be .. how could I expect it to go exactly the way I found my Wife ? This has really been a chance in a Lifetime and it will never be repeated . So , like they say .. if you miss the Boat you're out of Luck . The next Boat different Destination/different Crew/different Outcome .