China Romance
All About China => Marrying A Lady In China => Topic started by: Philip on May 10, 2010, 06:20:29 pm
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Like Bob Hope and Bing Crosby (and Dorothy Lamour), I am on the road to Hong Kong.
Having lived for 46 years in England (28 of them in London), I am three months away from a new job and a new life in Hong Kong in August. A year ago, I would not have imagined that I would be making such a life-changing decision. That's what China does to you. I am a naturally cautious person, so why do I feel no fear about uprooting myself from everything that is familiar?
My wife has recently got a job in a cake shop in her home town. She works 10 hours a day for very low wages. It was the only kind of work she could get for the three months to August. She says that most jobs with decent wages required her to commit to at least a year. I admire her. I hope that she will be able to get a job when we are living in Hong Kong, though there is no hurry. She would like to work there. I am not sure what prospects she has, being a Mandarin speaker, with little knowledge of Cantonese.
I think she is finding this separation harder than I am. I get strength from the emotional security of being sure of our relationship and from our marriage. I really miss her though. But she finds the physical separation very difficult to cope with. She finds it hard to sleep. She is alone with her worries. Talking with her every day only goes so far. For her, talking is a pale substitute for us being together.
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Philip...its been a lot of fun following your story since you first joined us here. I wish you the best of luck in this new endeavor to Hong Kong. It must be exciting and a little scary at the same time. But, at least you will be with your wife all the time. I am happy for you.
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Philip,
Sara and I wish you well and much success in your new adventure. I to was a little apprehensive when i sold my
house and everthing had to come here. But in all honesty i havent regretted the move one bit and i think you will
feel the same. Good luck and sounds like you have a winner with your wife. When your here give me a call and maybe
we can get together at times whether here in Guangzhou or Hong Kong. Best Wishes
Ted and Sara
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Like Bob Hope and Bing Crosby (and Dorothy Lamour), I am on the road to Hong Kong.
Philip I can see you as Bing Crosby, suave and sophisicated. And there is no doubt who Dorothy Lamour is.
But who is playing the part of Bob Hope?
Willy
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Hi.
My wife has rheumatoid arthritis. She is 36, which I think is a little young. She has been suffering a lot of pain in her legs recently. She is over the worst now. She has only recently told me about it. She was worried that I would leave her. I told her I would never leave her. A load has been lifted from her mind and she is much happier.
Her doctor has been particularly useless. From what I understand from Western treatments, there are drugs you can take to ease the pain, and different drugs you can take to reduce the long term damage caused by bone erosion. Her doctor has given her drugs to ease the pain, which have been ineffective, and has told her that rheumatoid arthritis can be 'cured', which I know it cannot.
When we are in Hong Kong, I would like to take her to a Western doctor, to find out about Western treatments, some of which have had a good success rate. Does anyone have any advice about what I should do. I am not against Chinese medicine, but do you know about its effectiveness, particularly with regard to arthritis. I don't want to wait years while she undergoes ineffective treatment, when I can get things started in the next few months with a treatment with a proven track record in the West.
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Sorry to hear about that Philip. It does sound like she's a little young for arthritis... from what I have read and understood, there's not too much you can do. But having a second opinion of any type might not hurt. Depending on where the arthritis actually is, she might do well with stuff like glucosamine capsules (could be expensive there). I really hate to suggest painkillers because in my experience, if you use them too much, you're going to need more and more as they become less effective. Also keeping her stress levels down might help (now that the load is off her mind)...
(Note, I'm not a doctor, just got this much from what I have read in the past)
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Philip,
Get a second opinion, It may not be rheumatoid arthritis at all, but a circulatory problem. Rheumatoid arthritis almost always normally starts in the joints of the hands, and progresses to other extremity joints from there, but there are always exceptions of course....
My late wife's father suffered from knee joint rheumatoid arthritis, part of his treatment was an injection of gold/oil into each joint, every 6 months, ....or as he used to say he's ''oil change service'' seemed to make life much better for him anyway...
David....
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Philip , it happens I'm not a Doctor either . But , I can tell you that 36 seems young to have rheumatoid arthritis .. but I had to deal with it ( well my late Wife actually did ) . As we were Married , she was 36 the same age as your Wife and as I now remember .. she had always the problem with her back way back then . Had it checked some years ( 2 or 3 ) by our Family Doc and it also turn out as rheumatoid arthritis of the Spine . So she had to deal with this for the 30 years we were married til her passing 3 years ago . She used Pain-killers of different kinds
( prescriptions ) and lived with it .. as it always had it's up's and down's in Pain . Just like the weather , which had a lot to do with it ( especially the cold ) how bad it was .
Anyway , it can be an aweful thing to watch your Lady in Pain . Most she can do is just rest and stay off her feet till she feels better .
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I would definitely get a second opinion. You can get Rheumatoid Arthritis at any age.Ive known a couple of teenagers who showed symptoms of the disease when one turned 12 the other one started showing symptoms at 18.It seems to have something to do with genetics.And with what the person ate when they were in there formative years
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Phillip,
Most of the people I know who have it just deal with the pain. It if is a joint I do know a few who swear but WD 40. Now don't laugh. They tell me the oil penetrates the skin and lubes the joints. I don't know how true it is but like I say there are 2 I know of that swear by it.
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Shaun,
Are you ''Serious''???.ALL Oils derived from petrochemicals are ''toxic'' to the human body!! I wouldn't mind taking a bet out , that the workers at the WD40 Processing and packing facility wear protective clothing, especially on there hands.
Well you don't die from Rheumatoid Arthritis, but there's a bloody good chance you can die from the toxin build up from rubbing in WD40 onto your joints!!!! ....hahaha!!!
David.....
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Hmm. WD40. Might have to get a second opinion, from my local mechanic.
I appreciate The Wizard of Oz as much as the next person, but my wife isn't the Tin Man. You can't just oil her joints and hope she'll run off and defeat the Wicked Witch of the West. Plus, unlike the Tin Man, she'll all heart. :-*
Anyway, thank for all the good advice from the non-doctors. You make more sense than her doictor!
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Hmm. WD40. Might have to get a second opinion, from my local mechanic.
Well Philip , here is your Mechanic's advice . I go with David5o on this one and save the WD40 for my Work .
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I'm with David and Arnold on the WD40.It won't hurt you today.It wont hurt you tomorrow.But it will definitely get you in the near future.It is called over exposure.That stuff keeps building up in your body.And it can and will cause serious health problems latter in life.
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:-\ There can't be anyone that really assumes that WD40 would penetrate though the skin to the joints? It's got to be a joke? If anything, what needs to be taken is Glucosamine/Chondroitin/MSM to support healthy joint functions. Glucosamine is a amino sugar that helps support cartilage and the flexibility of joints.
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Vince,
It will indeed penetrate the skin, but it won't get anywhere near the joints, it'll be whisked away by the blood stream and other circulatory systems and end up in all the wrong places... One being the liver and for another the lymph nodes. Nothing much healthy in contaminating either of them, they can't break down the toxins and get rid of it as waste, so it just builds up, and the nasties will eventually cause tumours and/or system poisioning!!!
Yep!! ...those products you mentioned will indeed be much better for your joints and body, ....than a spay can of WD40..... lol!!!!
David....
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I've heard the theory about spraying WD40 on sore body parts as well. I agree with David though, that shit can't be good for you.
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Bloody hell guys, whats next..Oil in place of blood !!! ???
Hehe I though I was the dumb one... ;D ;D
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Wow guys. I didn't have any idea that I would stir it up. Yes there are people who do it. I have not. I do not see the need. I know one woman who has been doing it for 30 years. It was the first time I heard of it. I have never studied the possible ramifications of using WD 40. I remembered it when I was commenting, that is all.
What little arthritis I have I ignore. Eventually I forget there is pain until someone mentions it.
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lots of alternative medicine procedures out there but i would pass on this one as the
long term effect would be devastating to your system
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Philip,
by the way how are the plans proceeding for your move here?
Ted
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The two types of arthritis I know of is osteo arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis. One is caused from an injury to the joint and the other is more of an ageing one. I have had a couple joint injuries to my right arm from my employment. (RMS) 1989 I had a bone scan done and the specialist said I had both types of arthuritis. Rheumatoid arthuritis was only just starting in my right rotator cuff (shoulder) and osteo arthuritis was in my right elbow and wrist. I was 32 years old. Glucosamine is the best result I have so far. I would never use WD-40 on my joints. Keep that stuff for the machinery and working on your car/truck.
As a little trivia about petrochemicals, did you know asprin was made from crude oil? Check out the Modern Marvels episode called Secrets of Crude.
If you want I can get my dad to give you his opinion on this using of WD-40 on joints. He is a doctor. He will just say to rub some horse linament on the joint.
Dave C
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Asprin originally came from white willow bark.
But yes most modern drugs have their feed stock based on petrochemicals, typically benzene or methane
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Hi Ted,
I have sold about £200 worth of stuff on EBay. I have just taken a carload of stuff, books, tools, games, etc. to my house in France. Built my stone wall a little higher, using lime mortar. My Dad came with me, helped cut the grass in my field before it becomes a jungle.
I will sell my car soon. Then I have hired a van to take the rest of my stuff to France in July.
My new employers in Hong Kong have asked me for many papers. References from more than 10 years, medical certificate, chest x-ray, police check, working visa application. They have most of the documents now. I fly out on July 29th. When I arrive my employers will put me up in temporary accommodation for up to 2 months while I find an apartment.
My wife and I are very much in love. It is hard being apart. She still has many insecurities, but they seem to lessen as the weeks go by. I first wrote to her just over a year ago, and she is only now beginning to believe that I will never leave her, that my family will accept her, that she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.
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Hello Philip,
well it seems as though everything is proceeding along quite well for you. thats good to hear. i am sure that after your here
for a couple of years you will probably want to stay on here or maybe on the mainland. you will by then have quite a foundation
layed for securing a really decent position on the mainland were your money will go quite farther compared to Hong Kong. but its
all a matter of personal tastes. i like the mainland because my money goes farther than Hong Kong but thats my personal taste as
i really dont want to work full time. 35 years of corporate culture in the USA has left me with the desire to just want to take it easy
now which is what i am doing here. although Guangzhou is really starting to get pricey so maybe the next step might be going to
Guilin which is rich in scenery and a little cheaper but doesnt have all the different emenities like Hong Kong or Guangzhou. well
whenever you get a break and want to go away Guangzhou is a short distance and Sara and I would enjoy meeting the two of you
and showing you around here. best of luck with the remaining parts you need to do before you leave. ede
Ted
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Phillip, below is a natural healing site ... where people have tried different remedies ... with feed back on what works for them ... this link pertains to arthritis
I have found very useful information here on many aliments or conditions
http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/arthritis.html (http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/arthritis.html)
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Hi guys,
thanks Rob for the info. Apple cider vinegar seems to be the magic solution. Worth a try.
Today, I found out that I have succeeded in getting the working visa to work in Hong Kong. Fantastic. I am that bit closer to Hong Kong now. Got a chest x-ray from my local GP for £30. Not bad. Only need to send a police check now and that's all the documentation.
While I frantically try and sell some of my stuff, do my present teaching job, cancel direct debits, change my address, sort out my finances, I do not forget that my wife is the reason I am doing all this. We QQ each other 2 or 3 times a day, and continue to find more things out about each other.
Whether things are going well or not so well between me and my wife, I attribute it to something that we are doing or sometimes to a misunderstanding. While I like to find out about Chinese traditions, and history, I do not use generalisations about Chinese women to explain why things are not working out. Luckily, things are going really well at the moment. Of course the real test lies ahead.
I still don't know when I will get to meet my wife's children. Recently, I discovered that my wife has not told her father about us. She says he would be upset if he knew. As with everything in our relationship, we are taking things one step at a time.
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a miss communication or her being hungry usually leads to our temporary mis guidances but overall not bad
philip looks like when you get here your going to need a rest lol!!! with all that is going on to get done
i know when i moved here it was such a welcome thing because not only being with Sara i also finally
got a chance to relax after 3 months of getting everything in order and sold to get here it is really amazing
to find what you have after 30 years stored in your garage,house,storage sheds,storage units and then trying
to liquidate it. i strongly suggest to other members thinking of coming here to live start as early as you can even
if you havent met your lady yet saves a lot of time and energy when the time comes
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Wow guys. I didn't have any idea that I would stir it up. Yes there are people who do it. I have not. I do not see the need. I know one woman who has been doing it for 30 years. It was the first time I heard of it. I have never studied the possible ramifications of using WD 40. I remembered it when I was commenting, that is all.
What little arthritis I have I ignore. Eventually I forget there is pain until someone mentions it.
We can thank BP and just swim of the gulf coast. That will oil our joints and keep them from sticking. Remember, look for the silver lining in all things, and make lemon aid when given a hand full of lemons.
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philip,
will you be able to get to HK before you need to start teaching to have some time
alone with your lady before the daily grind begins? sure would be nice for you to
get some r and r beforehand as i know what your going thru trying to get everything
done to relocate here as i did that last summer before i got here
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OK. Cleared out my flat. Last week, hired a van to take all my stuff to my French house. Tomorrow, I fly to Hong Kong, getting there on the morning of the 30th.
This is where it all begins. I will be staying in the YWCA (to paraphrase the song - "It's fun to stay at the Y-W-C-A!"), until I find a nice apartment.
It seems my wife will not be able to join me for at least a month. She needs to get an entry/exit permit, and only then can I apply for her dependant's visa attached to my working visa. That's the only thing that puts a dampener on my excitement about starting a new life.
Ted and Willy, could you PM me your contact details. It would be great to meet up one weekend (I have weekends free), and perhaps we could give Rob some English lessons when he comes, ha ha!
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will send to you the contact numbers Philip good to hear your almost here. you at least have a little time
to get rest and aquainted with your new surroundings.
maybe we could give rob and willy some lessons might help :o
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Thanks Ted for taking the time, in what must be a tough time. You would be forgiven for ignoring us and focussing on going back to the States to sort things out.
I arrived in Hong Kong today to a wall of humidity. I think I sweated off a few pounds stepping off the plane.
Like Willy, I am a fan of Jet airways now. I knew my luggage would be over the limit, even though Jet allows a generous 32kg. My bag weighed 41 kg. So I just took out my two small cases (one with 280 CDs, the other with 280 DVDs) and the lady said I could carry them as hand luggage. So, my bag now checked in at 31kg, And I was carrying a small rucksack, a laptop and two 5kg cases on as hand luggage. No extra charge. Brilliant. Decent seats, decent movies, decent service. Thumbs up for Jet.
I now have my own self-contained flat in the YWCA near my work. Paid for by the school. There is broadband here. Only problem is I can't chat to my wife on QQ, because they have blocked it after prev ious resident downloaded too much stuff. Used 20 minutes of free wireless at the Starbucks in the nearby Festival shopping mall, but wish we could chat on QQ. My wife uses QQ almost exclusively.Hope she'll be able to set up MSN.
Hong Kong is a bit exciting. Before I meet up with the school on Sunday, I will do a bit of exploring, might even check out the New Territories.
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Congratulations Philip , I am sure Hong Kong welcomes you , may you enjoy slipping backwards and forwards over the mainland border , and good luck with work , regards Robert and Sujuan .
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Exciting times for sure Phillip. I have only been to Hong Kong once and I loved it especially the outdoor markets and the draught Guinness! ;D. I hope your meeting with the school goes well and its all plain sailing ahead for you and your wife. Good luck with the new job!
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Did a bit of exploring today. Got an Octopus card, which you can use to travel on the underground, buses or trams, plus you can use it to shop too! The underground is fantastic. On a steaming hot day, it was amazing to wait on an air-conditioned platform and sit in an air-conditioned carriage. It is clean and cheap and fast to travel anywhere in Hong Kong.
Somewhat perversely, I bought a bike today. Space being limited in this city, I got a bike that can fold down to the size of a postage stamp (well, not quite). For 650 HK dollars (about £55), I got a neat little bike from a tiny bike shop in downtown Kowloon. The guy was very helpful. I then proceeded to weave in and out of traffic in the centre of town, hardly scarier than doing it in London. Plus I have managed to cross a few roads in China and survived! Pedestrians tend to wait until the green light before crossing the road here. (Is it illegal to do otherwise? I don't know) The streets are remarkably clean - puts London to shame. I cycled towards the hills to the north of Kowloon. The bike doesn't really do steep, but it was an achievement to reach the top of one hill to rest and enjoy a great view over Kowloon and Hong Kong.
Food is quite expensive. I may have to cut out dairy products from my diet. Either that, or get a pet cow. I'm glad I brought a decent supply of my favourite French coffee.
I returned to my room at the YWCA, carrying my folded bike. The doorman raised an eyebrow, but said it was fine to keep it in my room.
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sounds like an eventful day, i dont think it is illegal to cross but if it is they never do anything
about it. i always cross when its clear and stand in the middle of the street until its clear
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Sara has also been talking of buying me a bike so we could ride around Guangzhou for some exersize.
mmmm now that would be a challenging thing to do especially around 5 pm rush hour. she also has one of
those small bikes that fold up but im to big to ride it.