China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: Neil on November 01, 2010, 07:13:06 am
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I totally didn't mean for things to turn out the way they did. I had written off the idea of finding a Chinese wife, especially one that doesn't speak English.
I've had three Chinese girlfriends of varying degrees. Nina, who I visited twice, fell head over heels for, and to this day feel like I missed out on something special. Brenda, who I wrote to for a couple months, but ended literally days before I planned to buy a ticket to visit her. Yang Yang, who lives in my town, who I laid my heart out for, who I still consider a good friend, but nothing more.
While I was writing to Brenda, I got a random qq add who turned out to be really cool (Alice). She asked me about Nina and how we met and I showed her how to register on Chineselovelinks where I had an account and met Brenda. We would chat off and on, purely innocent nonsense. She asked me once to find her a Canadian boyfriend, and I jokingly suggested that I wanted to keep her as a second girlfriend. A month after Brenda shut me down, Alice found my profile on Chineselovelinks. We chatted for a couple more months. It was totally innocent, just being friends with each other.
But, as we all know, men and women can't be friends. I had planned and budgeted for a trip to China and, after a beautiful day with Yang Yang turned out to be nothing but a touchdown in the friends zone, I decided to head east again. I had no expectations. Through all of our conversations, Alice had repeatedly told me that she was not an attractive woman. I had seen her a couple times on webcam but she had lost her job 2 months previously so there was no way for her to share photos with me. I had one old photo, but under no circumstance was she going to send me a picture, no matter how hard I tried to convince her. I even told her that I wouldn't recognize her when I come, to which she replied that she would recognize me. - I know, red flag!
Anyways, after a nightmare 14 hours of turbulence and 4.5 hours of being held prisoner on a jet plane, I finally arrived in Xiamen - just across the sea from Taiwan. I passed through customs and there she was, waiting patiently for me. She lied of course - while she's not as gorgeous as Nina or Yang, she was definitely not unattractive either.
We spent the week in Xiamen, visiting tourist sites, temples, parks and basically getting to know each other. I got to meet her cousin's family - even got to share 2 meals with them, including 4 beer with her cousin's husband. Her cousin's daughter was the only person who could speak any English (she's 13).
Alice is divorced, she has a 6 year old son, she does not speak any English and she is 34. If I had to choose, I would not have chosen her. Funny how things never seem to work out like you plan.
She is the sweetest, most dedicated, loving, caring, gentle woman I have ever met. She has a huge family that love and support her and they are all concerned for her safety and happiness. We had amazing chemistry together. We laughed together so much. She hiked with me up a million stairs to the top of a mountain wearing cute little high-heeled shoes and fed me the hottest spicy noodles I have ever eaten. She peeled every shrimp I ate (and I ate too many) and shared the tastiest pomelo ever.
I've been home from Xiamen for 4 weeks now. I guess I didn't share my story because I wasn't completely sure until recently. There's issues, of course. English is the big one, her son is also going to be a huge issue. But I am a man who will step up to his responsibilities. Hopefully I haven't taken on a task too large, but what can I do? Love is blind.
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Neil,
I'm sitting here with a big smile on my face ;D
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Happy for you.
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Well done Neil , see it hits you right in the face , goodluck on this journey , Sujuan and Robert .
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This is great reading Neil. I would love to hear more.
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Neil, I am happy for you. I have to agree with both you and Mike. There are and will be issues. Anyone who thinks there will not be issues is looking for a fairytale life. Unfortunately I don't think they exist. But I have found like you, there is a sweet gentle woman beaming through all of those issues who can make life worth living for. So I say again I am happy for you. --Shaun
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Neil,
Great to hear you are still in the game. And yes, there are always issues. Success comes from how we resolve them. :)
Dave C
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Neil, from your telling I think Alice is more gorgeous then Nina and Yang together.
Maybe you have read my story. My wife and I have been living together for a little more than a year now. And the language barrier? Well it isn't gone. But it has been improved. When we met, we could hardly communicate with the pocket translator. We had some misunderstandings, but nothing huge. I don't regret the decision I made. In fact I think it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. And for the languages, we are still learning ;D
It seems destiny has shown you a treasure. I think I know how you must feel. I wish you good luck with getting your dream fulfilled.
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Very cool Neil,
Funny how when one doesn't have expectations, they are suddenly exceeded. Very happy for the both of you.
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Neil
...one door closes...and another opens !!!!
Enjoy your new love, you've earned it....and dont sweat the small stuff like Language ;D ;D
David
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Surprise right out of left field. This is really cool Neil.
Gerry
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Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the comments.
Lain's recent posts resonated a bit with me concerning my relationship with Nina. She too was beautiful, smart and intelligent, but very aloof and non-committal. Even relatively recently she sent me a message saying that she cried in the street on the way to work on 10/10/10 which we had set as our original date for marriage. It really tugged at my heart strings, but in the end, she's not the type of woman I want to spend my life with. One thing I noticed with Nina was that when I started to make decisions for myself without including her, she seemed to sit up and take notice. Almost like she was testing me, wanting me to take charge.
With Alice, while she relies on me to make decisions, she always asks my opinion or permission before doing anything serious. She even asked me if I would accept her son, because if I wouldn't, she would allow her son to live with his father instead. Of course, I could never do something like that. She doesn't test me, she doesn't push the boundaries to see what she can get away with, she would never try to deceive me. She can't go a day without chatting with me, and neither can I. That drove me nuts with Nina. She would dissappear for 3, 4 or 5 days, then come online. She would apologize and get all lovie dovie, tell me how much she missed me, tell me how frantic she feels without me (of course I was also starting to feel frantic with worry). I talk with Alice two or three times a day.
She's starting to ask the tough questions now. What do we need to do to get married? When, how soon, and will I ever return? I'm planning for two weeks off during Spring Festival. There is nothing I would like more than to be in China for Spring Festival, except possibly getting married. She figures it will be difficult to marry during the Festival. During the next few months I'll need to get myself organized. I'll probably start asking stupid questions and gathering information.
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Really happy that you decided to share your story with us. I hope everything goes well.
You're definitely going to have questions. And I'm sure that we'll all be happy to help!
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Neil,
It is great to hear all this. Your story about Alice sounds like what I have with the lady I am with now. We web chat 2 times a day and if we have no internet access we text or call on the phone. It is great to hear that things are working out for you. And don't sweat the questions you may want to ask. I am sure there will be someone here that will respond to them. ;)
Dave C
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Good Luck Neil. I hear on Chinese news today that Canada has raised its immigrants allowance for 2011 to 250,000 immigrants. Will that double the population? ;D Will it make things a little easier to get your women home.
Willy
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Double the population? Hahahaha. Funny stuff!
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Wow, she is lovely Neil. I think we've both had enough of princesses!
I actually have a friend with a Chinese wife whose family is from Xiamen, it's a nice place apparently. The local dialect is a bit tough though.
I'm off to visit my lady 2.0 in a couple of weeks ;D.
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Neil, Alice is right. It will be difficult to get married during spring festival time. China is going on standby at this time. Everybody tries to get home to the family. Spring festival is very important for the Chinese people, in my humble opinion more important the Christmas for us.
I am pretty sure you need to get your travel tickets organized soon, as many Chinese from abroad might travel home too.
Good luck with your adventure!
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Last year I as going during Spring festival. By changing my plan and going the end of January instead. The cost became Half. I got round trip out of San Francisco for $640.
$1700 If I had waited for the festival
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Neil I am happy to read the suprising news. I hope the best of success and double more if and when you tie the knot, that Beijing processes your case and not Hong Kong - that place ties you up in knots ::)
Man it was only 2 weeks ago I asked if you were ever planning another trip to China, and then you make this dramatic announcment.
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I'm ashamed to admit that I wasn't completely sure until recently. I didn't want to post about my trip and then break her heart or mine...again.
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No need to feel ashamed Neil for keeping it close to your vest. You have the makings for being a good poker player keeping your cool under such interesting times 8)
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Well guys, tomorrow I leave to meet my Laopo. We will spend 3 weeks together, and hopefully, barring any unforseen circumstances, we will be getting married. I'll try to post from China, but I can't guarantee anything. I think I've got everything lined up. Bags are packed, camera is empty. Work, then sleep, then 24 hours of traveling. I'll be heading deep into small town China. Alice tells me there are no foreigners where she lives. I'll either be a rock star or an alien, I'm hoping for the former but I don't cherish the spotlight.
Happy New Year gentlemen (and ladies).
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Good luck Neil, Enjoy every moment as it passes to quickly, As for the rock star,,,,Alien is more appropriate, That is what i felt like in Handan but loved every second of it, Regards from MinYing and John.
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Have a wonderful trip Neil , and may all that you have planned for come to fruition [ spelling ] regards from Sujuan and Robert .
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Neil, have a great trip. We are all looking to hear great things. Wish I could be in China right now too.
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Good luck, hope it works out for you.
Hope you manage to sneak in a trip report and som pictures :)