China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Useful Links And Articles => Topic started by: JimB on May 28, 2009, 03:26:19 pm
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The Red Envelope is the envelope given to the brides family from the groom. I was told by an elderly Chinese woman who lives here and has been teaching me some things about Chinese culture, that everything in china is about money. Even the language change to simplified Mandarin, while political was based partly in saving money. Terminology in the language itself has basis in money. I cannot think of anything in particular about that but that is what she has said. We as westerners love money but it is not the be all and end all for most of us. I have quit talking to and seeing two friends because they both asked straight out for things. One was a laptop and one was an MP4 player. These were not girlfriends just friends. We are all worried about being taken advantage of. But to them it is not such a big deal. They ask and if you say no it is ok. That is why the "Red Envelope" is such a big deal. In that, Money is not money it is face. The more money in it the more face the family has and the bride has. The higher the standing of the family the more money is supposed to be in it. Therefore in a family that has a decent standing for a second marriage should be about 30,000 to 40,000 RMB. She has told me that even if the bride says it is ok for a smaller amount it is something that may stick with her for her entire life. So think carefully about it. I am just passing this info on so maybe we can consider that when making decisions and not fly off the handle when talked about.
Also as has been said here many times the numbers 8 and 9 have great meaning. So instead of 30,000 it should be 29,999 or 28,888, 8 is love and 9 is longevity
Now the younger generation is not so hung up on it. Younger is under 30. But, she may have some pressure from her family and it could have an effect on your standing both with her and the family. Like I said I am just passing this info on, take it for what it is worth.
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When Ling brought me to meet her parents they gave us both a red envelope (Ling calls them simply "lucky envelopes" ) which she promptly used to buy food on the way back to Guangzhou, they put 50RMB in hers, mine i didn't open because it is kinda sentimental (but presumably has 50RMB in there too). Ling just wanted the money!
So yes the whole thing about money is the way its done. When we went to her friends wedding we each gave lucky envelopes to the bride (we were guests of the bride), there as no other type of gifts. Far more practical than western wedding gifts i suppose.
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When I was in China, whenever we went to a relative for a meal, Zhifang and I always gave a red envelope with money (don't know how much, as she filled it, and I would give it). In every instance, another envelope was returned to us with presumably more money.
Also, at our wedding, as each guest arrived, they gave us a red envelope.
When we were at one relative, the Aunt gave me an envelope, and Zhifang started telling me not to take it. Not sure why. In the end, it was given to us, but I thought I would let you know that you don't always accept what is given....just don't ask me when those times are.
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Martin you should not take the money.If the relative is poor.Every time we go visiting a reletives house we bring food.Ussually some kind of fruit.
The only time we use the red envelope is at a wedding or when a new baby is born.And younger Relitives for Chinese New Year.
Everytime we go to China somebody is trying to give us money family friends.But it is not ussually in a red envelope.So I'm thinking that it is a custom only in some Areas.Kind of like the differences in the wedding ceramoney
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Yeah...that is frustrating...trying to figure out wedding customs when they change from town to town.
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The Red Envelope is the envelope given to the brides family from the groom. I was told by an elderly Chinese woman who lives here and has been teaching me some things about Chinese culture, that everything in china is about money. Even the language change to simplified Mandarin, while political was based partly in saving money. Terminology in the language itself has basis in money. I cannot think of anything in particular about that but that is what she has said. We as westerners love money but it is not the be all and end all for most of us. I have quit talking to and seeing two friends because they both asked straight out for things. One was a laptop and one was an MP4 player. These were not girlfriends just friends. We are all worried about being taken advantage of. But to them it is not such a big deal. They ask and if you say no it is ok. That is why the "Red Envelope" is such a big deal. In that, Money is not money it is face. The more money in it the more face the family has and the bride has. The higher the standing of the family the more money is supposed to be in it. Therefore in a family that has a decent standing for a second marriage should be about 30,000 to 40,000 RMB. She has told me that even if the bride says it is ok for a smaller amount it is something that may stick with her for her entire life. So think carefully about it. I am just passing this info on so maybe we can consider that when making decisions and not fly off the handle when talked about.
Also as has been said here many times the numbers 8 and 9 have great meaning. So instead of 30,000 it should be 29,999 or 28,888, 8 is love and 9 is longevity
Now the younger generation is not so hung up on it. Younger is under 30. But, she may have some pressure from her family and it could have an effect on your standing both with her and the family. Like I said I am just passing this info on, take it for what it is worth.
I would not say that everything about the Chinese culture is money, though we are very practical people!
In Mainland China, the written language is Simplified Chinese, the main spoken language is referred to as Putonghua (it is the same as Mandarin, and "Putonghua" means common language). In Hong Kong and Taiwan, the written language is Traditional Chinese, and the spoken language in Taiwan is Mandarin and in Hong Kong is Cantonese. The reason for simplifying the Chinese written language in the Mainland has NOTHING to do with money, the reason has to do with the low literacy rate after the Cultural Revolution, the government then decided to simplify the written language hoping to increase literacy.
As some of you have mentioned, the “Red Envelope” is mostly given during special occasions such as Chinese New Year, weddings, special gatherings, etc. During Chinese New Year, the elders and married couples give Red Envelopes as a sign of “good luck” to the younger people – you should NOT refuse Red Envelopes in general as you are refusing “good luck”; unmarried people usually do NOT give Red Envelopes, except to their parents as a sign of “thanks” if they are already adults. During weddings, guests give Red Envelopes to help the newlyweds with the bills since it is understood that they have to spend a lot of money during the course of marriage. As for the money (dowry) given to the Bride’s family, this is given as “thanks … for raising your wife (the daughter)” since traditionally the bride is no longer considered a member of her family, and is now “given” to the groom’s family; this amount can vary greatly, mainly depends on the finance of the groom's family, the more well off they are the more the amount – some really rich families have given the equivalent of 10’s of millions of US dollars to the bride’s families for this purpose and this is no joke! Also, unlike western culture, the groom’s family pays for ALL expenses for the process of marriage and the wedding.
Yes, some numbers have special meanings because it sounds similar; the number 8 sounds like ?, ?, or rich/prosperity and 9 sounds like ? or long/longevity.
As with most parts of the world, younger people are less traditional, in fact many of them may not even understand the imprecations behind the traditional practices, as such they are less likely to follow.
Hope this clarifies some of the myths behind the Chinese culture.
-W-
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Thanks , Wilsonlee and yes 71 makes eight too .
I appreciate this very much .
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Thanks , Wilsonlee and yes 71 makes eight too .
I appreciate this very much .
hahaha, funny, I never thought of that! 71 is the year I was born ...
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Thanks , Wilsonlee and yes 71 makes eight too .
I appreciate this very much .
Oh, now I understand why my friend wants me to come on July 1... (7+1) :D
But I resist... I located a fare for almost have price travelling on July 29. I guess the visit is sure to come to nothing...
What if you subtract the 2 from the 9 ?
Toon
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Thanks , Wilsonlee and yes 71 makes eight too .
I appreciate this very much .
hahaha, funny, I never thought of that! 71 is the year I was born ...
Wilsonlee , great .. you know now that you mentioned that , it makes me feel good .. was born '53 .. bingo " 8 " :rolleyes:
Toon , your Lucky also , 29 = makes 11 and that is also a very good number in China .
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Thanks , Wilsonlee and yes 71 makes eight too .
I appreciate this very much .
hahaha, funny, I never thought of that! 71 is the year I was born ...
Wilsonlee , great .. you know now that you mentioned that , it makes me feel good .. was born '53 .. bingo " 8 " :rolleyes:
Toon , your Lucky also , 29 = makes 11 and that is also a very good number in China .
Guess the number 1 is not lucky...
The girl broke off early this morning (after midmight), mainly as a result of a series of terrible misunderstanding due to her machine and my online (MDBG) translations.
I almost paid for the booking to visit her.
Good dialog just doesn't seem possible... i have decided that unless she speaks & reads reasonable English, it's just too hard.
With Chnlove providing translation service, it attracts many who cannot use other dating websites.
Toon
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Sorry to hear that Toon man.....:(
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The communication over one month was promising but extremely frustrating... didn't think it would really lead to something lasting, although her family was already involved.
Toon
sorry to hear this as well .....
but if I understand you right ...
This breakup was the result of trouble in you and this lady communicating clearly ????
Mike
I can safely say, yes.
But adding that two days ago I said I would make a movie of my face smiling (LOL) and email it to her. Her translation implied that she thought I was going to send her the movie on a CD and post it to her.
Explaining , explaining, explaining... with repeatedly inaccurate translator output. I got so tired there was no reasonable time to do it (and convert it so she could play on computer). After 2 days she decided that I do not follow up what I said I would, showing a negative attribute and that's it.
I am sure that was not the only issue. I was getting very frustrated and pointed out to her how hard it will be unless she knows some English before I come, rather than start learning after.
I am not crying over it, just demonstrated to me that I don't think I would want to be relying on machine translations from the wedding day onwards.
Toon.
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Well...the first time I called Zhifang, she could barely say three words in English. That was in November. Today we talk regularly, and have enjoyable conversations. Sometimes we struggle, but she is learning English so fast. All I am trying to say is, be patient, as language can be learned.
In a letter to her once, I told her things would be hard...that language and culture would be different for both of us. But then I said, language is an issue that will be fixed in time...and the cultural differences will enhance our lives.
In a later letter, she said that while our language would be difficult at times, she wanted me to hang on to the words in her letters to comfort me in those time when we could not communicate.
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Toon, I am sorry to hear about this situation.
In reading your post – one thing jumped out – “how hard it will be unless she knows some English before I come, rather than start learning after.” I agree with this statement. This would be good. On the other hand, this puts the squeeze on her. What about you learning some Chinese?
Although I do not know your business, I do believe Language and culture are barriers – but if that spark is really there and love flows…..nothing can really stop love.
So maybe this one was not meant to be.
The key is what did you learn from the process?
What needs to be fixed?
Afterwards, batter-up man!
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Metooap,
In most cases it is intended that the girl comes to live in our English speaking country.
It is in her interest to know English. And know it well. Especially if contact with other Chinese people will be limited once with us. In my case, there is not a chinese female soul within 50km, that I know of (peaceful mountains here).
Sure, us learning Chinese is fun, but hardly necessary.
True, this one was not "meant to be". I was not committed in any way to her, or vice versa. Talk about marriage was based on "ifs" and "buts".
What I learned in the process? It's ok to fart in bed... in China (without apology)... LOL. No, I didn't sleep with her!
Seriously, be careful what you say in the cause of humor - she may take it seriously (and she often did). Keep your chats extremely simple. And DO NOT tell her your entire history on how many times you were married (and got taken to the cleaners)... it reflects on us, the victims. But you can't not tell her either...
Initially I told her that I was married before. As the communication progressed she assumed I was married twice before and told her family that. When asking questions, being honest, I told her they totalled 4 and gave details as to why they failed (including 3 crooked thieving Filipinas... just wait 5 years and off they go). Of course it does reflect on my poor sense of judgement (at least in part).
Despite my explanations about the Filipinas, I was judged harshly. Even though Filipinos are not very much respected in China. Better put it in your profile and you probably won't get any admirer letters... LOL.
In that respect Chinese seem no different to many other Asians in respect of making assumptions and than claiming them as truth, without seriously listening.
What needs to be fixed? Those translators... and my head :D
It's no loss, but it was another experience.
Toon
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Toon, I am smiling.
The bottom-line is it seems to me you learned a whole lot from the process.
Just a suggestion, once you have identified a woman and sparks are flying all over the place, get around the translator fast, by using personal emails, chatting directly on Skype or using your own personal translator – not a machine but a person.
If you were not committed to her – and you have been around the bin 4 times!, I do not have to tell you – you know – batter-up!
I would think about saying, "yes, I have been married 4 times, and if it takes me 100 times to find you, then that is what I will do. here I am baby, I have been waiting for you!
:)
Now batter-up!
She is out there!
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Toon, I am smiling.
The bottom-line is it seems to me you learned a whole lot from the process.
Just a suggestion, once you have identified a woman and sparks are flying all over the place, get around the translator fast, by using personal emails, chatting directly on Skype or using your own personal translator – not a machine but a person.
If you were not committed to her – and you have been around the bin 4 times!, I do not have to tell you – you know – batter-up!
I would think about saying, "yes, I have been married 4 times, and if it takes me 100 times to find you, then that is what I will do. here I am baby, I have been waiting for you!
:)
Now batter-up!
She is out there!
Thank you for the suggestion - I'll remember that! :)
With her it was messages at first, then YM and some webcam for the most part.
She translated her messages to English when sending, and I translated them in Chinese before sending. Virtually a live chat, almost real time. Got pretty experienced at it.
Now, getting a real person to translate in real-time will be a bit of a challenge... if a female, she will be extremely suspicious with her sitting next to me until and beyond midnight... LOL
I have no trouble finding ladies - I am a good looking healthy horny male (LOL)... even at 65 (now many chicks also consider that over the hill...).
With a nice place to offer, and no need for her to go to work.
Toon
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Toon,
With 4 it is obvious you have absolutely no problem in getting woman, but keeping them is another matter!
So even at your so-called advanced age - which by the way - I believe you have a tremendous advantage in most areas, you have learned some valuable information.
I was talking about getting someone other than Chnlove to translate your emails.
When we are talking about sparks, love, and all that stuff, the only thing that really matters is your heart and hers. The others stuff (good looking hunk, no need to work, nice place) adds to the equation. Seems to me, the way to make sure that number five is the last one..if that is what you want....is to look at the woman's heart and yours too.
It is in the heart man!
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Toon,
I think you may have something here.
We focus a lot here on how to find and get the love of our lives.
But once we get her then what?
I agree maybe we should ask the powers that be here to create a thread on what we need to do to keep the beautiful creature - once we have her!
After all, why spend all of that time and resources - if in the long run...she is gone-hun!
Who do we talk to about starting this type of thread around here?
It seems to me with our collective efforts (of this brotherhood) we could come up with some pretty powerful stuff!
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Guy's, no need to ask! Just start the thread and see what happens:D
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If you want to start your own thread about this it is ok. I think it would be interesting.
Maxx
Toon,
I think you may have something here.
We focus a lot here on how to find and get the love of our lives.
But once we get her then what?
I agree maybe we should ask the powers that be here to create a thread on what we need to do to keep the beautiful creature - once we have her!
After all, why spend all of that time and resources - if in the long run...she is gone-hun!
Who do we talk to about starting this type of thread around here?
It seems to me with our collective efforts (of this brotherhood) we could come up with some pretty powerful stuff!
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Does this red envelope still apply if the lady has been married before and is now divorced?
Regards Gary
The Red Envelope is the envelope given to the brides family from the groom. I was told by an elderly Chinese woman who lives here and has been teaching me some things about Chinese culture, that everything in china is about money. Even the language change to simplified Mandarin, while political was based partly in saving money. Terminology in the language itself has basis in money. I cannot think of anything in particular about that but that is what she has said. We as westerners love money but it is not the be all and end all for most of us. I have quit talking to and seeing two friends because they both asked straight out for things. One was a laptop and one was an MP4 player. These were not girlfriends just friends. We are all worried about being taken advantage of. But to them it is not such a big deal. They ask and if you say no it is ok. That is why the "Red Envelope" is such a big deal. In that, Money is not money it is face. The more money in it the more face the family has and the bride has. The higher the standing of the family the more money is supposed to be in it. Therefore in a family that has a decent standing for a second marriage should be about 30,000 to 40,000 RMB. She has told me that even if the bride says it is ok for a smaller amount it is something that may stick with her for her entire life. So think carefully about it. I am just passing this info on so maybe we can consider that when making decisions and not fly off the handle when talked about.
Also as has been said here many times the numbers 8 and 9 have great meaning. So instead of 30,000 it should be 29,999 or 28,888, 8 is love and 9 is longevity
Now the younger generation is not so hung up on it. Younger is under 30. But, she may have some pressure from her family and it could have an effect on your standing both with her and the family. Like I said I am just passing this info on, take it for what it is worth.
I would not say that everything about the Chinese culture is money, though we are very practical people!
In Mainland China, the written language is Simplified Chinese, the main spoken language is referred to as Putonghua (it is the same as Mandarin, and "Putonghua" means common language). In Hong Kong and Taiwan, the written language is Traditional Chinese, and the spoken language in Taiwan is Mandarin and in Hong Kong is Cantonese. The reason for simplifying the Chinese written language in the Mainland has NOTHING to do with money, the reason has to do with the low literacy rate after the Cultural Revolution, the government then decided to simplify the written language hoping to increase literacy.
As some of you have mentioned, the “Red Envelope” is mostly given during special occasions such as Chinese New Year, weddings, special gatherings, etc. During Chinese New Year, the elders and married couples give Red Envelopes as a sign of “good luck” to the younger people – you should NOT refuse Red Envelopes in general as you are refusing “good luck”; unmarried people usually do NOT give Red Envelopes, except to their parents as a sign of “thanks” if they are already adults. During weddings, guests give Red Envelopes to help the newlyweds with the bills since it is understood that they have to spend a lot of money during the course of marriage. As for the money (dowry) given to the Bride’s family, this is given as “thanks … for raising your wife (the daughter)” since traditionally the bride is no longer considered a member of her family, and is now “given” to the groom’s family; this amount can vary greatly, mainly depends on the finance of the groom's family, the more well off they are the more the amount – some really rich families have given the equivalent of 10’s of millions of US dollars to the bride’s families for this purpose and this is no joke! Also, unlike western culture, the groom’s family pays for ALL expenses for the process of marriage and the wedding.
Yes, some numbers have special meanings because it sounds similar; the number 8 sounds like ?, ?, or rich/prosperity and 9 sounds like ? or long/longevity.
As with most parts of the world, younger people are less traditional, in fact many of them may not even understand the imprecations behind the traditional practices, as such they are less likely to follow.
Hope this clarifies some of the myths behind the Chinese culture.
-W-
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Yes, it does. The amount of money is based on the grooms family finances. So it could be anything. The amount is less than the first wedding.
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I got this answer from Vince, as usual, and some other that it is just a matter of face.. In some parts of China you will have to give a red envelope but in other parts you don't need to give anything. It is also a thing about you, your lady and her family.. I have asked my lady before about this and she told me that I shouldn't give a red envelope. Since we are getting married in 2 months I asked her again in my last letter.. I will have to wait for this answer from her..
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Best wishes to you and your lady and Good luck with the wedding i would be interested in hearing how it goes and if you do need to give that red envelope.
Regards
Gary
I got this answer from Vince, as usual, and some other that it is just a matter of face.. In some parts of China you will have to give a red envelope but in other parts you don't need to give anything. It is also a thing about you, your lady and her family.. I have asked my lady before about this and she told me that I shouldn't give a red envelope. Since we are getting married in 2 months I asked her again in my last letter.. I will have to wait for this answer from her..
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Good question, Gary!
It is very hard to say, there is no real tradition “rule” on that! It really depends on the bride’s family, but the amount should be less to NIL.
-W-
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Just remember Peter you have to get a large red suitcase not envelope from Martin at the wedding to pay for the Dumplings ...:D
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Just remember Peter you have to get a large red suitcase not envelope from Martin at the wedding to pay for the Dumplings ...:D
Thanks a lot Norb...he doesn't need any more bright ideas!
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Gary , no Red Envelops for me . Qing's second marriage and it never came up . But as I stated before , I did give the Parent's $ 500 with a regular Gift on my second trip . On my third trip , Qings Mom gave us both 3500 yuan for the trip to Beijing . See ... everybody's happy and nobody lost Face . Also , nobody ask for any money from us and we did not get any at the wedding either .
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I gave my wife's parents 2000 rmb each. Her sister's husband picked up the tab for dinner. It was just a couple of weeks since their new years so I combined the wedding gift with the traditional yearly gift exchange.
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I think I will invite Chong too so I can get a very big Red Envelope :D
From Martin I will get one with dumplings in it :D
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When i was dateing my lady we spoke about the old red Envelope thing she told me it only a jester so it did not need to be much.
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Well.
I would like to know many things if possible.
I read this thread because it is very interesting, and, for sure, because of the red envelope.
When man maries for the first time, even a 2d time, the red envelope is always "available", so?
In my case, about Ting, if I decide to marry her (if everything would be very fine with her parents), I then should think about a red envelope to give them before the wedding so? I think that's it but if possible to "re"confirm? :blush:
About the amount, it seems that 300-500 $ could be "enough" at first? maybe 440? (as 4+4=8)
Or do you recommend me to see "higher"?
I have to save some money quickly, anyway :)
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Well, in fact, I don't really understand many things about the red enveloppe...
I have asked to a chinese man who works in Paris and who I spoke about my trip and I asked him many things, as for the red enveloppe.
In fact, I better understand now, but concerning weddings, I always have some "doubts" about the utily of the red enveloppe and who has to give it first...
Well..maybe does my brain has some difficulty to understand so many things...
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The red envelope is alive and well in my part of the world. I offered a red envelope or a honeymoon. She didnt even hesitate she wanted the envelope to Mama. So i told her no honeymoon trip. We just go back to the apt. in Beijing. It is a very very big thing with her. I really wanted to go to Hainan Sanyo too. But, I have to stand my ground also.
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i know I will have a honeymoon soon...
I stil have some honey at home... :D
'Just have to catch the moon and paint on it with some honey..
but I'm askin' myself if the taste would be good after...
:icon_arrow: if you look for me, I'm out... :D
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Honey-Moon dessert !!!
Wasn't it "Honey Moon Eh" ... :huh:
(Money Money, remix Abba) :D
****** still outside *****
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There has been a lot of talk about Red Envelopes and when they should be given. Here is my understanding of this widely discussed custom.
Red envelopes are given to the parents of an intended bride, but only if it is her first marriage. Parents of Divorced ladies, especially with children by another man, do not expect the 2nd husband to give a red envelope. But many will probably give a token gift or money...Face thing!!
Red envelopes are not expected to be given to other family members, but again small token gifts are often given.
Amounts contained in "First" marriage red envelopes ranges from very small amounts, to huge amounts of money, depending on the status (or the self presumed status) of the parents. So beware you guy's with Single ladies, get things sorted before your in too deep... hahaha!!
The above understandings, are taken from more than just a few, local men and women, during my time working in China, across 5 provinces (which included Shanghai and Biejing). I have during that time attended well over a dozen weddings, mainly of local colleague Chinese Engineers who were working on the same projects as I.
One of those weddings i attended, was of a NZ friend, that met and married a Divorced lady with a child, (around 9yrs old) Her parents, wanted nothing, they told him that, knowing that there daughter is happy and to be married, is more than they had hoped for after her divorce.
I myself, will not be expected to give any Red envelopes, when i go back to China for a ceremony early next year. Were actually getting married here in Cyprus around October time. Her parents are again happy that she is happy, and settled. She doesn't have any children by the way, her first marriage lasted just 3 months, Well , ...of them living together as man and wife anyway!! ..hahaha!!
So there you are, ...I know that these customs differ a little from province to province but not, i don't think to the extent that's been mentioned here. When asking about these red envelopes to my better half, on the postings seen here. She tends to think that the ladies are just trying to help there parents and family out. But she was quite shocked at some of the amounts being mentioned, that some of you have paid, or been asked for. But then laughed , and then said, ...if they want to pay all this money, ...it's OK, i think!! ..hahaha!!
I'm not saying the above is written in stone, but it is my understanding of the numourous personal conversations I've had with the Local Chinese on the subject....
David.....
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I have talked to at least 35 to 40 different people all either know Chinese customs, are Chinese or have been involved in this thing. I know the sum I am giving is way too much. As a matter of fact at one point I called off the wedding because of it. She of course then said I do not have to give anything. She has not asked me for one thing for herself. Even now it is all about the family. Only one red envelope. But gifts for the family, all eight of them. Not truly expensive gifts. Trust me I am not happy about it. I have asked her to one day, when her English is better, to explain it to me. (I would never ask her to tell someone else and them to explain it to me) If this is that important to her and if I love her, how can i say no. Listening to the guys who know here has convinced me of that. I just need to trust her.
Besides I am the one who put myself in this position by even bringing it up in the first place. Valuable lesson learned, let sleeping dogs lay. lol
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Jim,
I know what your saying, that was something else Lucy said to me, but was a bit difficult to explain here. But your right in what you say, she said, best not to bring things up that involves money. As then she maybe, will misunderstand you, and think that your offering money to her parents. Then the dollars sign's just start spinning in front of there eyes.... She laughed, but was still quite serious about it. The language problem can be a bigger problem than many realise. It can get you in all sorts of s**t
It's a fact unfortunately, but no matter how much you explain to some of these ladies that your not rich, or well off, ...To them "You Are," ...so they start off with figures that they think you can afford, it then comes down to negotiating, the way all Chinese are very adept at .... I'm sure you've seen that for yourself if you've been on a trip to China. hahaha!! The gifts should only be token gifts Jim, the sort of price you would spend on a gift when visiting a family member you haven't seen for sometime.
Trust is something that only comes with time, but initial trust, is all down to life experience and gut feeling ....and that may even involve a leap of faith.
Anyway I'm sure you know what your doing by now, ... Best of luck and wishes to you....
David ......
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I am not sure if I have posted anything on this subject, so here is my two pennies worth
I intend talking and asking Keren about it, think about it for a while, then DO WHAT SHE TELLS ME.....lol:angel::icon_biggrin:
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4 steps to becoming irresistible: 1) have a shower 2) spray Axe Dark Temptation 3) Never disagree with your girl 4) Reap the benefits.
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I am not sure if I have posted anything on this subject, so here is my two pennies worth
I intend talking and asking Keren about it, think about it for a while, then DO WHAT SHE TELLS ME.....lol:angel::icon_biggrin:
There's a possibility that I will be getting married later in the year. If that was to happen, I think what Rob plans to do is the right way of doing it.
I think you need to make clear to your wife that everything you have belongs to her. I am completely open with my woman about how much I earn and how much I have. If she wants to just give away a large sum to her family then I would just go along with it. It's her money as much as mine. If she hands it away to her family, then it's out of her pocket as much as mine.
When I go into my marriage I go into it with the belief that I am going to be married to her for perhaps the next forty years. I am going to really go for it. I am going to do absolutely everything I can do to make it a success. Whatever it takes. If giving money to her family makes her happy, then that's money well spent in my mind.
I've never cared about money. So long as I have roof over my head, clothes to cover my fugliness, and I have food to eat, that's enough. Anything more is just superfluous.
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Danny,
Rather you than me, that's a philosophy fraught with dangers.....
David.....
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Danny,
Rather you than me, that's a philosophy fraught with dangers.....
David.....
When we get to the end of our lives, we can compare notes, and see who made the right decision *laughs*
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Your on Danny!!...Hahahaha
Why is it people want to throw money around, .....when there's no need too????
David.....
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Your on Danny!!...Hahahaha
Why is it people want to throw money around, .....when there's no need too????
David.....
I personally think the choice is up to the individual person. They have plenty of information here to use, but in the end, it is their money to throw around if they choose.
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In my situation ... my lady's younger sister got married first and her husband gave 18,900 RMB to the parents ... so my lady told me just to match that amount. I'm fine with that. It's just $ 3,150 Cdn. And I have to give a token red envelope to the Match-Maker who introduced us ... Amount to be determined.
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Hey, Bong you are really getting that serious?
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Hey, Bong you are really getting that serious?
The red envelope topic came up during one of our many talks together. I brought up the issue. 'Serious' or not, these things need to be discussed beforehand.