China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: lfputman3 on May 31, 2011, 05:24:22 pm
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So before I returned from my previous trip which now seems ages ago, I had purchased tickets for two more trips. Ironically, after the whole break up incident, which I always seem to get dumped from the distance, I must have good puppy dog eyes. anyway, so I'm trying to figure out what to do on my next two trips when I'm on qq chatting with people and I get this strange message, "she is not worth your pain", I'm thinking naturally "WT??" as most would do.
Long story short, the zhongyi experience I had in China was actually a blessing in disguise, I remember this big argument in the clinic after I was "tested" and drank the vial of flaming body juice. Big argument, between the ladies behind the counter and my then sweetheart, now estranged friend who I somewhat chat with. Because she has a jealousy issue. Of course they argued at a very fast clip and I was lost, couple of the old ladies in the next room came over and inquired to the argument and joined in.
One of the ladies behind the counter, who administered my "test" kept giving me the eye during the exam, really difficult for me, sweet smile, beautiful eyes, perfect person to flirt with and I'm in the office with the person I'm supposed to be marrying. Well, as it turns out, the argument was about the thought of her marrying me. The old ladies really let her have it. The young lady who did the test sent me the aforementioned strange message.
That night, we talked, and talked and talked. next day nothing. We have talked every day since. She realized I was trying to decide what to do on my next two visits, inquired as to my visa type and we have really hit it off. Is it healthy to pick up so soon after a disaster like the one I had, no idea, I am no head shrinker. Do I care, I'm having quality talks in both Chinese and English and she's helping me learn more quickly. She remembers things, like family names and she likes my dog, thinks he's cute.
So we agreed, my next trip in June, because I bought the tickets and thought "refund minus fee" loss of rewards miles, ah to hell with it not doing anything else that week anyway, I'm going back to Handan. Sorry John, won't see ya there, I don't arrive til the 21st.
So I am less than 3 weeks away from a second trip, questioning my sanity to the matter, but I smile every time I see a message from her, even before I read it. Best thing, she is a bit of a smart @--, which fits with my family. If this goes well, she is going to take me to Rizhao and I will finally get a couple days in Beijing in September, with her as my guide. Oh and she studied in Beijing and unlike the last one, she's told me, "I will see you at the airport and mama want's to see you also." She also plans to put me on the plane. She is a smart cookie, just like many music students throughout the world, she does not work in her field. It's ok, she's pretty good at this zhongyi stuff and she's already promised to torture me with a cupping session.
Lloyd
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Looks like you already made up your mind. But I would have said go for it.
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Lloyd , I see no problem , she is like a lot of the ladies very switched on and the fact that you already have a good repore means things are on the up , so have a great trip , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Hey Lloyd, No i do not think it is too soon, Like you said , you already have booked so why sit around and wonder "what if", Go for it buddy and see what becomes, I leave here on the 12th June and am not to pleased about it,
Things between MinYing and myself have strengthened in leaps and bounds and i could not be happier, I have not yet come in to contact with the fortune teller yet but will let you know as soon as a date is set, Good luck mate and keep us all posted, MinYing and John.
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so we're having fun talking and she's making plans for all the things she is going to do to me, with me, I lost track. I am not certain if we are visiting a day spa or not, hot springs and massages sounded good to me, but she wants to optimize time and show me everything that I didn't see before. Which I admit, I did feel like I was getting the abbreviated tour before, the nice restaurants, but no real sightseeing. Explains a lot I believe...
anyway, she's taken to telling me I need to go to bed at night, because I will get old if I do not. ;D sure thing! interesting to hear the different things she says compared to how I was treated before, but I believe this has a lot to do with life situations.
one major change in plans, she, her mom, her friends mom are all meeting me at the airport in Beijing... and then we are going for kaoya! I like this plan, even if I am out the Beijing price of a family dinner. Who cares, it's kaoya!! Have I mentioned I like duck?
She also informed me that she, and her mother are both not from Handan, they live there. I know her grandma (laolao) is from Rizhao, which we will visit in September. So I am learning a lot from her. Vastly different from past experiences. Guess it's the difference between a woman who is interested in me and a woman who was just interested in my bank account. There was that tip off from the sweetheart on the first night.
Anyway, just keeping a fresh thread here before I board the plane, two weeks this time, I will be there. not here. not that it matters, it's hot and miserable in both towns! yeah summer, and people wonder why I like spring and fall...
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Have I mentioned I like duck?
You fowl mouth lover 8)
I like how you are handling the change and winging it - thanks for the update.
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I have found winging it to be a good approach sometimes. This morning we had a brief chat, the case for lunacy I would call it. The fact that we met briefly and for some reason she worked up the courage to procure my contact information and talk to me. The fact that I am insanely charging into this and how we both have our doubts, but yet we find reasons to go ahead with it.
The one problem I see, she does not yet feel safe, so hopefully, this trip will dismiss those thoughts. I know our mutual 'friend' who I saw on my first trip is spreading rumors about me. I am certain this does nothing for me. However, I was smart enough to and have enough forethought and experience from past evil women in my life, that I have kept copies of her letters and messages to me. For this exact purpose, as my dear friend and former professor ( a retired IRS guy) fondly says, "never mess with an accountant, we keep records."
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I love reading about experiences like this. It really is true, when one door closes, another opens. You just have to be ready to accept it. I love that you're both willing to take the chance, but you're both also realistic. The ability to see the world through open eyes and an open mind is a little rare sometimes. I'm excited for you.
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Mike, Peggy wants me to try cupping next time. She thinks it can help me with a couple of issues. Then suddenly last night she was eating chicken feet laughing while she ate them. It is funny how things begin creeping out the more you know them. No worries to borrow a phrase, I'll get back when she comes here with biscuits and gravy, cornbread hash topped off with ice cold sweet tea.
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Mike, Peggy wants me to try cupping next time. She thinks it can help me with a couple of issues. Then suddenly last night she was eating chicken feet laughing while she ate them. It is funny how things begin creeping out the more you know them. No worries to borrow a phrase, I'll get back when she comes here with biscuits and gravy, cornbread hash topped off with ice cold sweet tea.
I haven't told her yet, but should I eat anything strange, she is subject to payback, up north. I'm thinking smoked whiting, with some ramps, morels and pasties. Pasties are good anytime, morels, well, they look nasty, I'm sure once she realizes it's just a mushroom, she'll down them without question. The smoked whiting, now that's an acquired taste. I've never developed it myself.
I am not too worried about the cupping thing, my chiropractor is Chinese, from Hong Kong to be specific. Asked him he said it should be no problem and could help with my shoulder(early arthritis) and one of my hands (neuropathy).
On a very jolly note, good news on the homefront, I'm certain a few folks remember one of my problems on my first trip to China was the stress of my father's health, he did recover from the surgery but other issues were found. He went from a kidney procedure to a prostate issue and procedure. Last Wednesday, he got the all clear from the docs. They told him they'd see him next year for his now routine cancer screenings. I told him that's good, because I already told his non-tea drinking self that he will drink tea one day and he will love it on the day he does. So for now, he doesn't have an excuse.
As for me and my new friend, we have both expressed a little nervousness to one another. She told me mama is reading her the riot daily on the proper behavior of Chinese women when courting men and I have received briefings on what will get me in trouble. I still have no idea what she has all planned for me, but I have been told I do not need to bring a suit, tie or anything more formal than khakis/dockers. All goes well on this trip, I will need them on the next trip though. She has been a bit depressed the last few days, with her mama and step-father separated and headed for divorce, he told her to come and get her poodle, well, apparently she couldn't keep the poodle at their current residence and she had to give it away. This after I told her I would help her to train it. Barely a yearling, still a pup. The people that took it apparently have a 10 year old daughter, should be a good home for a poodle, provided they were honest with her.
One week from today I'll be sitting at O'Hare, waiting on the flight that carries me across the globe again. I was laughing with my mom the other day, no matter what happens in my next two trips to China, I'm gonna have some pretty good frequent flier miles racked up with United. Delta never gave me miles from that last trip, so that settles it. I have no plans to fly them again anytime soon. But they did offer me $100 off my next Delta airfare before Dec 31!?!?
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Hey!
Sorry for the susupense if anyone has been waiting. Yes, I've been here a few days. No problems with the travel or getting picked up at the airport. Mama and "Uncle" were with her, we drove from Beijing to Handan, yes, long car ride, but Uncle drives like someone from Detroit, crazy fast and passing on all sides. Got to the hotel that first night, found out my reservation was at the neighboring hotel with the same address, Mama no like, I spent the night in my reserved room, next day they moved me to a deluxe suite. I don't know if Bill Gates has 'facilities' that high tech. The damn toilet open, flushed and closed for you, even had the "washing" feature available. Stayed there one night, next morning mama drags me across to the hotel we all thought I had the reservation for. I got no complaints and I definitely like the price. I was informed that I would not be making any reservations myself in the future.
We've had a full couple days, a few dinners with mama and laolao. Mama doesn't like to let me pay for anything, not just the Chinese tradition of "I'll get it" she literally gets upset if I pull money out of my pocket. I am certain if we decide to get hitched, that'll change. Especially at the wedding shop. It is strange fighting over who is paying for the cab.
Good notes, I've been told by a few people who met me on my first trip that my Chinese is much better and they are shocked when I interrupt conversations and understand what is going on around me.
As for any details, tough, to get all hillbilly on you folks, t'ain't none a yer dang'd biz'ness! I do not spend alot of time out of her sight and quite frankly, I'm loving it. It is a shame it's raining cats and dogs, kinda ruined a couple planned outings. No, I don't have any pictures to post right now. We'll see what happens over the next couple days picture wise and then we'll see about posting some.
For now, good night, good bye and you can all rest assured, when I post some details, they will be good news details. I think mama's already planning the wedding, I know she's already talking about retirement. She said that right in front of me, to me and informed me of my duties as her son-in-law. That plan is a couple years off yet though, fortunately.
night all
Lloyd
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OK mod's. Somebody got to talk to this guy. No pictures? What else are we suppose to read? Gotta have picture to understand what we are reading.
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OK mod's. Somebody got to talk to this guy. No pictures? What else are we suppose to read? Gotta have picture to understand what we are reading.
Hahahaha nice one shaun...really funny..... ;D ;D ;D
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This isn't a Playboy mag ya know?
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They have words in those? :o ;D
Talking about Playboy I saw where Hef got left at the altar by a cutie. 25 I think. I guess she couldn't go through with it even with all of those millions. Either that or Hef's daughter told her she wouldn't get much of anything after he either got tired of her or passed.
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Nice update Lloyd . I love the Photo's you send me via PM .. great !!! :P
Sorry Shaun , only for Mod's to see .
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:o :( >:( :'(
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:o :( >:( :'(
:o ??? ::) ;) just kidding ! I'm waiting just like everybody else here for them .
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Hey Lloyd, good to see you made it there safely, C,mon, pic,s,,were all waiting to see ;D
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Lloyd, glad to read your update and that all is well , funny how things operate in the Middle Kingdom , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Ok, I tried to give an update, but she decided we needed to go out and be seen in public together. She is totally blown away by how people stare at me and how little kids react. She does however make sure she has hold of my arm and stares down any women that I believe she deems a threat. In particular any women who smile at me.
I am unfortunately back in the states. She was happy when I called as soon as I got home. I am proud to say the conversation, while short, was entirely in Chinese. Only one sentence I didn't understand and she giggled after it. So probably not a bad thing. That last night in Handan, her and mama stuffed me to the bloating point with Kaoya, beer and noodles. We went out to Long Hu Park. Before dinner, mama wanted pictures in Congtai, in particular where another picture was taken, but mama is a better photographer than the previous picture from Congtai. I'm processing the pictures to upload a couple of them for you here. She kept squinting and/or closing her eyes when I wanted to take a picture. I will also post a scan of the picture her mama insisted upon getting. I have been claimed by more than just my beautiful Si Yuan. I believe I now have a Chinese mama...
The good-bye was teary-eyed for both of us. Most of all, I cannot wait for August 26, my next trip. I cannot wait to arrive in China and find myself in her arms and gazing into her eyes again
I'm looking into a tourist visa for her here. I know the US government is looking at loosening tourist visas and I also know there are sponsor protocols for tourist visas and mama has said the wedding will be in China. So I think if the proper sponsorship information is handled, I am confident I can handle that here and mama writes a letter stating her little girl is forbidden from marriage in the states and must return home to plan her wedding in China, it should go alright. She and I both want her to meet my parents on my parents terms, that would be here. We've talked it over and Christmas, as far off as that is, seems like the best shot, because it gives us time to make the arrangements for the visa.
I will load pictures for you guys/blokes/chaps later tonight, as for now, back to the grind. I've some work to take care of.
for now
later,
Lloyd
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Great news about your trip Lloyd ,
good to hear everything in your life is good now , keep us all updated, good luck for the future Lloyd :)
regards joey+Sophia
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Wow, marriage, she must be something , Really happy for my friend, MinYing and John.
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John, yes, she is, very much so. The feeling is mutual, but we do not wish to rush in just yet. We like the idea of a spring wedding, which spring, we don't know yet.
Arnold, shame shame, poor Shaun felt so dejected by that. It's alright Shaun, nobody is seeing anything before now and here are a couple pics for you all.
As for me, I'm having a little sleep issue, so you'll forgive me, but I need some sleep.
Later
Lloyd
Oh and that phone in the last pic, almost died multiple times that day. She even agreed with me at one point. I know she kept giving the same answers and from the tone, it wasn't mama she was talking to...
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Thanks Lloyd , wonderful Photo's and equally Lady you have there .
Which Spring :-\ ? You know 2012 is coming , you don't have much time :o !
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Great picture Lloyd even if we had to wait. ;D The two of you look great together.
Yes the mods like to torment us every now and then. But then again, I find a way to get back.
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Yes the mods like to torment us every now and then.
Yeah ... but only when it's slow around here . We pick names out of a Hat to see who'll we do it to . 8)
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Arnold. That doesn't really work very well when there is only one name in the hat. :o
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thanks for the compliments, we both appreciate them. yes she is something, which spring, we haven't decided yet. but we agreed a spring wedding sounds wonderful and I don't think mama care's which spring. granted my own mother was a little upset when she heard that mama was introducing me that last night as her son.
I thought that was a pretty good sign actually, but hey, what do I know? I am certain my parents will adore her, she knows to win my mom over is going to be a chore and she knows that my dad doesn't care for "Chinese" food, but his definition of Chinese food is some of the more less appetizing vietnamese cuisine and the standard american mall style chinese.
She just told me to go to bed and get some sleep. So I will listen to her, because I'll get her back when I'm there.
Again thank you all,
Lloyd
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Lloyd , you know it's strange to see the Shoe on the other foot in your Mom's case . Your Lady having to win over "YOUR" Parent's . About the Chinese Food , I have many Friends that really don't like it much if at all . Anyway , looking forward to be enjoying your Wedding Day .. whenever it arrives .
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my parents are won over by two things, time and loyalty. Something that other women in the past never seemed to comprehend. Ultimately when they see us happy, together, they won't try to argue. But she still has to cook for mom, like me, she does like real Asian food. Dad, just want's to be certain she's cute and good to me. I've warned her she gets about three days around him before he stops being polite and a week after meeting, she is expected to act like a member of the family. Grandpa was the same way, except he cop a feel when he'd hug mom. Dirty old Indian that he was.
I think she will be fine, but I get no blessing from my parents until they physically meet her.
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Good news and Bad news.
Ok, well, we've come to a conclusion. We cannot stand being apart. Our qq log is a little over 500 pages long, it was only 200 pages long when I returned from Handan on this recent trip.
My mom is annoyed that her mom is calling me her son. I told her she would have to get over it, because I have not found a title for son-in-law, which I kind of like that fact.
Her grandma is the best-est of buddies with the little charmer I originally went over there for. She wishes her granddaughter would listen to the fortune teller and wait until she is in her 50s to marry. However, the fortune teller has apparently decreed grandma and the aforementioned "charmer" as being "elegant" people. I got a bad vibe from grandma the first time I met her, I've since found out her grandmother is as bad as my grandmother (paternal) who pretty spent much of her adult life at the bar and when grandpa was driving OTR for the lumber companies, she was spending his paycheck, well, guess where. Plus there's the fact that one of my aunt's is only my aunt b/c dearest grandmother gave birth to her. b/c she is not grandpa's kid. She doesn't like that fact that us nephews and nieces know this, or that ever her own daughter knows.
The bad news, we've had all this happiness and blissful chatting the last few weeks and this morning, mama got served the notice that their block, businesses and residential are on the demolition block in the next few months. I'm thinking to myself, this is late 70s-mid 80s era construction, not typical Maoist and definitely not pre-revolution. Not a ghetto, definitely not an ugly neighborhood by Chinese city standards. It's just, well, rather plain and gray. So, WTF! I'm thinking, wow, that violates alot of eviction laws in most countries, but I know I also do not have a remote grasp on the theories of imminent domain in China. They know they will receive some compensation, but they do not know how much or when, only that they are being told to move out before the end of August.
So the good news is well, if you didn't guess, by now. Yes, we are gonna go for it. Have to do all those lovely formalities and redtape and other crap, then start on the next load of redtape and crap (her visa). I have to check on licensing requirements for her. Turns out she meets certification requirements for cupping and acupuncture in China. Which if I remember correctly, in Michigan she meets requirements for licensing, b/c most of our acupuncture and cupping practitioners (12/15 registered) came from China with no stop in Frisco, or Columbus, GA at the schools there. I'll find out, have shot an email out to the lawyer, yes this vet is using a lawyer. Accountant, not lawyer, it's called professional courtesy and respect. And I do not trust government people even thought they owe me their job.
I will keep you posted, for now, it's what I can do here and then I'm off to be with her on August 26, for a month! WooHoo!
Lloyd
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Lloyd isn't it kind of funny how much you become attached to them after such a short time together.I've ben down this rd.And I have probably read a couple of thousand stories of guys.Who have ben down this Rd.And it is the same for all of us.They just kind of suck you in.And you are hooked for life.It has got to be something to do with there smile or there laugh.Or maybe there whole being.Or maybe they are all agents for the Chinese government.Planning to take over the world one western guy at a time.And they have special training.To do just that.Either way it is a hell of a ride.And I would jump on again.Just for the thrill of the whole thing. Good luck and best wishes for a speedy visa process.
If there planning to tear down your fiancee mother house.This is going to be a good show with allot of threats and posturing.You may evin get to join the fun.Just to scare the hell out of a government lackey and his bully boys.The JiuJiang city government started this with my mother in law.About 6 months ago.They came to the door and asked my sister in law who owned the house.My sister in law told the government lackey.That her sister owned the house.And that she was married to a foreign or living in America.2 weeks latter they came back.And said they wanted to talk to my wife.The government lackey told my sister in law that they had a new house.For my wife.So my mother in law.Goes and checks the place out.The new house is a empty field.Out in the middle of nowhere Mom blows a gasket.And starts hollering at the city lackey.
about a week after this the government starts tearing down the houses around moms house.The neighbors are out hollering and screaming at the demolition guys.But it doesn't matter.So some of them take the deal and run.Not my mom she bars the door.And gets a big stick.Demo guys won't come close to moms house.Rumor has spread threw the neighbor hood that foreign son is coming and he is very angry.
So the first thing we do when we arrive in JiuJiang China is go down.To the city government buildings.And I intimidate the hell out of the government lackey.And 3 of his bully boys.After that they fix the damage to the house.That is bellow moms house.And they Start acting more cautious.They don't show up when they think I'm around.Or when my wife is there.My wife stayed a couple of months after I left.And she went down to the government offices every other day.And made there lives miserable
From what I understand on how it works.You buy the house.And you can own the house for 99 years.After that time the house goes back to the government.Unless for some reason the City government wants the land the house is on.Before the 99 years are up.Then they can come in and just take your house.And throw you in the street.
Chinese law is written that if the government wants your house.You must give it to them.The government in turn will give you a new house.Or a better house.Or give you enough money to buy a house that was the same as the one that they took.In my mother in laws case.They offered her a new house that wasn't built yet.And they had no plans to start building for another year.
So the negotiations are still going on.So far they locked my mother in law in a empty house and wouldn't let her out.For a couple of hours.They sent a woman to beat up my mother in law.Mom put a serious hurting on the woman.They beat one of the neighbors so bad he was pissing blood.They sent a guy to disconnect the power to the houses.My father in law and one of the neighbors chased the guy down the street.They beat the day lights out of the guy.Mom and dad and the neighbors that stayed.Put a 8 foot gate up.And locked it.Now you can only walk threw a little opening.Somebody watches the gate at all hours of the day and night.They caught a guy the other night trying to climb over the gate.They chased him off.
The government is coming with a new offer.They are offering a 1000 Rmb more.To buy new houses.Unfortunately what the government lackey's are offering won't come close to buying a descent home to live in.The 1,000 Rmb is just a slap in the face.So Nobody has taken the new offer.The place down the street from my mom's.Went threw this a couple of years ago.They all got new houses.In the same place they lived before.My wife told me those people held out for over a year.Before the government caved in.so my mother in law and the neighbors have set in for the long haul.
Hopefully your girl's mom won't have to go threw this.But I think she will.It will get rough and ugly before it is over with.Tell your girls mother to hang in there.And make sure the government treats her right.And you may have to show your face a couple of times.It shows your girls mother some face.It also shows the city government.That a foreigner is watching.And they don't want to loose there face.Or have there city government slammed all over the enternet.Beijing really frowns on this kind of thing because it shows the government in a bad light.
There is a word for son in law. it sounds like neiw shia.My wife says it is spelled NVXU.I don't know I'm just writing what she is telling me.Good luck and best wishes.
Maxx
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It's the wild wild East? :o
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Maxx,
thanx for the tip, I've passed part of it along. Even worse, I know people here stateside to call, media type people, what a shame.
I guess mama has already talked with a couple of the neighbors, apparently the money is right, the problem is, there is no space in Handan right now, guess they will have to wait it out.
Lloyd
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well, it was bound to happen. always is, at some point in a relationship, you have to have a first fight. It's ongoing, yes, it was a misunderstanding. Now I have to deal with one of her friends screaming that we shouldn't be together, it's a mistake, blah, blah, blah. This friend happens to be the only other woman in her social circle, besides her divorced aunt and grandmother, who is not currently married. which wreaks of jealousy to me.
long story short, I asked about the marriage gift (dowry) for her parent (mom). apparently I was not supposed to do this...???
Some confusion ensued and now I'm trying to get her to tell me what is wrong. I confessed to being a dumb ass, for being wrong in the first place, but now just trying to get by the cloud. I know part of my problem, I was, more or less, left at the alter before. Several years back, but let's be honest, some psychological issues have a habit at playing with us. I'm trying to work past the self-destructive part of the relationship now, because I know I want to be with her and her alone and I just don't want to screw this up.
we have had the cool off period and sent one another messages, which say we are still moving forward. but I'm still getting a bit of the cold shoulder. I'm guessing I'll go with just getting status updates and do my best to make her laugh, but right now, she doesn't want to give me any face time on video chat. probably because I know how to make her laugh and that would just spoil the being angry and I do understand that occassionally, as human beings, we just want to be angry for the moment...
:(
Lloyd
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Lloyd , slowly , slowly , does catch the fish , whilst all accountants like to have their ducks in a row , you will find out that lovely Chinese women mostly work minute after minute , but if you are lucky you might be lucky to upgrade to hour by hour , looking back I could not see how old your intended is , but it is not a marriage gift or dowry , it is a red envelope quietly given to the Mother in this case after very private discussions with your bride to be , the only 2 people who should know what is in the Red envelope are the 2 of you and depending who was around the computer or ? when you asked this it may have caused some embarrassment , whether it is her 1st marriage or ? and post marriage arrangements for the mother .
These type of discussions are hard long distance and it is very hard to know what is in her mind like she thinking 888 U.S. dollars you thinking 8888 U.S dollars and the silly girlfriend thinking 88888 U.S. dollars , I trust you get my drift , have a read of Rhonalds blog it may help you and other will no doubt also drop a wise word in , but relax and look forward to the 26th of August , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Thank you Robert, one of the major side issues has shown itself "friends" the single type who are of course jealous, grandmother is pushing on a couple of them. Ironically, with the eviction, grandmother has to move back to Rizhao, because the apartment they are moving to, doesn't have room. Besides, her son lives in Rizhao and listening to Yuan and mama, they have not much use for mama's brother.
The friends are definitely a problem, I've talked to two people, I'm fairly certain the one is gay, and he supports Yuan and I and the other is the only other English speaking friend, this 20 year old and a gay guy are my defense. Mama, I know is pulling for me, but I have a bunch of people telling her how miserable she will be. Even though I've already told her I am moving from Owosso, to Lansing. Because Owosso, while being the home of James Oliver Curwood and Friederich Frieseke, has degraded into a haven of rednecks, white trash and welfare scum. Throw in a couple peddlers come in from Detroit and it's not worth staying. Besides Lansing has a decent Asian population, with the University that of course includes quite a few Chinese as well. Additionally, they have better stores and markets. I was looking at that move anyway.
I will need to know where to locate Rhonald's blog and it is her 1st marriage, as well as mine. I was a couple months from it before with the traditional western planning system. Now I'm weeks away and we've hit the cold feet snag which any Buddhist monk or Hindu spiritualist would be proud of me, because I am feeling that fear, but I know that I have chosen this path and I am committed to it.
Again Thank you, I will resume my calm casual demeanor for dealing with these "friends" who do not want to meet me. That should say something to me, not even willing to give me the chance.
Lloyd
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Lloyd
It does seem to be typical that our Chinese Lovelies get a "crisis of confidence" somewhere along the track to marriage with a foreigner, especially after it gets to the serious stage and the actual marriage and move to another Country becomes a certainty, not a possibility.
There are always some elements within the circle of family and friends who try to torpedo the relationship...fear ? jealousy? envy or maybe genuine concern ?? Either way it seems to happen.
In my own case, Ming got a lot of pressure from a family member and her Buddhist Priest about our disparate religious beliefs and even got her believing the relationship would not work. I got the"frosties" and lack of contact as a result.
After getting some advice here...I jumped on a plane and confronted it all on the spot and demolished all the arguements against us.
I think mostly that these issues go away when you get face to face, because then you both get the re-inforcement that you are meant for each other, and that together you can overcome any problems.
At long range, the forces working against you get all the air time !!!!
Hang in there, once you meet together again, sanity will prevail
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Thanks David,
Just stopped by the shop of a friend here in our major metropolis. He and I both having been in the military around the same time and having worked with each other's respective units, just never with the other. We have a nice communicative relationship when the sh*t appears to be hitting the fan. We talked about it, he runs a comic/game shop and some of his clientele were very quick to point out their disasters and how they can't seem to get past the same point and one told me I'm his hero, we (5 people) told him where to take his perversions. It wasn't Asia BTW, and then my friend and I discussed what appears to be going on. Unfortunately for those trying to torpedo Yuan and I, she is not the first Asian girl I have dated in Asia. I was in Korea and some of the tricks are not dissimilar. In fact, some of the tricks, jealousies and general ego behavior is visible in virtually every culture I have encountered in my life.
I know when I arrive in China, it will be ok. I know I have mama's support, that's more important than any of her friends when it comes to China, especially considering the father is nowhere in the picture let alone the province and neither Yuan or mama give a care about what grandmother has to say, they just want her to return to mama's brother who is supposed to be the amazing superstar businessman. Who sounds as broke as an American College Freshman two months into a Frat membership.
I'm going to keep my head. If something appears amiss, I will calmly deal with the issue and I will continue to tell her every day (multiple times) that I love her. Otherwise she will begin to doubt things. I think I also found a better deal on a lawyer, he's a friend, former college professor for my law classes and tax attorney, general attorney at law, but we've talked a little about it and he stated for me being a vet, he'd consider an extremely fair rate, because it would take him less than an hour to fill out the paperwork and as Maxx so fondly points out, us vets have little trouble in getting our wives into the States. However, I am an accountant, not a lawyer. I stick to the stuff I know.
So I will get back to my thing and work and such and keep working on her and then when the 26th gets here. Well, let's just say by the time the lights go out on the 27th I think it will all be ok again.
Lloyd
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Happy days, I got her laughing and smiling!
Take that jealous b*tches!
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;D ;D :) :) .. ??? .. wow worked on me too !
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Great to hear Lloyd. Glad you are past it now.
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I am glad to know that too. So we're discussing a few things and a question came up, she wants to take my name in marriage. Um... they do that at the office when we get the certificate, or ???? I'm kinda dumb on that one.
She also cringed when she found out about the vaccinations, but I told her I would go with her for that. We both hate needles, joy!
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... and another round of cold feet. Biggest thing I am now hearing is, "afraid we might make mistake"
how does one describe which is more of a psychological problem, a mistake or the regret from not taking the chance, which could be the best thing that could happen, regardless of the fact that all married couples have problems?
BTW, she went to the movies with her friends, they saw Transformers 3 and I know two of these charming individuals are trying to convince her that she is going to get raped, mugged and murdered in the driveway.
I do not live in the D, no offense intended Kev...
Biggest problem is we are good for a day or two then we have a day or two of me repeating all the reasoning over again. I think it's totally cold feet, she's also afraid of not having any friends or being able to speak with anyone. Which, she wants to speak English, but when I try to get her to speak in English, she gets bashful. We do have Chinese people in Michigan and ironically a good share of them speak proper "mandarin," I know it's actually 普通话 (putonghua) not a fruit. I also know mama is still supporting me. Which means, it's cold feet and bad logic. Granted, I know logic and emotion do not coexist well. Kinda like my IFB older brother and my liberal muslim friends. ::) oh that is so much fun to avoid.
Lloyd
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Lloyd, those are all real issues. Uprooting is a big pill to swallow. Here are a few things I have done. Some have worked real well and some not so well. The biggest one is finding Chinese women who lives in the US, that are married to American men, who are enjoying their life here and getting them to begin talking to each other on QQ. I found one woman here locally who has been a big help and they talk to each other about once a month since it is on cell phone. The other has happened recently and they talk on QQ quite a bit.
Peggy has had some of the same issues that you speak of. Many of her friend don't want to see her leave. There is also jealousy at play sometimes. You have to spend time building confidence in her that you are OK and that takes a lot of time. Peggy and I are almost 2 years into this and she still tells me to remember that I should not look at another woman.
So try to be a calming effect on her without talking down to her (not saying you don't) and assure her that you will always be there to take care of and protect her. It eventually begins sink in and things get better.
Don't take any of it personal just remember that this is a huge step for her and all of her support system will be half way around the world.
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Lloyd,
Can I make a suggestion? I'm not exactly sure of where Lansing is (from google maps, it looks like it's about an hour out of Detroit), but once she is here, take her to Detroit/Windsor's chinatown at least once a month... or if you feel adventurous (maybe on a weekend), bring her to Toronto Lots of chinese here to keep her grounded.
And with QQ and skype and MSN and whatnot, she can keep in touch with her friends and family relatively easy...
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Shaun, I am working overtime on the reassurance. while she sleeps, I sneak in some time during my afternoon to write her. Little love notes, messages of encouragement and my belief that heaven put me on the path to me her. While claiming to not be a spiritual person, she admires that view. most mornings (evenings here) she seems happy, it's after she goes through a couple days of the jealousy and people telling her she won't have any friends. I am trying to find someone local with Chinese wife, but as I currently live in Owosso, most of the Asian wives here are either married to another Asian or they are Korean or Phillipino, aside from Vietnamese family that runs the "Fortune House Chinese Restaurant" downtown, bit of a joke really, mall Chinese food that reeks of too much nak phlam, or the two Chinese families that own the other two Chinese Buffets. Lansing is a more diverse area and I'm starting to reacquaint myself with some folks there. I've been out of the social net there for a couple years now after having lived up here. Two of my old clients when I worked sales while attending MSU have closed up shop and retired. However they remember me, like me and are going to help me and Yuan to negotiate the obstacles to open a business in East Lansing, next to the campus.
Must, yes, I planned on the China town trips, figured Chicago and TO would be the best two. I don't know Windsor, I always shot across to Sarnia and drove across, but I was at Ft. Drum when I was in the army. Living west of Flint, kinda made it easy to just shoot over that way instead of going across in the D. Typically anymore, I only go to the D to hit Bass Pro in Auburn Hills, the airport, or for Hockey.
I know exactly how to get to China town in Chicago, not hard, when the Ryan hooks left, you exit straight and "tada" it's China town. I've also told her we would take some trips down there anyway.
For now, she just told me she's going shopping, but not what for. Being evasive... hmmm..... She also said something about we have one month. Yeah, I like she, am painfully aware of that.
Yes, I did manage to calm her again. I will keep up the work until I sack out for the night and start again in the morning.
Lloyd
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Took Sarnia back to Toronto before...never again in the dark....having to cut the speed because you never know when deer will come charging between there and London is not my idea of travelling.
Only catch is that if you go to either, you need to make it a weekend trip (4 hours to Toronto...maybe ... 7 hours to Chicago?)... good if you're planning on stocking up...
If you do decide to make a trip to Toronto, let us know... a bunch of us live here... doesn't hurt to get another meet going.
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I would definitely let you know when I was headed in your direction. As for the deer on the 402,eh, look at that google map again, I'm in the middle of the corn fields out here. I'm used to deer. Now when I'm up north, it's the Elk and Moose that frighten me. That's a bad night
We've been dealing with all of her phobias and the rumors that her "friends" are spinning to her. The domestic violence one is the most hilarious to me. I've already told her about my mother's take on any thought of domestic violence that she educated all of her sons on. So she knows I'm not going to raise a hand to her, because I want to have a very long happy life with her and my mother would shorten it, if I did harm her.
Most of it is stories about how much crime we have here. How I am obviously lying to her and I'm after her money?, that's a different one for me. Now we are down to the rational things that I'm guessing all couples deal with. Moving, possibility of kids, the fear over this sort of committment. Very rational to me too, because, this is the closest I have been to the actual fact of being married.
So now I will return to my terrified bride to be, as I know I am feeling some of those little butterflies also. I think I like the system they have in China, it seems kind of like eloping here in the states, go to courthouse (or other official place in this case) get the paper, present the evidence, say "you betcha I do" and go home. With details on the ceremony to follow.
I'm off again, wish me luck in keeping the two of us on the same side of crazy
Lloyd
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We are counting down the days!! WooHoo. August 27 I land in Beijing once again. I intend to have my beautiful Yuan in my arms again that night. However, some problems have arisen that I must work around.
So it's obnoxiously official, she can't make it to the airport, I have another posting on another thread regarding my joyous fun filled adventures that are ensuing there. A couple of her friends are really working hard at trying to sway her, but I keep pulling her back my way. If I'm winning this good from this side of the globe, that "friend" is in deep when I get off the train.
Train's are my other issue, anyone have experience with train ticket booking agencies. I think I am going to be requesting a refund from an agency. Again See other thread. Apparently I am insane in wanting to not spend the night in Beijing and should therefore stay a couple hours longer, take the last 4 hour train instead of the last 3 hour train... :o
I am going to need some help from the tech guys though. My girl went to school for music, so she is a Mac girl, that's fine, while I was at Mich. State, I worked for a computer retailer and love selling Mac's, because I got fat bonuses and they are exceptionally stable computers, being in the world of accounting though, I cannot justify one for my desk... Not when all the major accounting programs are Windows based. The tech issue that has arisen... New apartment, new internet connection and she has no idea how to connect her Macbook in the new apartment.
For the questioning doubting Thomas types out there, I paid for neither the new apartment (that is mama's), or the Macbook (she bought herself) I think she's holding out on me, but that's ok. She can handle the check book, but she knows I still process the taxes each year.
So someone, please help, when I worked tech sales, I sold people the tech services, I didn't do it. However I do still understand geek.
Thank you in advance for any and all assistance rendered,
Lloyd
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Lloyd,
A suggestion for you... don't make your lady's friends look bad. Yes, they might be trying to tear you two apart, but make them look bad and it could reflect badly on you.
If she can show you off as a great guy and that they were all wrong, the looks on their faces will be satisfaction enough for you...
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Lloyd, Connecting a Macbook is easier then a PC. What service is it? DSL? WiFi?
I know what you mean about the accounting programs. I use to have a PC next to my Mac to do accounting.
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Mustfocus, thank you, I will do my best and try keep a level head when they are talking about the evil things that happen here state side.
Vince, it's a China Unicom DSL line, she says she has an adapter of some type, but without video feed I can't see what type of adapter.
Thanks
Lloyd
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Adapter? The only adapter needed is if she is hooking up an external screen? I have a 22", and wireless DSL but I could have a Ethernet Cable instead of wireless.
Plug in's on the side, in order:
Power plug
Ethernet cable
Phone plug
USB (2)
Ext. Screen
Mic
Speaker
I have a MacBook Pro but I believe the plugs are the same. Once hooked up, it reads the service puts all the numbers in where needed. Open your browser and your online.
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Putting some thought into this... If her apartment is already wired for DSL then she just needs a Ethernet cable. If she has a modem maybe it's a USB? Ask if there's a modem?
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Thanks Vince, I'll talk to her about it in the morning, and she has a MacBook Pro, only went with the 13.3 screen. Something about my Toshiba screen was big enough to her, and mine is a 13.3. That's ok, small notebook, wait until she sees the printers I use. Not that someone in my field contributes to deforestation at all...
Lloyd
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So I am beginning to understand how frustrating the "cold feet" issue can be. I love her and she is worth every last second I spend talking through any problem. The biggest thing I'm beginning to see is these same couple people attacking me and attacking the distance between us. On my girl's qzone I have yet to see this one person ever post anything that isn't nasty. I went back through her logs a ways, this person sucks. She has some crappy quality "friends" As advised before, I am not addressing that issue, I'm stepping around it. It's like road apples on that peaceful walk down a country road.
She knows that I see where her issues are coming from. Some of it is basic psychology and part of it was having to babysit the misfits under me in my army days. I've watched her on camera when she realizes that I know what I am saying. She says she doesn't understand why we are drawn together, because I am always learning new things, uh, accountant, updates, yeah, not an option, classes/conferences a couple times a year are common and I'm working towards a higher degree on the side. Why? I don't know, because I'm sick like that. I also pointed out, I am learning Chinese and Chinese culture for her. I am improving my professional education for us and our future together and I am diligently working toward other business goals that are her ideas and I am not going to make money from her ideas without her being there to enjoy it.
If anyone is wondering, yes, there is a certain daddy issue tied to that psychology thing, Two Han parents mid-80s and I will not be meeting dad because they have no idea where he is. enough said there. Her mama is going through her second divorce, he's the classy stereotype, wine, women and song and never gave my girl the time of day while he was married to mama and then forced her to get rid of her dog. As a dog lover/owner, you can guess my feelings there.
I am almost positive I am going to have at least one more bout with the doubt caused by the jealous and insane "freinds" but they forget I am older and more experienced than them. She has realized, neither of us is actually mature though. ;D We enjoy being together because we both enjoy the theory that one should find the fun in life. Not bury in self pity. which it's nice to be able to pull her out of that trap every time so far.
Less than three weeks to go, I will be there and I think we are going to make the trip to Shijiazhuang within that first week. I'm getting sick of people screwing with her head and most of them will quit when we do that. Especially now that her grandmother is aware that my parents are coming up on 45 years, my grandparents stood by 'til death do us' and so did my great grandparents, most of whom made it into their 90s. So it's a serious thing in my family. Even if I am a screwball! So's dad, so was grandpa, it's a proud Peter Pan tradition we have in our clan!
I'm sure one day Yuan and I will have a teenager who will "mom, dad puhlease stop, you're embarrassing me!"
Lloyd
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Down to two weeks, we talk everyday, we have panic attacks and listen to the stories her friends concoct to sway her from the path of marrying a westerner. I though everyone should hear the latest one. China and the United States are going to war, soon even...
I have had to approach this one using a lot of simple logic and my knowledge of Sun Tzu, thank god I remember part of those works. I'm going to have to reread them. This "friend" is a bit of a nutjob and if they want to play "war" I love strategy games. The basic logic I applied, if the US and China go to war, who is buying what? As we would no longer trade with one another. Thus collapsing the global economy and we all know the UN would never allow our two nations to do such a thing without the rest of the world intervening.
She is taunting me heavily, she says were going to Shijiazhuang, then she says we are not going. I believe we are going, I'm just not sure of the day. I have found out grandma told the agency in Handan that she and I are talking about doing the paperwork and they had no idea, so they contacted me. I'm trying to ignore it, because I know she doesn't want them involved, but grandma is being a stinker and they know at the agency that Yuan pulled her profile. That kinda tells them that she is up to something with somebody, they just don't know who.
As I said, two weeks until I am back there. John, I'm looking forward to some other crazy person while I am there. Although I'm going to have to stay on a short leash so I can bark at the insane friend spouting the old school "Maoist" rhetoric.
Until next update.
Lloyd
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Lloyd , a simple fact is that whilst as an accountant you might like all your ducks neatly in a row , you will find that with a lovely Chinese lady by your side like it or not things will change minute by minute , or at least every 5 minutes ha ha , this is what they are used to , they go with the flow and as their other half it is much easier to agree and keep the goal posts in view . This is possibly why they are so clever most of the time in business along with the fact that their minds work 24/7 , if I need an answer at 11pm Shenyang time on a Sunday , Sujuan will make a couple of phone calls and the answer is delivered , try that in the Western world .
Once you arrive then you will know where you are heading to and when ::) , just keep your chats simple and hope that the next 2 weeks passes rapidly , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Thank you Robert, yes, we (accounting folk) like our ducks lined up, I'm fond of roasting them after they line up myself. I know she is going to always keep me guessing, she does that extremely well as it is.
My joy is that each time someone (claiming to be her friend) visits my Qzone page, I spend three days in hell. Oh, I just started another round of it and I'm off to work in Brooklyn at the races this weekend. She asked me why I go to work there, as it's not an accounting job. Well, it's probably my last year doing it, I guess it's like the teachers that take odd jobs in the summer. I go to the race track, work as a bartender in the suites during the big races and typically pull down $1K in tips, it's probably my year, because they've gone to "tabbing" our tips for reporting purposes, which means the suite lessee must make the bulk tip on official paperwork, preventing me from seeing that chunk for 6 weeks. That's enough of that crap, there's a reason why we tell people who receive tips to "claim something, but I am not asking for an exact amount" because we all know bartenders, waitresses and other "tip" positions make a lot of money that goes undeclared, why, so they don't pay the tax and the IRS doesn't really care, as long as they claimed "something".
So I'm hoping to let things cool over night, I know I'm worked up, I don't know what the hell brought the latest bought on, but I know the person has a block on their page. I think it's time I learned to block my page as well.
who knows, crossing my fingers again, especially considering I'm going to be there in less than two weeks and mama wants me staying at the apartment.
Lloyd
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You had me confused there a minute when you wrote Brooklyn. "Brooklyn, (NY)? there's no racetrack in Brooklyn?" but I kind of remember there is one in the mid-west. Is this the one you meant?
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I was thinking Watkins Glen when he said Brooklyn but google maps tells me differently.
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Figure 8 race. Hmmm... That might be interesting. Never been to one of those. Right now I am trying to figure out how to get Peggy to car race once I get her here. I'm close to Atlanta Motor Speedway and Charlotte or Lowe's Motor Speedway. How am I going to explain the price of the tickets just to watch cars go around in a circle and wreck. We might make it to one race but I bet we leave shortly after the first pile up. She won't like the noise even with ear plugs. The smell of fuel and the hard bleachers. She will tell me how unhealthy all of this is and want to go home. Then I'll have to explain that there is no refund for the tickets if you leave early.
Good grief. I just realized that I will have to explain drunk red necks to her. I think maybe a 60" big screen television might be an easier sell. I can see it now.... :-X
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I don't think there are any Auto race tracks left in the lower NY State area. In my younger days.... ::) they were all over the place. There was the illegal track as well. A little road right in front of JFK Airport and Friday or Saturday nights race cars towed in came off the trailers did a run and put back on. BIG $$$$ went down on the betting. Couldn't do it these days. The only tracks left over there are Belmont and Aqueduct (Horse racing). :-\
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Ah, yeah, guys, I'm talking about Brooklyn, Michigan. The Irish Hills, it is a Super Speedway and it is a Nascar weekend. Sorry about the confusion, but if it's any consolation, the same company owns both the track in NY and the track here in Michigan. Oh Shaun, try to get Suite passes at either track. She won't mind the suites, but if you get someone to let you into the Pit Suites, forget ever going back to the races again. Unless you are doing exceptionally well with your business, I do not recommend attempting to rent one of those suites on your own. I know here the small suites (15 person) run about $10k for the weekend. The company I work for are dumping in excess of $25k each race, but they bring in potential clients and are becoming an RCR partner-sponsor. However the best thing about the Pit Suites, is by far, people watching the pit pre-race. OMG the people watching is unreal, I cannot even begin to describe what you see, other than to ask, have you ever seen the website "people of wal-mart"?
Me and dad have been talking about actually in the future renting one of the Pit Suites for the family on the lesser Nascar weekend, my oldest nephew is a Nascar Junkie, but has some 'social' problems that my darling brother refuses to acknowledge, which would make it not practical to have him in the stands. Whereas in the Pit Suites, kids have meltdowns and pass out from over-stimulation all the time.
Our 'friend' issues appear handled once and for all, apparently some telling off happened, I witnessed one event while we were doing the daily video chat on QQ and I am pretty sure she used the big nasty terms. I know she told the person what they could "do" to their grandparents (ouch) which I know is a nasty Beijing-nese insult.
For now, back to the grind, have to finish up the week so I can get everything around for the weekend. She and I are both stressed at the moment. Stressed from being apart, having only a few more days until we are together again. I am under work stress, apparently they are clearing out the shop, because of the demolition notice, which puts stress on them. Then there is just general insanity setting in. Here's hoping we can cure most of the stress with a simple train ride to Shijiazhuang...
Lloyd
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Okay, it's the morning after Brooklyn, in the Irish Hills of Southern Michigan. Just for you folks that enjoy racing, a couple shots of my view so we can settle this location thing...
I actually get a great view of turns 3 & 4, but not view of Turn 2, which is where almost all the action occurred, except for that little pit row incident that Ambrose got, to the Aussies, I believe he would be justified in giving someone else a nudge on the track next week. Especially after Montreal on Saturday. The guy finally wins one and everybody thinks it's time to bump him around??? WTH?
As for my love life, laolao is meddlesome, terribly meddlesome. She's been talking with the Agency and because my previous experience included comments about when I would be arriving on August 27, airplane times anyway, they don't know anything about the train. we exchanged four letters through the agency and I got her old address from the Agency, but we have been doing all of our communication through QQ and on occasion I like to remind her it costs me nothing to call her from home, because I use vonage world service.
So I have the following question, which I am certain I have read the answer, but I want to verify the question of financial obligations to the Agency office when they are not really in the loop. Just laolao being cranky because her daughter and granddaughter have cut her off from their lives as much as they can. There's a little bad blood and mama has made comments more than once about the fact that her brother has a job and a house and is the oldest child and therefore responsible for laolao's well being in her hometown of Rizhou... I am almost positive who my answer is going to come from, but I'm going to ask anyway, so I can verify.
At the time my contact information was given to laolao (which makes me question her motives) which she then gave to Yuan, allowing Yuan the opportunity to muster her guts and contact me. Which I still remember what she was wearing the day I met her and I was dating someone else! Oh the irony! Not part of the question or concern in subject. When my information was given by the agency, my profile was "hidden" I was not seeking contact through agency channels but for some reason they gave it anyway. My questioning laolao's motives is due to the fact that she considers that lying little witch I visited on my first trip to be her "daughter" also given the issues laolao has created for Yuan and her mama, I think I have a valid reason for questioning laolao. The agency should have figured out months ago when Yuan pulled her profile that something was up in her life. Apparently laolao is trying to badger Yuan into going to the agency without me, if she goes at all. So the big question after all this lead up. "Being that my profile was hidden when they gave out 'my information' and being that I have not sent any arrival information to to Yuan using the agency, is she required to give them any money at all? I ask because the charming folks at the agency have contacted her and said we cannot marry if they do not receive money for their services.
With that question posted for clarity purposes, here's a couple shots of where I spend the races in Brooklyn, Michigan....
first pic, why I 'work' for my seat, my seat cost's my 'client' $25k per weekend...
second pic, just before 7 am outside the pits, those are the crews...
third pic, turn 4
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The Agency has absolutely ZERO say or control as to whom she marries.....period.
The Agency may, repeat may have a contract with her that she signed on initial registration. This "Contract" if it exists may well have a clause about fees that are due and payable if and when she marries a Lao Wei.
Whether such a Contract (if it exists) is enforceable at Chinese Law depends on many things....primarily if the said Agency actually is licensed to operate International Introductions...most are not and the demand for money is a bluff. Once you call that bluff, the issue disappears.
Whether or not, your Lady feels an obligation to pay them some "success" money is up to you and her.
How you both deal with bad minded, interfering old farts is yet another problem that you must deal with...I dont know what else to suggest...maybe half ounce of lead in the ear (just joking !!)
For me....I would be saying "put up, or shut up !!!"....but I am not noted as a diplomat in dealing with fools and idiots ....so maybe best to do it in your own style ;D ;D ;D
I am not sure that you can go on for the rest of your life propping up your Lady's uncertainties. Sooner or later she has got to cut the cord and make a committment to your future relationship and get tough with all the doomsayers around her.....and truly believe that you are her best option, despite all the negative influences around her. Until you deal with this on a fundamental level, it will continue to fester.
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You know I am just beginning to realize how much I am not paying attention to racing these days. It has been a little over 2 years. When I moved I switched to Direct TV and within a couple of weeks I tore everything out and told them to go pound sand. I haven't replaced them with anyone and I don't really miss having cable or a dish. I've managed to find a way to see what I want with the exception of Nascar. Thanks for the pics Lloyd. Since you missed all of the good crashes I won't ask for more. Yes, I am the lone person who admits to watching nascar for the spectacular crashes. I watch it for other things too but hands down it is the crashes and seeing how stupid the Busch brothers can get. Hey wait... Isn't Michigan where Kurt Busch dorked out and made snow angels at the track?
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ah, yes, that would be the snow angel incident. The track president is fond of that fact...
Neither race went the way the pundits expected, but that is the way it happens up here.
David, I'm not really worried about the friend issues anymore, they're have not been any lately. Her problem now is the meddling old fart that mama and her have both tried repeatedly to boot out of their lives. As I was told, it's not that mama doesn't respect grandmother, it's that she is sick of grandmother coming down on Yuan and sticking her nose into Yuan and my happiness. Although I was expecting Willy to make the comment about the Agency and their fees they are seeking....
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Yes, it's 3:17 Am and I am online, we are chatting. I have to be at Detroit Metro by 7 for my check in. I remember from my long ago life in the military, fastest way to adjust to the other side of the globe, don't sleep until your in the air. I land in Beijing at 1:45. I did cave into the cautious advice of using a different train, because she did not want me to risk missing the train and said she could wait a couple more hours. I'm arriving at 22:56 local time in Handan... easy to calculate, that is 10:56 Eastern time... less than 32 hours to go...
I do get to fix her wifi when I get there, she can no longer access it. I'm guessing a nice courteous neighbor and she probably did not secure the line. I'll fix that... b/c I have that ability to be a total d*ck to wifi freeloaders, especially when they interfere with my video face time...
Yes, I am getting the jitters, but I think it's the good kind...
Lloyd
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Good luck Lloyd, Hope to see you in Handan over the next few weeks,,,,John .
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Good Luck to you Lloyd.
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my ticketing agent managed to get me to my originally desired train with time to pass out from terror of running through the train station. So managed to reach Handan by 8pm and whilst she could not meet me in Beijing this trip, I was still delighted to see her face as soon as I could see people at the end of the exit tunnel. As beautiful as ever. The flight was uneventful, minus a little turbulence coming out of New York, but it was just minor thermals leading up to that little rain event.
The apartment is rather nice, plenty of space, mama says we cannot sleep in the same room, obvious reasons prior to marriage. I will simply state we are behaving for the most part. I am supposed to cook for her and mama while I am here, she thought I'd be able to just walk into the store and buy a couple things. Had to tell her I actually had something planned that takes a couple days.
But this is just an update to let everyone know I am here and not sleeping somewhere in a dumpster in Beijing.
Will update you later, and thanks for the well wishes, John, we are definitely going to have to cross paths in the coming weeks.
Lloyd
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ok, it's sometime after I arrived and still weeks away from return trip to the states. That of course implies I still don't have my days straight, damn dateline thingie...
Sunday was pretty much hanging out, went for a drive up the road to Xingtai procure what is apparently some d@mn tasty donkey meat and I will agree, that was tasty stuff. Not absolutely certain the drive is worth it. I've had little interaction with the stuff, so I guess when I have some terrible stuff, I'll know for certain.
Yesterday we we went to lunch, chilled out for a little while and then mama, ayi and another uncle I had not yet met tossed us into the car and we drove out to I believe they said Yongyun or Yongyuan. Kind of a big deal for TaiQi, not just guessing, it's a walled city, walls are pre-Ming in appearance and design. The folks in Beijing are apparently building a massive TaiQi school there... I just know awesome little trip, except for the ride in the back of a Kia Soul, I am definitely not a fan of the hamster car. The trip involves the option of walking the wall, riding a bike, single or tandem on the wall, or riding a go cart (tour bus style) on the wall. 4 gates, completely surrounded by water and I'm guessing the area was once a heavy rice area, with the water outside the moat like structure which is about football field's length (American or Soccer Pitch take your pick). I just thought it totally cool to see a place so apparently remote (there's a mini ghost city going in north of the actual city and school) they have kept the wall and a lot of the rectangular courtyard homes, with some obvious 20th century 2 stories that are grey brick, not red brick. if your curious we hiked the wall, I've got to download the pics from her cam, not mine though. It's a long walk, but we had fun, she kept throwing "tantrums" for the last quarter section from the East Gate (one of two massive gates) to the South gate, before we got lost in the car and I lost the sensation in my legs riding in the back of the hamster car.
Today, we overslept only a couple hours, long enough for mama to know without a doubt we were not sleeping seperately and I know mama chewed her out. bad part is, we were just sleeping, very comfortably together, but sleeping. As we all know, with mama, that's no difference, still a play foul. Went to lunch with mama, ayi and a friend I had never met and her son (about 8 I would guess). After lunch, it's official, I have met the enemy, and they bend her ear with Mahjong tiles. Apparently they think I am stupid and I let them think so. One of them figured out I understood a little and he (married to one of the other players) proceeded to try and work me over. These people don't seem to understand, but I am certain they will all watch their tongues around me in the future, because he wasn't expecting me to speak full complete sentences back to him. My vocabulary is limited, but the army did want me to be a linguist and I have some aptitude, granted, if they talk fast or with their mouths full, I'm boned, but I'm getting better.
Coincidentally, I was severely punished today, I had to watch her lose at Mahjong for 2 hours, after she had won for the first hour, then after she realized we hadn't gone to the bank today, she spent 30 minutes cleaning house and walked away with 80RMB, then it's home and we had dinner with mama. Now just kicked back again and wasting my time talking to you, "what am I doing that for" later!
Lloyd
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Sounds like you are enjoying yourself so that is great , we look forward to your next installment , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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I concur. Sounds like fun. I am enjoying the stories.
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My apologies to everyone for not updating, I did a dumb thing. I got sick....
Good thing her mama knows a thing or two about health, still of a tickle in the chest and throat, but no longer suffering from high fever, they were considering taking me to the hospital until it finally broke. She decided to take a very non-flattering picture of me sprawled on the bed, sweating like a hog at the butcher shop. No, I'm not posting it. We did finally get some rain Saturday night, Sunday morning, helped clear the air quite abit around here, granted this being Handan and they being on the overdrive building schedule the air is getting thick again already.
I'm hoping I can convince her to go out later today, just to escape the apartment, I briefly went for a car ride Saturday night, some friend of mama's needed a ride home and mama has come to enjoy having me around for parking purposes. Yuan thinks it's funny when I wedge my legs into the driver's seat of the hamster mobile. I was pretty certain after the army had sent me to Korea some years ago I never wanted anything to do with a Kia, now I am absolutely positive I want nothing to do with a Kia, I will stick with my nice roomy (especially the leg room) Fords and Jeeps.
Well that's all for now, I'll let you know once we've done something besides me staring at the ceiling or curled into a ball.
Lloyd
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Lloyd , look after yourself and remember whatever a Chinese woman gives you for sickness is better to accept and take , rather than the consequences of refusing , which of course gets around to them loosing face , and then you really will get sick ha ha , we await your next up and about story , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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If it is a cold/flu you have get your g/f to make you up some ginger soup.....this works wonders and will have you back on your feet very soon. Trust me I know first hand. To think that for years us westerners shunned Chinese medicines and now we know that most of the ingredients in a tablet of ....... is made up of the same ingredients in a Chinese basket of roots and herbs.........
Now just take a spoon full of sugar with it and take your medicine..........
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I'm glad your feeling better, now enjoy the rest of your time there. I guess we'll have to bribe your girl to get that picture posted. ;D
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Hey Lloyd, Good to hear your on the road to recovery, For me , wheels up in 30 hours and off to Beijing, Catch up with you very soon , John.
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So I am still recovering from the cold bug, she now has the cold bug. My fault, but I accept that fact. She is nowhere near where I was few days ago. I'm looking at cooking for her and mama again, I'm thinking a full course fajita dinner, Tejano buddy in the army taught me how. I just have to figure out the seasonings and go easy on the fire ;D
Yesterday we went out to SheXian, to see the lake and the scenery, yell off the walkway and listen to the echoes. One of her uncles was along, I think he tried to eat everything on the path to the bridge crossing the lake... we didn't cross the bridge, I was outnumbered on the vote. There is a temple or something up the cliff on the other side. Still not sure entirely what it was, but I know it was alot of time in mama's hamster ball, I mean car, sorry, legs are still cramped from the experience.
Now that I am functioning well, we are discussing taking a trip to Shijiazhuang, but apparently the agency is trying to tell her that we cannot get married if they don't get their's. I think it's time to take them down a peg or two, so we're going to have to go over there and handle that. Formal wedding sometime down the road, not totally decided, but we want to do it with my parents present.
She made it known that at some point in the near future, "we" are going to be responsible for mama, I was kinda expecting that and let her know I had figured that already, her being an only child kind put that one through the goalposts as a strong possibility down the road. Good side of this, Yuan and I have talked about opening up a business for her to make money, I have come to know here mama well enough that she will be there helping Yuan with the shop and business and when that grandchild comes along I know the new laolao will be right there to help with that as well.
She did make the official statement, that she has chosen me and does not care what her friends or her laolao want to make of it. She only knows she wants to spend the rest of our lives together. This amid her mahjong friends having a cow because she doesn't want to come play with them this week. She did clean them out last week in the last thirty minutes of play, which was good. Now I am evil and it's my fault. It's not her feelings, score one for me. I think I'll buy her a real nice mahjong table now, one of the automatic jobs that has two sets of tiles and all, but wood, not plastic, then her mahjong friends can really be pissy about something.
I am certain down the road there will be some sort of problem, I know my folks have been together over 45 years and I've seen more than one explosion around the house, but as Yuan and I have come to agree, it's only a problem if we quit and she knows I am not willing to quit. Ironically my great-grandfather told my mom to "stay away from that damn bum" and she didn't and against his theory they are now looking for permanent vacation home in the Indian River area of Michigan's Inland Waterway.
John, look forward to the possibility of getting together. Our place is right next to the Tsingtao beer garden, or "burn and roast" as I believe it translates, I'm thinking beer and charred animal flesh is good casual gathering place myself. I think her mama is trying to fatten me up anyway. I have had to start refusing bread because I know I'm fattening up. Of course I'm still waiting for mama to decide to celebrate with that bottle I gave her on arrival. I understand enough to know that most Chinese do not want "wine" so I gave her my best bottle of anejo rum I have. A 15 year Dominican, I'm waiting for them to realize it's actually flammable...
One pic posted below, I will resize a couple more for uploading later, I couldn't help it, Yuan taking a picture of mama playing in the flowers.
Until later,
Lloyd
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Hahaha .. just noticed Mom and Daughter ( Yuan ) are wearing the same Shoes , just different Colours . :o :)
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They are more like sisters than mom and daughter, her mom totally bucks the "tiger mom" stereotype we are used to in the states.
As of now, waiting to hear from John(1964). I know we have some things to handle this weekend and John and Min are headed to that wedding tomorrow. I am betting there will be a huge number of wedding tomorrow in this town. There was a large number of wedding on the 6th as well.
Lloyd
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So it's raining outside today, we are stranded in the apartment. Apparently Handan is like Southern California (from what little I have seen and as told by my family members who have lived there). It is raining, therefore it is not safe to drive...
I guess we are just weird in Michigan, you only stop driving in the rain if you can't see past the hood, then you pull over and wait. Preferably somewhere you can get out of the car and watch.
Exciting news, we went shopping yesterday. I heard mama gasp at the other end of the apartment when she saw the ring. Hell, a few of her friends were chomping at the bit as soon as they saw. She was trying to keep it somewhat hidden at first. Turning her hand but... they saw. Now for the ride to Shijiazhuang,
later, it's lunchtime
Lloyd
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I guess that means ," congratulations " are in order for Lloyd and Yuan , from Sujuan and Robert .
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I guess you maybe right Rob......but I will wait for the official news. I hate when I get cryptic clues wrong :'(
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I will say, it is almost official. This morning I got kicked out of bed and while I was eating breakfast, mama changed out the bed linens. Definitely a theme going on with that. We've a bit of laundry to take care of and then we are off for the day, how far we get today I don't know, but I am prepared to pay for rooms tonight in Shijiazhuang so we don't spoil mama's work on the bed if we don't get the paperwork done this afternoon.
I haven't heard from John(1964) since he was preparing to take off the other day. Yesterday I was so bloated with food and beer that I was considering going in and purging myself, but then , no mama would be all over making sure I wasn't sick. I am guessing today is a good day for opening a business in China, We've had a few storefronts setting off firecrackers each day, but today, a few of them are going downright ballistic with the whole show about every hour.
I think it's time to get dressed anyway, only have a pair of bluejeans left to hang up. Wish us luck...
Lloyd
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Ok, so we hit the snag that I, some of you and others I have talked to predicted. The office in Shijiazhuang wants the notary from the Embassy in Beijing, so now I get to go to Beijing, trying to convince her that it looks good if we go together, mama wants to drive the car (oh god that's like 6hours one-way in the hamster mobile).
Right now she's taking a nap, we have to go somewhere with a printer so I can make the appointment time, but we also have to decide train or car. Biggest problem with car is that mama's friends who are willing to drive to Beijing, don't know the embassy area. My thought is ok, if mama absolutely insists we take the car to Beijing, then take us to Beijing and we can hop the subway to the stop near the embassy. Makes sense to me, but this is becoming a circus of unbelievable proportion and it's why she is taking a nap. If we drive, we're leaving Handan at 3am, oh joy. at this point, I don't care how we get there. I just want us to get there. Then on Friday we can go to Shijiazhuang on Friday.
Cross fingers, pray and everything else any of you can think of....
I believe we are getting pictures this afternoon, I'm not totally certain. I can't keep up anymore...
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I believe we are getting pictures this afternoon, I'm not totally certain. I can't keep up anymore...
Ha Ha - you are definately with a Chinese lady.
Willy
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I'm told a beer or 2 will help in this kind of situation. Good luck.
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Best advice I ever got from this site I will pass onto you......go with your ladies flow and don't rock your apple cart too much
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Sounds kind of strange to me , that someone actually over there likes to Drive by Car 6/SIX hours one way to get somewhere . My LaoPo is tired just driving here ONE hour .
This reminds me of Chevy Chase and his first Vacation Movie , only your NOT going to Wally World . hahaha
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Wednesday night, Yuan's English teacher, decided he would coerce me into hiring his service as our wedding MC for the actual party, but plying me with alcohol. This was my introduction to Baijiu... this was bad... very bad... they are still teasing me about the after effects and the fact that I was dumb enough to say, "fuwu'yan, liang ge piujiu!" after having a few beers, after having only two of us kill a bottle of baijiu... very bad.. I have done worse, we discussed it. She know understands why I try not to drink much anymore. When I drink, I like to drink. Which is great in view of people watching me knock them back, but we got home, I sat on the bed, then ran for toilet... very, very bad... However, we are going to use him as an MC when we have the party, because mama insists on a Party, I want the personal joy of watching my dad drink tea and some of my family would be upset if I had the chance to invite them to a wedding in China and did not do so. Along with a couple of my parents close friends, one of whom I call my other mom. Ironically, it's the Hamtramck/Garden City branch of the family that most wants to see a Chinese wedding. I think they just like weddings and partying myself.
Wake up call by mama at 3AM, arduous hours in the car, The horrendous pain in my legs from squeezing into the back of a Kia Soul for 6 hours to Beijing, 2 hours to find the embassy because mama would not hear of us using a cab or the subway to get to the embassy. Then "uncle" getting lost despite having a GPS, I was done at the embassy by 11:00, but it took us 3 hours to get out of Beijing, rather scenic drive through all of the Chaoyang district, I think mama and uncle asked every embassy guard in Chaoyang how to get to the American Embassy. Then when we finally got there, uncle said it didn't have an American flag, therefore wasn't the American Embassy.... So we got back to Handan late... We passed Shijiazhuang at around 7 PM and uncle finally found the gas pedal again. Thankfully it was just Yuan and I in the backseat. Very good considering I was pretty much sick as hell and showed up looking hungover to the embassy. The receptionist gave me grief and I apologized stating, if uncle and mama had been nicer and let Yuan and I just hop a cab once we go to Beijing, I'd have been early and she could have seen me looking even more rough because of the baijiu experience. She snickered at the baijiu comment and as I left she wished me well. I know the Vice Counsel who handled the notary stamp said something to her after he and I talked about Yuan's education. I think I know what she was initially thinking. The embassy procedure was of course short, brief and obnoxiously boring, felt guilty when I was only in there for about 20 minutes total and there were a couple guys who had been there for various reasons waiting for whatever they were doing for almost 2 hours already, waiting on the interviewer.
Friday, not so lucky in the backseat, auntie wanted to come along to Shijiazhuang... three adults in the backseat of a Kia Soul and Yuan is about 5 foot 7 inches, tall for a Chinese girl, I happen to enjoy the fact, being just under 6 feet myself. Mama likes it because she believes she is going to have tall grandchildren. However in the short term, I wish mama had bought a nice Buick, Ford, or anything with more than 3 inches of legroom in the back of the hamster wagon, but I've been very good, have not complained and Yuan knows I'm hurting in that backseat when we go on one of these long road trips. Again we had a 3AM wakeup, at least I wasn't ill from the night before although I was confused as to why we left so early, until we got to Shijiazhuang and uncle again had to ask every cop and taxi driver where the building was we were going to... He really is a nice guy, give you the shirt of his back type... but he is the last person I want driving in the future... So we did find the marriage agency office before it opened, actually in time to finally get something to eat for breakfast. Chinese doughnuts and Yuan and I had dumpling soup...
The agency complained about us not having a translated copy of the single affidavit, but the embassy would only let me use their affidavit form. Did the application at one office, then she sent us over to another office where we signed some other papers and then uncle blew of the GPS and drove through the middle of town North to South and out the back way and we took the scenic way home. Sadly, the only scenery was cornfields and small villages. Cornfields I can see at home, I have no idea why he wanted to go that way, but I kept my mouth shut and sucked it up. We stopped at a little hole-in-wall place for lunch, not in a village, we were in Xingtai, which is about as attractive as Flint on a bad day... most of the food was good, mama has this obsession that my favorite food is beef, she ordered a stew for me, and they served us gnarly, tough old hormone flooded bull meat. Everyone agreed with me the meat was too tough and the flavor was off, auntie took the beef to feed to her dog.
Halfway back to Handan, they finally let Yuan drive and I got to sit in the front seat, my legs were happy, there was definitely more room in the front...
We took the car to the car wash, because, well, two days driving cross country in China with a white car leaves an incredibly filthy white car. After the car wash we went to a bath house, unique experience. Most of it was good, the only part that bothered me was the whole concept of another guy scrubbing my junk, which of course most western men are not comfortable with. Having been in the army, walking around a giant room with several dozen other naked men is not so disturbing. Just the whole scrubbing thing...
We had dinner at the bathhouse, the English teacher showed up for dinner, we talked and started planning the wedding ceremony, there is a compromise in motion that her mama is being very understanding about. If she wants my parents at the wedding, then we have to plan farther out than two months. Simple logistics and West vs. East culture of wedding etiquette. We are going for a date in late March, this gives me time to coordinate any family and friends that wish to attend. Also, time to get mom's help in forcing dad onto the plane to come to China. He's afraid we're going to feed him cat, bugs and monkey brains, I forgive him, he was in Vietnam before I was born. I was informed that I am required to buy a diamond ring for the wedding ceremony, this following the gold ring I got for the engagement and filing of the marriage certificate. Mama is demanding, but I understand, she wants proof of financial commitment to her only child.
So yes, it's official, here it is, Saturday and I woke up this morning with my wife.
I went to bed, knowing that my whole world is changed forever and woke up still with smile and her in my arms. Now she is giving me hell for spending too much time telling all of you what has transpired the last few days and we need to go pray for our wedding date.
farewell for now,
A happily married and contented Lloyd
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The heartiest of congratulations to you and Yuan , from Sujuan and Robert .
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Good on ya bloke,all the best to you and Yuan, " May The Blue Bird of Happiness Crap on your wedding cake"
Cheers
Leeroy
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Congratulations to you and Yuan, Fate has it that we do not cross paths this time in Handan, I received your email this-morning but still no content, Just a link that sent me to some mortgage broker, Well best of luck to you both and now it is my wife complaining that i am spending too much time on this site, Must go now as it is our last night together until December, I love reading your posts and i hope to read many more, I as yet have not had time to post but will do so on Monday night if sleep deprivation does not catch up with me first, MinYing and John.
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Thank you all, even those that haven't had a chance to read it yet. Found out the reason she wanted me to hurry was so we could go and get our date. We have a date, that will appease my family (that whole western don't rush rule) and makes her mama extremely happy because while it's a few months off, the gentleman who went over everything told Yuan and mama that we are literally blessed by Buddha. Last I knew, that was a good thing. So fate does work in strange and mysterious ways.
John, don't worry, I understand, I've only a few days left in town myself and I'm trying to soak up as much time as I can with Yuan. I do have to ask that if you have not mentioned anything to the agency, please do not do so. We did a wonderful job of convincing Echo we were not getting married this month. As we haven't really been using the agency. I know that this agency does do a wonderful job, but we only exchanged 4 letters with them, we already did the marriage paperwork and therefore, nothing personal, but they didn't earn any extra money.
For now, it's off to bed, we're both tired and had a good foot massage, god how I miss those when I am back stateside...
Goodnight all
Lloyd
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Bugga the agency mate. They can get nothing from you and can not enforce anything. Xia and I only took the owners out for lunch about 2 weeks after we got married that is all and have never seen them since. Nor did they ask for any money and I would not have given them any anyway. I am sure plenty of guys will tell you pretty much the same and their own experiences.
Congratulations on everything and now you can join the rest of the brotherhood and know that you have the second best woman in China. As everyone else will confess to having the best.
Look forward to more updates as the time unfolds.
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Hey Lloyd, I agree with Jason, I have said nothing, You did not meet Yuan though the agency so bugger them, They can not enforce Yuan to make the payment so do not worry about it and have no further contact with them., And yet again the email you sent last night diverts me to some mortgage broker, I don't know what's going on there, Enjoy the rest of your days in Handan, For me the alarm went off an hour ago and my heart sank, soon to be at the airport to go home, bye for now John and MinYing.
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John(1964) that email isn't from me, I never set that email account with a phony id in my address book, now it's set, but I did notice I started receiving bogus emails from myself. I'm submitting a complaint about it, I know I haven't any connections currently with any brokers. So it's a spam attack under my name.
As for the agency, we're not worried about them. The documents arrived today from Shijiazhuang, official statement and notary translation stating we registered for marriage on September 16... Right now, it's sunny outside and she is watching something on Funshion, looks like a TV show.
The train ticket is bought for Beijing, we're both not happy about the time left.
Good news, I survived the photo studio, albeit I wanted to pay back that photographer with some pain. My neck is still hurting from the experience. I really am not fond of most of the 'styles' they wanted me in. Especially the Sgt. Pepper's Jacket. Apparently I really didn't get any say in the matter, according to the 'style' experts, it matched her dress... At least I got out of the rhinestone ruffled tux... That was embarrassing.
Thing she is most upset about, we just got married and her birthday is coming up, but I won't be here for it. I think we're going to get some lunch soon. No idea what mama has planned for dinner and we have to set up the wire to her bank account. Mama is more concerned about how much I am leaving with her on Sunday morning. I don't believe Mama gets the idea that I will be sending money to Yuan regularly. We are making plans for Christmas and I have been informed when Yuan finally comes to America, mama plans to also come along and will be inspecting property. I'm not surprised, because Yuan already warned me mama expects to come with her and to be able to visit when (like any mama) she becomes grandma... big shock.
So we are just trying to enjoy these last few days together and look forward to the future. We did visit a gentlemen who has 'fortune' with Buddha and have a wedding party date. This makes mama even more happy, even though she still thinks it is too far in future (March). However, the Buddha man told her without asking me that members of my family are to be considered blessed people for Yuan to be around and that our marriage is blessed by Buddha. He also told mama that my family has noble (yes, the traditional meaning) blood on both sides and that it would be inappropriate to rush the wedding. Thank you Buddha man, my mother would be pissed if she didn't attend my wedding, I remember the hell my brother faced when he and his wife married in Nevada, without inviting any of our family. I do not want to face that or risk Yuan dealing with it either.
That's all for now,
Lloyd
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Lloyd and Yuan, Glad to hear that things are going well for thee both of you, I know how you feel about limited time left together, The dreaded alarm clock will make your heart sink as it has done to me many times now, Enjoy the rest of your time together and if you are in Handan in December WE WILL catch up then, You have mine and the wifes cell phone numbers now so there is no excuse ;D, It will be ffffrrrreeeezing in December but worth the trip, I now know the emails weren't from you, I received one two days ago with a link to Viagra 8), I may be 47 but do not need this product,,,YET ;D, Well my friend enjoy and i look forward to reading your posts always, MinYing and John.
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So I have a question, does anyone know anything about filing copies of the marriage documents with the translations with the embassy, or is that something for the visa process and not a concern for the American Embassy in Beijing, much appreciated, thanks...
Lloyd
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As Mike said if you are doing your marriage certificate (red book) for the visa process you will need to get it translated into English and verified. This is usually done in the same office at the same time. Mine looked like a big A4 sized document and a paper cover. Much bigger than the red book is. One thing to keep in mind and even for the process later, keep atleast 4-5 extra copies or get extra made up of your photos that go into the red book as they will be needed for the marriage documents.
If the papers are for the marriage itself, you will need your documents, single certificate, divorce/death certificate if applicable translated, notarised and verified both in your own country and in China. Not sure if you can get the embassy/consulate to do this for you otherwise they will turn you away at the desk when you go to register for marriage.
If you are enquiring about registering the marriage in your country as a matter of course, I am not sure of other countries but in Australia if the marriage is recognised by the country of marriage it is recognised here and there is no need to register. So an extra translated certificate maybe all that is required for work/tax etc.
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thanks for the clarification, I kind of thought it was filed with the application, not just randomly presented to the embassy. especially considering the embassy doesn't handle any of the marriage visas, which is kind of a crock. However I learned long ago that bureaucracy is all about how to screw things up, not make them better.
For now, miserably counting the hours away. As you all know, I am really hating Sunday. I don't want to go, but I need to go home and make money for my beautiful wife, and to pay for a wedding also. We go to look at the pictures tomorrow, I have no idea what is going to be what, I am only concerned we have a good picture I can use for the purpose of announcements to family, because that's what my folks are worried about. I hope they did a nice photoshop job, Her mama has been packing the food into my face for the last 3 1/2 weeks
Lloyd
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wow, sorry about not being on, had alot going on lately and I've spent my free time talking with my darling wife and both of us being miserable. You all know where the misery comes from.
Where to begin, I haven't the slightest idea. That last post seems so long ago. I can give the trouble and funny updates. The trouble, her grandmother (laolao姥姥) is being obnoxious as usual, she's now demanding that I buy Yuan a house in China, even though Yuan plans to move here to the States. She's making an argument about hukou status and other things. I've talked it over with Yuan and mama and it's agreed, she has gone beyond the point of sanity, mama will continue to fight with her, but she has told Yuan and I not to worry, it is not our problem at this time. I am certain that means within a few years, we will be sponsoring mama to come to the States. Unless there's someone looking for a charming 47 year old divorcee who wants a guy that doesn't drink and womanize. Then we can solve the issue.
The funny, which starts our kind of rough. Yuan hasn't heard from her biological father in years, he (as I have been told) ran off and filed divorce from mama within days of Yuan being born. However his mother (nainai 奶奶 to us) asked Yuan's mama to move into her place with her while she got her life straight and has always been an influence in Yuan's life. As I understand from other friends, this is a major slap in the face to her son. She also has a very close relationship with her paternal Aunt who nainai now lives with. So mama remarried, which wasn't the best choice, but it gave her finances and a place to stay, outside of the mother of her ex-husband (no we're not going to discuss that guy).
So after several years of not speaking to his daughter, he did used to speak to her when he visited his mother, but apparently has not visited her in several years. He called Yuan a couple days after I got back, she was totally freaked out and upset when we talked and didn't know what to do, because he had found out we got married, consent issue in his eyes. I calmed her down, asked her how he found out, considering he has nothing to do with her or mama. Apparently it came up in conversation with her Aunt, his sister and after she talked to nainai and her aunt, she found out that her aunt considered it a slip and supposedly didn't intend to tell him. nainai told Yuan, I paraphrase in English, "Do not worry granddaughter, my son has no say in your life, he gave that up and I gave my blessing, which is to be considered your grandfather's blessing and you are now married." According to her aunt, nainai also called her son on the phone and ripped him a new one, repeatedly. Which is good, because he has had no part of her life since birth (according to the entire family).
Other news, we are sending out invites/announcements to my family here for the hunli in March, and I'm trying to figure out what's what paperwork-wise. I've got a receipt pile that is somewhat substantial. My parents are pricing plane tickets and her and mama are choosing a restaurant for the party. The bulk of my family and friends are all asking the same question we are all dying to know, "when is she coming here?" To which I have answered, once I finish all of the requirements from our end, you can feel free to ask the people in our government who are responsible for that answer.
We have had a squabble over a new phone issue. We both wanted the iPhone5, it didn't happen, so instead of wasting the fortune they want for the 4S, I bought her an iPhone4, but that is no longer an issue, because I and another friend, both know people in a certain tech company and have vague information which I discussed with her and she is ok with an outdated phone until the iPhone5 hits the market. Yes, she tried the sajiao approach and that's why I had to make a couple calls. The accountant looking for depreciable value and important statistical information.
For now, I've got to go, my Tigers just blew game 6 and I hate life, fortunately, the Lions are 5-0 and the Redwings are awesome as always.
Lloyd
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Good to hear from you brother, keep us with up-dates, John.
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A little brutality for all to share and laugh about, this is what John(1964) may get to look forward to, btw John, the clothes don't fit...
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2 more
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A little brutality for all to share and laugh about, this is what John(1964) may get to look forward to, btw John, the clothes don't fit...
Hey Mr Dapper, thanks for sharing a thousand words. 8)
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Great reading and photo's thanks Lloyd , bit different to tracksuit and runners [ joggers ] regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Hey Lloyd, I know the clothes do not fit, We went to many shoe shops for me and gave up after ten or twenty different stores, After advice from my wife, I last week brought a new suit and shoes for the happy occasion , I had to send her photos from the suit shop to gain her approval first, he he , Her reply was " handsome husband" :P, As long as she is happy with my ugly mug then who am i to argue with her ;), All the best for the future mate, Hope it all comes together soon, MinYing and John.
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Good read Lloyd and good photos. At least you didn't have to wear the funky hat. :o Sorry, are those the next photos?
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I escaped the "dressing up" saga...not for 10 million dollars was I going to go through that !!!!
Despite large scale attacks rom Ming and family...I held fast.....maybe somewhere in the future I will pay...these Chinese have loooooong memories !!! ;D ;D ;D
I must say that you did look cute Lloyd ::) ::)
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Well done Lloyd, you look like you had a bit of fun doing the photo thing, I'll bet most men do. When we had ours done we were in the studio before i actually knew what was going on so i had no time to talk my way out of it haha, and I'm glad i didn't. When ever i have shown the photos to anyone they have been very impressed and we have something to cherish forever.
David, you'll get yours one day mate, one day when you least expect it haha
While I'm here ,I have a question. Is a Chinese marriage officially recognized in Australia? I thought it was.
Cheers
Leeroy
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Leeroy
Yep...your marriage in China is recognised as legal under the Australian Matrimonial Act....and all that implies !!!! (Family Law, etc etc etc )
David
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Thanks David, I feel better now
cheers
Leeroy
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Thank you all for the kindest words about my stunning clothes that were about five sizes too small, my favorite, as is most of my family's is the Sgt. Peppers Jacket, because they are going to have to do some serious photoshop work to make it look like it fit and I wasn't shrugging to keep from ripping it in half. I really should have, then some other poor bastard wouldn't have to wear it.
The irony on that jacket, I remember standing in the studio the day before when I was paying for the shoot thinking "God please don't let me wear anything that ridiculous." :-\
our favorite set was the green dress and the very dark green suit. However her mama overrode us in all photo proofing votes... :o we have agreed, mama doesn't get to do the proofs for the hunli, because one of the photographers is someone I have asked here to come. She still hasn't confirmed, but she also hasn't booked anything for a week either side of our hunli. She's also family... and what can I say, I have family that really wants to attend. Which has her mom happy, because my parents and at least two of my three siblings attending is nice mark for me. She knows my grandfather won't come (he was in Korea and is the only surviving member of his company). possibility of dad's last surviving aunt and a couple cousins on both sides... My older brother is siting he can't take off work for a few days, but my sis-in-law wants to take the boys on a 'field trip' (they home school) which is wearing down on him, because he is just being his normal bullheaded Marine self.
John, just have fun with it when it happens. There really are only a few studios in town, we used Paris Photo, across from Congtai. I will have my own suit for the actual hunli date, I'm not messing around with trying to find something for my shoulders or chest. Let alone the midsection if her mama gets to feeding me again.
David E. I would recommend doing it in Australia, where you know the photographer doesn't expect you to hold bizarre poses that a Yogi would have trouble with...
off for now, have to get up tomorrow, doing updates and refresh training for tax season. she apparently found out what the average income for an Accountant is during tax season. I get this bad feeling when she gets here, it's gonna be a day at the Somerset... At least she not into all the major brands, she also knows there are limits on the cards. Thank you Chase for that luxury, she just want's to know when she gets one of her own... :'(
Lloyd
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alright, I have a very interesting question and it's something that is starting to bother Yuan and I...
I left money with her when I returned to the states, she stated she still doesn't need money, but I wanted to get everything in place ahead of the 'need'. So last Friday of last week, went into my local Chase branch and sent some money to her. Chase confirmed it as sent and said it could take up to three business days to complete the transfer and that was according to the Bank of China and the routine dealings the two banks have with one another.
Three business days, well, it's approaching Friday.... I know Bank of China considers Saturday a business day, so I'm getting a little nervous. Blame it on my profession and the desire to have a good tally on all things financial, money in limbo in the digital age is not a happy thing for me.
So does anyone have experience with slow Bank-to-Bank transfers, am I freaking out a little early ( I do have receipts), or is there cause for concern.
Appreciate the intel assist, thank you...
Lloyd
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Lloyd
I sent Ming money by International Bank Transfer every month for nearly 2 years. Always it took 3 to 5 working days (EXCLUDING) Saturday to clear into her Account.
Never ever once got it through in less then this. I am now sending some money each month to her Son...same deal, averaging 4 days...but always gets there in the end !!!
BTW...I always used electronic Bank to Bank International transfer, with appropriate Swift Code address, and the Chinese Bank physical address....it was the Bank of China too.
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thank you for the detail on the wonderful slow movement of funds into China. She told me last night that she was told if she had married a Chinese person instead of an American it wouldn't be a problem. Which put her in a sour mood, at least I'm guessing that was part of the initial trigger...
We are officially having a fight, my fault, I know it's my fault because I'm the one who has asked her everyday for the last six weeks about the wording for our hunli invitations. She and I both realize it is more of an announcement to most of the people here in the states that are receiving them, however there are a couple people eagerly awaiting them because they want to see it and they are protocol and format nazis... Most of those in this boat are the cousins of mom and dad who have their own substantial finances and are interested in going, so long as they receive the invite before Christmas. Which to me didn't seem like an impossible question. I know we have not signed on a restaurant, but I just needed her to put down the date, time and the fact that it is in China, in the correct format, so I can transcribe it correctly.
Well last night I got frustrated about it, I have also been taking calls the last two days regarding some issues at my local non-profit that I affiliate myself with because we have issues developing there which adds to the stress, because I'm the one who is going to have to bail out the situation. It's a paperwork, bookkeeping issue... I am not the holder of those books, thank goodness.
Long story short, my wife is in meltdown because she doesn't understand that I am trying to keep the peace on multiple fronts here and it's not even tax-season yet. She did ask me why I am so concerned about having the ability to do other people's tax paperwork for them.... ... ... .... ???
Last week I had to explain to her, the reason why I am not a 'Firm' accountant and when most accountants in the US make over 50% of our income. Then I gave her a number, a 3 year average. However, she apparently still does not fully comprehend. I am sure she will learn.
The headache is trying to get her to comprehend, while we set the date several months out... it's not as lax for me as it is for her. I still have to deal with "When is the American reception?"
wish me moments of clarity, I don't want sanity...
Lloyd
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Lloyd , just relax Rome wasn't built in a day , America created the just in time delivery system by copying the Japs ha ha , so what you are wanting will arrive prior to Christmas I am sure , but which Christmas is another thing , Idle chatter and SIMPLE answers are the way to go if you discuss 10 things she will probably only remember 2 or 3 and then get confused .
when next you head over open up a specific debit account with your local bank and tell the bank this for the foreseeable future will only be drawn down in China which is what I have done here with my Chinese employee , I computer transfer into that account on a Thursday and she goes to the hole in the wall on a Friday in Chongqing and because the card is from my Australian bank where both accounts are I have never had a problem . and you are in complete control of the account , but will count re your filing of Immigration papers , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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I agree with Robert, This is THE best way to transfer money,and by far the cheepest.
Cheers
Leeroy
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So on the money thing, I know you guys have an easy way, but as an accountant I know there is really only one irrefutable truth to other people looking at financial transfers. Account in my name if they are looking for excuses, they can try and manipulate. So I will deal with the nightmare of slow transfers.
Right now, I need a clarification from my American Brothers, regarding I-130 block C2, her address, I am assuming that this is for her current place of residence, not her hukou, or do they want the hukou address? Would appreciate an answer on that, thank you all.
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What they are looking for is Where she will receives her mail.The consulate needs to know where to send her packets.When it gets close to the time of the interview
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Hey Lloyd, We gave our case officer both the Hukou address and my wife's home address, Our case officer only asked which address she would like her passport and any relevant information sent to. John
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Mike, that is good to hear.
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That is good news Mike.Best of luck to you and Jessica
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Great news Mike and thank you all, much appreciated as I journey down the paperwork path...
Lloyd
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Saw an interesting Chinese programme on TV here yesterday. It was all about how the Chinese were welcomed into the USA and Canada in the late 1800's to build the railways. (Chinese workers built a record of 10 miles of track in one day.) 1000's died in building the railways. More than 5000 in one cold winter in Nevada. The Chinese were the new slave labour force.
When the work was finished both USA and Canada invoked a Chinese exclusion Act that was in force for many decades.
Do some in authority still think they are back to those days?
Willy
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Maybe it is like all of those
antiq, uniq, old laws that no one knows about until someone reads about it and then wants to enforce it.
The same thing happened here but with different ethnic groups. Most Chinese came to Australia first during the gold rush. The last one to come here was not a gold digger....... ;)
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Hey! There is the equal rights here ::) for every immigrant group. Each ethnic group started at the bottom. Each American generation said the same thing... "Damn immigrants taking all the jobs". Personally the chinese never had a chance here. Few made it but it was a rough ride getting there. I don't know why though?
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What Willy has written is basically true.All except for the slave labor part.The Chinese along with the Irish the Italians.Were all payed wages.Did the Chinese get payed less then the say the Irish.Yes they probably did.Were they treated any worse then the Irish, Italians, or Germans? No they were all barred from going into certain businesses at some point and time.And yes allot of people died building the railroads across America.It just wasn't the Chinese.
Like Vince posted each minority group in America has started at the bottom and worked there way up.My wife's doctor was born in Taiwan.His mother and father moved to America in the 70s.His father was the head of the medical college in America.Where my wife's doctor graduated medical school.7 years ago I fixed the doctors Cadillac in his garage.He didn't even have to bring it to the shop.
Willy I watched part of a program on the TV a couple of months ago.It was talking about how the British forced there way into China.When the Chinese said something about it.The British called up the Royal Navy.And shelled the Chinese back to the stoneage.And made China open it's ports to British shipping.And made the Chinese give up the islands of Hong Kong.I remember hearing something about opium and silver.Maybe something like the British were making the Chinese buy opium.And would only take silver as payment.I remember the British empire started a war over this.I wonder how many Chinese died.In the opium wars.
Hey Willy no worries.I found out how many Chinese.The British and the east India trading company killed.In 2 opium wars.It was over 10 thousand. Wow kind of puts a new twist on it.I wonder how many Chinese were killed by opium it self.
I have enjoyed are little talk.If you want to we can continue this.And we can talk about the English crusades.Or if you like we can talk about the Irish problem or the The Scots problem.If you want to. It would be kind of intersting to know just how many Irish Scots or Muslims the British empire has killed in wars over the centuries.I have a question. Is British money still printed with the slogan.By the right of God on it? I'm just curios.That is a bold statement.To think that a hole country would no God's will
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But Maxx........
You forgot to mention one of the most brilliant inventions the Brits had during their "Empire days" for killing off the local population without getting any blood on their own hands....they partitioned the places.
India...Pakistan. North and South Ireland. Singapore and Malaya. Aden and Yemen. Hong Kong and China Cypress (Turks and Cipriots)....and so on.
The Brits thought that partition would set locaL folks at each others throats and ultimately lead to a docile, much reduced population.
Problem was...It didnt work. Just left a long term lingering inter Country warfare...which is still going today !!
The Opium war in China was started because the East India Trading Company lost its monopoly on the Tea trade and wanted a Government backed substitute....Opium to China...Silk, Silver and Gold back to England. The EI Co was almost like a Country in its own right...hugely powerful and dominant.
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I have just finished reading a fascinating book, The Soong Dynasty. A poor Chinese man, Charlie Soong, went to the states in the late 19th century, got hooked up with some influential and rich Methodists, who educated him and sent him back as a preacher to convert the Chinese. He left America, just when they decided they didn't need anyone to build the railways anymore, or break strikes. One year there were 80,000 Chinese immigrants, the next, there were only 40. Charlie Soong, with his triad connections, rich US patrons and making friends with Sun Yat-Sen, helped to bankroll the early attempts at revolution against the Manchu empire. He also was the treasurer for the Nationalist Party, which became the Kuomintang. He had 3 daughters and three sons. One daughter, Chingling, married Sun Yat Sen, then after his death, aligned herself with the communists and became the most im[portant woman in the CP. Another daughter married Chiang Kai-Shek, became the darling of the anti-Communist, paranoid MCCarthyite witch-hunting America of the 50s. The third daughter married a rich businessman who became Chiang Kai-Shek's finance minister. One brother became one of the richest men in the world, and was also Chiang Kai-Shek's finance minister. All the girls were educated in the States, and most of them helped Chiang Kai-Shek to fence billions of US dollars, fuelled by cold war paranoia, into their own pockets. Simultaneously, with their underworld connections, they were producing 80% of the world's heroin (much more lucrative than opium) for export the mafia in the states.
So the UK may have got China hooked on opium, but China helped the US have a heroin problem.
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Trouble is you read too much Maxx. ;D You have to remember that I was probably living through all those times you mentioned. ;D
There is no difference today. All those conflicts were started by people who wanted to make money from the result. Still the same today - money runs politicians that run the world.
Willy
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Willy I thought that was you I seen at the gates of Jerusalem in 1095 A.D.And again in Glen finnen on the shores of loch Shiel in 1479.Remember Willy there can only be one ;D
Willy you are right most wars are fought over greed or religion.It will probably be the downfall of the human race.
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A.D.And again in Glen finnen on the shores of loch Shiel in 1479.Remember Willy there can only be one ;D
The quote from Highlander (great movie & I enjoyed the series) I am surprised Maxx that you got wrong. Especially since you live so close to the border.
What they were saying, since they already knew who would win was"There can only be JUAN". Yes it is to be a Mexican that becomes head of the immortals.
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Being my thread, I find it important to make the note about history and the development of cultural shaft jobs in the US. The native Americans got shafted by the English and French and still have not recovered, however in some states, such as mine they have created a very lucrative casino industry which is fantastically shafting the white man back. And being a half breed, I can make such comments about you 'whiteys' my dad said so.
The progress of culture here in america is pretty much been about separation. Most 'white' folk did their best when they realized they couldn't eliminate a group to find a way to 'assimilate' the lighter skinned cultures into 'Whie America' and darker skinned folk into 'the other America' as a college professor once put it so eloquently for me. Truth be told, Asimilation was once of those great ideas that was picked up from our English 'forefathers' however for the record, I have Scot, Welsh and Irish, and no none English in the family tree.
Until really the last 30-40 years, when more mixed marriages started popping up and now people are trying to get over it all. The Chinese did face some of the worst exclusionary laws regarding immigration and still do face some of the harshest, but then now the shift is falling squarely on the folks from Central and South America. Truth be told, in the next 20-30 years, every number cruncher except the most hateful and bigoted of the white supremacist movement believe that Caucasions will be #2 on the Census and be replaced by Hispanics, then shortly after super-ceded by us 'breeds' and the Asians.
My view, in 100 years, the lines will be blurred and only a few really crusty old bastards in the hills will still have any issues about it.
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So back on the topic of routine updates, and off the discussion of who's nasty and has what policies, because we all know most western countries have crappy policy regarding our ladies. At least in our extremely biased opinions....
Things are dragging along for us. We chat every day, mostly verbal chat with some pictures and now of course the iPhone use of QQ, which came in handy. My grandfather has taken to looking down on me, I don't think he believed I was serious about Yuan. However he won't show this charming side of his personality around mom, because he knows his only daughter who possesses his late wife's temper and flare for attitude adjustment is going to lay into him regarding that behavior. It's sad, I have one cousin who has done nothing with his/her life (skanky type lesbian) and 'it' has leached money off him for years, until my aunt found out a couple years ago and put a stop to it. Now, grandpa is concerned about two druggy low life skanks who keep floating around. One is the neighbors soon-to-be ex-wife, I will commend grandpa on handling her boyfriend who he put on a bus, with the neighbor and a the cops assisting at the bus station. However, he's an old retired farmer/shopworker. His retirement benefits are gone, only drawing social security and the money he has stashed away.
I understand his blind dislike of my wife, however I hope mom can get him over it before she gets her visa. He was in one of the U.S. units that was occupying Japan. His mother found out where he was (he lied about his age) contacted the unit chaplain and he was sent home. After he returned home, the unit went to South Korea. I do not know the exact timeline, but his unit ended up on the Chinese border, the PLA invaded Korea. Grandpa is reportedly the only surviving member of his company. So I do understand, but I have an issue with taking a backseat to a useless druggie whore who isn't family. Nothing more I can say on that issue, sorry to post it, but I needed to vent that one.
My parents are actually excited about the hunli, we still haven't told dad he's drinking tea that day.... ;D
My older brother isn't going, didn't expect him too, he might miss Sunday service. Before you ask or question in anyway Shaun, he's joined and IFB that's a little in right field, I won't say left, because that would really alienate him(that whole concept of left/right). One uncle made a "commie" comment, mom shut him up. The only one's I'm concerned about going are the ones that want to go, minus my aunts who want to go, but do to not listening to their father and brother (my dad and other grandfather) all married poorly b/c their mother told them they were good men. The exception being my youngest aunt who did marry a good guy and they have nice track of land, but they have horses and are not in the 6 figure bracket. Oh well, They'll all be at the party here. Little brother and sister are onboard, little brothers wife is protesting her first trip outside the US is going to be China, She wanted Ireland. I think I've have eased the concern with telling her my flight number and airline (Air Canada, the D to TO to Beijing). Which I still can't believe she's never been across the border.... :o
A couple of my buds have canceled, still waiting on the craziest and longest of my friends, it would be better she met him in China than here, plus we can con him into drinking a bottle of baijiu in our place and being drunk for us. I'm thinking he's trying to convince his girlfriend to let him go. So I'll have one table at the Party and she's talking about 30???? wow, and she said she has a small family and no friends....
Right now, she's trying to figure out this Daylight Savings Time thing. I told her not to bother, just join most of us in wishing it would go away. I'm sure like most of us, she will prefer the 'Spring Ahead' part of the deal though.
As for paperwork, we are waiting on a proper translation of her Address. I have an address that sort of works for shipping, but we think it takes longer than the previous address from before the move. Two weeks longer, plus we want to make sure we have it correct. Obviously so we have no issues with her and I responding in a timely manner.
I'm also doing my prep for tax season, I've picked up a couple new customers who need AMT (substantial income) paperwork, good for my bank account, bad for my sanity. AMT tax laws are totally jacked up, I love how people tell you that people who have large paychecks don't pay taxes. They don't pay taxes if they can write off enough. One of these guys is hosed, I've already discussed with him. He will still clear good after taxes, but he really should have listened to his old accountant and kept track of stuff. I guess he likes funding the system, ironically, he's a Republican.
Well, I'm backing to talking with her, she wants me to go to bed and I am a little tired. However I'd rather stay up until 3AM and talk to her. Guess she wants to me to talk her to sleep.
Yes, I miss her, it's driving me nuts. I thought about ducking over to see her during Thanksgiving, but I promised my family I'd be here and she reminded me of that fact. We are discussing a side trip to Yunnan while I'm there during the Christmas season. She keeps trying to get me to tell her what she's getting. Yea right, I'm enjoying watching her squirm. Fun part, I'm prepping the Christmas cards early this year, and I am signing them Lloyd and Yuan. Wonder how many confused responses I'll get in return.
Later all,
Lloyd
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Many apologies to you all. I have been a bit busy and given all of my internet time to a certain lovely lady and not posted any updates, mainly because I didn't have much happy news outside of Yuan and I are very happy to be together again very shortly.
The bad news, this accountant is on restricted finances, fortunately my bank branch manager has gotten to know me well enough to know I was not involved with what the little crooks were attempting to do with my accounts. However, I will be living on the cheap, which really sucks because I'm in the middle of designing a custom ring for my beloved. Her mama was making comments about how cheap I got off with the ring I let her pick before we got our red books. Yuan knows I am going to bring a ring for the hunli, but has no idea what it is going to be. She is thinking a simple band with maybe "I love you" or “我爱你” etched across it someway. Which I do love the simple, but I have to shut her mama up about calling me a cheapskate in the gift department. Christmas should help to solve part of that issue.... ;D Had to pack one suitcase just for the gifts for the two of them.
My flight out of Chicago has already been delayed, because it's snowing "so heavy" in Chicago right now (bunch of pansies can deal with wind but they freak over rain or snow), before anyone mentions "caution" or "safety" remember, I was a helicopter guy in the army, so please, don't bother. The screws never tighten up.
So I will be spending Saturday night in Beijing, then I already have a confirmation for one of the morning trains to Handan. At some point, Yuan and I will have to connect with John and Min, I think we might be finding a "get well" card for Minying. I did hear about the snow, but she hasn't sent me any pictures, unlike the ones I sent her from our first snow this season.
Not much else to report, bags are packed. I'm not going to bed, because it's better to wait until the plane lifts off from Chicago, then I can sleep half the flight over and be mostly adjusted to the time difference.
For now, it's just waiting again. Joy....
Give you an update soon.
Lloyd
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Your a lucky dog too. Have a great trip and keep those posts and picture coming in.
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With all these dogs going around then have you one for me Shaun? I was seriously thinking of getting a dog. People next door have a labrador. Never seen a foreigner walking around with a dog yet though.
Not very good at training them so maybe will get a Shitzu. Then change it's name to Crapsue.
As I am approaching my third Christmas here I may treat myself. Hmm! New Dog or New Electric Bike? Maybe both, then I can ride, with YouYuan on back while he walks alongside.
Willy
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we had a dog once in Yiyang. His name was dinner. He dissapeared one day. I wonder where he went?
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Willy, I'd go for the electric bike. Theres no used in getting friendly with a dog only to eat him later. :o Anyway Willy, your a lucky dog everyday living there in China.
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Ok, so I'm not really sure where to begin.
before leaving and while enroute had a few chats with John(1964) as we were planning on getting together while we were both in Handan. Sadly there were other forces at work which created some issues for that happening. Every night for the first week and a half, Yuan's "auntie's and uncles" were taking us out to dinner and toasting us all night long. This led to some repeated hangover mornings and some ill feeling days for Yuan. The real trick came in when we didn't go out one night, thought we were recovering and the next morning... somebody was not feeling well... in fact, she wasn't feeling well for a few mornings...
Ok, so that was almost a happy thing. Upon realizing she was feeling ill and we were not going out at night. We decided some investigations should be done. So she picked up a couple home tests and well, let's say her mama was happy about it. I thought I would wait to tell my folks until I was back in the states again. Which was a wise idea, I will elaborate in a moment. So Christmas eve and Christmas day came and we had some more invitations to celebrate, however they didn't try to get us smashed and only toasted me and wished me well on my holiday.
Now all is somewhat well and enjoyable. She's a little agitated because she's trying to figure out how to change what she wants to wear for our wedding party in March, with the prospect of a belly bump at that 3 month point. We started talking about going out with John and Ming, when her pain got pretty bad. She started spending a lot of time in bed. We were going to go out with her friends for New year's eve to celebrate and sing at her favorite KTV bar, when the good news turned bad.
So now that I'm back home, it's a good thing that we didn't tell my parents, because we are not having a sudden addition to our lives. Her mama is a little upset, but she stated herself that these things happen. two nights before I left, I finally met her father. I also met her youngest aunt (I met the other aunt at grandma's house) and also the eldest son of the family. He toasted me a few times and his wife expressed congratulations and toasted us as well. Her father never toasted me. The aunt and her husband also toasted me and Yuan. I toasted all of them, (including her father) I have that whole "proper sense of respect" that her mama keeps bragging about. All the toasting that occurred that night, her father never toasted me. He toasted the table, gave me dirty looks and flew off the handle when I tried to pay for dinner. I did shake his hand at the end of the night, I know he truly holds contempt for me, but I've no idea why. She has hinted he is a party member and I believe he does love his drink.
I will put up some pictures later, as for now, I'm still recovering, thankfully it's the weekend and I really need to get adjusted back. back to the grind on Monday.
farewell for now
Lloyd
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Sad news indeed mate, my thoughts go with you and yours
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Lloyd and Yuan, MinYing and myself are sorry to hear the bad news, As you sad, Your lord has plans for you and you both must live with your pain for a while, Our thoughts are with you both, MinYing and John .
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Sorry it's been a bit slow on the responses, and thank you for the kind words from a few of you. We know that it is not the end of the world and that these things happen to lots of couples. We are proceeding with our plans for the wedding party in March. I keep forgetting the name of the restaurant where we are having the party. Ironically, it's the same restaurant where I finally got to meet her father. I still find it somewhat humorous, his mother gave her blessing, because he was not in the picture, so now we finally met, blessings, well-wishes and smiles with kind words from her Uncle (the real biological brother of her father) and both Aunts (the real sisters). Her Uncle (the oldest child) and his wife were really great and very cordial. He also told everyone at the table the reason why he felt it was better for me to drink beer or red wine is that he knows most westerners don't have "the taste" for baijiu. I don't think he could be more correct, I enjoy rum, vodka and beer. I used to drink quite a bit of whiskey as well (for the Irish and Scots, I do know the different types and qualities of whiskey).
My beautiful wife does not like to drink. I think in part due to the fact her dad is a bit of a drinker. That or that was his way of dealing with having a filthy, American son-in-law who the rest of the family loves. I also know her step-father was a bit of a drinker. So she really doesn't care for it and she likes the fact that I rarely drink. She does understand that I used to drink, she knows that most people who serve in the military of any nation (except Islamic nations where alcohol is forbidden) can knock back a few.
It's getting busy around here for me. It's gonna get crazy in a couple more weeks. Granted, I'm giving up the busiest time of the tax season this year, but it's worth it. Besides, I don't like working myself to death. I'm also considering using my status as a veteran and the completion of my masters later this year as a possibility of moving into a Government position. To be honest, tax accounting is a nuisance, being an accountant requires enough additional annual commitments to continuing education. Taxes triple that, with a fresh test every couple years to maintain that license status. Maybe I'm just getting a little tired and cranky as a side effect of not having Yuan with me here, who knows?
So with the season, if I'm slow to respond, please forgive me everyone. Most accountants in the states who do tax service do make the bulk of our money during this three and a half months though.
Until later
Lloyd
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well, I would apologize, but I'm sure it's understandable that we have been dealing with a little baggage and coping mechanisms are often inadequate for certain things in this wonderful adventure called life.
She recently visited the doctor because she is still having some pains and they (the doc) has given a preliminary diagnosis of a cyst. She is in full panic mode and I am stuck here. So we know a big part of the cause and now we have to wait a couple weeks for more tests. In the mean time, it's wedding planning and me crying (because the bill is racking up to rival an American wedding).
I am finishing up with some of the less known paperwork that some of us vets get to file before getting the remainder of her visa paperwork submitted. I was going over the tax requirements and cussed because I had two 'not happy' years a couple years back and one of them falls into the requested 3 year window, it is over the minimum number, but I really do not like taking certain risks. I talked to an attorney friend, who asked another friend for me and the recommendation was talk to the family and the advice was talk to my family. Mom and dad are going to put in a joint sponsorship for the visa, which the other attorney stated, "Accountant/Military vet and his retired parents, with father that is also a military vet, should sew any questions closed." Which is good, because I think her mama has gone overboard on the wedding planning for the party in March.
The "wedding" details so far that I know, My folks and my long time best bud from the army, along with little sister are going. Possibly a couple other of mom's relatives. Unfortunately not the ones we were hoping for, because that cousins wife just succumb to a five year battle with cancer. Ironically, it took off two months after he sold his company in silicone valley and they were looking for some quality retirement time. Now he also has cancer.... Guess it truly comes in waves.
So we will be staying at one of three hotels, I am not sure which one, because people are attempting to "help" find a "suitable" hotel for my parents.... which is trying my last nerve on that one. They are afterall, my parents and I chose the hotel based on the fact that I know them and the fact that they don't care if they are on the 3rd floor or the 27 floor. We were just going to rent a couple buicks for the wedding, but we have been informed that is not allowed and we will be using BMWs. I got out of the bulk of the dress shopping, but we couldn't find "The" white dress in China, so I had to buy it here, now the dress shop is taking their time and I need to get it in the mail for alterations there. I have been told by several other women who have seen the catalog pics, "Wow! that is amazing!"
The restaurant has not changed (yet) however the whole statement I made a couple months ago about, "that's expensive for food in America" hit a powerful financial chord with her mama.
The latest burning question (not the house, b/c I shot that down faster than a patriot missile on a scud) when are we having a "western" wedding after she gets her visa and comes to America. One of mama's friends didn't like the fact that my mom issued that answer, being, "we are delighted to have a new daughter and welcome her into our life and family, but we are not the vanderbilts, kennedy's or any other of those families and we will have a reception dinner/party, but no second wedding, as it is not in our traditions."
btw, the house issue, her laolao was pushing it and the response was, "she entered into a 'naked' marriage willingly," btw, that's a naked wedding as in no Chinese house, "and I will not hand over money to purchase a home that we will only use for two weeks out of the year only to wonder if we are going to retire there or not, just so some money grubbing wicked old lady can move out of her worthless son's house."
It's a good thing her mama and most of the rest of her family like me. I never expect laolao or her father to ever approve of me, but her uncle (dad's big brother) supports her nainai and gave me a thumbs up with a handshake. laolao reminds me of my own late grandmother too much. the only difference I see between the two is laolao has a sense of style. where my paternal grandmother just made grandpa miserable.
Ok, well, I think I'm tired, have to get up and get back to work by 9am again tomorrow.
She's been moody again the last two days, but I understand why. We just have to stick together and work through this little disappointment and turn of events. and hope that it doesn't get worse.
Lloyd
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I did promise a couple pics from that horrible day....
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I did promise a couple pics from that horrible day....
Ohhhh.. how "Horrible" those Photo's are !!!! :o Not!
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I freely admit I do a light amount of yoga, not every day and not in any structured class. I do the positions that work for me and keep from aging faster than I am (those unscheduled landings in a helo do have an effect on the body). I also routinely see a chiropractor, b/c of similar issues to the aging factor. Some things need a gentle push to stay in line, the spine and neck being very important to me...
However, the amount of work my chiropractor had to perform on my neck following that photo shoot. Trust me, it was horrible, my high school pictures and being a wrestler (American Federation aka, High School / Collegiate style as well as Freestyle with the once great Dan Severn for a coach)....
The point, that photo shoot sucked and we both hurt the rest of the day and the following morning. I endured it for her, but she and I both wanted to kill the photographer.
Other news.... I just found out my parents, who have committed to going to the wedding still have not bought plane tickets. I am beginning to feel a little jilted here. Mom is happy that I'm happy, but apparently the planned money for the plane tickets disappeared and now dad has new golf clubs. Which I have to support mom's frustration, considering he was given a brand new set of the top of line Taylor clubs last spring. I think mom has every right to threaten him repeatedly and he's acting stupidly about it and then wonders why, after I found out about the clubs, he is getting no sympathy from me or any of my siblings...
Life is often filled with ridiculous drama and at the moment I am trying to find out why I haven't heard from my lovely wife the last couple days. I'm hoping it isn't some problem with what we have learned already... I am honestly worried and it is affecting my work. Granted, I suddenly have no clients and it's tax season... which also has me worried.
Everyone please pray, while I try to get in contact with my beautiful Yuan.
Lloyd
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Ok, wow, yeah, time flies, I haven't been here and we've been taking care of "things"
The good news, the medical issue that arose is taken care of. In light of the event that happened, her mama is happy to know that when we want to, we can give her grand-babies.
The joyous news, 我们的婚礼！ My parents and sister came along, they had a riot of a time. I can hear my sister laughing the whole time on the video. with the occasional mom giggle and dad chuckle. I'll be posting pics and there's a homevideo being edited on the computer over the next few days. The big formal Day was March 16. It went off without a hitch, but the next day after we got settled at the house, the *ahem* agency called asking for money. Apparently grandma is the one running her mouth. Mama has been ripping her every day since. She did apologize to me, twice. I'm still not impressed and still not happy.
The bad news, we're back on with the long f*g wait. You all know which one. In the meantime, enjoy the pics.
Oh, I found a new hobby in China. I'll post a pic from my class. Our friend owns owns one of the English schools in the county, he has 4 schools, I'm getting my TEFL/TESOL (as we speak). We've agreed on a price (no, I'm not telling any of you, it's my cash cow) and I'll sign the contract when I come back in June and I'm teaching for 4 months (then I have to get back and prep for tax season.
The wife and I are also planning a business enterprise in Michigan. She wanted to do a foot spa, but upon further investigation, it's not practical in my area. So we are going to open a tea shop. Of which, there are no actual tea shops in Lansing and 4 malls with open store fronts. We're going for the mall that's anchored with the rich neighborhood and some high end restaurants. Seems logical and the only other place claiming to be a tea "anything" is next to the campus of MSU and is sandwich shop claiming to be a tea house. None of the Asian or middle-eastern students go there, so they must only serve bag tea. I have not yet visited the establishment, simply b/c the Chinese grocery I go to badmouthed them. That's reason enough to think we can sink them with a proper tea shop.
So, as promised, pics....
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I'm a trying, it only let me do one after I shrunk them down.
so here's the next one....
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the next one is for Willy, ;D
one of the interludes while we changed clothes
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this is my class....
bunch of good kids, outstanding and respectful to the teacher, hands never went down....
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So to give more details on this trip and the events that happened, I shall attempt a proper update for you. However I am time limited b/c we are going to the new 'hot spring' park in Handan. If you're curious John, it's out by the freeway and I understand completely indoors.
So it took some time to get my dad to realize he needed to buy his and mom's tickets for the airport. I took care of their hotel reservations. However here in Handan, dad's cards only worked at the ATM, which was a bit obnoxious at the hotel. He still owes us about $200. Which her mama is a little concerned about. No worries for me, he will take care of it today. He couldn't find the deposit slip I left on my home desk (in plain sight, where my laptop normally sits, directly in front of my home printer).
Aside from the slow Tax season I am experiencing. I'm guessing b/c I turned a guy in for an Audit (he wouldn't give me all the required documents and there is only one way an accountant can protect himself and his fellow accountants, after all, we do talk to one another). The common case of the IRS doesn't care how Americans make their money, only that they claim it. When you tell your accountant, after he accepts you as a client, that you may also have made some money in 'questionable' business dealings and that's how you paid cash for your new car and fishing boat, you have to tell the accountant and IRS how much money you made doing so. Again, the IRS doesn't care 'how' you made the money, only that you pay your taxes. The FBI/DEA/ATF and other law enforcement groups care, but that is not the IRS' concern on the matter.
The worst thing that happened, as I'm sitting in the airport in Detroit, preparing to fly to Beijing, I receive word from my friend (brother and best friend from my army days) he is sitting in Narita(Tokyo), the Chinese authorities deported him, b/c his bloody travel agent gave him a stinking Hong Kong visa, not a PRC visa. Now he lives in Portland, OR, so I understand his desire to let the agent, who is apparently attached to Delta airlines, handle the matter of the Visa, b/c Portland to Frisco is not a one day deal. Unlike my going to Chicago. I partially blame myself, I should have double checked with him that he did indeed have a PRC visa and made him show me via cam his visa. The real ripper, They confiscated his alcohol and tobacco which he purchased the tobacco at a local reservation for even cheaper than I get them at any of the res' in Michigan. The alcohol really pissed him off, b/c he had purchased two magnums of Johnny Walker.... They also confiscated all the documents from the Airlines that had cleared him for travel to Beijing. I'm guessing that was damage control, b/c he's got a lawsuit pending. Just small claims, but the lawyers hate small claims more, they have to do something, there's no delaying small claims courts.
My poor parents, I dropped them off in Flint at 4AM, they were supposed to fly to Cleveland then DC and to Beijing. The airline canceled the Dulles flight and the were rerouted to Atlanta, then Chicago, but they made it there ok and Dad had called me in Detroit from Atlanta, they were to join my sister on her flight to Beijing. Sister ran to the Atlanta gate, met them. Fortunately, it was only three gates down from the Beijing flight. Without my brother awaiting them in Beijing, they decided to wait in the airport for my flight to arrive, (I did Air Canada this trip, DTW-YYZ-PEK) and I have to say, I like. Still get my miles too, thank you Star Alliance.
We didn't even make it to the elevator when a guy from the Beijing taxi company with a Buick van approached us, asked how many, where to and we were good. We definitely had too much baggage for regular taxi and I didn't want to take my parents through the Beijing subway at rush hour. Not pretty, besides, my sister is claustrophobic and the train station was rough enough for her. My beautiful bride could not meet us in Beijing, her mama said so, b/c she needed to complete certain pre-wedding rituals. They accomplished them all one day early so they could spend the day before the wedding with my family.
At the hotel, we had an issue with my and my parents rooms. I had booked them online and prepaid. The hotel didn't receive the reservation from Agoda, first time issue for me. Took about thirty minutes to resolve, always good to have girls at the desk hear you say, but my wedding is in two days and we have reservations and paid for Suites. We didn't get suites, but they did get us taken care of. The ticket agency I use for the train tickets had dropped off our tickets, but the hotel put them under my brother's name. His name 'O' our name 'P', so moderate confusion, until they realized I was asking for 5 tickets and they had 5 ticket unclaimed, b/c that person had never checked in. I told the concierge what happened and they were very understanding. Check our passports and gave me the five tickets.
We went around the corner from the hotel, found a place that had noodles without mushrooms (dad is severely allergic). Mom said the noodles were too spicy (saw that one coming).
Everyone crashed and the next morning I drug everyone into BeijingXiZhan, fun experience, I grabbed mine and mom's bags and ran up the stairs for the walkway. Dad said I was going to fast, until he realized we had just bumrushed security and he was holding back proably about 200 people who were all getting angry with him at the bag scanner. ;D No breakfast yet, b/c we were taking the 8am train to Handan(Hankou D121). We found our waiting room, piled our bags together, grabbed mom and dad, sis watched the bag mound while we ran over to a bakery and got some pastry for breakfast (dad discovered Chinese Egg Tarts :o and is now asking for me to bring some home. Dad's main complaint, no good black coffee, we introduced him to Long Qing tea, he's ok now. Met up with a friend of mine and Yuan's who owns the English school I will be teaching at this summer. He found out I was getting my TEFL/TESOL and went back to Beijing after the wedding to get certified for Foreign Teachers. Arrived in Handan at 12, mama and friends drove the whole lot of us to lunch at arguably the best KaoYa place in Handan, Jin-something, they are a Beijing company, so thus, the best 'Beijing KaoYa' in Handan. I tend to agree after eating at a few KaoYa joints around town. Dad, who hates duck, loved it. My sister still said it was greasy, but she just did a huge detox/weight loss system that had next to no fat and no starches. It sounds insane and people think you're starving when you do, but I've done it and I will be doing it again with her after I return from this trip.
I don't remember where we went for dinner that night, it was blur after the check-in, I know the next day, I ran down to get breakfast b/c of all the wedding, no food to eat until late that night stories that I have seen, read and heard around the internet. When I got back to the room, uncle (actual mama's brother) was waiting with a photographer and a video camera.... "oh, we get to watch the groom get dressed on the wedding video?" :o
So we did the getting ready thing, grabbed the ring, the flowers and proceeded to find my dad (warning him about the cameraman) he and I went out side the hotel. A few minutes later mom and sis joined us. Then we went over to Congtai for some pics. I'll post a couple later, my sis has them on her computer and we have not yet received the ones from the studio yet. Mom and sis were 'thrilled' to walk all over Congtai, in heels, formal gowns and me and Teacher(our friend who played translator for us) explaining that this was my family and the wedding was yet to happen. Someone finally got my sister a flower and people realized she wasn't the bride. :-\
Few more pictures and videos, the cars pulled up, Mercedes, I thought she said we were doing BMW or Audi, I tried arguing for Buick's, b/c dad is a GM retiree. He knows I tried, he was happy. My sister had to get pictures of the circus known as decorating the grooms car.
Pile into the cars, pull out, fireworks, slow caravan, long way around to the house (through a hole in the back fence apparently reserved for wedding caravans).
Oh, mama and Yuan said it's time to eat, I'll post more tonight....
Lloyd
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congradulations sounds like you had a good time.Best wishes to you and your lovely wife.
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ok, to continue....
So the caravan arrived at the house, more fireworks, confetti canons when I climbed out of the car. They brought my parents into the house with me. My helper (our friend who owns the school) wanted to take the stairs, but the wedding coordinator at the house, pushed us to the elevator, good thing, nine floors is long way in a tux.
Arrived at the door, no games until we were in the house. My parents were ushered to the couch, my sister in the chair next to them. Lots of pictures being taken, people oggling my sisters hair and the material of her dress. Down the hall to mama's room. I guess Yuan's (our) room isn't large enough for the party, or the number of people in the house. Two games at the bedroom door, first "Who is going to do the laundry?" They loved my answer, "We both will do the laundry, b/c some days, Yuan will be tired and I will do it for her and other days, I will be busy at work." Happy chatter, giggles at the concept of a man doing laundry. Next game, sing a song with the word "love" and I drew a total blank.... .... "tell Yuan you love her" So I shouted out "Yuan, wo ai ni!" more giggles, the door opened and there she was. magnificent, beautiful and just jaw dropping in appearance. Last game, find the shoes. Found the shoes, it wasn't hard to find them.
So we proceeded to the living room, lots of pictures, none on my camera, so I can't share those just yet. I was saved the joy of the Handan face painting, b/c Yuan and her mama take claim to be dongbeiren, not Handanren. Mama and her family are from Shandong (Rizhao) and her father's family is from Liaoning.
More pictures yet again. We finally proceed downstairs to the car, more confetti canons and fireworks. Pictures of us getting into the car, waving from the car and another slow caravan to the restaurant.
The simple part I could handle easiest and her friends joking the whole time, "Hello, thank you for coming." The big shock to us, her father did actually come to the wedding, he was smiling, shook my hand happily with a grin... :o and here he was totally against our wedding in the first place. The bad news, her nainai is apparently ill and could not make the wedding, we are going to see her this week. So we finally went up the dinner hall. People smiling saying "Hi!/Hello!" pictures with the bride and groom. We had about 250 people at a lose count. We were reimbursed for the wedding (red envelops) We actually came out ahead, made mama happy, made me happier, because mama sank enough money into the wedding to make me cry and grow a couple white hairs. Our dinner alone was roughly $2500 US. which considering what feeding 250 people in America costs, we did good there. The final bill for the wedding came out to about $12K US. So we might as well have had a wedding in America... but I'm not gonna complain, because the day went off without a hitch. We were introduced, exchanged rings, drank wine (grape not baijiu). Cut the cake, poured champagne and then went to change, cue the entertainment, (Willy, I know you would have loved those girls) there were three singing acts. I saw the tail end of the third act. Heard part of the second act. Never saw the girls, except in pics and on video from my dad... He said they were great and when he said so, mom scowled at him.
We did the tea service for the parents, there is a great pic that I have to upload from my sister, her dad has this look of total dismay on his face as the tea was coming out.
She opted for "special bridal tea" I still got to do a few shots at some of the tables.
Everyone seemed happy and Yuan grinned like a cat all day long.
People started to go, I helped her change again. We left for the hotel, some of the family greeted us there. Went upstairs at the hotel, representative of my house of course. relaxed for a bit, went to dinner with my parents and her mama. sent the bulk of our stuff with mama to the house and went back to the room.
Yeah, we all know what happened after that, so no details, sorry guys.
We spent a couple days shuffling my family around Handan, seeing the sites. The day before they left, it got cold. I mean, it was snowing cold. Sis has pictures to prove it. We all got a laugh about that. My parents wanted to buy kites for my nephews, I married the right girl, she beat my dad to the punch. He is notorious for grabbing the check at dinner, buying things unexpectedly and such. The Kite vendor handed my dad the kites and dad asked how much... Yuan just started laughing and I couldn't help but join as dad got this look of shock on his face that she had already paid for the kites.
We also took my parents and sis to a real Chinese tea shop. After seeing one, they agree, the mall I've chosen for our shop is perfect and we should do very well with a shop there. Especially on Friday and Saturday nights in the summer and fall. Dad played tourist, snapping pics, but told me he would check with a few people we know about the shelving. We also got dad to drink and say he liked Tea... :o ... he hates tea... :o
Long Jing, he's hooked, damn that's an expensive habit, but if he'll drink it, that's all the better. Mom found two trays that match her living room tables (Italian black marble from a green vein in the rock. She didn't buy them, but I know she wants one. It's an idea for a Christmas gift this year.
We still have 4 cases of baijiu and a case of smokes following the wedding. :-[ don't know what we're going to do with those. I told her I would take a couple bottles with me. I know some people I haven't killed with it yet ;D
Thus, our fun filled wedding week. my parents and sis took the train to Beijing, dad was thrilled that the hotel had a western restaurant. sis got a little peek at Wangfujing and the next day they all went to the airport and headed out home.
So now the part we all just despise and loathe, we return to the wait for her visa. My parents said after meeting her, they definitely want to co-sponsor her visa. Which is awesome, because dad's name carries the weight of political friends. However, we all know that in the end, that doesn't mean squat. It's all up to whoever does the interview in Guangzhou. Right now we are hoping she can have her interview before the end of summer. With my plans to come and teach this summer, we are also planning a weekend in Korea, b/c I have two friends there, one is in Seoul and the other is in Pyongtaek. Flights from Beijing to Inchon are on the cheap, which is good. My friend in Seoul would be a short visit, while we see a couple of the sights. The friend in Pyongtaek is an Army buddy, I trained him years ago and now the little bastard done went and become an officer, just got his second promotion in the officer ranks, so I have to give him hell about that one. Just wait until my lovely bride finds out what soju is :P
For now, that's all, I'll try and get a link to the video when I post it, probably on that Tube site. For now, I have her hooked on Facebook. Which she's a QQ addict anyway. She loves the games, all the silly little games. She even more likes the fact that I did the family plan for the VPN, so both computers and both iPhones can now access any website that doesn't bring all the global authorities attention.
I've even taught her how to clean out her caches and gave her a couple cleaning programs to scrub out the spyware and of course China's markers for her using VPN.
She hasn't told her mama she has access to the full internet yet. I'm guessing b/c she thinks mama will want to shop somewhere beside taobao.
Later for now
Lloyd
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Crikey Lloyd I need a days rest and I only red about your adventures haha.
It sounds like you had the time of your life though and I'm glad for you and Yuan ,it all worked out well for you.
I tell you what , I'm a very patient man ( you have to be to go through the visa process ) but i think you take the cake when it comes to patience, somewhere through that hole process of getting everyone organised to your wedding and everything Else that was going on I would have spat the dummy I'm sure.
It must be a huge relief for you to just kick back and relax with your beautiful wife after all the dust had settled.
It's funny, I've never been a fan of big weddings but I have been riveted to your story all the way, you made me feel like i was there with you and I thank you for that.
If only I could tell a story as good as you, I would write book about my own experiences.
Thanks for the story Lloyd, can't wait to see the photos.
Cheers
Leeroy
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Part 1 and now part 2 , Congratulations to you and Yuan and to all that helped pull of a marvelous wedding feast , it did feel like we were there just being flies on the wall reading it , so enjoy , kick back and relax , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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Lloyd and Yaun, Congratulations with the special day going off without a hitch, Wow what an update, You must have spent hours writing it, I hope the visa goes well for you both and I know waiting sucks, Only a week left for me now and I will once again set foot in Handan. MinYing and John.
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Yeah, we all know what happened after that, so no details, sorry guys.
If it was what happened to Qing and I.. I'm Sorry! NOT!
Very nice Wedding update for us, for you two.. it can never be duplicated! Wonderful X 1000 ! Can't wait for some Pict's and thanks for letting this Forum be part of your "Life's" moment.
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What a fantastic update! I really enjoyed reading that. Congratulations, and may you have a wonderful life together.
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A big congrats :)
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my apologies for the absence, been busy, almost ready to pull my hair out at times. So the important bit, I'm back in Handan, for an extended stay, I'll teaching part time at a friend's private school. mostly teens, but I've come to realize, a classroom full of Chinese teens, whose parents are paying for them to be there, is far more appealing than a classroom full of American teens, whose parents paid and told them they had to go, but don't give a care anyway.
I've actually been back a couple days, her mama has been really hands off this trip so far. I'm a little shocked, she's all about going out with her friends and whatever her work/project is. I know she decided to not try reopening her clinic/seniors home, following the forced condemn. Ironically, the building is still standing. Haven't heard from laolao either, no shame there, the less she meddles, the happier my beautiful wife is. I'll upload a fresh pic later, right now, we are preparing to go out for the evening. We are actually hanging out with her friends now, one of them is begging me to introduce her to someone, "we"(the two of us) told her we would ask. This is that friend that she calls little sister, because they really are like good sisters, a lot alike. So yeah, I have sent messages to a couple guys, who might fit the bill and be able to do her friend right. I've told them all, I won't introduce her to a guy, just because he has money and good job, he has to be a good man. They seem to appreciate that.
until later,
Lloyd
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ok, so here we sit, I've been busy running around to different schools. I learned today, our friend, who is now my boss/friend, used to translate for the agency and they screwed him on pay. I'm going to talk to him about the issue we just posted.
So, it's been busy, mostly good, until the last couple days... we haven't gone many places, but we are looking at a side trip to HK next month. Her mama reopened her shop, now it's a beauty spa (facials and such). She's working at mama's shop, I don't have a set schedule during the week, so we have a hard time getting to figure out when we are going anywhere.
The good news, we're together. I'll be damned if the agency is gonna pull some crap on us.
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forgot to update everyone, my darling wife thought I was missing my dog, who is with my folks back in Michigan, which yes, I miss my dog, he's well behaved, likes almost every human being and dog, but hates cats, I always considered that a plus.
Anyway.... she started the pity party for herself, not having her dog anymore, had to give it up, can't wait to have a new dog (I'm thinking, great, better call the vet back home and start arranging for quarantine in Chicago/Detroit, depending on flight availability. DTW would be a considerably more convenient location... long story short, yeah... she won the pity fest, you all knew she would
I have to resize the pics. new camera I bought before coming over is 16MP, so all the pictures are overkill quality. I just had to make dad jealous... his is 12.
So we have a fluffy white thing, his name is "Lucky" and like all puppies, he really needs to get the housebreaking thing down...
Aside from that, we're just living our lives, contentedly. Her friends are openly telling her they are jealous, she's got a husband, a puppy, and after all the trouble this weekend, we're happy Laolao won't be around once she gets Stateside. Even mama agreed, Laolao visiting us in America would never be worth the nightmare migraines she would give us. Besides she's too busy scamming people and aggravating her children.
For now, that's my big update. We have had her single friends start to ask if I have any available friends... oh well...
Lloyd
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Ok, well, we've discussed the agency thing, that's a moot point and a dead issue and now we can move on with life.
Interesting thing, two days to QiXi and mama told my wife today, b/c she's a newlywed, she can't can't go out that day... :o
Apparently, my wife is not to go out at all, can't see any mirrors, watch TV, movies, use the internet, not jack. She's to sit inside and do nothing.
So I'm sitting inside with her. She's also not to see any pregnant women, babies, or rabbits (animals and people).
I'll do the shopping tomorrow, so we don't need anything on the 23rd, I'm annoyed, I was planning dinner out. To give her a couple gifts.
Ironically, mama is a rabbit, she's apparently going out tomorrow night and not returning until the 24th...
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Yeah, I don't know what else to say there. Other news, the kids are gone back to school, so I have no classes, as I'm just with one of the "private" schools, as my mom so lovingly puts it. So I have nothing to do until I return stateside on Sept 20th.
Well, I've something to do, but you can all bugger off, you know I don't give those kind of stories.
Lloyd
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Well, I've been busy and in the final days in Handan this summer, have not come to an end. I'm still in Handan, which is not all bad from my perspective, but there are some slight problems that I could use a little help and advice on.
First, Why am I still in Handan? My school was supposed to take a trip to HK back in August, we didn't, they canceled at the last minute, and I forgot about something. The 90 day something... Needless to say, I was not allowed to check in at the airport and had to retreat to Handan, b/c people in Beijing were being rather rude about the situation. Especially with none of the airlines being able to reschedule my departure prior to mid October. So the Customs/Immigration guys were giving me the stink eye.
I should have posted here sooner, but I was seeking some local help and the locals did what they could. Along the way I've made a new friend or two, who have stated that I am not allowed to tell anyone I know them, or that they gave me any advice or direction on what to do.
In December, I will be going to HK, per the guidance given me, by the people I do not know and who never knew anything about any foreigners stranded and technically in Handan as illegal aliens. (Does this mean I'm a wetback now? Oh wait, I didn't swim here.) The area I might now need some assistance, I'm having difficulty locating what I need to locate online. That being fees and forms for applying for a new visa in HK. The website I found for the Foreign Ministry in HK says non-HK residents are to apply in their home country. Yet they have a schedule fee for Bulgarians???
So, any guidance would be greatly appreciated. As we've already changed our plans so that I can remain here until March. Hey, why not? I'm already here. I know, either way, I have to pay a fine when I leave China. I was directed towards HK, b/c it's where they send foreign teachers, whether they need a tourist/work visa b/c of an oops and reportedly they are not into the stink eye bit like up the road in Beijing.
Thanks for you help in advance.
Lloyd
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Your confusing me a bit Lloyd! How are you going to get through immigration to get to Hong Kong without paying the fines etc?
There is a visa office within the airport at Hong Kong. I passed detail of it to another who used it. I have put below part of a PM he sent me after using it.
'When I arrived in HK, I found the visa service easily enough. People there speak English.
One important point of information: The rush service does not return the visa until after 19:00. So schedule flights accordingly. Since I arrived after the 11:00 cut off time you mentioned I just expected to wait until the following day to pick up my new visa.
But since there were no late afternoon (20:00+ departures to Guilin) I made arrangements to stay two nights in a hotel and leave on Friday.
Also a heads up: Six month rush visa = $3300 HK ($425 USD).
So, in the future, all I must do is fly to HK, go through HK immigration, get back on a plane fly back to mainland china and I am legal for another 90 days. '
I have had my own problems with the PSB so I always ensure that I go to renew my visa at the PSB office in Zhongshan at least two weeks before it expires.
Willy
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Ok, so first thing, is to get back with the people who told me I wouldn't be blacklisted and verify that I can/won't get blacklisted. As I was told that if I go to HK, I won't be blacklisted. I did expect to pay the fine of 5000RMB (roughly $800USD), I figured there's no way around that. It just pissed me off in Beijing, b/c I've never been able to pull more than 2500 out of an ATM anywhere in China.
As for getting back to the local sources here, as stated, I was told that after speaking with them, I cannot say they told me so. They said to not go to the local PSB b/c I went over, the soonest we were able to arrange for travel to HK, was December. This is beyond 60 days overstay.
I kind of put myself in a pickle, being that I only bring two cards with me to China. One is an emergency account, and the other is restricted. I leave the rest of my finances at home, and actually have it set up so I can only access them from my home in the US. At the time, and still for the most part, I consider this a necessary security factor, b/c I'm in China and I can't risk losing that money. Sadly, I used to be able to pull money from one of those accounts on paypal and send it to the other two accounts that I have cards for. however, after paypal opened up in China, they locked down my account, claiming that I was not me and that I was trying to steal from myself. I had to send a couple nasty emails, to release the funds that were there. I no longer have access to paypal and until I return the US, I can't fix my paypal account.
The twisted side of my family, I was told, I dug the hole, I fell in the hole. They love me, but I know the rules. Falling into holes is one's own responsibility.
They will however send me care packages with toothpaste, dental floss and the soap and shampoo that I use. Dad is also sending me coffee, out of pity, b/c the coffee around here is all instant. I guess that's one nice thing.
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oh, forget to mention, we are going to HK, via train. again, advice of those I have spoken with locally. If I fly, I will have to go through Beijing, or Shanghai to get to HK. I was guaranteed to be blacklisted by going through either of those airports. That's why I was told to take the train and do the new visa in HK.
Lloyd