China Romance
All About China => Your trip to China => Topic started by: brett on April 20, 2013, 12:52:54 pm
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Hi Guys,
Thought I'd drop by to see how you guys were doing.
The old guard might remember me - I was quite active here back in 2009, until it all crashed and burned :(
One day I thought it might be a good idea to find a Chinese wife, so I signed up to Chnlove, met a girl I liked, then went to visit her in Wuhan.
Well seriously I had bitten off way more than I could ever chew!
So Miss Woo entered my life, turned it upside down them went off to marry a rich American dude with 6 cars. My world ended for a few months, but she was confined to history the day I dated a gorgeous curly haired Japanese girl.
Since then... well I have gone on to have a truly momentous couple of years.
Anyway, I had some great help from this board at the time. Maybe I drove a few guys mad, but we really were pioneers at the time. It's still very rare for Chinese women to marry foreigners. Still, at least my Chnlove girl actually existed, and I had a truly extraordinary time visiting her.
Back then, Willy's adventures living in China stuck a chord. And I began to realise that trying to look for a wife in a 2 week vacation was just not possible.
So here I am...
Earlier this year, I quit my job, sold most of my possessions and I am now living in China.
I've been in Guangzhou for 2 months now, and I'm loving every minute of it!
Why Guangzhou? My first visit to China was to Wuhan, and I really didn't like that city. There was nothing to do there really, and I kept getting sick all the time.
By contrast, Guangzhou is an amazing city, and most foreigners who come here love the place. It's a shame I didn't come here on my first visit to China. In fact I nearly did back in 2009, but Miss Woo couldn't find a train ticket, so I ended up visiting her in Hubei instead.
I visited Guangzhou twice in 2011. Now I am a resident here.
So what am I doing here?
As you guys might have found out, it's really hard to get a Chinese visa now. Since the government here changed, they've really cracked down.
Your best options for a long term stay are to come here as a student, or to come here with a job offer.
I chose to enrol here as a student at a University, and I'm learning Mandarin. I have 10x 80 minute classes a week from 3 different teachers. The cost is around 9000RMB a semester (2 per year).
By being a student I've been able to rent a pretty cheap 2 bedroom student apartment (1200RMB/month excl. bills). By comparison most apartments here are 3000-5000RMB/month, although they're mostly 2-3 bedroom places. Most apartments here are quite big, and designed for families.
My apartment is quite basic, and the Chinese WC doesn't even have a flush. I'm also fighting a constant battle with the wildlife. Who knew cockroaches could fly? Yikes!!! Also the mosquitoes that come down from the mountain are also the biggest I've ever seen. They find ever more creative ways of sneaking into my apartment, and I've caught at least one hiding in my shopping bag.
If you don't want to study, then demand for English teachers here is very high. I've turned down all job offers so far - learning Mandarin is hard enough work, and so is finding ladies to date. Plus working on a student visa is not recommended.
As far as ladies go, I've met quite a few now. Last week was a watershed moment, because my Mandarin was better than the girl's English.
Current frontrunner is Miss Xiang. She is a princess for sure, but now I'm here I can take my time and woo the most desirable ladies of all.
I am very impressed with the quality of lady I've met in China now. Every lady has been a graduate, and most have spoke fluent English. A couple have also been very wealthy, so they're not marrying for money. Most ladies I've met have have been Cantonese or from Hunan.
One interesting factoid is that in 2 months here I've seen less than a dozen foreigners with Chinese wives/girlfriends. Dating a foreigner here is still groundbreaking, and very novel.
As to my own future, well I feel like a refugee from the UK. Reading the news from home is often a depressing experience. Additionally, given how hard it is to get a marriage visa for a foreign spouse, I might end up just living here instead. And of course it cuts out any visa hunters. Not that I've met too many of them.
Anyway, if any of you guys are thinking of living here for a while... just do it!
Every day is action packed here. Today my friend and I went to a Chinese singles party! 150 single Chinese girls and I was the only foreigner. And it didn't cost us a single RMB.
But this is China, so there had to be some chaos thrown in of course! Coming back home, the bus got stuck in traffic. Fortunately the bus driver let us out, and we went in search of a metro station. So we were walking through 3 lanes of traffic like people routinely do in China, and at one point I got my umbrella caught on the roof of a moving bus... yikes. To make matters worse all this took place in a good old traditional Guangzhou thunderstorm! Anyway, in the rush to get out of the rain and avoid ruining my shoes I jumped out of the road and ended up standing in wet cement!!! Only in China...
Maybe tomorrow I'll return to see what I ruined!
Anyway, if any of you guys are thinking of coming here and need assistance then I'll be only to happy to help. I'm living in Baiyun district and I'm only 20 minutes from the airport. I also know a long list of good hotels, English translators and of course single ladies! I also know the city pretty well and can tell you where to buy anything from an Alligator to Heinz Baked Beans. The majority of Western expats don't dare come up to this part of the city, but if you do venture here, well the ladies are out of this world :-*.
And if you have any questions about what it's like to live here, ask away...
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Hey brett,
Guangzhou is a mixed bag. For me it was fun for a while but the Guangzhou men drove me crazy. I lost my temper more and more often the longer I stayed there. I still miss it. I love the shopping and most of all the girl watching. I made a lot of friends there and was sad to say good bye but I just could not live there.
Damned right they can fly. they can carry off a potato if your silly enough to leave it out. And they are aggressive if you piss them off. The bigger ones will charge you if you spray them with poison. I kept a large can of RAID in the kitchen and another in the bathroom.
I recommend getting yourself a mosquito net. It made a world of difference to me. otherwise they will eat on you all night long. and wake you up when they make a strafing run across your face and land in your ear. Not much can be done about them though during the day they hide just about anywhere and come out in the evening before bed. You can find mosquito zappers all over Guangzhou but most don't attract them. I think they use the wrong color of light. The best and most fun thing for them is the hand held zapper. Sort of looks like a tennis racket is electrified. If you mange to hit one he burst into flames. (brings a whole new meaning to the term "payback" ) . You can buy them every where.
Another form of wildlife you probably have not met yet is the monster spiders and the nocturnal lizards. One night I heard a commotion in the bedroom and could see the silhouette of something running across the wall. When I turned on the light there was one of these monster spiders chasing a lizard on the wall. Well I killed the spider (scared to death) and the lizard ran away without so much as a thank you. I know there are more spiders lurking in the house. At least one behind the wardrobe, because sometimes at night I can hear him munching and crunching on a roach.
If your in Baiyun you can probably get supplies from Walmart which is in Wanda Plaza shopping mall lower level. (the locals call it O-a-Mar)
If you can read Chinese or have the patience to brows with a translator you can get just about anything you want at http://www.amazon.cn/ (http://www.amazon.cn/) (Amazon.com ). They have a distribution warehouse in Guangzhou and most things are delivered within 1-2 days. ( I bought an electric oven from them one evening and it was sitting on my doorstep the next morning before breakfast.) You are almost guaranteed that what you buy there is much better quality than what you can find on the sidewalks of GZ and there is a return policy you wont find elsewhere in China.
Wanda plaza has mosquito nets but amazon.cn are cheaper.
Maybe you already know but if you want to know where all the good wholesale shopping is let me know. Clothes, jewelry, watches, telephones and electronics.
I hope you still feel the same way a year from now. I will come check on you and see if you are still alive in a few months.
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:o :o ??? :o :o :-\ :-X
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Hi Brett
I am glad you made my little secret public. There have been people who have asked about you in the past but until you came out of the closet today, so to speak, I had not breathed those three little words - Brett Is Back! ::)
Now your here then I am sure we all look forward to hearing in lucid detail how you find Chinese life when actually living here and having to fend for yourself. Well at least for the moment.
Well as I said the other day, get some time away from Uni and you can and make use of our spare room and see just how married life is for a foreigner in China.
Willy
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Hi Guys,
About the bugs, yes I got a mosquito tent for my bed, and I put a net up on the door. One mosquito did go inside the tent though! And yes, the electrified tennis racquet is absolutely the best thing for dealing with bugs - it's very satisfying to see them meet a fiery end. Last night in the Pizza place a girl was even using one to beat a huge moth to death.
I'm learning to be patient here, really patient. I don't let it bother me when Chinese people try and push in front of me to be the first to enter/leave the metro/bus.
Actually it's the Arabs here who have been the biggest nuisance so far. One tried to make money off me within an hour of my meeting him, and another one wanted to borrow a load of money :(.
Naturally I know about the wholesale markets. I can pretty much tell which part of downtown I'm in by what the stores are selling. The markets are potentially a way of making a lot of money, but to be honest a lot of stuff here is just junk, and if you sent a container of duff merchandise to Europe you could be bankrupted. For example my new pair of shoes I bought here only lasted 6 days, and they weren't that cheap either!
The European/US markets for Chinese goods are pretty saturated anyway. Most foreign traders here are Russian/African or from the Middle East.
Most of the students at my University buy stuff online - so much stuff arrives they have a permanent collection point outside one of the dorms. It's actually hard to buy stuff out of the ordinary in stores here. Most stores sell the same old stuff. Rich people buy their stuff in Grandbuy, poor people use a local supermarket. Grandbuy sell slow cookers for 600RMB, I paid 48RMB for mine in the local supermarket. Of course if you want to buy a puppy or a rabbit or a turtle then you can find them for sale in the many unofficial street markets here.
And yes, the girl watching is great. I'll never get tired of that. There's a shopping district 20 minutes from my apartment that's packed with fashion stores and they attract the most fashionable ladies imaginable.
I guess I could go mad here, but then I already knew that from my previous two vacations here. If I find a girl and we set up home together then maybe we'll live out of town, or go to Singapore or HK for a while. There are also some attractive cities along the coast which is another option.
I've been to Shenzhen already. The border with HK is crazy, but from what I've seen the rest of the city it is much cleaner than Guangzhou. Like for example their buses have carpets! There are also a lot more single ladies looking for foreign husbands, but they tend to work long hours and it's hard to schedule dates.
As for stores, I have so many stories already. Highlights have included the class trip to the body check clinic (for the visa), being caught downtown when a monstrous thunderstorm turned day into night and the rain ruined my shoes, plus of course the walks through the 3rd world on the way to the metro station here.
And of course it's great to experience life in a Chinese University. As far as I am aware I am only one of three Brits studying here. More guys should enroll - 80% of the students are girls!
P.S. I'll come and visit you again Willy and see how your Mandarin and your wife's English is progressing!!!!
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Brett,
Wait until your out of the shower drying off and a mosquito lands on your balls. It will be one of the toughest decisions you will ever make.
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Yeah I did go to Japan and met a few ladies there. Unfortunately the best one wore a tiny dress to our date, got a chill, then the flu and I never saw her again. The good thing was that Miss Woo was instantly forgotten the minute I saw this very beautiful Japanese girl!
Well mostly the trip was a failure but it came down to the same problem I'm having in China today, namely that the majority of 30 something single women have, er, issues. There are some real gems out there, but there's often a good reason why they've been left on the shelf. I've had far more success dating the under 30's. The age difference is getting to be an issue though, so maybe I'll bale out at some point and go to Thailand or the Phillies.
Anyway, after coming back from Japan (and missing the tsunami by 99 days) I had a couple of trips to Guangzhou. For me Guangzhou was a revelation - it was a vibrant bustling city with a metro and loads to see and do. So much better than Wuhan was! I also met some fabulous ladies. I met a couple of potential wives, but nobody I felt I wanted to commit to.
During that time my job was going stale so I decided to come and live in Guangzhou for a while. It took me a year to sell my stuff and get things organised. And here I am. I've had absolutely no regrets about quitting my job. Home is now very much where my laptop is. Actually I've been doing very well financially since I got here. I now have a lot of time on my hands, especially since I no longer sit and watch the TV all night like I used to in England. I'm also losing weight, which was another goal I had.
Anyway, I'm glad I came here as it's much easier to find a Chinese wife if you're here. Plus I get to find out a lot more about the culture. Living in the dump that is this part of Baiyun is an interesting experience.
As to my current ladies, well I want to see Miss Xiang again but of course the only girl I want to go on a second date with is proving exceedingly hard to woo. I have another hot prospect, but she lives out of town so it's a bit of an effort to meet her.
Shenzhen is marginally easier for meeting ladies - the place is awash with very smart office ladies. I might well widen the net a bit and look for ladies in other cities. I'm also looking for other ways of meeting ladies. I went to a dating party but didn't see anyone I liked. I've joined a Chinese only dating site but without any English on there it's exceedingly hard to get my profile done. Oh well I'll report back if I get some success there. I've also found a speed dating event, but I need to find time to go to that.
At times I think my life is like Jerry Seinfeld's when he dates the low talker and all those other women with various issues. I met one Sichuan girl last week who was so fierce she practically force fed me the food I didn't want to eat. Well at least she was entertaining :P.
In the meantime, well woman watching is awesome here. There are just so many exotic beauties tottering about town on towering platform heels. Yeah, it's a good place to hang out for a while.
P.S. The mosquitoes here are very aggressive. I got out of my mosquito tent in the night to go to the loo and a mosquito went up my nose. But thankfully being so aggressive they're quite easy to see off with the electric tennis racquet.
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P.S. The mosquitoes here are very aggressive. I got out of my mosquito tent in the night to go to the loo and a mosquito went up my nose. But thankfully being so aggressive they're quite easy to see off with the electric tennis racquet.
Brett I need to tell you this man to man.
You do not stick the electronic tennis raquets up you nose and then press the button. ;D ;D ;D
Willy
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Ha ha ha. I was wondering how much damage they would do to a person. Mine said 2000V on the wrapper, but the handle says it delivers 3000V.
Saw a salesperson demonstrating them by holding a leaf - it looked pretty dangerous!
They will kill roaches, but it takes a few goes. I'll try it on one of those monster flying roaches if I see another one, but by all accounts they're pretty rare. I wished I'd photographed it as it was absolutely enormous.
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Cook it thoroughly on your racquet 'frying machine' and it will make the best part of your next dinner. Add little pepper and a dip in soy sauce. Hmm Delicious ::)
Save the rear left leg though as that makes a fine toothpick.
Willy
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Wow, the weather warmed up, and the pests will start coming inside my apartment again :o. I'd better charge up that racquet. I'm a bit scared to do that, as last time it sparked a bit when I plugged it in. There really is no concept of personal safety in China ;D.
Went on another date today. Yeah, my life really is becoming like Seinfeld. This girl was nice, but she had the deepest voice I've ever heard in a Chinese women. Our date really mirrored the Seinfeld low talker episode. On the plus side, we found a restaurant that does really nice chunky chips.
Still, before I met her I chatted to a couple of cute girls in the park. I'll gladly give them some English lessons for free :P. Getting a bit fed up with online dating these days - some of the best girls are those you meet in real life.
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Get off the computer and into the world. The best learning curve I had was the first few months that I moved here.
Willy
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This girl was nice, but she had the deepest voice I've ever heard in a Chinese women.
:o
Maybe you should have pulled a Crocodile Dundee and see if there are a couple of jewels and a dangler. :D
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I've only been here 11 weeks but it feels like I've always lived here. My life back home feels like a really distant memory. Is it the same for the rest of you expats?
I'm gradually doing more and more stuff here. Yesterday I managed to get my hair cut. Well anyway, now I realise that only men cut hair in China.
I've been out and about an awful lot since I've been here. Today I'm stuck behind the computer because the immense thunderstorm has flooded the road so I'm stuck here. When it rains in China, people just don't go out.
It's not been as hot here as I expected. But the humidity ruins everything. My coat went mouldy, and food doesn't last long. Even my books feel kind of damp. Really only trees and frogs should live here.
Living near the mountain I also see lots of unfamiliar wildlife. Yesterday I found a bright green mosquito. Today my apartment got infested with orange flying ants.
As far as meeting people... I have a trip to a marriage agency lined up. Obviously given the problems with Chnlove I'm a little bit wary of such places, but they assure me there are no fees for meeting one of their ladies. I guess they make their money if a marriage comes out of it, although they do also have a dating site. I don't know if they put ladies onto Chnlove - I guess not as I don't think they've dealt with a foreigner before.
Well who knows, but I don't think much stuff is legally enforceable here. Certainly my rental contract is of no value, as foreigners can't officially live here anyway!
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Yesterday I managed to get my hair cut. Well anyway, now I realise that only men cut hair in China.
What sort of haircut shop do you go to then? The one near me only has women to cut hair and when I have it cut and shampooed and before they dry it I love the way the good looking one says 'Youse wanter d blowy jobby now.'
Willy
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Will, where I lived if you found an all female barber shop it wasn't really a barber shop. 5 girls and only 1 barber chair. What do you think they were doing with the extra help?
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That must be a Zhongshan thing. Never seen women cut hair in Guangzhou. The ones in our local [legit] salon seem to be employed just to show the customers to their stylists.
I saw so much today it's hard to take it all in.
Saw the hawker again who has the amazing water pump in a bag. I'm only learning Mandarin so I can ask him how on earth it works, and how he makes money out of it. My suspicion is that he sells super strong magnets that you can maybe use to stop your water meter from working ;D.
I think I've got a part time job as an English teacher. It was inevitable really, given I'm one of only half a dozen native English speaking students in the whole place. Virtually all the students I'll be teaching are girls. It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it ;D.
Got 77% in my Mandarin test so I might progress to class 2 of 9. At least I don't have the humiliation of getting relegated to class 0.
Found some great beef jerky stuff in the supermarket. Maybe it's only a matter of time before I start buying packets of duck tongues, pork hair and chicken feet.
I saw something new - a load of armed police attending some kind of incident. Maybe a robbery. This neighborhood is a bit rough around the edges, probably because when the old airport was there the place would have been a few hundred feet from the end of the runway. But it's not as bad as the place in Baiyun my date and I ended up after getting on the wrong bus back in 2011.
I'm surprised there aren't more robberies and other incidents here though. The Chinese girls here aren't very streetwise. I often see them crossing the road without looking, and of course there are the many people who walk down motorways, drive bikes towards the traffic or the girls who walk in perilously high platform shoes :).
Saw traffic accident #11 today - Willy leave your new car in the driveway!!!! There's no point driving up here now anyway, I've bought up this Carrefour's entire stock of Heinz Beans so who knows if they'll ever get them in again.
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Cheers for the tip, ChinaBound.
Of course Willy has probably already driven up there and bought up anything worth eating!
Went to a Westerner bar tonight with an American guy who's passing through Gz on the way to somewhere else. They had an impressive menu of Western food including some nice Mexican stuff, but of course it's pretty pricey. Also I've finally found a place that sells cider, but at 60RMB a bottle it'll have to be for special occasions only 8)!
How massive will the culture shock be when I return to the UK in July? I fear it will be so totally huge that I will go mad. I can barely remember living in the UK now - it seems like a distant memory. But hopefully I'll recover my senses enough to pack my suitcase full of stuff that is seriously expensive here. So far I've discovered chocolate and health supplements (especially cod liver oil!) could be good to bring next time, I'm sure there's loads of other stuff.
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You be careful when packing your food stuffs in the UK to bring here! It could end up cheaper to buy here at very high prices than pay the excess charge on overweight suitcases and hand luggage!
When I came back early last year I bought back too much, not all foodstuffs though, and also met up with an over zealous check-in clerk and it cost me over 240 US Dollars in excess baggage. But the second trip in September was with my wife and we could share the load between us.
I am going back for a week next month to attend my eldest sisters birthday and attend to a bit of business and this time there is very little in the way of food stuff that I will need to bring back.
Willy
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Don't worry - I spent ages weighing my suitcase in February :-X. This time will be easier as I can leave a load of stuff here, plus I know what's easy to buy here now.
I don't have much stuff here though. My friend's apartment has boxes full of junk, but I'm enjoying my minimalist lifestyle. Plus if I get fed up with this place I can go live somewhere else.
If you want to maximise your luggage allowance maybe you can buy one of those fabric suitcases the migrant workers use 8)!
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If you want to maximise your luggage allowance maybe you can buy one of those fabric suitcases the migrant workers use 8)!
Have you ever seen how many of those are burst open going round and round at the arrival airports baggage arrival. ;D
Willy
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Nope, I've still much to learn about China :-*. Still, today's lesson learnt was NEVER travel on Chinese Mother's day >:(.
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Well I'm just about hanging in there in this crazy place ;D. 3 consecutive days of thunderstorms, and my apartment's still here!
My Mandarin is getting better and it's great that our class are talking to each other in Chinese, plus a combination of Spanish, French and English. I can now read quite a few bus timetables, and I was pleased to be able to do a big circuit of the city the other day, and all without pre-planning my trip.
Oh, and I seem to have a new lady - Miss Huang :-*.
The latest is that we are going to Macau and/or Hong Kong together. I don't know when but it will probably be super short notice. It reminds me of when I met the stunning Miss Xiang - the first I knew she was coming to meet me was when she phoned me up to tell me she was in Guangzhou East station 8).
Anyway, Miss Huang is very special and much less of a princess than Miss Xiang. She's actually been on my QQ for ages but I kind of overlooked her. My sister thinks she is my best lady so far. As well as having the most spectacular legs ever, she's also great to talk to. She's as fun as Miss Woo was. And she's got that mysterious something that so few women here have.
On the downside she lives in another city and spends incredible hours in work. So it seems I'm back to long distance relationships, lmao. Still, at least we're in the same timezone :D.
Well if things turn out OK I'll bring her to meet Mr and Mrs Willy.
Incidentally, she's from Guangxi and is the first girl I've dated from there. Hmm, maybe this has been an overlooked province?
By the way, if any more guys are coming here I've managed to make contact with an introduction agency with 1000's (maybe millions!) of ladies on their books. And there are any number of friends/friends of friends I can introduce you to :-* . The standard of lady here is just incredible ;D.
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Probably disappeared again in embarrassment.
Willy
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Management rule # 1
"If they are looking for you....hide.
"If they find you....................lie
8) 8) 8)
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Management rule # 1
"If they are looking for you....hide.
"If they find you....................lie
8) 8) 8)
Wow. So I have been following the words of the Perth Philosopher for years then. ;D ;D ;D
Willy
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Hi Brett,
I am a newbie, so I am kinda intimidated and careful.... LOL.
I have laughed so hard reading your posts and the "brothers'" answers, I do not remember the last time like it.
Thanks for sharing your experience... Well, I am thinking of getting about 6-9 months off my job, starting Jan 2014, and live in China, learn the language, and experience life as I imagined it would be (tough times included).
Well, I am stuck with ChinaLove because of the large amount of $ and resources I "invested" there... i kinda know that I've got to stop kiddin' myself and quit this sh..! But, it is hard man, just like gambling!!! I actually got off gambling when I was young, and wouldn't touch it with a 6-feet pole, but CL is different...
I'd love to meet you in Guangzhou if you are up to it, and if you like scotch, a fine bottle would be on me with great pleasure.
Your "li'll bro" Henry.
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Brett is like the Scarlet Pimpernal. 'They seek him here, they seek him there but where is that damned allusive pimpernal.'
He comes and goes like a 'Will of the Wisp'. But maybe hiding from the authorities now?
He has not visited this forum since his latest exploits were exposed for what they are a couple of weeks back.
Sharing a bottle of Whiskey? When we met up it was a lot of work to get him to share a bottle of beer! Let alone spirit. He is a day dreamer with no interactivity with real women. The lady I set him up with to join us at dinner did not get a word from him all evening and she speaks good English.
Both his blog and website have been taken down now as it contained photos taken in secret of ladies going about their normal day to day activity in the street. Mainly those in shorts, taken from the back showing their butts and legs, and not one of the 'DOZENS of beautiful ladies' he has said he dated in the last couple of months.
He is without doubt a modern day Walter Mitty.
Willy
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Hi Willy,
great to meet you! I've been reading the exchanges... Well, it is on me, as a junior, to bring a single malt scotch along and offer humbly!
I hope to see you and your wife in a wonderful occasion...
Henry
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Do you mean one bottle of scotch won't do, and must carry a second in my handbag just in case?!
Gents, I am humbled by the congeniality and the wealth of information...
I read the "Seven things..." There are new questions in my mind that I never asked before... I see the point now, why take the time to make the choice (or the compromise) that works for me.
One issue that I have come across is the way "pieces of personal information" are manipulated, or just the "imagination" of the lady (or translator) in the on-line match making sites. The total amount of BS in the letters that I have received...
In real person-to-person dating in China, is there the same kind of staggering exaggeration in background, family status, wealth, world travel experience, education...?
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Henry be careful what you wish for. 8) (meeting willy) ;)
That is a bit harsh for someone to say who I have not met.
Willy
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What you have to be careful of is meeting a lady who has had the experience of being involved with a foreigner who has already had several wives sometimes 4 or 5 in some cases. She can be very insistence on sorting out money matters at an early stage. Its a case of twice bitten three times shy so money matters can come to the fore very soon.
From what I hear it is usually only the very young are likely to get involved with one who has that sort of matrimonial history as they figure they may as well make hay while the sun shines. As we know a Chinese woman is quite adapt at telling men what they think they want to know rather than what they should know.
Willy
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Thanks ChinaBound, thanks Willy...
these are good to know, and be prepared for.
Is it OK to suggest the lady to take you to her house? Is there a social etiquette for asking or implying that I would be interested to see where and how she lives. There's lots to learn about a person from their habitats and life styles...
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Thanks ChinaBound, thanks Willy...
these are good to know, and be prepared for.
Is it OK to suggest the lady to take you to her house? Is there a social etiquette for asking or implying that I would be interested to see where and how she lives. There's lots to learn about a person from their habitats and life styles...
Henry
When you meet, and spend a bit of time together, she will almost certainly want you to meet her family...so that they can tell her if they approve of you...especially Mum !!! So you will surely get to see where her family lives. As for her own place (if she does not live at home) then tread softly. Face is a VITAL part of her internal make-up and she will be very cautious of doing anything that may put her at a disadvantage, especially if she lives in a small apartment. Time and patience is best. She will eventually trust you and your intentions and make you welcome in her own home....but take it easy, dont push too hard.
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Thanks David...
very important to keep the good intentions flow naturally, and avoid misunderstandings... I guess it's safer for me to invite her stay in my house when she visits the States.
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Just go with the flow Henry. When she feels the time is right she will open her life up to you. As David E said many may be living away from their home for work purposes and the place where she is temporary living could well be of a lower standard than what she has at her family home.
Also many people working a long way from home will be living in dormitory style accommodation or shared apartments provided by the employer and visiting these may well be a no no.
By the time she is able to obtain a visa to visit the USA that will be some time ahead and you both will have a lot of hurdles to cross so in the meantime you will have got closer if still together. If she can get a visa to visit then living at your house will give her a better idea of what life could be like in the USA.
Willy