China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: Smashinz on May 19, 2013, 12:45:48 am
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Today she invited me to meet her family: Her Father, her Mother, her sister, and her sister's son. This was a major event in our relationship, and it was wonderful. They were all so friendly and nice; I felt as if I was with my own family members. They were all so accepting and sweet to me. They all made me feel like I was part of their family. This is such a huge deal for me, as an American, because before meeting my Chinese girlfriend, I had NO IDEA that such an absolutely wonderful woman existed on this planet! You know, a common American saying is this: "if it's too good to be true, then it's probably not true". But I am telling you this now, that if you find a wonderful Asian woman, then the previous statement "too good to be true" is false, because yes indeed, it's true!! And I am living it right now. And it's wonderful beyond explanation in words.
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That is great news , enjoy , regards Sujuan and Robert .
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I must admit that when i first met my wife's family it was a very daunting experience, I got the third degree off of all of them but things turned out for the best, Every time from then when i returned to China things were a little easier, Getting accepted by the family was difficult but now they all welcome me with happy faces, I have just returned from my 7th or 8th trip to China and this time was by far the best, The whole family communicate more to me including the Aunts Uncles nephews, My wife is from a small rural village where they do not see many westerners, So when i am at the family home there are many visits from the neighbours just to see me ;D, My nephews school mates also come around at lunch time to talk and practice their English, To be welcomed by all of these people is a great experience, John.
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Chinabound, I completely agree with you on this topic. My girlfriend has been in the U.S. for the past two years, on a student visa, so we have had a lot of time together to get to know each other very well. Fortunately, her culture pretty much requires a lengthy courtship period, precisely to avoid the problems you mentioned (failed relationship).
Neither myself, nor my Chinese girlfriend, have found the cultural differences to be a problem. In fact, quite the opposite, these differences have been a great point of interest, and learning, for us both. I am fascinated by her culture, as she is mine.
But all of these things being considered, we are both people, and we both love each other, and we both have the same life goals. So, all is very, very well with us.
L.
Dallas, Tx.
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To: RobertBfrom Aust.......and John 1964;
Thank you so much for replying. I am so excited about my girlfriend, and she is so excited also about me. We have been dating for a long time now, and we are planning to be married later this year. I had no idea such a woman could ever exist in this world. It is truly beyond words, how to express this type of thing? Our relationship has continued to grow as time has progressed, and we are both looking forward to a wonderful marriage and life together.
It is so great to have found this community. . I plan to remain a member here and eventually post some photos (as yall have).
L.
Dallas, Tx.
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I met Miss Woo's family and thought it went well but apparently I did a few bad things. Probably my bank account didn't have enough zeros or my house didn't have a swimming pool.
Mama Woo's cooking was sensational and I wonder if I'll be able to sneak back while her daughter is in the USA :)
Still, it's much easier now I'm here and have much more than just one week to get to know my lady.
The cultural differences are vast though, as demonstrated by my taking a girl to a Hunan restaurant a couple of months ago. She ordered fish soup. She expertly sucked the meat off the bowl of bones, I gutted the inside of my mouth on a piece of fish that had a couple of dozen bones sticking out of it from all directions. Actually if I didn't know any better I'd say the restaurant staff ate the best bits of the fish and gave us the rest.
And just lately I've been offending people by not drinking cups of water given to me in offices - well eventually I'll know the Mandarin for "only Chinese people drink hot water".
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Brett, I'm intending to be rude but you really need to get over Miss Woo. It really isn't fair to the next woman you intend to marry.
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Not sure you are correct Shaun.
It could be that he is WOO-ing so many lady's so maybe he is correct in mentioning Miss Woo as he cannot remember all their names.
Having met up with Brett I am surprised he has not been snapped up already. 8)
Willy
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To: Willy the Londoner,
I am beginning to notice, from reading some of the posts of the other people, that many of the people do not understand the value of the Asian woman and her culture. I am observing various complaints and fixations upon superficial things. Perhaps such superficial ideas are a result of the western culture. In any case, it is quite clear to me, that some of the people here do not actually love their Asian woman, because if they truly did love her, they would be willing to sacrifice anything in order to know and understand her, and her family, and her culture, deeply. I think these things are of vital importance, if you truly love her and want to marry her and give her the best life possible.
On a brighter note, my wonderful girl is returning to my country next week. We talk about marriage, children, family, and our life together, and all the wonderful things we plan to do together. We have also discussed in depth, our roles and commitment to the relationship. It is such a wonderful thing, when you are finally lead to the right person who completes you, as a person.
L.
Dallas, Tx.
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Smashinz, don't get your panties in a wad! You clearly have ms-informed yourself. The men here are willing to travel the earth for these ladies. Time to time we laugh with them, not at them. Nice for you having found your own.
Chris
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I am a little confused (well a lot but that is another story), in your original post you said that she invited you to meet her family and then in your last post you said that she was returning to your country next week. Does this mean that you have only met the family via Skype or QQ or some other video chat? There is a big difference between meeting the family on a social media site and meeting face to face where it is real time. Time to put my Willy hat on; you will need to find out how she brought the subject up with her parents, is this the friend from school or my partner/boyfriend? This is a big difference in Chinese culture, her family maybe under the wrong illusion about the whole situation. I know of one situation where a Chinese student has been here studying with a laowei boyfriend and the parents did not know and after a video chat the relationship was exposed and the parents put an end to it. Just curious is all, good luck to you and your girlfriend with your future plans.
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Oh I'm definitely over Miss Woo, although I yearn to find somebody who was as fun as she was. I think Miss Huang fits the bill, plus she's a lot more attractive :-*. She is doing a great job of displacing all previous ladies from my thoughts. The first date was very successful considering she kept me waiting for 2 hours in 35C heat. Although I know from my dating history that being kept waiting is actually a very good sign :P.
I've met so many fabulous ladies here. Like Miss Wang (1) who I have to thank for originally showing me round what is now my home neighborhood in Guangzhou. And Miss Wang (2) - who kept me waiting 2 hours while she dried her hair! Again she was also well worth the wait.
The nice thing about actually being here is that there's a lot less heartache. If things go well I can spend every effort wooing them, and if things go wrong then I can meet another lady in a couple of days. And it's easier on the ladies as well. So much better than going back home and waiting 6 months for the next visit.
And to Smashinz, well I'm living in China but I can't say I'm much closer to understanding Chinese people. Ah, there's just so much strangeness here :o.
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I have no idea why the last post from Smashinz was aimed at me. Maybe if I could understand the big words then maybe I would know why. ;D
So maybe he can tell me why?
If he was refering to a post I made concerning Brett the maybe he should know that Brett and I are friends and he is invited to stay at my home here in Zhongshan at any time.
Willy
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Yes I was unsure. So what do I know of words that say a lot but mean nothing to me! Whether it was complementary or flattering I know not.
I think maybe we have a young man who has met a Chinese Girl in the USA and has been smitten. If that is the case then he is a lucky man.
If he has not joined her in a trip to China yet then he has a few eyeopeners to come. With China, outside of the tourist locations, you either love it or loathe it. There does not appear to be any half way point.
To find love anywhere is a blessing but to find true love and to live in the place you both love then what more can you want. For me that person is my Chinese Wife and that place is China. I now have an extended family of step children, sisters, grandparent, cousins, nieces and nephews and even more great nephews and nieces. Hence my happiness in China and I look forward to getting my 5 year visa and a party card and living my final years here.
Willy
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To: Willy the Londoner,
I am beginning to notice, from reading some of the posts of the other people, that many of the people do not understand the value of the Asian woman and her culture. I am observing various complaints and fixations upon superficial things. Perhaps such superficial ideas are a result of the western culture. In any case, it is quite clear to me, that some of the people here do not actually love their Asian woman, because if they truly did love her, they would be willing to sacrifice anything in order to know and understand her, and her family, and her culture, deeply. I think these things are of vital importance, if you truly love her and want to marry her and give her the best life possible.
On a brighter note, my wonderful girl is returning to my country next week. We talk about marriage, children, family, and our life together, and all the wonderful things we plan to do together. We have also discussed in depth, our roles and commitment to the relationship. It is such a wonderful thing, when you are finally lead to the right person who completes you, as a person.
L.
Dallas, Tx.
Have you got the temerity to actually imply that I dont really love my Chinese wife.....and that many others on this site are in the same category.....
That is the biggest load of crap that has ever been posted here and believe me, we have seen some crap over a long time.
I, and many others have forgotten more about Chinese culture than you will ever understand, we have made numerous visits to China, lived the local life, lived with our "new" families, bust our guts to try to understand what the differences are between us and agonised over how to bridge the gaps. We have jumped through endless beaurocratic hoops at enormous cost, both financial and emotional to ensure that we can spend the rest of our lives with our loved one. We have done everything in our power to ensure that she has the ability to preserve and maintain her long held Chinese culture and at the same time been totally committed with help and guidance to assist with her integration in a new and strange Country.
We do this openly and willingly because we love our partners...without reservation and without limits....and in return we get the love and loyalty and sweetness that only a Chinese Woman can do !!!
Dont you dare imply that this is all false.......you just dont have the right or experience to mouth off such bullshit.
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Hence my comment, is this just a "summer school fling" that her family in China does not even know too much about? We on here have all done the hard yards and some are still going through them, but we feed off each other and take comfort in the fact that someone on here will know an answer to a problem or we will all nut it out together.
As to the value of an Asian woman, just to look at my wife with our daughter and you will see value that no money on earth can buy.
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Gee!!!!!!! I wish ya'll had opinions on the subject. ;D
Smashinz you might get to know us a little better before making such a comment. Then again if you had taken the time you wouldn't have made it.
Most of us have chronicled our journey on this site. It isn't an easy journey and isn't one that we would wish to change if we could. I have asked myself if something happens between Peggy, my wife, and me if I would take this same journey again and my answer would be a resounding yes. But that isn't going to happen because my wife and I deeply love each other.
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me too thinks this is as Willy says...
“...a young man who has met a Chinese Girl in the USA and has been smitten. If that is the case then he is a lucky man.”
I do not think any slight is intended. Maybe the “Irrational exuberance” of youth. Sort of like finding his pot of gold under the rainbow. Like where the hell are you guys? Look under the rainbow. It's easy! He is lucky man to enjoy his life as his is.
Smashinz is fine. He'll figure things out. Lucky guy. Early China love in life. He has a long journey in life.
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Irrational exuberance, love, infatuation, summer school fling....its all the same stuff. It is in our DNA and I love it. hormones are fun, exciting and funny too. It makes us do stupid things (really stupid things). Like given away houses, 401k plans, and all your tools in an attempt to escape from (Fuck if I know) . I'm sure I was escaping from something. Something terrible that was smothering me and threatening my happiness. And the endorphins and hormones helped me manage my escape. And now I have a steady diet of endorphins. They are running out of my shoes.
Anyone (Smashinz) wanting to make this journey be warned. It is going to hurt (really bad and more than once). It is going to cost you much more than you thought. And there are no guarantees of success.
Someone here once told me that there is no guarantee that my New Chinese wife will be my last. That a horrible thought but if it comes to that then the journey this far has been the most exciting time of my life and I would not hesitate to do it over again.
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I think we just get to a point in our lives...when we have learned what it is we really need, and can't face the thought of living a less than full life. More directly...to have wasted an important aspect of it. That come from experience and self growth, and the realization finally...of what is really important!
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It isn't an easy journey and isn't one that we would wish to change if we could.
Ha ha ha, Shaun you're right here. This could be the toughest journey you'll ever make.
I'm just back from "Man goes on 2nd date with girl to Macau". Only we only get as far as a Zhuhai hotel, have a gigantic misunderstanding, a rather great makeup, eat the greatest Jiaozi ever cooked, face the hall of evil (Zhuhai train station ticket office) and the gates of hell that are Guangzhou metro on a Sunday evening.
Plus in the interval from when I visited Willy in 2011 they have moved Zhuhai station 10 miles!!! And my date found a wonderful shopping mall for us to visit, but when we got there it was a construction site. Things change so quickly here (especially the train ticket prices!!!)
And that's before I even get started on my date having some huge problems in her life. This is the first lady I've met whose family are farmers, and her personal life is really tragic. Life sucks here if you're poor, from having to work 60+ hour weeks (and face your health being ruined by 50), to costly healthcare, a high cost of living and random catastrophes. Last week I was nearly totalled by a motorcycle driving the wrong way - luckily I have two health insurance plans here which is two more than most of the population have.
If they made a movie of my attempt to find a wife here it would be dismissed as pure fiction.
Is it all worth it? Well I laugh at all the photos of Hollywood movie stars/Kardashians beach photos. The girl I was with has a simply astounding figure, and it's all natural.
And there are so many little things that make this journey so fun at time. Like the waitress in the Yunnan restaurant couldn't stop smiling at me - I was maybe the first Westerner who'd ever eaten there. And tonight's bus journey through the mean streets of Sanyuanli was as epic as always.
And as for the culture remark, well I'm currently living in one of the poorest parts of Guangzhou. I see it all here. Actually I'm not supposed to be living here at all but that's how this country works.
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Brett I remember the area you live in when I was in Guangzhou exploring. That is what we
call here in the states The Hood.
Why are you living there? There are many other areas that are far better.
But then you have to know Brett! He likes challenges in life. Ready for anything. ;)
Willy
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Hey guys,
I'm very sorry if I offended anyone here. I know I'm new here and still sorting it all out. .Once again, my apologies. I do want to be part of this community. . Perhaps I'm over-excited about the whole situation at hand, because, it is quite exciting, and I am just wanting to know other people with similar relationships with the wonderful Asian ladies.
And yes, I have travelled to Asia once so far, to meet her family (parents, and her sister and nephew). It went exceptionally well. I met her in the U.S., as she visited my church, since she was here on a student visa (career change/burnout (age 40),/friends in the U.S. doing the same, encouraged her to try it).
We kept in touch via Skype, every single, when she returned to China, and before I was able to plan a trip there.
Now, she is back here , and we are engaged. All is going exceptionally well.
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Perhaps we would understand more if your age was not hidden from your profile. It could be that you are a 20 year old college boy or, god help you, an old codger like me.
Willy
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Brett I remember the area you live in when I was in Guangzhou exploring. That is what we
call here in the states The Hood.
Why are you living there? There are many other areas that are far better.
I'm living in Baiyun because my school is here - I live right outside the front door so it's very convenient. Also the air by the mountain is a little better. I kind of like my quirky neighborhood rather than totally sterile and boring Zhujiang.
I'm in quite a good location though, with 4 metro stations and a huge number of buses to choose from. And there are loads of small stores in the neighborhood selling everything a student would ever need. And it's an ideal real-life classroom for trying out my Mandarin.
If I get in any kind of stable relationship then maybe I'll share an apartment with a lady. But for now I'm happy with my very cheap minimalist apartment. My lady wanted my to cook for her yesterday but I had to admit that I only have one food bowl ;D.
Anyway, as to the other theme of this thread - it is nice to see new members on here. Given the problems getting Chinese visas these days I guess more guys are going to the Phillies or Thailand. But Chinese ladies are of course the best :-*.
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Yes, once again my apologies.. I did not yet complete the profile. My age is 46. Also, after reading responsive posts, it is much more clear to me just how incredibly serious you guys are about this topic. Honestly, I failed to realize the level of sacrifice involved. It is truly incredible to read about. In my case it has been at least a little bit easier, since she was already in the U.S., therefore it has been mostly her sacrifice; of which I am eternally grateful.