China Romance
All About China => Share your love story => Topic started by: IrishGuy65 on August 15, 2013, 11:09:11 pm
-
It is late, but Lisa just told me she has decided she will marry me and move to the USA. I will start the fiancée visa application process tomorrow or this weekend, as soon as I can. Unfortunately, I have to keep working to make money for my new family ;D
I will be writing our story here as time permits. I hope you enjoy the story. It may take some time to go from the beginning to the present.
-
Congratulations.Best wishes for a long and happy life together
-
YAHOO!
Patrick, it occurs to me that until you get the official stamp in your RedBook, Lisa can change her mind as many times her brother gets himself into trouble. As much as I want to attend your wedding, maybe consider marriage in China and bring her over on a Cr1 visa. I've heard that they are easier, cheaper and take less time. Talk with Robertt.
-
Congratulations you two.
-
YAHOO!
Patrick, it occurs to me that until you get the official stamp in your RedBook, Lisa can change her mind as many times her brother gets himself into trouble. As much as I want to attend your wedding, maybe consider marriage in China and bring her over on a Cr1 visa. I've heard that they are easier, cheaper and take less time. Talk with Robertt.
One of my problems is my impatience for things. I think this is a big worry for her. So, I'm not going to sweat it. I'm trying to learn patience, and I think my patient and caring attitude played a part in her changing her mind. Also, I want the fiancee visa because we can bring her daughter Amy along through the I129F through a K-2 visa. I also believe being able to bring Amy is a critical piece of the puzzle. And I really don't want to separate the two. I think her daughter is awesome and I really enjoyed the time I was able to spend with her and I want her here also. I'll have to get some information, but if I can't bring them both, I won't do it. If she changes her mind, it will help me learn to be more patient :D
-
Our story really begins with a guy named Gerry Pineau. I came to this website because i had been talking to women on China Love, and I was getting frustrated. I learned many things, and then joined CLL and CLM, and I met 2 or 3 women there. But Gerry posted about some ladies he'd met during his trips to China, and Lisa caught my eye. Gerry told me about my facial hair problem, and we discussed that, while on here I discussed and read many things. I guess Gerry saw something in me, as he sent me a list of several ladies he knew that might interest me. At the same time, he gave Lisa my QQ number. She contacted me that day... February 15, 2013. We talked for a half hour that first time. The conversation wasn't dry, as many new conversations tend to be. It is normally an interview process. This was not. Very light and interesting conversation about nothing in particular. She has a great sense of humor and is obviously good with English. I liked her almost immediately. She tells me now she felt the same.
So the next day, we talked more, and learned more about each other. We talked for over an hour. It's surprising how easy the conversation is with this woman. We talk more than an hour the next day. So far, our conversations are in her morning, my evening. I work 11AM to 7PM, so in the mornings I have time, I usually get on the internet and check the news, weather... stuff like that. She is online and has sent me a message the following morning. So, we start talking twice a day, morning and evening... about an hour each time, 2 hours or more a day. The conversations are great. She is interesting, funny, flirtatious, intelligent... I could go on, but I won't. You understand. I don't feel pressure and there are no awkward pauses. Everything flows. We really learn quite a bit about each other without the interview like atmosphere. I look forward to talking to her every day because the conversations are so good and simple and easy.
Then, on February 20... just our 6th day of conversation, she drops a bombshell on me and tells me some very serious stuff about her family. She hasn't told anyone, she says, not even her closest friends, but she feels like she can tell me. She confides in me, and I am stunned. How can she trust me so quickly. Gerry has told me she has been around the internet a while and talked to many Western men. And we know that there are many, many bad seeds out there. So I feel honored that she trusts me so much to share withme. After this, our conversations are still great, but we have many more serious moments and conversations. She asked me about my wife. I wasn't divorced officially at this time. I was separated from my wife for 2 1/2 years, with no chance of reconciliation. It wasn't until the beginning of 2013 that I decided to seek a divorce. Surprisingly, the divorce was done by the end of March, less than 3 months to handle. Anyway, she wanted to be sure, basically, there was no chance of a reconciliation or that Lisa wasn't coming between us or anything. It took me days of talks to convince her that it was really over. She's such a good woman.
I could go through all our chat records (2 chats a day of at least an hour length each, on average), but I don't have a few weeks. So I'm going to sum up by saying we talked every day, all the time. We looked forward to our conversations, and got closer and understood each other better every day. Mostly, we laughed... a lot. I *think* it was sometime in March, after my divorce, that we started discussing a trip to China. It was going to be in August, during my birthday and Chinese Valentine's Day... but I couldn't get vacation time because we had a big poker tournament scheduled, and my boss wouldn't give me off. So we picked July, after school was out and her school responsibilities were completed. She is an English teacher, for those that do not know. It was the end of February when she told me her Chinese name, Hongping, and I began using that when talking with her. I never call her Lisa, now.
I'm curious as to how much others talked to their women before meeting them? I feel like we talked an awful lot. I'm happy with it, but we are talking literally 2-4 hours a day, every day. And enjoying the conversations very much.
In March, I told her about St Patricks Day, and on St Patricks Day she sent me pictures of her and Amy wearing green! I loved it. By this time, we knew all the good and bad about each other's past. I learned about her past and her family and friends... I told her all I could think of about my past. Surprisingly, I don't think it took long for us to start getting past the friendship stage. Once we started having regular FaceTime chats, the feelings started. I know it didn't take me long to stop talking to all the other Chinese women I had met... because I knew she was the one I wanted to know better.
Basically, our chats continued religiously. We both enjoyed them, and it was always easy to talk with her. We covered so many subjects, I felt like I knew her very well. We'd do some short QQ video chats, but nothing long. And QQ wasn't very reliable... we'd be talking and it would crash or the sound went out. Very hard to really have an extended conversation. It wasn't until April that we started FaceTime, because I had purchased an iPad (I'm so happy I made this purchase!). I think this really cemented our bond and took our relationship to a new level. Generally, we'd talk a few times a week on FaceTime to start. Her wifi is spotty, and sometimes, it is very hard to talk. I was surprised at how well I understood her when we first started talking. We figured out that early mornings were the best time for FaceTime, weekends were the worst, and nights for her were spotty. So we started chatting on FaceTime every night (my time, morning for her). How smoothly these conversations went really took our relationship to a new level. We could communicate well, and we both commented on it often. Plus, for some reason she thinks I'm handsome (even after seeing me in person), and I find her very attractive... so it added chemistry to our relationship. Yes, this is where it became a relationship. We made plans on FaceTime for the trip to China, and talked about what to do while there. Fun thing to do... watch movies together on FaceTime. I'd rent a movie and sit the iPad in front of the TV, and we'd watch. She would cook breakfast or I would cook dinner or we'd do our normal daily routines and talk to each other. It really helped us get to know each other and see how we lived our lives. Talking is one thing, seeing is another.
More later. Including a glimpse of things to come...
-
Good story, I am enjoying reading it.
Good Luck to you
-
So, we've been really busy working on Lisa's visa, with the help of RoberttS, so I haven't had much time between work and talking with her. Today is the first day I have had spare time in a week. It's a process, that's for sure!
So, let's see about our story. OK, yes... we talked while living our lives. It made it like, at times, we were actually together. She, eating dinner, and me, eating breakfast... talking over a meal. We'd both go to the kitchen to clean up, together. I feel like we bonded through doing things together on FaceTime, like eating, movies, cleaning up. Almost like real dating, except there's no worry about the kiss goodnight, or anything else :)
So, during this time we began planning the trip to China. She is a university teacher, and has off during the summer, so we made plans for me to come to China in July. If you want to read about the trip, I posted in the trips to China section... can be found here: http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3757.0.html (http://www.chnromance.com/index.php/topic,3757.0.html)
Anyway, we discuss many things about the trip... she insists on making hotel reservations, because she can get a cheaper rate. Like most Chinese women, she seems to have a million contacts, and had a friend in a travel agency that was able to book all the hotels during my trip, 13 total nights, for about 5000 rmb. Abot 384 rmb a night, and some VERY nice rooms. I mentioned this before, but I love the frugality of the traditional Chinese woman!!! My problem with this was only learned later, when I found out she paid for it all, and wouldn't allow me to pay for it. I feel so cheap, letting her pay 5000 rmb... Many of our discussions were about what to do for 2 weeks together. We both wanted to be away from the family and friends, to find time to be alone and get to know each other better, which is the main reason for the trip. If we stay in Shunde, we will constantly have to spend time with family and friends... and not have a lot of time to talk, etc.
So we first talk about Jiuzhaigou, which is a beautiful scenic place. She knows I like mountains and cooler weather, and since it will be July in southern China, getting away to a cooler place is a must for me, LOL. After much research, we find out it is just too expensive. At least, Lisa thinks so and decides to look elsewhere. In the meantime, we talk about Dinghu mountain, and also Hong Kong and Macau. These are all one day trips, so not a big deal, and we will take Amy with us to Dinghu Mountain. We look at several places, but she mentions over and over during our conversations that she has always wanted to go to Lijiang. So, it was pretty much settled. We decide on 6 nights there... enough time away from everything, and still time for me to meet everyone and for her to show me around her city of Shunde. We eventually decide not to plan anything there, just to enjoy ourselves and find out what there is to do, and explore, on our own.
A glimpse of things to come... she is always happy to talk with me, and ready for me to come to China. We both hate waiting so long, but it is the soonest I could come based on my job. i wouldn't get approved for time off earlier, or later, during her summer vacation, due to various events we have at our casino during the summer. I'm a poker dealer at Delaware Park, in Delaware, if I have never mentioned this. So we have to suffer through our waiting. Anyway, several things happen in the months prior to our meeting, which make her worried about meeting and tell me not to come to China. One, is just her friends telling her it is a bad idea. She wavers, and we talk for several days about it until she comes to her senses. One time, she gets a blood test that tells her she is anemic, and she decides that it is too much for me to deal with a sick, dying woman and too much for her because she is so sick. I tell her to eat some foods with more iron. 3 days, and 4 blood tests, later, she gets a good blood test and is fine again. The medical field in China is very poor. Have I mentioned that?
Anyway, the gist of the story is this: Anytime something bad happens, she flips out and doesn't want me to come to China. Happens 4 times in 2 months leading up to our meeting in China. As I said, a glimpse of things to come. If you've read some other posts, you'll see she has flip flopped several times on the engagement AFTER the visit... again because of friends, and bad things happening with her family, and mis-diagnosed issues with her. I will say that, at this point, I feel secure and confident in her decisions now, otherwise I would never be moving forward with the fiancee visa application.
Again, during these times, I have to thank Gerry, and more importantly, his wife Fiona, for talking with Lisa and giving her positive feedback about America, American men, and the life here. I know many have experienced, and are still experiencing, these ups and downs. I can understand in some ways, after the visit... she basically has a simple, comfortable life in China, and she is picking up everything and basically starting over here. It's very scary, especially for someone who has led the simple, comfortable life that she has led for so many years.
So, leading up to the trip, we talked about 3 things (mostly), her not wanting me to come to China, what we would do while I am there, and simple, normal daily conversations. Hectic, frustrating, and sometimes very tiring. But we made it through!!!
So, we are up to the trip to China, which you all can read about. The postscript to the trip, and up to our current situation, in my next episode ;D
-
So, like any couple, we have had some downs as well as ups. All of our downs come from two things... 1) misunderstandings. Even though we communicate well, there are still some misses in communication, due to things like cultural differences and a little bit with language. I can't imagine how you guys that have a woman that doesn't speak English well, if at all, can manage it! Also, note that two people with similar backgrounds who are both native speakers of the same language will also sometimes have misunderstandings. We had one of these also.... had nothing to do with culture or language, just a simple misunderstanding. It will happen. Love, trust, and communication will get you through. 2) Worry, anxiety, etc. After we were engaged, and started talking about the future, Lisa did some things that I think all Chinese women may do... she started talking to others. She was very worried and nervous about completely giving up her current stable, simple life to move to America. She got many stories, a couple good, most bad or scary. This made her anxiety worse. And, instead of talking to me, she just did more research and got more bad information. This was a HUGE problem. Every day, now, I ask her if she did any research or talked to anyone, so I can dam the flow of bad information before it overcomes her. Also, worry about her family was a big problem also. She is 46, I'm 48. Her parents are old, her brother is a common worker, and her parents do not want her to move to America with me, because she is the one that takes care of them. Both her parents have some health issues, so she worries all the time. With this, I wish I could help somehow, but there's nothing that either of us can think of that I can do. We will do all we can to insure they have a place to live, insurance and health care, and someone there (Lisa's brother), to help them if they need it... plus money in case they have an emergency. This is a regular worry, and was a big issue for a month after my visit and we were engaged.
Now, we've talked out all our problems, and we are closer than ever. We know we can talk about anything together... we've built trust and a way to communicate. She is sure about our future, and I no longer worry about her changing her mind. But, we've had problems. Remember to remain calm (you have seen that I was not calm a couple of times, as I posted here in the forums). I remained calm with her and used the 24 hour rule with her, but inside, and on these forums, I was a nervous wreck... hahaha.
So, what I hope you all get from this is that you need to have a foundation in place for your relationship to be able to work through these problems. You will have problems... every relationship does. And there will be other issues that you wouldn't have in a relationship with someone from your own country. Build the foundation, and be sure you have good communication and there is love there... with these, you can conquer anything together.
So, back to our story. We had a problem on my last day in China. It was a simple misunderstanding, but it caused a big problem and we couldn't reconcile it face to face because we didn't have time. The problem was a minor misunderstanding, which turned into a major big deal. I'm not going into details... however, we were able to talk and eventually understand what happened, and, like I said, we were able to build a foundation for working out problems. it brought us closer together and made our relationship stronger.
From there, we had some problems with Lisa and her family... she didn't think she was strong enough to handle these issues, but time has proven her wrong... I am one that LIKES to say I told you so... and I told her she was strong enough :) But she leaned on me to help her, and we got through it together.
So, finally, we got to applying for the K-1 visa for her and K-2 for her daughter Amy. We enlisted the help our our very own RoberttS. He was extraordinarily helpful and we are very happy with his services to this point. We highly recommend him... you can visit his site at http://www.issoga.com/. (http://www.issoga.com/.) If you are in the US, I strongly urge you to at least contact him before you start the visa application process.
On September 24, Robert got the last of our package together and sent it to me. We talked on the phone and he advised me on what I needed to do. Yesterday, the 25th of September, I FedEx'd the package to the USCIS. Today, it was delivered. We are on our way!
Now, I am encouraging her daughter Amy, who can speak a little English, to start getting serious about learning English. They are looking to get her some classes, so she can pass the TOEFL and apply to a college in the USA. I live right near the University of Delaware, and our goal is to get her into this college. We are now looking at some business opportunities here in the USA and also some possible jobs for her for when she is here and gets everything together. We still talk every day, and we still try to build our relationship.
It's going to be a long journey, and we are ready, and continue to work together.
From here, I'll post more as things happen. For now, lots of research on jobs, school, and buying a house. She has a condo in Shunde she is trying to sell for 338k CNY. If you know anyone in Shunde looking for a condo, let me know :) The money will be used for a good cause... her daughter Amy's college fund!
-
Well congratulations on everything.
My lady, I'll call her here by her English name now, Ivy; flip-flopped on me a few times since we started, but has been VERY stable the last 6 months. Never having second thoughts, or at least not letting me know about them if she has.
We too had a couple serious fights over dumb little things. One bit of advice: get a period track app for your iPad. Then, you'll know when she is maybe making a big deal over nothing because of hormones, or at least you'll know when to be extra-patient.
I do have to ask one thing though: Do you have something that is tying you here? If not, why wouldn't you just move to China? It's true that they have their problems, but at least staying afloat doesn't seem to be one of them. Just be careful of the water and air you consume, and about anything else will be fine.
I've got a daughter from the divorce (maybe you too) and I would have to abandon her to move to China; I won't do that. Otherwise, she's got a better career and money situation there than I do here; I'd almost certainly move there. Maybe get some menial English teaching job until I learn Mandarin.
Well, good luck. I hope she doesn't flip flop again, and I hope her parents are cared-for when she leaves there. I bet you've discussed bringing them and her brother here later, after you're settled...
-
Smaug... thanks for the reply.
1st.. I keep track of her period on my own... it isn't difficult and I don't need an app :) I did it with my ex, and with most other women I've dated... Our problems were not during her period.
2nd... Nothing is keeping me in the USA... but Lisa doesn't want me to move to China. I've offered to move there on more than one occasion, and she knows I'm serious and that I will move there in a heartbeat. She says it will be too much pressure on her... an extra mouth to feed, more bills, etc. I'd prefer the USA anyway, but it's always there and she knows it.
Like Ivy, Lisa has made a decision and she won't change her mind. I'm 100% sure of this, and have no more worries on that front. My only real concern right now is the process of immigration. How long we have to be apart, and if we will be successful. I tell her all the time not to worry, that I will do the worrying for us both about the immigration process. Once that's done, I am going to buy a new home here for us to live in, and that will be my next worry... followed by the ability of Lisa and Amy to adjust to the new situation. I don't have problems adjusting to new situations, for the most part, so I'm not worried about me.
Anyway, if Lisa said, tomorrow, that she wants me to move to China, I would be on a plane within a week... no questions asked.
-
Just got a request for more evidence notification by email... waiting for the letter from USCIS to arrive so I can find out what they need. I was hoping to have an easy process, but I knew there could be difficulties along the way. This will be the first.
-
I first saw this I started laughing but its not that funny when I think about it.
They want everything, including the kitchen sink, When you are finished it will weigh a couple of pounds and be about 2 inches thick. browse through my thread and look for my response to the request for evidence. End of the road page[9]
This is going to test your determination.
-
It looks like it was Lisa's divorce certificate that we turned in with the package. I'll have Robert double check it, and then print it out again and mail it back to them FedEx... so they can get back on the case.
-
So, we turned in the new whitebook and they are now reviewing the evidence from the RFE.
This is an interminably long process. I was going to go back to China in January, when I had time off available from work. However, we have decided to save it for when her interview comes up, if we ever get to that point. I'll go out to China for the interview, wait as long as I must, and hopefully be on a plane back to the USA with Lisa and her daughter Amy. If I don't hear anything by March, I think I'll just take a few weeks to visit then. Don't think I can wait a lot longer than that :)
-
I signed up for notifications on our petition on the USCIS website. On December 17, I got a notification saying the petition has been approved. Just waiting for the NOA-2 to arrive for it to be even more official.
If the rest of this process is as fast and easy as the first part, I should have Lisa and Amy with me by March.
I have to again tell everyone that robertt did most of the work on this, and so far it has gone much faster, and easier, than expected. If you are looking to file a petition for a visa for a foreign spouse, fiancee, etc... Use his company at http://www.issoga.com/. He does great work and I highly recommend him.
This all said, it isn't done yet. But we are very happy and excited at this point in time.
-
We are just waiting for Lisa to set up her interview. She is in her hometown with her parents until the 13th. She has many things to do while she is there... several weddings, many old friends and family to visit, and she has to fix her family redbook. When she gets home, it will be almost a year to the day since we had our first conversation. She will then set up and pay for the interview, and set up the medical exams. I should have my part of the necessary paperwork done and FedEx to her at that time. Then it is just the interview, visa, and plane tickets ;D
I am looking forward to posting some new pictures for everyone here.
-
I for one am particularly pleased that things are going well.
I cannot believe that it it a year since I was made privy to the fact that Lisa had met someone that she was very excited about!
As for the speed in your process it seems like using the services of Robertt may well have been very beneficial.
This is probably a lesson well worth bringing to the fore of others who embark on this journey and that is avoid going the do it yourself route.
Willy
-
Cant wait to see you guys.
-
Willy, thanks! Yes, a year now. How time flies!
Yes, I highly recommend Robertt's services at issoga.com to anyone who would ask. He's very thorough and has done a great service to us.
Gerry, looking forward to seeing you and Fiona also. Hopefully we can get things rolling quickly. Right now I'm in the process of looking for a house. Not a lot right now, too many short sales and foreclosures in our area. I have put an offer in for a short sale which I think will be perfect, but it could be months before hearing anything, so I'm assuming it will be a no go and still looking.
-
Lisa and Amy just finished their interview, and they have been approved!! All 3 of us are very excited.
Also, I just had an offer accepted for a new home, did all the paperwork and gave them the good faith check today. Closing is initially scheduled for April 18. I had my friend, who is a real estate flipper, go with me to the house and look over everything. He is going to do some work on it to fix it up... there are some things that need work, and after seeing pictures, some things that Lisa wants also. About 3 weeks of work involved. So probably will be able to move in sometime in May.
Now it's just more waiting... Waiting for the visa and packages to be delivered and picked up, then waiting for Lisa and Amy to fly to America, then waiting for the house to be completed for us to move in.
So excited!
Once again, so many thanks to offer Robertt for all the work he did for us! I highly recommend him to any others going through this!
-
I also want to thank everyone here for their support, advice, and stories about their own situations. This site has been a real blessing for me. I first met Gerry here, who is the one to introduce Lisa to me. I learned many things here. You all helped me prepare for the many pitfalls in the process, to learn much of the Chinese culture, to prepare me for my trip to China, and then to help find Robertt, who worked for us to make the application and interview about as easy and stress free as they could be.
As I said, this site has been a real blessing to me. I expect your help for Lisa, Amy, and me hasn't ended yet. I hope, at some point, I can pass it forward and help others as I have been helped.
Thank you all!
-
Great ! Kudos to everyone ! Really happy this turned out this way.
Makes the stuff I put up with worth it.
Pat, I hope we will see the three of you soon.
DONT BUY TICKETS UNTIL THE VISA IS IN HER HANDS.
Where did you buy the house? When do you plan to have a wedding?
-
Congrats to you IrishGuy and Kudos for Gerry for being a successful "Match-maker"! Hope many-many years of a wonderful Life is ahead for all three.
-
I have just been chatting with Lisa. I am not sure who is happier out of you two. I think I will call it a tie.
I have cracked open a bottle of Bubbly and will toast your happiness from afar.
Well Patrick one question - Are you traveling to China to bring your two ladies home?
Willy
-
congrats and best wishes to you and your's. Now the real journey starts.
-
Congratulations! Like Maxx said, now the hard part starts. ;D I will send you an e-mail later tonight that will give you some ideas and suggestions as to what actions you will need to do in the near future to prepare the foundation for your AOS after you two get married. Remember what I said about transit visa requirements for Lisa and Amy when booking their flights here also, some countries require them just to transit through so double check with the airlines. Lisa and Amy are not citizens of the USA so they do not fall under any treaties/agreements the USA has with other countries,so you should mention the fact that they are citizens of China when purchasing the tickets or e-mail the airline company. I remember one guy that was/is a member here who got a call that his wife /fiancee was stuck in some airport outside the USA because she did not have a transit visa.
Best Wishes,
Robert
-
Gerry, no tickets will be bought. We've been told and understand to wait until she has the visa in her hands. :)
The house is in Newark, Delaware... We are talking now about the timing of her arrival in the USA and the wedding. When we have a date set for the wedding, we'll let you and Fiona know.
Arnold, thank you!
Willy, thanks! We are both very excited and happy. Lisa says she wants to come visit you before she leaves China. I hope you and your wife get the chance to meet with Lisa. As for coming back to China to pick her up... it is what I wanted to do, but I can't afford it. Putting a ton of money into the house, and need many things for Lisa and Amy when they arrive. So, I want to, but I won't. We plan on visiting China once a year, and I'm sure I'll be able to come by and meet you and your wife.
Maxx, thanks! Yes, I'm looking forward to starting the real journey ;D
Robertt... again, many thanks! Yes, we have already discussed the transit visa situation. I think we are flying Asiana, which goes through Incheon in Seoul Korea. Either that, or a direct flight from Shanghai or Beijing.
Mike, thanks! Yes, we have talked quite a bit about all the adjustments Lisa and Amy will have to make, here. We understand that it will be a culture shock, so I am hopeful that, with understanding comes the ability to adjust and work everything out. We both feel confident that we can work it all out together.
-
Like Maxx said, the real journey starts soon. I hope they enjoy it in the USA.
-
Patrick,
Fiona went to Hong Kong to japan then non stop to Denver. No transit visa required.
I just saw tickets for $750 directly from Hong Kong to New York (JFK) !!!
That's an unbelievable price. Air China and China southern both fly that route.
http://www.farecompare.com/results/flights-marketsearch.html?departdate=20140331&cabin=Coach&flexDates=&destination=NYC&c2=2&p=2&altAirports=false&onlyNonStops=false&s=d&departure=HKG&saveMySearch=&t=o&dsh=1&type=flights-market&returndate= (http://www.farecompare.com/results/flights-marketsearch.html?departdate=20140331&cabin=Coach&flexDates=&destination=NYC&c2=2&p=2&altAirports=false&onlyNonStops=false&s=d&departure=HKG&saveMySearch=&t=o&dsh=1&type=flights-market&returndate=)
-
CB, thanks! I hope they enjoy it here also!
Gerry, didn't you just tell me not to buy tickets until the visa is in her hands?
By the way, we have tentatively set the wedding date for May 31, 2014... In case anyone here is interested in attending. You are all invited ;D Obviously, until she has the visa in her hands, the flight is booked, and we have moved into our new house, that won't be official. Once those 3 things are done, this will be official.
-
I didn't mean pull out your credit card today and get tickets today. Just the talk about transit visas made me think Hong Kong may be a better exit strategy. Since they have more direct flights and only a few hours away from Shunde. I think the prices wont change much between now and then.
I'll start saving my money for tickets to your wedding..... ;D
C U then.
-
The wedding will take place in Elkton, Maryland. Not sure exactly where yet. Have to pick a place. It may just be a quick Justice of the Peace ceremony. The reception will, if the weather permits, be a BBQ at our home in Newark, Delaware.
-
If the wedding is in Newark Delaware. I will need a travel visa I'm not sure they let the New Mexicans travel that far into Yankey country. ;D Maybe me and the rest of the west coast boys can get travel visas. If we promise to leave are guns and tequila at the border ;) We may have to be escorted by imegra. But no worries. We can always give them the slip..
I'm kidding keep us updated with the wedding plans. If it works for me. I mite take the wife and kids east of the Mississippi So they can have a look.
-
Will you provide limo service pick up from the airport? We could fly in - oops, I forgot, I am not a high flying life style rich and famous celebrity, that was just in my dream last night. :(
Well, anyways, I bet the BBQ will be a grand celebration - I steak my reputation - rare that it is - upon it.
-
Hey Pat.... you better bring that Ceremomy to "Sunny" and "Warm" Cali and we could have Maxx there too. He would fit right in with the rest of the Folks in SC. Steaks for us and Taco's for Him.
-
There are two places I'll NEVER visit in the USA.
1), California. I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I ever step foot on Californian soil, a massive earthquake will take place and California will fall into the ocean. So, I'm protecting California by staying away.
2) Yellowstone National Park... similar reason... don't want the supervolcano to explode, and I am sure it will if I decided to visit.
I feel relatively safe everywhere else. Probably won't visit Hawaii, but that just because I'd rather be stranded on a snow peaked mountainside than a tropical island paradise. ;D
-
congrats Patreek!
"..Probably won't visit Hawaii, but that just because I'd rather be stranded on a snow peaked mountainside than a tropical island paradise. ;D"
You can have the best of both and probably help pay part of the way with a few bar bets.
Ask the Big Kahuna
"..if tropical snow skiing is your bag, then Hawaii is the right place."
https://www.bestplaceshawaii.com/tips/big_kahuna/ski.html
-
Gerry, thanks for that link. Unfortunately, NYC is just too far away. It is another 1 1/2 hours past PHL for me, which is already about an hour away. All this is dependent on traffic, of course. In the cities, there are times when traffic is very bad. Also, Lisa is much more comfortable with Guangzhou... she doesn't want to fly from Hong Kong. So it will need to be Guangzhou to Philly. I also use FareCompare, as well as several other sites to compare all possible flights. We'll find the best and cheapest one, I'm sure. It also needs to be a Star Alliance member so we can get our mileage.
We finished talking about the wedding date... it is official now, we plan on marrying May 31, as long as there are no difficulties in getting the marriage license. She will fly out to America on May 18, when the house I have under contract has closed and we have the renovations completed. I have a contractor friend who will do all the work for us. Closing should be April 18. 3-4 weeks of renovation on the house, then I will move in and hopefully have everything ready for them when they arrive.
-
There are two places I'll NEVER visit in the USA.
1), California. I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I ever step foot on Californian soil, a massive earthquake will take place and California will fall into the ocean. So, I'm protecting California by staying away.
2) Yellowstone National Park... similar reason... don't want the supervolcano to explode, and I am sure it will if I decided to visit.
I feel relatively safe everywhere else. Probably won't visit Hawaii, but that just because I'd rather be stranded on a snow peaked mountainside than a tropical island paradise. ;D
WOW its looks like we were taking one hell of a risk having you in China when we did! Ha ha
Willy
-
Hey Patrick,
It sounds like everything is going real well for you. Good to hear this.
I liked flying out of Ghanzhou - it is not too big of an airport. I have flown out of there twice now and both times my flight went to Hong Kong and from there I caught a connecting flight. Of course I am going to JFK, so that might make a difference.
What airline are you using that flies directly to the US out of Ghanzhou?
In my limited experience I have found that longer layovers are not that bad - maybe preferable- it gives you time to stretch your legs. I try not to have too much carry on - just my laptop, really. I let the airline worry about my luggage.
I have been using Cathay Pacific - they are a little more expensive but I think the service has been good. I am going to try a new airline next time just for the experience.
Anyways - I hope things go well for you and Lisa.
-
Mike... after 25+ hours of flying and sitting in airports, I want to get them home as quickly as possible. Why punish them with another 2 1/2 to 3 hours of driving. Also, thinking of jet lag. The longer the drive, the more chance they will have to sleep. I want them to be awake as much as possible during the days to sort of push them into adjusting. I didn't have any problem with jet lag in China, and I think that is in part due to the fact that I did not sleep for 36 hours (the other part is my hardy constitution, haha), and when I arrived it was the middle of the night (1AM or so, plus the hour drive from Guangzhou), so I fell asleep during the night in China, and woke up at a reasonable hour the next morning. From then on, no problems. I hope to do the same for Lisa and Amy. Just my thoughts, not necessarily right or wrong.
Willy, I would have warned you sooner, but I thought that it might become a self fulfilling prophecy as the whole country might go crazy once they found out I was coming. Crazy riots were something I didn't want, so instead, I kept things quiet. I'll quietly warn you and a few others my next trip back.
Jim, yes, things moved very quickly. Now, it's a waiting game. Waiting for Lisa and Amy to receive their visas, then waiting for the house to close and get renovated. Then they will travel here. So, 2 1/2 months more waiting. For a life of happiness, I can wait a few more months :) I didn't fly directly to the US... Gerry did. I went through Seoul, flying Asiana. I liked it, and the meals were very good also. On the way there, my longest layover was 3 hours... on the way back from China, I had an overnight stay in Incheon Airport in Seoul. They have a hotel in the airport, so it was nice.... but I would have preferred a much shorter layover. I am not a patient person. Typical American, I want to get where I am going as quickly as possible... don't have time to wait, haha. It was pretty cheap also. I went from Philly to Chicago to Seoul to Guangzhou. I had a backpack. Had some snacks, water I bought in the airport, compression socks, and my laptop and iPad... plus all my needed documents and my Chinese cell phone.
-
OK, Lisa went to the bank to pick up her passport with her visa this morning.We are booking their flight now.
We are amending our plans slightly. She will arrive here on Sunday, April 27. On April 28, we will apply for our marriage license. On April 29, we will get married in a quick ceremony at the Justice of the Peace. We will then immediately get our AOS package ready, to insure enough processing time so that Amy's visa doesn't expire... she will turn 21 on October 19, and we need her AOS to be done by then. So, getting married a month earlier will give us a bit more time. Robert made us aware of the processing time involved, so we've moved things up a bit.
On May 31, we will have a ceremony where she can wear her wedding dress, and our friends and family can be there, then a party afterwards. Hopefully, at our new house, which we hope will be done and ready to go.
As far as I'm concerned, the sooner she is here in the USA, the better.
-
Ha ha! Almost Chinese style of wedding.
I will be in the UK in April then back here. Maybe I will see if I can get back to the UK in May and take a trip to JFK drive down to your city and find out the answer to Perry Como's question? I have always wondered!
I may be even able find a spot in my suitcase for a friend of mine.
Willy
-
I may be even able find a spot in my suitcase for a friend of mine.
Willy
Hahaha. I wonder who that friend is.
-
Been very busy, and will remain busy for the next several months... so I just wanted to give a quick update.
Buying a house, and closing is the 21st of April. Been running around like a madman getting things for my mortgage guy. I'll be so happy when it's done! April 27, Hongping will arrive here. April 28, a quick wedding and the 28th and 29th I hope we can have most of the AoS and other forms completed or at least most of the information gathered. April 30th I go back to work.
We have some work going on for the house before we move in. My contractor is thinking 3 weeks to do it all. I'm thinking more like 6. I hope that we can be in by May 20 or so, so that we can have time to get things moved in and put away. May 31 we are having friends and family over for our 'wedding day' at the new house. All this, if things go the way they should... how often does that actually happen?
-
Uh..er.. Quick wedding on the 28th of April and a wedding day reception on May 31st. Is that right?
I dont think we can make it. We are going to miss the "real" wedding I think.
How certain are you of these dates?
-
100% certain. Robert told us the AoS is taking longer than it has in the past, I guess due to all the illegal aliens being allowed to legalize themselves... So, we have to have the AOS done by Amy's 21st birthday in October... this is why we moved everything up. We are still going to have a wedding ceremony in May... Although the 'real' wedding is April 28 at the county courthouse, the wedding with friends and family will be May 31, which was originally the day we were planning on marrying.
On that note, Lisa wants to know if you are still coming in May.
-
We will be there. Just need a time and address.
-
Fiona is so excited. Today I booked the tickets and hotel so she is going to the BIG APPLE for a week. We will see you on the 31st. Just let us know when to show up. Is the reception at your house?
-
Lisa and Amy are on their way. Tracking their flight now, and they are over Canada at this time. Just getting some things together, then going to head up to JFK Airport to pick them up. I hope to get some pictures of the big moments and post a few for all of you.
Very excited. Thanks to all for the help and support!
-
Wow ! Great to hear about this Patrick. By now you must be all hitched up and living in the new ( to you ) house?
Looking forward to seeing pictures. How are they adjusting to everything? I am sure that they will do fine.
-
Well, it's been 4 months. What happened?
Hopefully, you just temporarily forgot about this place because you're so blissfully happy and well-adjusted to one another.
-
Everything is going well. Time for bed now, but I will write up something in the near future.
-
On April 27, Lisa and Amy arrived in New York. I picked them up and brought them home to their new apartment. Their biggest excitement? Seeing the blue sky. Amazing how different the quality of air between Chinese cities and American :) At that time, I still did not have a house. The house I was going to buy fell through, as some foundation issues were found, and I wasn't going to pay the $10k-$15k to have the foundation repaired. So, I continued to look at houses, now with Lisa and Amy, while we lived in a one bedroom apartment. I could have upgraded to a two bedroom, but Amy said she was happy to sleep on the couch, and that the couch was more comfortable than her bed in China. Considering that I felt like I was sleeping on bricks when I was in China, I can understand that sentiment. We were outbid on our next choice, and the 2nd home we got under contract turned out to be infested with rats and termites... The 3rd home we got under contract, I saw initially without Lisa and Amy. When Lisa saw it, she immediately said it was no good. Because the door opened in the middle of the bedroom wall. She says the bed should be out of the way when you look into the bedroom. So, the saying is "happy wife, happy life", right? Finally, we found a nice place, 2200 square feet, for only $185,000. There are several homes in this area for sale, the lowest after ours is $229,000. So, we bought the house. I believe it was August 8 that we closed. 3 1/2 months later.
We have a lot of work to do on the house. There was an old lady that lived here with two cats. She smoked... a LOT. We had to change the carpets and paint the walls and ceiling to get rid of the smoke and cat odors. Many other things still need to be done. It will take us a few years, then once the house is up to par, we'll remodel the kitchen and bathrooms. I'll post up pictures next week. Lisa has already started digging up the ground for a garden, even though there are roots everywhere from a maple that used to be there. So, the house is great, and we are happy with it... finally!
Amy started school at Delaware Technical Institute, taking English classes to improve her English sufficiently to pass the TOEFL and start her college education. He English is not bad, but she needs to work on her actual use of English. She talks to friends and family back in China daily, and Lisa and Amy often talk in Mandarin at home, so she doesn't get the practice hearing, and speaking, English that she needs. Plus, she really needs to improve her vocabulary so that she can understand the information she will get in college classes. Worse, for her, is she has decided she wants to get into pediatric nursing... which has a vast vocabulary all its own, and which I will not be able to help her with. She started the last week in August, and is doing well so far. She's made a couple of friends, one of which is another Chinese girl whose parents recently moved to the USA.... so again, more speaking Mandarin and not enough practice in English...
As for the relationship. It started out great. We were all very happy to be together. I would come home from work and almost get tackled because Lisa was happy to see me. We talked about a lot of things, and learned a lot more about each other. Now that we have the house, we are tired... me from work and fixing things around the house, and Lisa from her gardening and taking care of all the household chores. Plus, she passed the written drivers test and we are looking for a car for her to start practicing for the road test. (I'm scared!) And she's also doing work looking for a job, now that she has her EAC and SSN. She wants to teach Chinese here, and there are many opportunities. But, she has to get a teaching certificate, which will be a little more difficult.
There are problems, just like in any relationship. But, for the most part, we have good communication and love to get us through it all. The differences between who I talked to every day on video chat and the lady I met in China, and who Lisa is here, are many. The mundane existence is something I guess we never really think about, and it is a constant culture clash. A lot of work. Is it worth it? I think, for us, it most definitely is worth it. For those thinking about this step, I have to admit I think I'm a pretty good planner and I am usually good at thinking ahead and seeing the future... but there is a lot I didn't think about and account for, even with everyone here helping, opinions, and stories. I believe I rushed this too much (we knew each other just over a year) because there are just so many little culture differences. I should have taken more time spending with her in a mundane, day to day existence so that we could get a better feel for each other and make adjustments before having her leave everything she knew to come here and be with me. Note that we are happy together, and we are working things out... but all the added pressures for her being here... new, alone, in a completely different culture and environment... really make things more complicated and harder for her. I worry about her daily, even though she says she is fine and happy. I believe once she is working, and she has her driver's license she will be better. My biggest issue is that I work so much that I don't get to spend enough time with them... so I have started to take a day off every few weeks, so we can start doing some more things together. My brother and sister in law want to take them to Philadelphia, to see all the historic sites there. I think they will enjoy that very much. They also LOVE the farmer's markets, but unfortunately they are only open on weekends, and I work weekends. So the days off I'm taking are usually Saturdays so we can visit the farmer's markets and do other things they like to do.
Overall, a lot of ups and downs... fortunately, many more ups than downs. And, we know each other better every day. Amy is happy with her school, and she talks every day about her day and has some fun story about her day just about every day. She's such a happy girl! Lisa and I have a good relationship, and I can see it getting even better every day. I'm very happy and lucky.
I'll post some pictures soon... hopefully, the radishes, lettuce, and carrots Lisa planted will get harvested soon, so I can post some pictures of those also. ;D
-
I'll also try to post a little more often now that things are settling down from the move and house maintenance.
-
Congrats on the new home! Hopefully everything will settle down enough where you can come hang out with us here! :)
-
Patrick, here are a few to get you started. I have some of you and Lisa too but I was afraid to post them. The glare from you snow white legs could put someones eyes out.
-
Yes... Congrats on the NEW (used) house Pat. Doing stuff is never done on a house, even a new one. It does make it a "Home" eventually and both of you can look back with pride what was accomplished as a Family. Been there.. done that.. myself.
Thanks for sharing your Story with us!
-
Gerry, I saw the pictures in another thread. You have to understand I'm of Irish descent. I'm either white, or red. There is no 'tan'. Since red hurts, I prefer to stay white. Plus, it is fun telling Lisa and Amy how dark they are! :)
Robert, I'll be around a little more now.
Arnold, yes, a lot of work, but something to take pride in, now and in the future. The good thing is that we have a plan for the house that we both agree on.
I did forget to mention the homesickness and fighting. I mention them together because we've only yelled at each other one time, and part of it was just her homesickness and my American stubborness and impatience... combined together to form an explosive combination. Fortunately, it was quickly over as neither of us likes to argue or fight. It's good that we normally can talk through things, even if we need to make a lot of use of the 24 hour rule. Neither of us like to yell and scream, nor are either of us emotional fighters... so we get along well and really have a good system in place to work out issues. As I said before, so many little things you overlook in day to day life, that are completely different simply due to our culture and upbringing differences. Once you get over the hump of the many, many tiny little things, you start understanding each other much better and you can get to the point where you are happy together and not discussing some new issues every day. Just living, and enjoying, life together.
-
Patrick, I only mentioned the white legs because I have Irish skin too. The glare in the mirror is frightening. haha
I suppose you have found out that living with a woman of Chinese culture is a bit of a challenge. I went through it with Fiona but I was in China and I was in the minority, so I often lost the battle. But in the end there were no losers. Just a better understanding of each other.
I like your attitude toward problem resolution. The 24 hour rule works but women don't understand it at first. They just want to talk and talk right now. Why wait for 24 hours. After they see it work a few times and witness the monster that went into the cave come back out an angle they become believers.
Men are from mars and women are from Venus is a good book but most (nearly all) Chinese women don't have the reading comprehension to understand the message in it. It's message is that men and women are fundamentally different and that is the cause of the conflict and it goes on to explain the differences. It does not change anything. It just explains the differences and gives you an understanding of how the other person thinks. And most of the time just an understanding is all you need. I think Lisa's English skills would allow her to understand this book.
Congratulations on the new house. Now you know what your going to be doing in you spare time for the next year or so.
-
I wanted to comment on what you said about Lisa being homesick.
Mei and I had this little tiff also but the shoe was on the other foot. I was in China at the time, I think it was my April trip and I was missing home cooking...( i.e. American food ) and I was related this to Mei and she quickly set me straight.
In essence she said " So you would rather be with your food than with me? " She has a good way of seeing things...
Anyways, it was an eye opener for me and I will try to remember when she is in the US with me and she starts to feel homesick how I was feeling back then.
I can vouch for the clear skies. Lisa was living in the same area as Mei and the skies were always overcast. I have been sending Mei pictures of the beautiful sunsets around here and she loves them.
It is good to hear from you Patrick. Once you really settle into the new house you will have more time for each other. And don't worry about her driving. If she drove in CHina then she already has more experience with traffic than most of us will get in a lifetime.
-
Epilogue ... Patrick turned out to be a cheating weasel and the marriage fell apart because of him.
The good news is that Lisa moved on and is now with a really good man.