China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: yoshiii on January 02, 2014, 04:59:15 pm
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Hello
There is a lady on one the marriage sites that I used to write to and did one video chat with. I stopped writing to her for a couple of years. I started to write to her again, we never became girlfriend and boyfriend.
Now when I started writing to her again, she said that we dated before.
Does writing to these ladies count as dating?
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Here a good question. If she is a good catch.... why is she still there?
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Here a good question. If she is a good catch.... why is she still there?
Don't know.
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No joke or offense intended yoshiii.
But after three years of browsing these sites and making friends I noticed several ladies.... Good looking and a nicely written profile.... they are still there, active and looking, and I wonder why. If I weren't already married I would be at least dating them.
Could it be they just like the attention they are getting and just playing with the guys. Maybe they are not so nice girls, looking for something other than a husband. Could be a fake profile running a scam or getting EMF revenue for whoever put it up there. I can see where your plain Jane homely ex-housewife with 3 kids might have trouble getting a commitment, but some of the women are very beautiful and still no husband. What ever the reason you got to wonder why some gentleman has not already swept them away long ago.
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Well she said that she was off of the site for a while.
I video chatted with her at her house before. I had gotten her email address and things.
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When are you dating?
Yoshiii, where are you from? If you were dating someone wherever you are from, what would that constitute?
My point is this: You can't really DATE someone from a country far away the same way... so, what is dating and how do you date someone a long distance away? These are the questions to ask yourself. To figure out her thoughts, you have to answer those same questions. From her point of view... is the first time you talk a date? If you talk, then schedule another time to talk again, is that a date? Or do you just keep 'running into her' online? Did you make an appointment to talk to her on video (in other words, make a date to see her face to face)?
My opinion... doesn't matter. Did you, or she, invest time and energy to get to know each other? If so, isn't that what dating is?
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I know this is not pertinent information concerning Chinese websites. But my buddy got hooked on a Ukraine girl 3-4 years ago. He hung out with her on her sponsor's website for months. This girl was a 15 on a scale of 1-10. Can't remember ever seeing a more beautiful woman in my life. I am not joking. After he paid a zillion dollars in video fees to webcam with her at their gynormous ...ridiculous fees...he broke through her professional behavior and got the skinny what was going on with her. Ken could talk the wings off a fly if he wanted to. She admitted to him that it was a business partnership with the sponsor company and her. All of the money made by her video chats, phone chats, email translations...etc etc...flowers sent to her ..candies...on and on...she got a certain percentage of the take. So, i am sure the China businessmen are just as in tune with the lonely hearts club cash machine as any other place on this planet.
A second story if i might...I corresponded with a woman in central china. I can not even remember the city..like Wuhan, Chengdu, or something near there. She was in her early 40's and very beautiful. She was a bit too young for my age. I do have limits to my hypocrisy. But she was also a little prickly in her nature. I have seen her profile for several years. Every now and then she will ping me with an email. I am keen on history so we talked about the barbaric slaughter of civilians by the Japanese in Nanking. One of the things she said to me...I never forgot it. "all the men talk and talk. But they never come." She is quite disillusioned. A woman of her beauty wouldn't last a day on a match maker website here. So, I think it is very possible for attractive women to be still available years later. I think so many western men use many websites as a form of entertainment for themselves. It is really quite sad what these girls have to endure.
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I have to agree with you that many use these sites as entertainment. We see this all the time, with men talking to women in China, or elsewhere, and not having plans to ever to to the woman's country. I guess that maybe there is a disconnect with reality when talking to a woman online. Maybe the guy forgets that a living breathing person with feelings is at the other end of the computer.
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With my experience of running a dating website here a while back I can vouch that the vast majority of men who go online have no intention of looking for a wife and definately would not think of traveling to China or anywhere else. They just wanted to spend money to be able to say what satisfies them in a perverted way. This destroys the faith that the genuine women have in spending, what for them is, very high charges to join the various agencies.
The online services have basically replaced the premium rate telephone numbers that men would call a few years ago and spend hundreds of dollars talking 'dirty' to some women that they would never see in person. Now they want to do the same talking but as cheaply as possible.
You will find the gems in the midst of the bad ones and they are worth finding when you do.
The best thing I ever did was come here for that holiday in 2009, not for two weeks but a planned for 6 weeks. Most will know that I have been here ever since.
Willy
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WILLY
I MARRIED A BEIJING LADY 5 YEARS AGO AND I COULD NEVER LIVE IN CHINA
DONT GET ME STARTED THE AIR, FOOD, EVEN THE FOOD STORES AND NO TOILET PAPER YEK X 100000 TIMES.
WE LIVWE IN INDIANA CENTRAL usa AND WOW DID SHE FLOURISH HERE NOW SHE WILL NEVER GO BACK. IF YOUR BRIDE WAS OPEN TO GO TO BRITIAN SHOULD BE THERE ALREADY NOTHING BUT THE LADY KEPT YOU IN CHINA POOR YOU SHE WOULD GO I BET IN A INSTANT
ANYWAYS HOPE YOUR MARRIED AND DOING WELL. IF YOUR PLAYING AROUND YOUR NUTS
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Sorry but you shouldn't type in Caps.
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Sorry but you shouldn't type in Caps.
+1 I was just going to say this myself.
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WILLY
I MARRIED A BEIJING LADY 5 YEARS AGO AND I COULD NEVER LIVE IN CHINA
DONT GET ME STARTED THE AIR, FOOD, EVEN THE FOOD STORES AND NO TOILET PAPER YEK X 100000 TIMES.
WE LIVWE IN INDIANA CENTRAL usa AND WOW DID SHE FLOURISH HERE NOW SHE WILL NEVER GO BACK. IF YOUR BRIDE WAS OPEN TO GO TO BRITIAN SHOULD BE THERE ALREADY NOTHING BUT THE LADY KEPT YOU IN CHINA POOR YOU SHE WOULD GO I BET IN A INSTANT
ANYWAYS HOPE YOUR MARRIED AND DOING WELL. IF YOUR PLAYING AROUND YOUR NUTS
I thank that you should read a lot more before you make personal comments.
If you had then you will know that right from the start I made it clear that I was not a ticket to a new life in another country.
OK most foreigners would not want to live here on a permanent basis. But then I would not want to live permanently in many of the 35 countries I have been to, including the USA.
When I first got here I told all that I intended to live in China. Within a week of arriving here I had taken on the rental of an apartment for 6 months so that I got myself settled and got everything I wanted over from the UK.
I found the lady I wanted to spend my life with and yes I arrived in June and it was seven months later in January that we married, so yes we had got to really know each other in that period. I wonder how many weeks you actually spent in person together before you married?
A few of China's big cities have severe air pollution it is like the USA where some places are better to live than others. But if you had spent more time in China you would have found a place that suits you. I find the place that I wanted to live and that is in the region I now live.
No pollution, good air, is on the coast and close to Hong Kong with access to the world. When I was younger I lived in polluted London sometimes the air was so bad that buses had to be led along streets by a person walking alongside with a torch and that was in daytime! Smog they called it and it took London more than a hundred years to clean up its air. The same could be done in Beijing but it takes time.
Yes foreigners coming here have no idea about Chinese food. They come here thinking that they like Chinese food back home in the USA or UK or wherever but that is foreign food cooked in a chinese style to suit foreign palates. Chinese food here is completely different. I eat Chinese food as it comes. In fact in my life I have always eat the local food. Some I would not eat twice admittedly.
My wife has been to England and seen the sights and of course she would move to England if I wanted her too but it is I that do not want to live in UK. The country where I was born is not the country of today. My wife had no say in that. It was purely my decision and unlike most I had the experience of my father who was in China for a while before I was born. (I often look for possible half brothers here!)
I am pleased to hear that your wife is happy in the USA. Long may she do so. I toyed with the idea of moving to the USA some years ago but fortunately came to my senses in time! LOL
Life takes some adjusting to wherever you are. I, like you, have been married for five years. I inherited a wide family and family life here is so much closer than in any other of the countries I have been too. I am no longer here on a visa I live on here with a residents permit. I have a new car, we own one home and have another being built. Life is good, life is sweet, life is Chinese.
Willy