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General Discussion and Useful Links => The Campfire => Topic started by: rockycoon on February 23, 2010, 12:05:29 pm

Title: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: rockycoon on February 23, 2010, 12:05:29 pm
1.  If your wife asks you to remove the transmission so she can
     take a bath...

2. If the primary color of your car or truck is "bondo"...

3. If you cut the front lawn and find the pickup truck you lost
    last winter.

4. If granny comes running from the outhouse, and says : ya-all
    come and look at the size of this before I flush it.

5. If going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, takes a
    pair of slippers, house coat, and a flashlight.



I know you guys got more....post em...:icon_cheesygrin:
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: shaun on February 23, 2010, 06:16:08 pm
6.  If you respond to this thread...  :huh:  Oops. :dodgy:
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Willy The Londoner on February 23, 2010, 07:47:35 pm
From a refined gentleman formerly from the City of London:angel::  What is a Redneck?  Could I be one without knowing it?  I have never ever cut a lawn - a line of cke maybe but never a lawn as my window box was never that big.

Maybe I am as I see toilets have come into this equation once more!!!

Willy
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: ttwjr32 on February 23, 2010, 07:59:24 pm
Wiily,

it is a term used in the USA for caucasians of lower social and economic status
Jeff Foxworthy has made a pretty good living out of this on the curcuit doing
standup comedy
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: shaun on February 23, 2010, 09:50:10 pm
You might be a redneck if your mother was the best man at your wedding.
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: rockycoon on February 23, 2010, 11:50:41 pm
those are great, keep them coming

You might be a redneck if, you have 2 rifles and a fishing pole across the back window of your pickup....

You might be a redneck if,  your on a "heavy date" and its your first cousin....

You might be a redneck if, there is a family of mice living in the seat of your truck and its 4th generation...

You might be a redneck if,  the starter key for your truck is a bent nail...
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Neil on February 24, 2010, 01:22:39 am
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .


If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .


If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada ..


If you've had a lengthy  telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada ..


If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .


If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .


If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .


If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada ..


If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in  Canada .


If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .


If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .


If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada ..


If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada .


If you know all 4  seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .  
(this is my favorite, because how true)

If you have more  miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you  find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

If you  actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends,

you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: JimB on February 24, 2010, 01:44:30 am
You might e a redneck if:

You have a Waffle House Credit card

Your inside furniture becomes your outside

If your family tree has no branches

If you go to your family reunion just to find your next wife

If you go to a 5 star hotel and the manager complains that your underwear is hanging off the balcony drying, wait a minute, been there for that one.
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Josh Markley on February 24, 2010, 02:17:48 am
If you think a quarter horse is a ride out front of the wal-mart,
You might be a Redneck.

If You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law,
You might be a Redneck.

If the people on the Jerry Springer show remind you of your neighbors,
You might be a Redneck.

If a seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack,
You might be a Redneck.

If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle,
You might be a Redneck.
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Irishman on February 24, 2010, 02:37:35 am
Ok, I'll bite, why are the yokels called "rednecks" in N America - too much sun exposure from all that loafing around?
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Willy The Londoner on February 24, 2010, 04:37:00 am
Ok I think I get it.   A red neck should not worry about getting divorced - cos they will still be brother and sister!!!!

Willy
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: shaun on February 24, 2010, 04:51:31 am
Quote from: 'Neil' pid='32443' dateline='1266992559'


If you measure distance in hours,   Goes for Texans too
You may live in Canada .


If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .

You might live in Georgia too and I don't know you that well!!!


If you are enjoying this threat a little to much.   You might be a redneck.   Oops!  :icon_eek:

If your avitar used to be John Wayne.  You might be a redneck. :angel:
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Scottish_Rob on February 24, 2010, 09:33:19 am
Quote from: 'shaun' pid='32460' dateline='1267005091'


If your avitar used to be John Wayne.  You might be a redneck. :angel:


HAAHAAHA...Nice one Shaun
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: rockycoon on February 24, 2010, 10:15:37 am
A redneck is what is mentioned above, but also refers to those with short haircuts where the hair on the back of your neck
is cut so short and high, that the sun burns the back of your neck...hence the term "Red Neck".  By the way, they are the oppisite of
Hippy with long hair.

Shaun, nice one,  I owe you one.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:  You-all can marry billie-jean, my first cousin, she can make a mean bean stew and can
pluck a chicken faster than ole red the dog can catch a rabbit for dinner....hahaha

you might be a redneck if the antlers on your hood are still attached
to the deer you hit an hour ago...:icon_cheesygrin:
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Vince G on February 24, 2010, 05:13:52 pm
I don't know if I'm comfortable having my neighbors talked about this way?

One night the maintenance guy knocked on my door asking if I had a bear? A bear? (WTF?) Ohhh a Beer?

They no longer have short hair. Some do but most have the mullet.

mullet: A hairstyle in which the front is cut trim, but the back is long, left wild and often uncut. Even when the back is cut, it is still longer than the front. It is the sign of the redneck.
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Willy The Londoner on February 24, 2010, 05:47:37 pm
Quote from: 'Vince G' pid='32493' dateline='1267049632'


mullet: A hairstyle in which the front is cut trim, but the back is long, left wild and often uncut. Even when the back is cut, it is still longer than the front. It is the sign of the redneck.


Oh My God!!!!!  until last year I was parading around in the style of a ' redneck' .  Now I can understand what they mean't when they kept calling my companion 'yaow sister' on my visits to the USA.

No wonder the only women I attracted there had less teeth than a chicken!!!!!

Willy
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Josh Markley on February 24, 2010, 07:12:34 pm
Mullet = Business in the front Party in the back
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: JimB on February 24, 2010, 08:45:38 pm
Ok, these are true stories.

  When I first moved to North Carolina from Michigan, I called a parts place for my motorhome. I asked the lady if someone could help me find a part.  She said "mikekin help.  I waited, silence, she said yes?  I said" I am waiting for Mike", she said "who" I said "Mike" she said "there aint no Mike here."  Another silence, then she said "Go ahead, I mite kin hep.  I started to laugh and she hung up on me saying "Damn yankee"

I went to rent a home in North Carolina, when I  called the man about his home, he told me, "I aint renting to you, cause you talk funny".  I dropped the phone I was laughing so hard.

I was in a little restaurant in the small town that didnt even have a name, was just called "The Corners" when the waitress asked me if I was a Yankee or a Damned Yankee.  I told her I didnt know what the difference was. She said with a straight face, A Yankee comes down south and spends his money then goes home.  A damn Yankee stays here.  I asked her what do you call a customer that just gets up and walks out, without missing a beat she says"Lucky not to be eatin here."  I went back there a few weeks later with my cousin who grew up there.  Once she knew I was kin to Mitch, everything was fine.  I had some of the best breakfasts in my life in that little place until it shut down.

In the south, the Civil War is referred to as "The War of Northern Aggression", even to this day.  

Even today, when you go trolling or riding in the woods you need to be careful of where you are.  You might just run across a still and they still shoot revenuers.

A RedNeck, is someone who works in the field all day and has short hair, hence the redneck.  Redneck, white socks and Pabst Blue ribbon Beer.
You can call a redneck a redneck or hillbilly, but you had better not call him white trash.  Completely different.
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: rockycoon on February 24, 2010, 10:09:19 pm
All so true...loved the restrauant !  that gal was a hoot ! :icon_cheesygrin:

You might be a redneck if: you buy corn and suger by the gunnysack and it isn't for feeding the animals.

You might be a redneck if: you need a new washer and go out and find a "wringer" for the front porch.

You might be a redneck if:  your idea of a big box store is the local land fill.

You might be a redneck if: you have 4 different brands and 4 different sizes of tires on your truck.

You might be a redneck if: Your idea of a new muffler is a beer can with both ends cut out.

You might be a redneck if: your buddy at Jiffy-lube saves you a couple gals of used oil, to put in your truck for an oil change.

You might be a redneck if: You have to drop the oil pan and scrape the old oil out of your truck.

You might be a redneck if:  You take a roll of toilet paper from the local truck stop to use for an oil filter.

:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Robertt S on February 27, 2010, 10:42:02 pm
If your lawn swing resembles this, you could very well be a Red-Neck!!
If your Holiday decorations follow this theme, you could be a Red-Neck!!!
If you think a professional repair requires duct tape and rope, you might be a Red-Neck!!!!!
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: rockycoon on March 05, 2010, 12:03:58 am
You might be a redneck if...

Your truck uses a "Hefty bag" for a passenger window...

If you go to a funeral and most of the vechicles parked outside are Trucks...
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: Willy The Londoner on March 05, 2010, 12:09:03 am
You may be a red neck is someone asks if your wife is ok after your divorce and you say 'No problem -she's still my sister'

Willy
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: shaun on March 05, 2010, 04:50:43 am
If you spend too much time talking about eggs.
Title: RE: YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF.....
Post by: rockycoon on March 06, 2010, 12:27:11 am
good one Shaun....4 points

Home home on the range, where the deer and antilope play, where if a hen starts to lay, and the winds the wrong way, she can lay that same egg 50 times.....:icon_cheesygrin: