China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Newbies Corner => Topic started by: brett on February 24, 2010, 10:01:14 am
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OK guys, I am really getting fed up with this so I need to let off steam. My lady is working all hours of the day and I seem pretty low down in her list of priorities. She didn't contact me at all during New Year. Now either she is a workaholic or she just doesn't care enough about me.
I just wondered if my fellow brothers had any thoughts about this...
1) I've asked my lady to find me a translator. I've asked her to tell me when I can next visit. She's been so unhelpful about either I just don't know why I'm bothering. Is being especially stubborn a Chinese thing?
2) What can I do about her working all hours of the day and night? Taking a long term view if we got married then her current job is of no value to us right now. I don't want a burnt out wife. I can support her, and she would be far better off learning English all day. She wouldn't be able to do her current job in England anyway (unless her English got much better).
I dearly love the girl, but I really feel as if pretty much nothing has happened in our relationship since I got back from Wuhan. I know her family's illnesses torpedoed our plans but things aren't moving at all this year. I have sent her gifts. I have worked my ass off learning Chinese. I've started two new Internet businesses so we might one day be able to afford to live closer to her parents.
I suppose at the back of my mind is the thought that she really hasn't thought about the fact that if she meets a Western man through a dating site he might actually want to marry her at some stage :dodgy:!
I know I am being a bit of a diva, but I also know damn well that a man has to feel wanted or he simply finds love elsewhere :s.
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I wouldn't call you a Diva Brett.
I actually just finished chatting with Nina. We had a bit of an argument. She is the same, works long hours and she doesn't share enough with me. Like you, I spent two weeks without a word. After, she wouldn't tell me about her vacation. I explained to her that when I have a vacation, I would like to share the experience with her, take pictures etc. I don't know if it is a cultural thing or what.
Nina is frustrated with the language barrier. She can't learn English fast enough, or dedicate enough time to learning it properly. I actually asked our old translator today why women want to marry foreign men when they can't even speak the language. Fucking frustrating.
Maybe it's stupid to have standards and live by them. I am nearly ready to begin my search again.
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Woah slow down Guys.
When you have visited China they gave you time. They were with you. But that time comes at a price. Not many have a boss that will say - 'thats ok have a week or two off' we will still pay you'. They have to make up the time.
And the only way they can make it up is to work extra hours. And we are not talking about catching up on just 38 or 40 hours a week. They are already likely to be working 70 plus hours a week and that takes a lot of weeks to catch up with even at just a couple of hours extra a day.
When I met my now wife - she had a lot of time off work and had to work extra hours including on one occasion she worked through for 24 hours and came home and still cooked my breakfast!!!
Even a doctor I went out with left home for work at 7am every morning and did not get home until 7pm every evening!
Many of your ladys work hundreds of miles from their family and their parents and they may only get to see them once every New Year.
The vast majority do not call every day nor every month - they only call home when they have something important to say and the family only call them to tell them something just as important.
It is something that they have grown up with. They work long hours - not through choice but neccessity. They get home knackered usually have to cook a meal then it is time for bed so they can get up to start the routine again.
My wife did not stop working until she was sure of my intentions. Then it did change her life - but until then and even though she was in a position with the family firm and could return to work at any time, she still did not give up work until she was sure of me.
There can be no room for any doubts before they give up jobs - jobs that are hard to find in China. And you both are voicing thoughts that you have considered starting your search again.
You are both expecting them to give you time that they just do not have. Ok so you hear of men on this forum speaking to their ladies every day. I did before I came over but I could only speak for an hour after she got home from work and whilst she was doing her household chores and before she had her dinner and she always went to bed by 9.30 every day to get up for 6am every morning 13 days in every 14 days.
Frankly all men who are contemplating a relationship with a Chinese Lady have to realise that they just CANNOT give you the same attention that you would expect from a women in your own country.
So before we go on about her not having time for you - then consider how important, the little time she is able to give you, is to her.
Chinese women are different and is that not the very reason that we all came to this forum in the first place.
Willy
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I am not really sure of either of you situations, but in the past my ex had told me once that if she went back to work she may only be able to talk to me only a few hours a month. She told me she worked long hours during the week, and on the weekend she is a tour guide. She had to do this to help support her family(mother&father). Its a possibility that until you are married to the woman her family and career comes first. I would say this is nothing personal, just culture. At times I had trouble with this way of thinking. There were times when we had a planned meeting and she had went out with friends instead. Through her way of thinking is she still had friends and her own life, and she knew the same for me and expected me to do the same. After all after she came to the United States she would only be able to see her family and friends on web cam. I am pretty sure the other guys have told me all of this earlier.
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Brett and Neil.You guys need to read again what Willy and Josh posted.Then read it again.And again until it sinks into your heads.
You guys are not there.They still have there lives and there work to do.They can't just drop everything and set by the computer hopeing that they will see you.
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How many times do we need to repeat that during spring festival you might not hear from your lady?
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Fair and valid points, all of you. I'm not making any rash decisions. I was frustrated and needed to vent. Thankfully you are all more patient than I have been.
The language issue is never going to go away for me. Nina will never have the time to study enough to become fluent. I've told her many times I don't expect her to become fluent until she is fully immersed. I've told her that I will help her any way I can. I've sent language programs, she went to classes, we studied together when we were together... She is worried that she will never be able to communicate properly and she is a very social person. I absolutely understand her fears and concerns.
So the solution is to wait here for a year or more. I've been faithful to her for one year. We've spent a total of 14 days together in that time. Hey, I'm not complaining, it's just frustrating.
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Brett , Neil ... if I had second-guessed about my relationship that way , when the Mail slowed down ... I would not been Married now to my wonderful Lady . Especially around the Spring Festival and that is NOT over till after the 28th of this month . Hope both of you thought about sending your Lady something for the Lantern Festival right after . Anyway , if there are second thought's about your Lady ... maybe she is not for you or she realize's your thought's and feels uncertain about you ?
Stick with it and don't throw in the Towel too fast Guy's .
Good Man Neil , just hang in there ... you'll will not regret it .
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What Willy Said...and it was perfect.
Remember..Different country's --- Different Styles and customs.
Everyone calm down and keep in mind that if they said they loved you, they do, leave it at that. Trust is a big part of marrage.
Show them that you trust them, and they will love you for that.
Keep in mind also that they have to work for a living there just like
you have to work here. If you were living with them and supporting
them it would be a different story. So just relax and keep in mind
that they love you.
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Brett, Neil,
Guys, think of this as a challenge. Whether it is life or your ladies, but someone is testing your resolve. I'm sure your ladies love you. But this is also catchup season for them. Because they get a week to two weeks off, they do have to catch up to their quotas. They might not show it, but not talking or seeing you guys is probably taking a toll on them as well.
Trust me, I haven't spoken to my lady for nearly a week. She went to go see some relatives who live a good distance away and then once she returned (yesterday for me), she had to get ready to leave today (well, yesterday) to take a 15 hour train ride to her new job. She's going to need a day to recover and organize herself in her new living space. I do miss her a lot! But I know that she will be back. I sent her an email and I know she will reply once she has a chance.
I've been told that I am very cliched, but I do believe in the saying ... "Good things come to those who wait". Give your ladies the time and support they need and when they get a chance, they will return that in spades to you.
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Thanks guys, there's some useful stuff here, especially from Willy!
Actually I think the fact that my lady is quite independent will suit me quite well if we actually get to the marriage stage. But at the moment it sucks. It also doesn't help that I've hit one of those troughs in life when pretty much everything is rubbish. I'm really annoyed my Valentine's parcel has gone awol as well, that would have scored a lot of :heart::heart::heart:.
I am starting to think that our future lies in Asia, so at least I can keep myself busy learning the language and setting up some cash cows that would make it all possible to move over there in a few years. I think we will end up being next door neighbours to Mr & Mrs Willy :icon_cheesygrin:.
Anyway, hang in there Neil, Nina is lovely! Is your local area multicultural? If so tell Nina about all the Chinese stores, mixed race couples you've seen etc.! I am very lucky in that the UK is so multicultural and there are so many Chinese students in work that sometimes I feel I'm back in Wuhan. In fact the only showstopper is that I can't find Chinese pineapple beer in the UK and I don't know if my lady will be able to live without it :dodgy:.
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Well here's a bit of an update.
Having thought about things a bit more, I do appreciate what my brothers are telling me here. Yes it would be tragic to let cultural differences to spoil a promising relationship. I am desparately trying to keep our relationship alive. But guys, it takes two people to have a relationship, and I have to face up to the facts that I am doing most of the work here.
Yes my lady is busy but then so am I. I am not naive. I know she has QQ on her phone and I know she checks it constantly. She refuses to discuss travel plans and hasn't appeared to have made a damn bit of effort in finding me a new translator like I requested. I am really sick to death of messing around with Google translations - today it is actually giving me different translations of identical text that I typed yesterday. I need a translator and I don't know who I can trust enough, so I want my lady to find one.
So regretfully I've had to send her a tough love email. It would burn me up inside to end our relationship but there is no shortage of beautiful ladies in China, and from speaking to the sisters on this board I know just how anxious they are to find a husband.
I'm sorry to say that my time since I got back from Wuhan has been the most miserable of my entire life. I don't mind the waiting between visits, but I do mind being messed around :@.
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Brett, I hear you, but before you jump to conclusions be sure. I'm holding on for dear life to the relationship hoping I'm not being played either. I don't see that I am but there's that little bit that keeps the door open. But for now until I KNOW different, I'm sticking with her.
My lady took a new job. She had said that the boss takes the employees on vacations to other countries? She would be going with (this past January). She's never flown on a plane or been out of China. So what am I going to do? Tell her no?
She said she was going to South Africa at the beginning of January and will be back before the (chinese) new year. For January I sent a total of 2 emf's. She got a new phone and was getting a sim card when she got back so I can't call. Her last letter she said they are doing some business there (forming a partnership) and will stay a while longer. A few days ago I sent a letter and also sent an email to the translator, Where is she? The letter shows as delivered? and the translator emailed back, she might be there for another month? She hasn't emailed me, no phone calls, just a few letters (short). But I have to trust her. It's her work. I have to give her the benefit of the doubt.
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Brett, I hear you, but before you jump to conclusions be sure. I'm holding on for dear life to the relationship hoping I'm not being played either. I don't see that I am but there's that little bit that keeps the door open. But for now until I KNOW different, I'm sticking with her.
My lady took a new job. She had said that the boss takes the employees on vacations to other countries? She would be going with (this past January). She's never flown on a plane or been out of China. So what am I going to do? Tell her no?
She said she was going to South Africa at the beginning of January and will be back before the (chinese) new year. For January I sent a total of 2 emf's. She got a new phone and was getting a sim card when she got back so I can't call. Her last letter she said they are doing some business there (forming a partnership) and will stay a while longer. A few days ago I sent a letter and also sent an email to the translator, Where is she? The letter shows as delivered? and the translator emailed back, she might be there for another month? She hasn't emailed me, no phone calls, just a few letters (short). But I have to trust her. It's her work. I have to give her the benefit of the doubt.
If your lady is extremely comely do beware of the boss, my ex had a lot of unwanted attention from her bosses, at least 3 of them, and usually dirty old men lool, one even had a wife & mistress already.
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Thanks Vince.
Yes I am holding on for dear life. I'm reasonably sure there are no other men involved. I'm not sending her any more money (although I didn't send that much anyway). I know that her job is demanding. Heck, when I went to Japan my hotel was opposite an office and the salarymen were having board meetings at 10pm. Asians like to work all hours, but I'm not sure they are any more productive than we are. When I was in China there was an awful lot of that QQ Farm thing going on in offices!!!
I have got used to the gaps in communication. That's what my lady is like, and I have to put up with it.
My main problem is that we are going nowhere. There is no point us continuing if all we can talk about on QQ is cats and the weather. For me the ditching of the agency EMF translator for reasons unknown was a disaster. I have been exceptionally patient. I waited while her mother recovered, I waited until New Year was over. How much longer should I wait? I am on the verge of losing my precious holiday entitlement, and that hurts.
I'll see what my lady says after reading my email. I am sure we can talk things over - if not then I guess I'll go visit my uncle in Thailand, he assures me that he can find me a lovely wife!
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If your lady is extremely comely do beware of the boss, my ex had a lot of unwanted attention from her bosses, at least 3 of them, and usually dirty old men lool, one even had a wife & mistress already.
Yeah that's one of the things I was worried about. But she did give mention to she is being good, without me asking. Her coworkers are mixed (men and women). So what choice is there? Unless I am told different? I do trust her our whole relationship has been all truth. She's not the sleep around type.
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each situation is different, and everyone is telling Brett to hang in there but has anyone
read what he has written? after months of chatting they still talk about weather and cats??
i agree with Brett as hard as this sounds but maybe it is time to move on as he said but trying
the last ditch effort to get her to communicate is worth a try. there comes a time when busy is
just an excuse as these ladies will and do find the time to communicate if they are really interested
or serious. their dedication to appraoch is remarkable when they want something
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Ted,
You are so, so right in your comments about the Chinese woman, when she is serious about her man!! I have never quite understood bros here going to meet there lady, and the lady has all but kept these bros at arms length!! THAT is not the sign of an interested lady in China, not by any stretch of the imagination... Frankly, ....a lady that showed no emotional interest during the first meeting visit, would be left by the wayside, and for sure i wouldn't have suffered that for 10 to 14 days.... The back-up plan would have kicked in long before that ...lol!!!
David.....
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im glad someone agrees with me on this as hard as the facts might be. i wouldnt spend the
time visiting a lady who has kept me at arms lenth! when they are interested they would sleep
2 hours a day just so they had the time to chat with you online, qq or whatever. their determination
is a direct reflection of their joy of wanting to be with you:icon_biggrin:
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Brett, My own opinion is you should give her one more chance to see if you can save this relationship. We all know that it sounds as if it is going nowhere. But on the other hand we are all saying stick with it Brett - it will work out - no problem! We are all trying to be nice and friendly. Probably too friendly for your own good. We know that we get these moments of dispair from you and then the next day you suprise us by telling us all is lovey dovey again.
We know that reading your input that you like her a lot but you are a grown man you know that YOU liking HER a lot is a bit one sided. It needs to be reciprocated. She has to show you how much she cares!
I think that you have made the right decision in contacting her with an ultimatum. If she does not reply positively then you have to bite the bullet and say ' Our relationship is finished'. You then have to collect yourself together and work on the future.
You are diligent in learning Chinese and are working hard at it as far as I can see. Much harder than me and I really need to know more of the language - so do not give that up.
If she cannot reply in the mode you need then move on and stick with China. You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette (oh my God not those eggs again). You have a lot of holiday entitlement left - use that and get back over here as soon as you can.
What we do not want to hear is that she has accepted that she was wrong etc etc etc and that everything will change for the better etc etc. And then a week or two later you are going through these same trials again.
We have been with you every step of the way on this journey and you have given us indepth information - probably opened your inner feelings more than any other. So make a decision on her reply and stick with it. If she cannot be bothered to reply to such an important message then just do not make excuses for her - say thanks and move on.
Come to our part of China and Ted and I will help you get over any heartbreak. I even no a couple of girls that will give you a message - oops Massage!
Willy
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I agree with Ted, and David50. Quite honestly you have been having trouble from the very beginning and if she is not giving you what you need out of the relationship, it is time to move on. It needs to be a two way street. You cant hang on just to hang on. It is 100% your decision, but personally I would have cut it a long time ago.
I know I am damned lucky. But even though my wife worked/s 60 hours a week, she still makes/made time to chat twice a day. this was also before we were married. If she didnt at least put in the effort of an e mail, I dont know if we could have carried it off. She takes a lot of time off when I am here but when I am not she has to work straight through, sometimes for a month with only one day off to make up for it. We had our troubles and I think we will probably have some more but I am 1000 per cent sure of her love and she is of mine. As Vinnie said you have to have trust and if you dont, forget about it.
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Trust very important as Jim said and im sorry for the hard stand but if this woman
really wanted a relationship she would make the time as all the sincere women do
when they are interested. no sense sugar coating it and continuing as there are far
to many out there who would appreciate someone who puts a lot of effort into it.
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Thanks guys.
I guess the problem is that we just didn't spend enough time together, hence why I wanted to return to China in January. That was an excellent plan, then her mother got sick and everything was derailed.
After October's visit we had a few issues to discuss, but I was doing quite well resolving them via the translator. Then my lady left her agency and that was that.
Sure I think we have some big hurdles but I'm sure we would have a great life together. However, I just don't think she has really thought it all through.
I think she would not like to leave her family behind, especially when it's clear that I have been sold a mistruth - it seems her parents just can't cope without her after all.
I also do not know if finding a husband is really her idea or her mother's.
As to being busy in work, no of course I don't buy that as an excuse at all. Hell I have a day job and 3 internet businesses but I still found time to find a lady.
I like the idea of moving to China. Actually Willy's neck of the woods looks good and I think Zuhai might be a good place to live. But I have to face facts here, my Internet income is dropping like a stone and I believe it's telling me that another serious recession is on the way. There is no way I'm leaving the UK until I am mortgage free and have a lot more cash in the bank. I tell my ladies in EMF #1 that they will have to move here, and I am not changing that (unless they're rich lol).
I have thought about finding another, in fact I did speak to a couple of ladies on chnlove. I did actually find a lovely lady from Harbin, she had the same scientific career background as me and I think we would have got on really well. I think she would have enjoyed this horrible UK Winter! But she was a bit overweight (I don't have a problem with that) and I guess she had body issues as she sent me some photos without her in them! Maybe I'll give her another go.
Anyhow, I wish I could find somebody as great as Miss Wu. I'll keep looking on chnlove - maybe I'll try blossoms as well, Shaun seems to rave about the place. I do still like the idea of finding a Chinese wife. It was a spur of the moment decision last July but I still know it's exactly what I want.
I need to take 3 weeks vacation by the end of April so you guys better start looking for my next lady! Maybe my Chinese teacher knows some relative in Wuhan that is looking for love, I'll ask her this afternoon :icon_cheesygrin:!
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Yeah they will show effort when they want to. During the Chinese New Year, I was back in my hometown and my friend, he got a gal flew all the way from China to meet him. Heck, she even booked a hotel with a big king sized bed. He didn't have to pay for airfare or hotel, just do the sightseeing thing. Must have cost her like maybe 6000RMB maybe for the whole week? How's that for seriousness?
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Yes the lack of effort troubles me. While Miss Wu has knitted me the longest and most beautiful scarf in history, she hasn't really done a lot else.
Anyway, here's a micro-update. Still no Miss Wu. That's been the story of my life since I got back from Wuhan. Maybe there's a technical reason for it (communications equipment is a bit tempermental in smaller cities) I don't know. Why should I keep thinking up excuses for her? Yes I know her job is all consuming but I know her parents have money and would support her while she put all her effort into finding a man.
So I have been trawling chnlove and I am pleased to report that the quality of lady is higher than ever. I think I will begin a new search in Shanghai. It's easy to get to from the UK, the hotels are way cheaper than places like Wuhan (well according to Expedia anyway), and it would be the easiest place for me to find work should I ever move there. I'll send out some cupid notes tonight, although I've seen one that's so lovely I don't think I can wait that long lol :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Brett,
If what you've been saying about your Miss Wu is correct, and you think she is ''Great'' ....You will have no trouble whatsoever finding a lady in China that will match and probably surpass Miss Wu in just about every conceivable area. But the most important of all, will be her willingness to go out of her way to show you that, YOU are HER man. Just you wait and see, the difference will be remarkable!!!
David....
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i agree David once you start searching again then you will find a lady
to make you forget the other fast especially if the other doesnt talk with you
also in another post Brett you mentioned that you sent money for
her parents hospital care or bill. and she spent it on a new outfit
and handbag??? is anybody thinking the same as me??/
Brett i would leave this one by the wayside
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Sorry for the late interruption there Brett. Chinese ladies are less blunt then western ones. Western ones will dump you and kick you. The Chinese ones will ignore you and reduce communication significantly and you are suppose to pickup the sign. From what I read of it, she's not interested and you should just move on.
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i agree with you Regnis they do have a way of just ignoring you if they lose interest
and its to bad she took Brents money and bought a new outfit. but as they say we
learn from are mistakes and i have great experience on that
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I did actually find a lovely lady from Harbin, she had the same scientific career background as me and I think we would have got on really well. I think she would have enjoyed this horrible UK Winter! But she was a bit overweight (I don't have a problem with that) and I guess she had body issues as she sent me some photos without her in them! Maybe I'll give her another go.
Maybe she is a good scientist Brett and invented real invisibility. Perhaps she has been practising on Miss Wu!!!!!:icon_cheesygrin:
Stop being a candle in the wind Brett. You've gone from possibly going to Zhuhai then changed to Shanghai in the matter of two consecutive posts!
First decide on the place - Shenzen, Zhongshan or Zhuhai are the easist to get to from Hong Kong which is serviced by a large number of aircraft ever day from London.
Sort out your location then look for a non photo-shopped lady who has the brains of Einstein, the patience of Job, the wisdom of Solomon and the love skills of Aphrodite and looks of Venus. She will need all these to fit your criteria.:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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Ha ha ha well someone has made Miss Wu disappear, that's for sure.
Suffice to say that if and when she reappears there will be some serious talking to do. I don't know what the problem is. Maybe her parents are sick again, maybe they've gone off the Western husband idea, maybe her boss has posted her off on some distant assignment, maybe something was organised and decided over the new year, who knows?
I am working on other ideas. I know full well that Miss 100% does not exist. Whichever lady I choose my life will take a completely different path.
I really don't want to mess around other ladies until I have some sort of closure on Miss Wu, so I've been writing down a list of P numbers, and I'll contact them once the Miss Wu issue is resolved. I'll contact scientist lady again, although I'm fed up with this winter so I'm sure as hell not going to Harbin next :dodgy:! Actually it might be OK because the last I heard she was working overseas.
I have a mountain of vacation time to use, so lady or no lady I would like to get away and practice my new Chinese language skills. Maybe I could put Rob in my suitcase and get him to find me a lady on the street :angel:.
I had my Chinese reading test yesterday and I cannot believe that I can now read a whole page of characters - 6 months ago that would have seemed an impossibility.
I have always wanted to go to Shanghai so that is where I will start my next lady search. There are also a few jobs I could do there so it's a good choice. I'm not sure if there is a brotherhood in Shanghai or whether everyone is in the Changsha/Gz camp. Zuhai would have been a potential place to live if things had worked out with Miss Wu.
I just wish my Chinese teacher was 20 years younger, I don't ever think I have met such an enthusiastic person and I can see why you guys adore your Chinese ladies so much! :icon_cheesygrin:.
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Brett,
Shanghai!!!! .....You really are a glutton for punishment aren't you!!! I'm not saying that ALL the ladies from that area are out for what they can get, but it sure ain't the safest or best place to look for genuine women in China. They have to be the most clued up women on westerners in China, probably because it has always been in the past (even more so now) a westerners area. Your certainly NOT going to be the only western guy walking around Shanghai, that i can guarantee....
What are you waiting for then Brett?? What sort of closure are you looking for, or Need??
I wouldn't mind betting, if you didn't contact her again, you wouldn't hear another word from her!!
David......
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Brett I’ve read your last several posts. I wanted to tell you to cut and run. You are giving way too much excuses for her. The sick mother thing was used on me last summer and come to find out when I scanned my laptop a couple of weeks ago she actually got a visa to Belgium and stayed there for 3 months lol. She too said her mother was sick in fact her mother had a hysterectomy and would be in bed for 3 months, and she would have to take care of her mother’s business LOL. Oh do I have a story to tell how I was played. I so will not let myself be this nieve again.
One thing to remember the one who The power in a relationship lies with the one who needs it the least. For me I have embraced this philosophy again.
Oh and David she was one of those Chinese princesses.
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Brett,
I dont know either what kind of closure your looking for and why you want to wait until
you start talking to another. This woman used you and is probably to busy getting more
money from another variety of men out there. I mean come on you send her money for
her mother's bills and she spends it on a new outfit??? for herself!!!!! Any chinese lady
that was interested in you and wanted to have a relationship with you would have put
that money away and waited for your arrival to give back. No contact!!!!! Instead of
walking into the wall on a continuos basis move a little to the right, open the door and
move on. holy cow there are to many genuine ladies out there. And Shanghia is full of
to many princesses, you will be right back in this mess again. Especially with the younger
ones there.
Ted
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You know ... you Guy's bashing the Shanghai Lady's , makes me want to scream sometimes .. because my Wife's from there . But on the other Hand how right you are . As I met a 30 year old from there before I found my other half and to think " I " wasn't good enough for her . Ha ha .. guess my Wallet wasn't big enough as my Heart was . What a fool ? Well she found a English Gentleman that got her to England in three weeks time . He never told anybody how he did it so fast and she still has not said thanks for the B-day Cake I send her . What a Bi*** !!!
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Arnold,
im not bashing women from Shanghai just saying that they are a little more wiser to the
western ways and really know how to play the man if this is what they choose and there are
a lot of these situations that happen from this area and also Nanning. just from my observations,
experience over the past 8 years and from what i have heard from people in general in
conversations that have also stayed in these areas and then moved on to other parts of China.
so its not meant to be bashing from me just words of caution. and the women who do this are the
much younger ones meaning 20 ---- 30 range. the men looking for eye candy will be burnt quite
a few times before they find a good one a majority of the time. i can introduce you to may expats living
here in GZ who tried that route before they finally got one a little older to be with them and are
now happy.
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Ha ha ha well someone has made Miss Wu disappear, that's for sure.
Suffice to say that if and when she reappears there will be some serious talking to do. I don't know what the problem is. Maybe her parents are sick again, maybe they've gone off the Western husband idea, maybe her boss has posted her off on some distant assignment, maybe something was organised and decided over the new year, who knows?
Lots more maybe's Brett.
Just one more.
Maybe it's time to 'Ditch the ...........'!!!! and get on with your life.
You are going nowhere with this one. Lets face it you can find dozens more that will show you they are interested in Brett as a person. Not just a possible ticket to the West.
I told you of my suspicions long ago when this Miss Wu did not want to marry you in China but wanted you to get her to the UK to marry you there.
I like most others on here think she just wants a ticket out of China.
The mystery of her name and the difference in her address and the address of the agency and her leaving the agency suddenly and making no contact with you. No physical contact with you when you were here - not even a kiss and you travelled thousands of miles! She is definately a Chinese puzzle!!!!!!
Probably it was her request not to mention her name on here!! That started a red flag flying for some.
You probably frightened the life out of her by telling her that maybe you would come and live in China.
HANDS up those who think he should still wait for this women! (LONG PAUSE) As I thought not one hand went up Brett.
I think everyone on here except one person knows that this relationship is at at end - no contact, no nothing from her. She justs wants you quietly to forget her - she is like many Chinese ladies - she does not want to tell you directly but just hopes that you will take a hint and fade away but is at the same time willing to take cash from you to buy clothes to attract other men.
Forget about moving here to live - your place is in UK -but do not waste the rest of your holiday entitlement - the spring weather is on us in the South and every day is pleasant now. Make the most of it.
Finance is no problem for you to get over here and meet up with some of the brothers. Let them point you to places where you may well find what you are hoping for.
I like the rest of the Brothers want, no not want, i think need is the right word - NEED to start reading a thread entitled - Brett Reloaded and that way you can definately help us by reducing our blood pressure!!!!
Willy
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Ted , I know how you and other are only warning Guy's about the younger ones from there . I seen it with my own Eyes on four Visit's . They look at you with Dollar sign's in their Eyes , but the older ones I've met while with Qing are very much honest with you and like you for you .. not your ATM in your pocket .
David 51 ( he should be getting older too ) has mentioned so many times , go with the more Mature Woman , not the Eye Candy or Beauty Queen .
Willy ... love your Profile Photo . Looking at your Box of Eggs there ... your one at a time now , instead of 10 . Thinking back in Time , after seeing Cool Hand Luke ... I told my late Wife I can do this too ... fifty Egg's in one Hour . Yeah ... after 13 in 8 minutes it was all over and I could not look at another Egg for a very long time .:icon_eek:
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Willy ... love your Profile Photo . Looking at your Box of Eggs there ... your one at a time now , instead of 10 . Thinking back in Time , after seeing Cool Hand Luke ... I told my late Wife I can do this too ... fifty Egg's in one Hour . Yeah ... after 13 in 8 minutes it was all over and I could not look at another Egg for a very long time .:icon_eek:
I thought that I could do the Cool Hand Luke bit - but eggs are high in Cholersterol. Look what happened to Paul Newman - he died a mere forty odd years later!!
So maybe better to talk eggs than eat them!!!
Willy
PS anyone want to go for the record - I have more than 75 left!!!!!
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Willy that makes for one hell of an omelette.
20 lbs mushrooms
10 lbs green onions (chopped)
10 lbs chopped sausage
1 lb celantro
1 lb hot peppers (chopped)
10 lbs chopped tomato's
75 eggs
mix everything except eggs, fry eggs and put chopped goodies in middle, fold very very carefully (use a shovel)
cook a little while until firm, turn over with shovel.
call the brothers or your wife or the neighborhood for breakfast.....:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:
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breakfast or early lunch at Willy's now that Rocky sent him the recipe
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Hi Brett,
it does not usually work the first time.
But it sometimes works the second time.
Like you, I am English, I am learning Chinese in a Chinese class, for almost as long as you, but I think you are learning faster than me.
I went to China last May and was scammed, but I learned a lot. I learned to love China.
Now I am hoping to be married next month to the second lady I met who is real. I met her and the physical compatibility was present immediately. Without that, the best you can hope for is a penpal.
I calculate that there are about a hundred million Chinese women who would appreciate you, be wowed by your Chinese speaking and want to get to know you. Don't waste time.
I hope your ex and her hamster bag will be very happy together. Start writing to someone else, pick someone who floats your boat, get onto webcam as soon as possible, you will get a feeling for what you have in common and you may get a flutter when she smiles at you, and you may start to miss her when you don't see her for a few days.
Go to China. You are very lucky to have generous holiday entitlement, a luxury some others don't.
Then when you visit China, learn about how much you are attracted to each other with the same dedication that you show to learn Chinese. You will know by the way she looks at you. Take her hand at the earliest opportunity. There is nothing quite like holding the hand of a beautiful Chinese lady as she shows you around her city. If my lady wanted to read me the entire contents of the Chinese telephone directory while holding my hand, I would be happy as a pig in shit.
Go to China and make contact.
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This is just like pulling teeth!!! ....it's the ''Don't take a Suit to China'' episode all over again!!!
Just what does it take to convince you Brett???
Philip,
Hahaha!! ... That is one of my long time favourite sayings, It's just So Descriptive, with that touch of humour... haha!!
David.....
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This is just like pulling teeth!!! ....it's the ''Don't take a Suit to China'' episode all over again!!!
Just what does it take to convince you Brett???
Philip,
Hahaha!! ... That is one of my long time favourite sayings, It's just So Descriptive, with that touch of humour... haha!!
David.....
Mind you I did admit to Brett that during the cold spell here I was glad I did take a suit as I wore that under my leather jacket all day.
:icon_cheesygrin:
Willy
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Willy,
No thick jeans or jumpers in your wardrobe there?? Got to be more comfortable than wearing a suit all day.... Surely!!!!
Plus, ....There's always the ''All -in-one'' undies to keep that chill out, and protect the crown jewels from frost bite!! lol!!
David....
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Willy,
No thick jeans or jumpers in your wardrobe there?? Got to be more comfortable than wearing a suit all day.... Surely!!!!
Plus, ....There's always the ''All -in-one'' undies to keep that chill out, and protect the crown jewels from frost bite!! lol!!
David....
Just emergency attire - only needed that for a couple of days. could not afford the extra - saving up for an egg poacher.
Willy
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dont need the cold weather clothes for long stretches
were Willy and i live