China Romance
General Discussion and Useful Links => Ask An Experienced Member => Topic started by: Nad on August 03, 2009, 07:28:51 am
-
Hi everyone,
I would like to ask for some opinions as to what you may think is going on with receiving an EMF letter from my Fiancée. For about the last 2 months I have been in correspondence with my lady be private email, just yesterday I received an EMF letter saying quote “How are you recently? I haven't heard from your for a pretty long time". There is more to the letter. On the day of receiving this letter my Ladies profile was refreshed after nearly 7, months of remaining unrefreshed. So this sets of a few alarm bells for me, so I emailed my lady telling her about it. To make a longer letter short, she has asked me not to respond to it. She has asked me to believe her and believe in her, that there is nothing going on with her, we are planning to meet and marry in September. I would really like to hear any comments about what you think is in play here in regard to this occurrence.
Regards NAD
-
Nad,
Did she give you a plausable answer in her return mail, apart from what you have told us here??
David....
-
Nad...Sounds to me that this is the agency trying to drum up business....
If she is asking you not to respond to it, then she will know that it's 'not' really from her....
Trust goes a long long way mate, ask yourself one question, do you believe and trust her, as you said your in private emails, that tells you something mate, if scam was meant I don't think she would have given you her Private address...
-
Nad,
Did she give you a plausable answer in her return mail, apart from what you have told us here??
David....
Hi David,
Yeah she did say that the agent wasn't so good and wanting to make money. Also that she has broken cotract with the agency and I am not sure as to why? I do not know what she is trying to tell me, I feel it is getting lost in the translations.
Nad...Sounds to me that this is the agency trying to drum up business....
If she is asking you not to respond to it, then she will know that it's 'not' really from her....
Trust goes a long long way mate, ask yourself one question, do you believe and trust her, as you said your in private emails, that tells you something mate, if scam was meant I don't think she would have given you her Private address...
Hey Rob,
yeah you are right about trusting her and believing in her, and I do believe her. I felt from the beggining that agency was involved here. But it was more as to why the agency was getting involved?
-
Nad,
OK, from the little you have told here, it's very possible that the agency is trying to get some EMF's rolling in to make some extra monies from her. Now, .... when you say private email , do you mean the emails that get translated by the translator at the agency, or her actual private email address ?? Agency emails normally start with the lady's name and have a 3 digit number after the name, virtually all are yahoo accounts.... If she is using her own private email address she could well be breaking her agency contract.
Having said that, the agency would still be rubbing there hands together, at the thought of the marriage fee coming there way, and wouldn't care much about the odd EMF fee's there losing.
I can't honestly see why your lady would jeopardize your relationship so near to your wedding plans, unless of course she is having seconds thoughts, which doesn't seem to be the case according to your post above.
David....
-
:s Nad, Lets be logical. Your in private email with the lady so the agency has no idea if the two of you are still corresponding. They see nothing going on with the profile so they refresh it and send a EMF to you to get a response. Trust your lady. If she broke it off from the agency and doesn't even like them she has her reasons. One big reason is she doesn't have to pay a fee when you go there and marry.
She's a smart girl. I'd be interested in how she broke away from them?
-
Vince,
That was going to be my next reply to Nad, if they were indeed using her Personal/private email address. Just wanted to make sure what type of email they were actually using.... lol!!
David .....
-
:s Nad, Lets be logical. Your in private email with the lady so the agency has no idea if the two of you are still corresponding. They see nothing going on with the profile so they refresh it and send a EMF to you to get a response. Trust your lady. If she broke it off from the agency and doesn't even like them she has her reasons. One big reason is she doesn't have to pay a fee when you go there and marry.
She's a smart girl. I'd be interested in how she broke away from them?
Hey Vince,
yeah you are right, she is smart!. And I do trust her, I have said that to her. I do feel that someone is fishing here, but I don't like the bait.
-
"but I don't like the bait."
Replying to them will imply there is a relationship and they may try to get the fee this way. That's why she said "don't reply"
-
Vince, Nad.
I think the meaning of Nad's lady, about ''broken contract'' means that she has broken the contract terms, (using a private email address) not that she has broken away from them. Hell now that would be a feat to boast about, she really would be very, very smart to do that!!!!.
David.....
-
David, The contracts I have read doesn't say you have to communicate only with EMF's. Each agency has a basic contract but worded for there business. I would just go with her way if I were Nad.
-
Vince,
Yeah, quite agree with you about going her way on this one ....
The agencies don't like the ladies going outside of there area of control, which is why they have the agency controlled emails, which is part of the the deal with the ladies enrolment fee (contract). The EMF's are an added bonus to the agencies from chnlove. It's obvious why the agencies want to be in control, from begining to end, .... They want to pick-up all these seperate fee's along the way!!
There's lot's of ways to get round all this by thinking outside of the box. The downside is, that you then can't use the agency, for any of there expertise or in-house services.
David...
-
Nad follow what David,Vince,And Rob are telling you.Your lady has cut off the agency and the agency is just fishing for money.
When you go to China you will have to help your lady a little bit.Don't contact the agency don't send them a email telling them your comming.Keep it all between you and the lady
If this is your first trip to China.Have the backup plan.Agency name number and address.In case this isn't what your looking for.
-
Nad , Do not worry and do not contact agency , they will probably send out admirer letters also in her name to other unsuspecting guys , if the 2 of you keep away from agency , not a lot they can do , my Ying had her profile refreshed last month , but as we met elsewhere they are probably also sending out letters in her name , but she has never seen 1 answer in nearly 12 months , but until she is married or they lose interest she is listed , they will not cancel , regards Robert .p.s leaving in 10 days for engagement .
-
David, You are right. The agencies will fail to mention they can talk outside the EMF's and other ways. They even downplay the move to phones and such but Chnlove and the contracts say the women can. Who knows what else they are telling these ladies but some know how to get around the unset rules.
-
If this is your first trip to China.Have the backup plan.Agency name number and address.In case this isn't what your looking for.
Maxx, how do you find the agency's address and phone number? I'd like to have this information before I leave for my trip as well. I have her translator's phone number but that's it.
-
Neil.
That numbers just as good as the official agency number. You can contact the agency, and ask them to email you there location address in both English and Chinese and there business telephone number. (postal address maybe a post office box)
By them emailing you with the above information, .... you will also have there email address!!
You can also write a short note to the translator on your ladies EMF or Agency email, asking for the same information...
David....
-
I also got the address from an invitation letter that was sent to me from Keren.:icon_biggrin:
-
Hmm, I didn't get an invitation letter. :icon_cry:
Thanks David. Yeah, I guess you're right. I just hate asking things behind my girls back, in the same message as one I send to her. Not that I don't trust her or I want to hide things from her, I just would like to have all my bases covered. I really wish they had better contact information for the individual agencies and translators. I did make a suggestion about that in the Chnlove suggestion forums but I doubt it will go anywhere.
-
Neil,
I don't think the translator will think anything of it, by you asking for that information. You can always just say that you may need to contact them in an emergency situation, and you'd like to have that information to hand!! I'm sure you can think of other legitimate excuses/reasons, as well as my one...hahaha!!
David.....
-
I just asked the translator at the bottom of a letter. I think it was a simple "I need to contact you" She sent everything, address, cell ph #, email address, IM name, times to call, bra size?
-
Nad,
My two cents...from what you and other have said so far about this EMF letter, it seems clear to me that your lady had nothing to do with writing it (no purpose or motivation on her part), but that the agency tried it to make contact with you, possibly because your lady is no longer in touch with them (here is the motivation), and they want to keep in touch because there may be a contractual agreement for money to be paid in the future if your relationship works out successfully...
Scott
I Scott,
Yes I do agree with you on this issue. I felt along that the agency was behind it all, however there was still the issue of refreshing her profile after so many months of being unchanged. I did not think my girl changed it,however what would be reasoning of the agency changing it?.
Regards Nad.
-
By reading all of it, for sure, I direct think the agency just wants to make some money, and uses this lady's profile to write you, just because you wrote her before.
Just to know, but... before you got that EMF, how did you end the other EMF you sent her?
Did you say something like "I hear having news from you soon"? or anything like that?
Maybe one of the other "options" would be (why not?) to write back that EMF, saying you disagree to go on with her and tha you don't want to hear anymore about her (no need to argue)...but she also knows via mail that you're still behind her and that you still want to meet her and so on ;)
You can also choose to not reply that EMF, maybe will the agency try to write to other persons... if so, maybe one point to check would be to know what's the ID of that lady, so that nobody her would be "in contact" with her (or better should I say "with the agency using her profile"..
Maybe can she also choose to delete her profile?
-
Nad,
As you have been told, .... there fishing!! If anyone sends an EMF to her and she doesn't answer, they'll
have an idea that she is still talking to YOU. She should have hidden her profile a while ago, that way the agency wouldn't have been able to refresh it.....
If she does get mail, she needs to contact the agency and give a good reason why she is not interested in getting involved with anyone right now. Maybe a sickness in the family, heartbroken over your break-up (haha) Anyway you know the sort of thing, .....anything that will keep them off her back!! Or, just let your lady sort it all out, she seems to have the smarts about the agency workings!!
David....
-
She should have hidden her profile a while ago, that way the agency wouldn't have been able to refresh it.....
I think she already had her profile hidden but the agency just refreshed it.('think Dan talked about it in the beginning of his thread)
-
Sly,
Nope, nothing mentioned about the profile being hidden,
just that it wasn't refreshed for 7 months...
David....
-
the young lady i've been conversing with informed me last week that her agency
asked her if she wished to refresh her profile. so in this particular case, they
asked. Shenzhen Moonlove, P670
-
David, well, to me, hidden or not refreshed for 7 months is a bit the same, because I won't look at old profiles in fact. But I do understand ;)
By the way, Liyan told me the agency seems like using pictures of her:huh:
I then asked why, she smiled and said something like "do you scare me to see other man?"
I then replied "you can if you want" but she replied that there was only me.
She also said the agency contacted her but that she did not have time to reply to letters and anything else...
-
guys whether the profile is hidden or not, dom't be put off, I was feeling the same about my lady, when I checked it is always getting refreshed. This does not mean anything, look at WHEREABOUTS on the refreshed pages you lady is, mine was on page 19/22 or something, if people are looking they have to go through a lot of beautiful ladies to get to mine:angel:
-
For anyone that has made formal promises between you and your lady, it would be better all round if both parties hide there profile on chnlove. If nothing else it shows some sort of commitment to ach other, and the Agencey can't renew a hidden profile.... as it's quite a pointless exercise if it's hidden!!
I read here that an agency actually asked the lady if she would like her profile refreshed. I would say that is usually not the norm with these agencies, this must be one of the better ones.....
Your ladies profile might be at page # 20 now, but if refreshed, ..... they go to page #1 !!!!!
Anyway, we were talking about Nad's lady, .....weren't we??
David......
-
David I checked this possblity also every day for two weeks and never moved up more than 3 places.
Yes we were talking about Nads lady, I was just putting mine as an example.
-
Rob,
If the profile is refreshed, the profile goes on the next batch, to go to Page 1, it doesn't stay where it is at say page 19. Your ladies profile obviously wasn't refreshed mate !!
David.....