Greetings brothers,
Well i cant sleep and Zhen wont be here until noon tomorrow (today?) so I will post some more stuff.
On my last post I mentioned i couldnt remember what scenic sight we saw on day 4 I think it was. Well silly me how could anyone forget, we did the great wall at Badaling. Now we of course were stupid and signed up for the whole tour package. What an experience that was.
First the tour guide had to tell us about every rock and blade of grass along the entire bus ride. We stopped at a bunch of irrelevant places to do relatively minor and insignificant stuff, except for one thing. We took in the beijing wax museum. That was quite a good place to visit and i got pictures of almost all the exhibits.
The rest of the many stops on the trip really sucked as far as I was concerned and lunch was yet another strange example of the chinese mindset. Imagine if you will a banquet hall filled with round tables for nine people. However until ther full nine are seated they will not give you any food. Eight people and no food. So every table scrambles to grab any stray person that walks in just so they can eat lunch before their tour bus leaves. Quite an experience and definitely not one I would want to repeat.
The wall itself was impressive but yet again for Zhen and I it was humid over 30C no breeze and no shade. Climbing that wall in those conditions really sucked and I was soaked by the time we reached the top. It was a good time but I am not very heat tolerant, and even Zhen felt the effects. All in all i would have preferred to skip the multiple irellevant detour stops and concentrate on the museum and the wall but oh well.
Now some random thoughts in no particular order.
From reading all the posts on this forum about trips and ladies and issues and problems etc i have to say that I was truly one of the luckiest guys to make the trip to China. my entire trip has basically continued right from where our last letters to each other left off.
We felt the instant chemistry and attraction for each other, everything between us went exactly as we both had envisioned in our heads except for the not kissing until day 3. Now all things considered that is a minor thing.
I proposed to Zhen on the evening of day 3 but I am utterly sure she would have said yes right after my 3rd degree grilling on day1 which was my birthday. After that lunch and the discssion I am sure she would have said yes.
About the money stuff. I sent her $500 cdn about 4 or 5 days before i left Canada which is about 3000 rmb. She used 2000rmb of it to pay her agency meet fee and the rest to get herself and translator to Beijing wth plentyy left over. Trust was never an issue as far I we were concerned. While she never said she paid the agency fee out of teh money I sent it was fine with me as I was prepared to pay it anyway. From my viewpoint it was something that had to be done that we didnt discuss and so she just took care of it.
About the whole romantic versus using your head thing. Yes I am as romantic as any man can possibly be. Zhen however is even more romantic than am so there was great potential for this to blow up in our face as soon as we met. However, we also dscussed all the important stuff in our letters and webcam before I went over there, so to our minds we already had a solid base to work from.
I am lucky because we both remembered all the important things we discussed in the letters so we didnt have to cover that ground again. Also as for the affection stuff, I constantly touch her on some part of her body virtually every second we are together. we must say I love you or wo ai ni to each other hundreds of times a day. We never tire of saying it and we never tire of the physical contact.
we are either holding hands or I rub her back or leg, stroke her hair, kiss her etc etc. This was our way right from the hug at the airport and still goes on even now. This works very well for us but your mileage probably will vary.If we get seperated in a crowd or where ever it is only a second or two before Zhen stops and looks for me and comes to me or I to her. Its like we live off the physical and emotional contact, and instantly notice when its not there. again this is totally natural to both our personalities so may not work well for others.
I have said to her many times and also to her friends that as far as i am concerned Zhen is the most beautiful woman in the world. her friends often ask if I find other chinese ladies beautiful and of course I say yes they are but I always add that none are as beautiful as my Zhen. I think this reassures Zhen that i am serious about her and not interested in other women.
Once she asked me if I would end up cheating on her ( her first husband did and thats why they divorced) and I guess I had such a look on my face tha it scared her. I asked her what was wrong and she said at that moment she feared me!!. Needless to say I had to convince her again that she should never fear me regardless of what we said or did and that I would never hit her or abuse her or mistreat her or even shout at her. It took a few minutes to get things right again but it was quite the eye opener. again it goes back to being very carefull what emotion runs across your face because Zhen at least picks up on it really fast. In my letters I had told her that I do not drink, smoke, gamble, or do drugs, and would never hit her abuse her or raise my voice to her but i think this episode really made it sink in for her.
So much advice and wisdom I have gleaned from this forum and virtually all of it has stood me in good stead with Zhen right from the beginning. The only subject we have not discussed is politics and the reason we dont talk about politics is because neither one of us cares about the subject. We have discussed money, our future life, where we will live, religion, children etc etc even sex and if we are happy with each other.
For everyone just starting out I would highly recommend reading every thread on every forum on this site, do as Scottish Rob suggests and take notes in a notebook, and really work through everything here to glean the wisdom that is here for you to learn. Virtually every question you could ask has been asked at least once and answered also.
About travel in China. you have not lived untill you travel by taxi in china. It is a totally different experience that most places in the western world.
The utter confusion and disregard for what we consider rules of the road is unbelievable. However i have never seen an accident here in china, not even a fender bender or even a scratch to a car bike or person. The way bikes and pedestrians weave through traffic even at night when they are barely visible is astonishing. To me it seems the horn use is really a subtle language with each horn blast meaning a different thing, its like its a code. The buses are also quite the experience, as they will pack people in regardless of how many seats the have.
Climate: In both Beijing and Handan in early to mid semptember the heat is still a problem if you are unacustomed to it and the taxis rarely turn on the air conditioning, same inside the buildings, so be prepared for high humidity and heat. Bring a wide brimmed comfortable hat, sunglasses and definitely sunscreen. Also it seems there is rarely any wind here so the heat can be stifling.
Food. Be prepared to eat a massive variety of food every day. Much of what I have eaten this past few days I would never have thought i would and most of it I never knew the name of. However by teh same token most of it has been delicious. I told my lady Zhen what i would not eat and she remembered everything and only orders teh rest Be brave and trust your lady as far as teh food goes, she probably will not steer you wrong, I know Zhen hasnt.
Well i am finaly nodding off so I will end here for now.
Regards,
Zhen and Brian
