JUST FOR A LAUGH

[Vince G]

Now that was funny

[Bee964]

HAHAHAHAHAH! I liked the rod the crack spider had! I wonder if he had a crackberry too! Another good video Mike!

Robert, The black bra was good too!

Dave C

[Bee964]

Ten Dollar Dog

 
       
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.


'You talk?' he asks.


'Yep,' the Lab replies.



   After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'


   The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired..'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.


'Ten dollars,' the guy says.


'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit. 
 

[Bee964]

Subject: $7.00 Sex
An   Arizona couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office.
The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'
The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an  elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..'



He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.


The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?'


The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married; so we can't go to her house.

I'm married; and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and
Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.

 
 
 
 
 

[RobertBfrom aust]

Subject: Fw: Father O'Malley


 
An Irish priest...

Father O'Malley... a new convert to the Catholic Faith rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new parish.

 He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a huge pig lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.


Not knowing who else to call, he promptly called the local police station.


The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"


"And the best of the day ter yer good self. This is Father O'Malley at St Francis Xavier Catholic Church. There's a gigantic pig lying dead right in der middle of me front lawn."


Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"


There was dead silence on the line for a moment and then Father O'Malley replied:


"Ah, to be sure, son that is true... BUT we are also obliged to NOTIFY the next of kin..."
 
 

[Bee964]

One hot summer day, a Newfie came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree and headed into the bar for a cold one.
Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the bar and asked, "Who owns the dog tied under that tree outside?"
The Newfie said it was his.
"Your dog seems to be in heat" the officer said.
The Newfie replied, "No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that shade tree."
The policeman said, "No! No! You don't understand. Your dog needs to be bred."
"No way," said the Newfie. "That dog don't need bread. She ain't hungry cause I fed her this mornin'."
The exasperated policeman said, "NO! You don't understand; your dog wants to have sex!"
(You gotta love this)
The Newfie looked at the cop and said, "Well, go ahead. I always wanted a police dog."

[RobertBfrom aust]

This is for Scottish Rob -  MY
FIRST TIME----



It was my first time ever

And I'll never forget

I'd do it again

Without a single regret.

The sky was dark

The moon was high

We were all alone

Just she and I.

Her hair was soft

Her eyes were blue

I knew just what

She wanted to do.

Her skin so soft

Her legs so fine

I ran my fingers

Down her spine.

I didn't know how

But I tried my best

I started by placing

My hands on her breast.

I remember my fear

My fast beating heart

But slowly she spread

Her legs apart.

And when I did it I felt no shame

All at once

The white stuff came.

At last it's finished

It's all over now

My first time ever

At milking a cow...




NOW
ALL U DIRTY MINDS SAY 3 HAIL MARYS..

[Jan]

Wrong Hole w/Scott Baio, Taryn Southern, and DJ Lubel

That is a good song. With great humor.

[Scottish_Rob]

Hahahahahah Thanks Robert hahahaha

[shaun]

If only.

[maxx]

Mike your video wont play

[mustfocus]

It will, it just doesn't allow embedding...when you click on it, it'll go to youtube and you can watch it there.

[RobertBfrom aust]

BEST AUSSIE PICK UP LINE EVER:

   A Aussie walks into a  pub and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.   
He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, 'Is your date running late?'
'No', he replies,'I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it..'
The intrigued woman says, 'a state-of-the-art watch?
''What's so special about it?'
The Aussie explains, 'It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.'
The lady says, 'What's it telling you now?'

Well, it says you're not wearing any panties.'
The woman giggles and replies
'Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!'

The Aussie smiles, taps his watch and says,
' Bloody thing's an hour fast!'
 

[Jan]

http://www.youtube.com/v/HPXDvqA3GVA

Funny TV series part from Japan

[Jimmy]

A sort of funny true story happened to me the other evening.  You kinda had to be there but here goes.
My wife had her sisters over the other evening. And for some reason they started talking to me but in Chinese. And they for some odd reason seem to forget I do not speak Chinese. And the very little I do know is certainly not at their level.
Well what I started doing to my wife a few weeks ago is when she does this I will start pretending to speak Chinese back to her, and do it it in a very funny way like Tim Conway might have done on an old Carol Burnett show.
She always realizes it and will bust out laughing I try and make it very funny.
Well this night when I did it one of the sisters was totally amazed. And after a minute or 2 my wife told me her sister wanted to know where I had learned to speak such good Japanese. She has been living in Japan the past 8 years and told us I was saying random words but my Japanese was perfect.
I have no Idea what I had said. and have actually learned very little Japanese, when I was working for a Japanese company and making trips between the US and Japan for a few years. I learned basic greetings things like that.
Anyway it was pretty funny and like I said you kinda had to be there.