Author Topic: JUST FOR A LAUGH  (Read 281051 times)

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Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #975 on: October 31, 2011, 01:12:16 pm »
This is a story that just appeared in my local newspaper.

Quote
Sex toy saleswoman robbed
Staff
Monday, Oct. 31, 2011 11:59 AM
Last updated 12:03 PM
Comments (4)
 
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A sex toy salesman notified authorities after merchandise was stolen from her residence over the weekend.
According to an incident report, the 25-year-old victim returned to her home on the 1700 block of Davidson Drive Sunday afternoon to discover her front door had been pried open and more than $500 worth of new merchandise was missing.
A platinum bracelet was also reported missing.


I guess this gives new meaning to the phrase, "five finger discounts."  ;)

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #976 on: October 31, 2011, 07:46:06 pm »
Trouble is Shaun , was it a guy , a girl , or an inbetween that stole the products and I guess the fence would be jumping with joy at pricing that lot .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info

Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #977 on: October 31, 2011, 08:30:23 pm »
Robert I didn't even catch that one.  It was the rest of the story that got me.  Then I noticed that they were new toys too.   Is there a market for used sex toy?  :o  I can't imagine anyone wanting to buy a used sex toys.  :-\

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #978 on: October 31, 2011, 11:03:54 pm »
Shaun , maybe it was her own private stock , imagine filling out the list of what was stolen , bet the copper had a smile on his face ha ha .
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info

Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #979 on: November 01, 2011, 04:55:11 am »
I think I would have done a little more than smile.  To keep my professional appearance I would have had to excuse myself to my care once or twice and lamo.

Arnold

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #980 on: November 02, 2011, 01:39:35 pm »
Classic Family .. nowadays !
Come to think of it , coming to work today .. traffic thru the Newhall Pass ( to the San Fernando Valley ) was a Mess . I have never seen this in any Country where I've been to .. Blogs upon Blocks with Traffic Lights "OUT" from WIND ?? >:(  Glad we have the Tech to go anywhere in Space , but can't keep lights on during high Winds .. speachless !

Offline martynivy

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #981 on: November 10, 2011, 08:34:55 am »
Found this on another website,hope you think it funny.

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee and
A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated --  'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found Mr. Right. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said -- 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied -- 'Cause you're ugly'.
a wise man never gives advice

Arnold

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #982 on: November 10, 2011, 11:59:56 am »
Funny it is ! I just hope for your sake it's NOT True !! :-\

Under normal conditions , after drinking .. the Women start looking BETTER ! :P

Offline David S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #983 on: November 12, 2011, 12:24:28 am »
One Monday morning when the teacher walked into her classroom, she noticed someone had written the word 'penis' in teeny tiny letters on the blackboard. No one would fess up and admit who did it. So she rubbed it off and began class. Everyday for the rest of the week, the word 'PENIS' was written on the board. Each day the letters were BIGGER and BOLDER than the previous day. So everyday she vigorously rubbed it off. By Thursday, it was almost the full-length of the entire blackboard. Friday morning she walked in, expecting to see it once again. INSTEAD, she found the words "IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, THE MORE YOU RUB IT, THE BIGGER IT GETS!!"


Offline Rhonald

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #984 on: November 12, 2011, 03:33:47 am »
If you marry a woman from China, being Mandarin, would this then be called an oranged marriage?  ???
Life....It's all about finding the Chicks and Balances

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #985 on: November 16, 2011, 05:52:30 am »

 
 
 
 
 
-------Original Message-------
 
From: 
-----
Subject: Fw: Maori Fire Department

 
RRR

 
 
 Maori Fire Department
 
 
One dark night in the township of Kaitaia, New Zealand, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.  The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.
 
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fireman in charge and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the centre of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
 
But the roaring flames held the fire-fighters off.  Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.  As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire station who could bring out the company's secret files.  But still the fire companies could not get through.
 
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight.  It was the nearby Taneatua Maori rural township volunteer fire company, composed mainly of Maoris over the age of 65.
 
To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.   Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.  Outside, the other firemen watched as the Maori old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.  It was a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
 
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.
 
The local TV station caught the thank you on film and asked their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
 
"Well," said Hohepa, the 70-year-old fire chief, "The first thing we gonna do is fix the brakes on that truck.


 
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info

Offline David S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #986 on: November 25, 2011, 01:08:31 am »
Today at our family Thanksgiving get together my nieces husband told me he saw a t-shirt on a breast cancer survivors t-shirt; "Yes they are fake, my real ones tried to kill me!" 

I about did a spit take.


Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #987 on: November 25, 2011, 07:27:38 am »
Now what did I do with that 3rd turkey?

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #988 on: November 27, 2011, 04:26:12 am »
Vince
Who do i write to in the USA to get your passport problem expedited. ;D ;D ;D

Willy
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Now in my 12th year living here,

Offline Scottish_Robbie

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #989 on: November 30, 2011, 07:16:45 pm »
I love this Ebay shopping. I sold my homing pidgeons 8 times last month ;D ;D
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" Winston Churchill