JUST FOR A LAUGH

[David E]

Recently, I received some messages from different members of this forum. Unfortunately, none of them signed their name. So I was wondering if any of you can tell me who you think they might be, so that I can write back to them and apologise for taking the piss.

1. "If you think I can't have too much PUN, you are wRONg. I CAN. A DAft idea."

2. "I.     Am.     So.    Addicted.     To.     Full.      Stops.     That.     I.    Use.     Them.     Indiscriminately.     But.   I.    hate.    commas."

3. "Your thinking that I missed the apostrophe and the 'e' from the first word of this sentence. But I'm really thinking about going UP to see my English Godfather in China."

4. "Your worried that I missed the apostrophe and the 'e' from the first word of this sentence, but I'm really worried you might not know when I'm being funny or not."

5. "When I write, I am usually succinct, and to the point. But sometimes I talk a lot about dumplings."

6. "When I Write My Word's, Many Of The Noun's Have Capital's, Like Proper Noun's And Apostrophe's, As If They Are Possessive's Not Plural's, Vielleicht Ein Bischen Wie Deutsch."

7. "Man knows that when I say 'Man', I usually mean 'One' or 'You', peut-etre un peu comme en Allemand."

8. "When I talk about religion, I do it with such zeal, religious knowledge and thoroughness, it would be enough to shame some religious people, even though I am an atheist."

Please can anyone help me identify these people?

Philip,

If we had the old reward points system, I would give you at least 5 for this post....brilliant !!!

I am not game to name names....but I think No. 1 must be Rhon in Canada...but that's just a guess  (chuckle )

[Rhonald]

I am not game to name names....but I think No. 1 must be Rhon in Canada...but that's just a guess  (chuckle )

Did you write this after supper Mr ate?

The only one I haven't figured out yet is number 7. 3 & 4 I am not totally sure but think I have a limey idea I have rubbed their shoulders before. The rest I am positive about. 

[David E]

Could 7 be in France....peut etra ??

Could Our Wee Scottish friend have got a mention in 3 ....Och aye ??

As for Mr ate....he Dont believe youre seriousFor a momant !!!!!!!!!

[john1964]

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in heaven. St. Peter said "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out" and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons.

If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all?

What if it doesn't work?

Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?'

Another month passed. St. Peter finally returned looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes" he informed the couple "you can get married in Heaven".

"Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering - what if things don't work out...? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH COME ON!!!" St. Peter shouted: "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here!  Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer!?"

[john1964]

A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years".

The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied.

Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed.

Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Bed Hard!" the man exclaimed.

Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?""I quit!" said the man. "Well, the head monk replied, I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"

[Scottish_Robbie]

could 5 be martin?

[shaun]

OK no one haly wanted to take a stab at it so I will do it.

1. Rhon
2. Maxx
3. Willy
4. Rob
5. Martin
6. Arnold
7. Sly
8. David E

[Rhonald]

OK no one haly wanted to take a stab at it so I will do it.

3. Willy
4. Rob

Recently, I received some messages from different members of this forum. Unfortunately, none of them signed their name. So I was wondering if any of you can tell me who you think they might be, so that I can write back to them and apologise for taking the piss.


3. "Your thinking that I missed the apostrophe and the 'e' from the first word of this sentence. But I'm really thinking about going UP to see my English Godfather in China."

4. "Your worried that I missed the apostrophe and the 'e' from the first word of this sentence, but I'm really worried you might not know when I'm being funny or not."


Please can anyone help me identify these people?

I would switch Willy to #4 and where I first also thought Rob for #3 - I flipped to Philip as Rob is Scottish while Philip would need to travel up to China from Hong Kong. I know that the word "UP" is capitalized so could refer to height - but because of the specific reference to Jargon and the letter "E" I think it is reference to particular English that only a green lemon would understand 

Since Wily has had times written in silliness & sometimes seriousness, I pegged him at number 4. Only 7 has eluded me and I have also though Sly but when I tried to find his writing style that matched the "Man" reference, I was found lacking that Isle of an idea.

[Philip]

Shaun and Michael. 10 Brownie points each (well, 11 for Shaun for getting in first)
Rhon, you think too much! There is nothing cryptic about the 'e' - it, along with the apostrophe, simply expresses the distinction between "YOUR", (as in "YOUR WIFE IS CHINESE") and "YOU'RE", (as in "YOU'RE CANADIAN").
Being a teacher from a family of teachers is a curse sometimes. Like Roger Rabbit, who, after hearing "Da-da-da-da-da" cannot stop himself from responding, "Da da!", when hearing the English language used incorrectly, I have to bite my tongue from correcting it. I only usually mention it to teachers, who should know better, especially if they are teaching students the wrong thing.
I apologise to anyone who may have been offended by my little joke quiz. It was intended just to be a laugh. Also, it is a credit to those people's original style, that their writing can be so instantly identifiable.

[Rhonald]

Shaun and Michael. 10 Brownie points each (well, 11 for Shaun for getting in first)
 Also, it is a credit to those people's original style, that their writing can be so instantly identifiable.

Well, being the designer of the soda quiz, and I did like it, also falls the responsibility when conflicting answers could be considered. First, I would say that eventhough Shaun penned in first, Michael was the one who got them right. Shaun's answer to 3 & 4 was switched with Wiliy at 3, not 4. And I still stand by my statement that you as well could have been number 3 as being English and to travel to Mainland China from Hong Kong you would proceed UP!

The main reason I did not chose Rob for #3 is as you contradict in your last statement "those people's original style, that their writing can be so instantly identifiable." - is that the #3 Clue did not sound at all like Robbie's writing style and my emphasis on it must be a real Englishman's vernacular.

I Think too much - no argument here as I do like quizzes and do suffer from too much analytical thinking which can be a bumer 

[Scottish_Robbie]

I thought i was number 3 as I normally make spelling mistakes

[Philip]

Yes, Rhon, my mistake. I clearly don't think enough. Michael is the champion.
Some of them are about the writing style and some of them are about use of grammar, with clues thrown in.
Number 3, bless him, has to be Rob, who freely admits his spelling and grammatical deficiencies. If it had been me who mistook 'your' for 'you're', I would have been lynched by my entire family for crimes against the English language.

[shaun]

Ah!!   Phillip is sadly mistaken.  He has been led astray by and Canadian who is reported to actually have his wife living with him.  He is so overcome with joy that he doesn't know what he is saying half of the time and we are sure of the other half. 

I can see it is that old Anti-American opinion that has done this yet again.    Oops, Mike is American.

I still maintain that mine is correct. 

[Robertt S]

[Rhonald]

I still maintain that mine is correct. 

"That Mine"... has I Ron in it!

Yes Philip, I will concede that I was wrong - and just as you observed, that where my first instinct was correct in being that Scot'sman, I over Analyzed and fell off the proper answer.

I can see it is that old Anti-American opinion that has done this yet again.    Oops, Mike is American.

What - you just jealous because Mike briefly lived up yonder? Don't worry Shaun as us Canadians still think of you fellows as family. After all, what do you think the "A" in USA means eh?