Author Topic: JUST FOR A LAUGH  (Read 278682 times)

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Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1200 on: September 19, 2012, 10:27:04 am »
May not be so funny to us Brits as yesterday two British police women received a routine call to somebody breaking into a house in daylight. They rush to the scene - blue light flashing. They arrive in the quiet road, As soon as they get out of the car  a man lets off a dozen shots and throws a hand grenade.  Leaving two very dead young police woman in the street. 

He had deliberately called the police to kill who ever was the first to arrive.

I can remember that in west London in 1966 three police officers were shot dead in one incident. 

But this was the first time ever that two policewomen have been shot and murdered together.

Willy


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Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1201 on: September 19, 2012, 11:00:56 am »
My sympathy goes to the officers families, was the terrorist a domestic or import? I imagine we will be seeing a lot more of these types attacks in the future given the state of current world affairs. We have had multiple bomb evacuations of public buildings and universities caused by people claiming to belong to AQ in the past week ourselves, personally I think these domestic terrorists should be captured or killed ( really doesn't matter ) and air dropped into AQ training camps in Yemen packed with explosives. I am still waiting to see what kind of response the W.H. has about the law concerning blasphemy, I pretty sure that will get interesting or simply hushed be up by the O.M.G.

Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1202 on: September 19, 2012, 07:42:39 pm »
Not terrorist at all. Just a lowlife who was being sought for two other murders in past few months.  He walked into a pub and shot one man and when the victims father later publicly called him scum he went to the fathers house shot him dead and threw a hand grenade.

The house the police were called to had no history so it was treated as an normal everyday emergency call.

Don't expect too much from your WH on blasphemy the Christian and Jewish connections to whatever president is in power is tight knit. Plus if the US Gov. wanted to do anything they could have simply ordered you tube to remove the offending video when it was brought to their attention. But they did not.

Willy
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Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1203 on: September 20, 2012, 07:34:10 pm »

Offline Rhonald

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1204 on: September 21, 2012, 10:57:42 am »
Plus if the US Gov. wanted to do anything they could have simply ordered you tube to remove the offending video when it was brought to their attention. But they did not.

Willy

Is this reference to the video that has protesters in the Muslim world and the attack on the US diplomats in Libya? If it is, then I would say that China's policy to block Youtube is because it is always too late to close the gate after the cattle have run away. Because of the west's view on freedom of speech, offensive videos will make it far enough for the media to alert others to hostilities - and has been said before, most protesters never even ever see the offending videos. For them it is just an excuse to exercise their hatered.

And since this is the JUST FOR A LAUGH section: You show the postion the USA always finds itself in. If they did order the removal - people would have screamed censorship. There is no flood gate built that can ever appease everyone and the USA always gets damed if it does and damed if it does not. Its tough being number ONE.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 11:03:53 am by Rhonald »
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Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1205 on: September 21, 2012, 05:04:56 pm »
Plus if the US Gov. wanted to do anything they could have simply ordered you tube to remove the offending video when it was brought to their attention. But they did not.

Willy

Is this reference to the video that has protesters in the Muslim world and the attack on the US diplomats in Libya? If it is, then I would say that China's policy to block Youtube is because it is always too late to close the gate after the cattle have run away. Because of the west's view on freedom of speech, offensive videos will make it far enough for the media to alert others to hostilities - and has been said before, most protesters never even ever see the offending videos. For them it is just an excuse to exercise their hatered.

And since this is the JUST FOR A LAUGH section: You show the postion the USA always finds itself in. If they did order the removal - people would have screamed censorship. There is no flood gate built that can ever appease everyone and the USA always gets damed if it does and damed if it does not. Its tough being number ONE.

We are on everyone's $h!t list apparently! ;) 8)


Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1206 on: September 21, 2012, 05:20:52 pm »

Vince G

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1207 on: September 21, 2012, 08:26:57 pm »
Here's a good laugh ;D

Passing a fake half-billion dollar Federal Reserve note

A man who claimed he had a $500,000,000 Federal Reserve note could face a lengthy prison sentence and deportation after he pleaded guilty Friday in federal court in Fort Lauderdale.

Cleland Ayison, 32, was arrested after he was secretly recorded trying to pass off a fake document he said was a U.S. Treasury bond from the 1930s, said his lawyer Alex Stavrou. Federal prosecutors said there is no such thing as a genuine half-billion dollar Federal Reserve note.

Ayison, who lives in the Tampa Bay area, admitted that he flew to Palm Beach County in September 2010 and tried to hand over the note in a bank vault at an undisclosed location in the county. Ayison did not make any money on the deal, which was intended to boost a company's stock, though he expected to eventually receive about $100,000 worth of stock in the company, which prosecutors declined to identify.

It turned out that Ayison was the subject of an undercover sting because federal agents got a tip he had claimed he had large treasury notes and set up the meeting with individuals who were cooperating with the feds. The maximum punishment for the crime is 25 years in prison and a fine of up to $250,000.

Ayison, who was born in Ghana but has permanent resident status in the U.S., said he earned a degree in theology and philosophy before working in various sales jobs.

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1208 on: October 04, 2012, 09:18:20 pm »
 8)


Offline Scottish_Robbie

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1209 on: October 09, 2012, 08:28:58 am »
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" By now, the entire bar is staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!


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Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1210 on: October 14, 2012, 11:18:25 am »
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in  Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.

    Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.  Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.   It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.  What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water.. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn.  I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it.. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!  Pass this on to all your friends, just in case they're having a bad day!!!



 
« Last Edit: October 14, 2012, 11:20:28 am by JohnB »

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1211 on: October 20, 2012, 09:16:16 am »

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1212 on: October 20, 2012, 09:20:37 am »

Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1213 on: October 20, 2012, 09:38:49 am »
Personally I think the picture above is Rob and he doesn't know how to ride a unicycle.   :o ;D ;D ;D

Offline Scottish_Robbie

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1214 on: October 20, 2012, 01:08:29 pm »
Personally I think the picture above is Rob and he doesn't know how to ride a unicycle.   :o ;D ;D ;D

Tart !!!...lol ;D ;D ;D
"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts" Winston Churchill