As I observed and talked with some of my female friends about their facthers.
I find there are some different interaction modes between father and daugter. But one rule I concludes is “As long as a father love her daughter, then he can be a good husband ”. Am I right?
And I am curious what’s the influence of the interaction mode between father and daughter? Will it influence their daughters’ future life ? I think most of the brothers have more wisdom and can give some real life experience.
Here are some stories .
1. Some of my girl friends like to act like a spoilt child in front of her dad, They like to call “dad” a lot , and their dad response. So they receive a lot of hugs and kisses from their dad since childhood. Even they grow up, They still sit on their father’s leg and kiss each other (It’s not usual in China that you still can be so close with you dad when you grow up) . Their fathers are the sweetest father I have ever know. But they are not close to their mother and her mother play a more strict role than her dad . This is a typical interaction modes. I admire them can be so close to their facther , but I am just not the same .
2. Some fathers play “mother” role, my friend’s dad is kinda “feminize” as she describe. Her father help her to wash clothes, shoes, and he cann’t sleep if she is out and not at home on time . Even she have grown up, her father still always worry about her. She is the one who dare to only wear “underwear” and walk pass by her father. He put a lot of time on her, that makes her feel her father is very bored. But her father is the cutest father I ever know and He is very humous. So my friend always like to talk some stupid things her dad did and some funning words her dad speak with her. I think it is atually a express of how she love and proud of her father, That makes me admire also.
3. I am not that close to my father as my above friends , We donn’t talk and call each other often, we never have body contact like hug and kiss which DOSN'T mean we donn’t love each other.
And I find out not every daughter is close to their father also . That makes me feel better.
Some friends like me, They also have an “invisible” distance between their father. So I find there is a common, Some of our fathers are a little “masculist” character and donn’t know how to be express their feeling.
I find I never ask my dad for anything (Toy, cloth, present etc) forwardly. So I do admire of my friend which can act like a spoiled girl, but that’s what I never can learn. When there is something sad or bad happen to me , I always choose to told and share with my mom, Because I can get comfort from her. I wonn’ told any bad or sad news to my father and he is the same. My mother ever told me my father complain about why I donn’t call him often, why I like to call and talk with my mother, So my mother request me to call him sometimes. But I just donn’t know what can I say with my father, so normally the call only can last for 10 mintues(Actually this is longer than before. The farther I am away, the longer the call can be). And my friend also have the same situation, They cann’t make a call last for more than 10 mintues when talked with their fathers, Even at home they seldom talked with eath other about their life and feel.
But now I find if we take the initiative to talk and care with each other, the situation changes better. when I ask him for some help and buy a little present to him and even a greeting message in some special festival, He is very happy. And when he talked with me more about his life and feeling, I find the call can last longer.
My friend told me when his father send a happy birthday message to her, She is very happy to told me about this, She thought he is too busy to remember her birthday. And I teach her to communicate and care more about her father, like her half blood brother did, Situation will change also.
My friend met and have dinner with my father one day, And she told me one thing that I never know that my father told with her “I am lucky to have two clever kids” ,My friend told me my father sounds very satisfied.
4. Until one day I was drink with my another friend in a bar, She cann’t help to cry when talked about her father and mother, She is the saddest one that she have a mom and dad who donn’t love her and her sisters. They only like boys. So they leave home and get married very early. Unit she met her husband, and her husband said to her then ” it is ok, I will be your mom and dad to love you ” . That sentence touched me also. She said she admire us having loving parents. Having “loving parents” that’s a big fortune which you cann’t buy no matter how wealth you are, And it is always a regret you cann’t make complete.
Fortunately, She has a loving husband which we admire. Life is fair.
What do you think these four different kinds interaction mode between father and daughter ? And how life will treat these different girls in the future ? For example which kind of man they will prefer to be together in the future or which kind of man is good for them? I think if you miss one thing in your life, you will hope to find it back from some person.
Eg, My friend find a perfect match husband who can show loving care for her like parents did. And I think I prefer a more close relationship which we can communicate mentally and more body contact like hugs and kisses which can make me feel I was being loved and which I miss those from my parents, So it is hard to find among Chinese men that most of them donn’t show too much love sign and body contact with their lover. What is brothers opinion about which kind of men suit for other two kinds of girls ? What is other interaction modes do you know between fathers and daughters?
