General Discussion and Useful Links > Ask An Experienced Member
My search
Arnold:
Welcome Jim! You definitely come to the right place for most if not all info your looking for or need. I even let you borrow my Arrow to catch a Lady's heart. Good Luck!
JustJim:
Slow boat to China....! I did not see that coming. Very funny, Willy. :-)
Thanks for all of the welcomes.
My interest in Tall ships is both artistic and romantic. I have never sailed on one. It is on my bucket list though.
I guess just like this is on my bucket list. I don’t think I need to preach to the choir as to why I am here. I just one day decided it was time for me to pursue my dream. The kids are out of the house and I have no reason not to pursue this.
Well, an easy decision to make, but the more I read the more overwhelmed I become. I didn’t know this would be so challenging, so expensive, and require so much paperwork and coordination and crossing of t’s and dotting of I’s.
But I am here, and I am determined. It’s just that I need help.
I am going to read as much here as I can. If there are any threads you all think I should follow I am open to suggestions.
Perhaps I should start by telling you what I have learned so far.
First – China Love site is both a scam and for real. I get that. I have internet dated here in the US and I don’t think things are a whole lot different. Women AND men post pictures that are 20 years old, they paint rose colored glasses pictures of themselves, they all want the dream, and some of them are 30 something scammers who have just recently moved to Ghana because their father died and they need money to come back to the States so that they can marry you. :-) I have read and heard a lot of stories and I’m okay with having to wade through the muck to find someone good.
Also I have learned first hand that if the woman cannot contact me outside of China Love then I am going to spend a small fortune just trying to stay in contact with her.
Two – when I do find someone I want to pursue a relationship with I am going to have to visit them in China, I am going to have to document EVERYTHING, I am going to have to hire an immigration lawyer, I am going to have to get her here on a K1 visa and then – at LEAST a year after first meeting her, I will have the chance to finally figure out if she is someone I want to marry.
Three – some of the admiration letters are from scammers – and it is up to me to figure out which ones are sincere and which ones are not.
Anyways, it is all very daunting, but I’m up for it. But really... a lot of help please.
Like I said before I have been lurking and I have been active on the China Love site. Most of the admirer letters I have gotten have not impressed me at all because they sound too “pie in the sky.” The only two that I have responded to have been very informal, very “this is me, I hope you like me, I hope I hear from you.”
Very real… ( yeah, but even that could be a scam....some translator figured out that the “real” approach works better...) I’m not being a sceptic – just a realist.
Anyways, I have a very narrow window of what my interests are as far as the women I respond to. I guess you can say that I know what I need...
Right now I am corresponding with two women. Both approached me with admirer letters. In my profile I am VERY specific that I am looking for someone to move to the US to be with me. I want to visit China but I can’t live there. My work, my kids, my life is here. I am very upfront that I am asking whoever is interested in me to make a very big change in THEIR life. I guess because of that I have been very hesitant to approach any woman because of what their profile might say. Maybe if they said straight out that they were looking to move to the US…Besides I have been inundated with admirer letters. It is enough just to weed through them.
The weeding through process has been interesting. For me I like the natural, athletic, ponytail look, so all these photos with dolled up women in short dresses and outlandish costumes have not impressed me at all. More about that when I talk about the women I am corresponding with.
It has all been very interesting, and I have already spent more money than I thought I would have to. Oh well, I am working on that. I signed up with QQ and I am learning how to chat and to cam on that.
I could go on but this is already too long. Good night everyone and I will be back tomorrow. Thanks for reading...
shaun:
Jim just because they contacted you first does not mean it isn't a scam. My thoughts are that it is even more likely a scam. You need to be careful and pay attention to everything that is said.
One think I know for sure is that the agencies don't always keep their stories and comments straight. If you find yourself saying, "but I thought you said...." Then you need to perk up and pay attention even more. It isn't a 100% certainty that it is a scam but I imaging it would be like 99.999999% a scam. Just be careful.
There are other sites to look at. One of the member here has a site that is carefully watched. It is called www.xingfulove.com. There are others like blossoms.com which take a little navigation to understand. There is China Love Links and many many others.
Good hunting.
Willy The Londoner:
Shaun is right., Be wary of any approaches via admirers letters. Be also aware that the vast majority of women never ever see your profile. Many have never even be the agency they are signed with and are never given access to the Chnlove system.
They do everything by telephone, they do not write to your directly. You write to them, the lady receives a phone call and is given a 'precis' of what you said. If they can think of an answer there and then they give it but usually what you receive back is the translators reply. Anything the agency does not want the lady to know is omitted from what is told to the lady.
The translators build up a relationship with both you and the lady in an effort to keep the EMF revenue coming in and to collect their commission when a lady is introduced to you in person. Yes every meeting the lady has with a potential suitor has to be paid for right up to them trying for the weighty success fee.
Willy
maxx:
Jim I would like to tell you.That Willy and Shaun are to paranoid for their own good.But that would be miss leading.It works exactly like Willy outlined in his post.I have to disagree with Some things Shaun posted.Many a member here has married the lady from the Admiration letters.Willy and Shaun Did not marry ladies from Chinlove.Willy walked up to his lady and just confused her and before she figured out what was going on.She was married to a Limey.And thought it was better then being married to a Chinese guy.So she stuck around. ;D.Shaun married a woman from a different site.Where there is no translater interference.
I like Mike's thoughts on the matter.It is straight forward and to the point.Write the lady,Skype,Or qq the lady.Get the initial trip over.And see if this is right for you.Have you read the rules? If not they are posted here.And it is well advised that you read them.Know them.And live by them.Until you and the lady are comfortable together.And can laugh at each others cultural differences.While still respecting them.
Learn what face is.Learn what it means to the lady and her family.I could write a very long and detailed explanation of what face is.And my explanation could be totally wrong.As it pertains to the lady.China is a huge country and every province doe's things just a little different.And for every province.Every girl in those provinces thinks a little different.So face can be a difficult thing to understand.
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