All About China > Understanding Chinese Women

I need help!!!!

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IrishGuy65:
My two weeks in china is up.  Yesterday Hongping and I went to Hong Kong for the day. We had a great time. I asked her to marry me and she said yes. She wore my ring maybe 4 hours. Then she found out her brother got caught up in the amway scam. His wife says she is going to divorce him. He asked to borrow money. This has happened several times in the past. We had a VERY minor tiff. She wouldn't talk to me on the drive home. When we got home, she took off the ring and put it with my stuff. She said she took it off to take a shower. She didn't pick it back up nor did she ask for it back. She was very upset. I tried to talk to her about things, which, in the past (we've never had an actual fight), has been easy. We always communicate well with each other about things.  So I say goodnight. In the morning she wants to drive me to the airport. There is no talking only crying. She says she loves me but she thinks there will be too many problems. We have discussed this many times. She knew there would be some difficulties, but we always said we would talk to each other about everything. We had already started filling out the I-129 form for Pete's sake and talked to her daughter about coming with us to the USA, which she wanted to do.

Now, during our qq and FaceTime before, she has gotten scared before when something bad happened... Like herbrother had problems, her father got hit by a motorbike, and some other things. We would talk it out and be fine. This time she just dropped me of at the airport. She didnt talk to me, she mostly cried and almost got us killed a half dozen times.  That is it.  I texted her and asked where we stand. She says she loves me but there will be too many problems.

I don't know what to do or not do. And I'm leaving and have no chance to work it out. Tomorrow she goes to work as she has lectures in another province for three days, then she will go visit her parents for a week since her dad recently fell down the stairs and her mom's health is poor. In the past, I could tell she was worried about her family. I think it is different this time.

Any and all advice would be appreciated. I am in love with Lisa and I know she loves me. But this situation feels different than her previous fears. I truly feel I have lost her. I shouldn't feel so shitty after having two of the best weeks of my life with her here in china.

maxx:
As I see it you have two options.Option one drop her like its hot.The other option.And in your case probably the best option.Is to have Gerry perform a intervention.Or better yet Have Gerry's wife perform a intervention.Have Gerry's wife talk to your girl.Your girl has just got cold feet.Gerry's wife can talk your girl off the cliff.All hope is not lost.

Reality has hit your woman.Like a slap in the face.Before it was all just fun and games.Now that reality has set in.It has become serious.And she is thinking about all that she will have to give up to be with you.

maxx:
I forgot to ask.What is the amway scam?And her brother wants to borrow money from who?

Willy The Londoner:
Before any others pile in with various 'advices' this lady is known by at least three members on here personally. 

I would hope that between us we could find some way of resolving any situation that has arisen.

Patrick it is going to be a long lonely journey back home for you and I am sorry to hear that.   I know that those who know Lisa will try our best to help you get this sorted.

I will PM you.

Willy


fivetrout:
I am aware I'm speaking with very little knowledge in this arena with Chinese women, but I do have vast knowledge of the fantasy that surrounds online dating. There is no reality until much time is spent cultivating relationships one on one. This applies in all relationships. If you are meant to be together you will be. It likely will take a lot of thinking by both of you before this is settled. She will have to asset her time with you and separate the fantasy from the truths. With that said...give her time. her mind and emotions will replay everything between the two of you over and over as you will also do. And if the chemistry is there 100% for both...you will be together, if there is any doubt from either, well...it's back to square one. Remember, you have invested much of yourself here...and so she must do the same or... she's not your one. This is universal.

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