4 cats but no girl - what´s a guy to do

[flopitdown]

Hi everyone. I came across your website in google and thought I´d stop by and get some advice and opinions from you guys.
The story will be long, but I figured I´ll start from the beginning and end it where I am today. 
I live in Austria and I got married somewhat young in 1992 and we moved to a big city - Vienna, and divorced at 32 in 2002. After my divorce I knew I wanted to move to a small town, but I also wanted to go self-employed and enjoy my once-again-freedom and do what I wanted and get what I wanted before I moved.
We got mutally divorced, no arguments, because we both wanted different things ie I wanted a family, she was only concerned about a career. Oddly enough, though, during our whole marriage she was in college and we lived off of my salary (I´m just a normal worker, no profession). So when we got divorced I left her all of our stuff and took my 3k to my new apartment and I went self-employed, got me 4 cats (I grew up with animals – my ex-wife didn´t like them in the home) and other unimportant yet fun things. I knew I would move to a smaller town in the future and wanted to try being self-employed first.
I stayed self-employed from 2002-2010 but eventually stopped as I could only make a living, but not save any extra money. I didn´t have time for vacations and it was fun while I did it but it was time again for me to get a regular job as I did what I wanted to do and I was finished with that chapter.
From 2004-2010 I dated two girls from Austria, one from Czech Republic, one from Ukraine and one from Germany. I met these girls in Austria within a group of friends or in cafes, not online. But my longest relationship with any of them was 1 year, and that girl actually proposed to me (I always thought the guy should propose so this was very odd for me to handle – especially saying no – I felt like an idiot). What I came to realize was all of the girls I was meeting in the big city were living in the big city for a reason; either they moved to get away from a small town, or they liked and wanted to stay forever in the city. It was extremely difficult to find someone who wanted to live in a smaller town. So this is when I decided to try online dating, I figured it was a broader audience, therefore raising the possibility of meeting people who liked and wanted different things than city girls here.
So far my story may sound like a sad one, but it is not. During my marriage I was happy because we did both love each other. We just wanted different things. After my marriage it was like after high school again, doing what I wanted, having a ball, I have no regrets. I was always and still am and will always be a very optimistic person who is in a good mood 99% of the time. No matter what happens.
In 3+ years I talked to quite a few girls, from Ukraine, Kasachstan, Russia, Poland, China, Thailand, Phillipines, Austria, Germany, Moldova, Belarus, India, USA, among other countries. I am not looking for one particular nationality, just looking for someone who matches with me. Out of these girls, I just didn´t match with any either because they didn´t like cats, they didn´t want to live in a small city, or we were too different in things we wanted.
During the last 3+ years I´ve also dated a few times, I don´t only depend on online. But as my current job, which I´ve had since 2010, is an online job, I am online quite often.
The last thing to explain is I am probably looking for a girl who is too young for me. Some people say only perverts do this  lol   My ex-wife was my nationality and was my age. To me, because of the experiences I have had and people all around me, regardless of the age or nationalities, it will either work or not work. Of course I realize the % might be lower due to an age difference, but so far I am 0% after marrying a girl at the same age, so let´s be honest, it can´t drop to -1%  lol  so age is irrelevant to me now. I also want a family, and I do not want to be forced to decide within 1-2 years if I want a child with a girl. I think girls at 19 or 40 can be attractive, but unfortunately there is a lot of pressure to maybe not do the right thing considering children if the girl is 35+….I am 44.
Anyhow, my problem I have come across with online girls, other than girls not liking my cats, and girls not wanting to live in a small town, is this; it seems like 50% at least are not really serious in their search, and at least 50% are only concerned with what job I have and if I own or rent.
I was kind of hoping that maybe someone here who lives in China and who has been in this forum for a while (I read some posts and think the owner of the forum lives in China?) can recommend a dating agency in China that is not expensive and that is reputable. Or maybe have other suggestions or could help me in some other way like with newspaper ads there or something…
I also need to point out that, as stated above, I am not near being desperate. Like the girls, I also have certain things I look for in a girl in regards to personality as well as appearance, and I am probably pretty strict in this for good reasons. I won´t just marry the first girl who likes me if something does not fit.
Thanks for reading all of my blabber and hopefully I get some positive responses….       

[flopitdown]

I also should add that I am not interested in a bride mail order stuff. Before I meet the girl I´d want to talk on skype or qq with cam and speakers and get to know each other   

[fivetrout]

The cats issue seem to be a big problem. Perhaps you can find someone in a "cat" chatroom? Although! A Chinese girl might like having a food source nearby?

[flopitdown]

haha   I think the cats actually are a benefit for me when it comes to girls, but not a benefit to them if they don´t like pets.
I don´t know if it is just me but girls who I have known (not only dates but also friends or co-workers) who have a cat always seem like they are more affectionate/gentle and caring people. That´s not to say that a girl who doesn´t like or have cats can´t be caring and affectionate, but  it´s something I´ve noticed.
I also talked to a few chinese girls on qq who have cats, I suppose there are a few who see them as pets.....
I also asked a chinese girl in vienna in 2006 about eating cats and she may have lied as we did not really know each other, but she said it depends on where in China, that some places the people do not eat them. No idea if that is true or not, she could have told me the chinese moon is pink and i would have said okay.
I wouldn´t go to a cat forum because this would be boring talking about cats with a bunch of people. I don´t want to know what Sallys cat eats on its borthdays  lol    I also wouldn´t go there looking to meet a girl as that´s not what a cat forum is for, that would just be creepy   

[David E]

When we first began to communicate, my wife told me she hates cats..........I have a cat, Mr Walter who has been with me for all of the 12 years that I renmained single after my divorce. To me, he was a far more reliable companion than any of the Women I met both in-person and on-line.

However, I did not ..and still dont consider that the love of pets or hatred of pets is a real show stopper, that is unless you give more attention to your pets than your wife. !!!!!!

After 3 years of marriage to a wonderful Chinese lady, and despite some rocky patches, Ming, Myself and Walter are all good friends...she has well bonded with the cat, and vice-versa.

But, but, but...in her eyes he is a pet cat...no more, no less..she still rightfully expects that the cat is No. 2 in my eyes...she must always be No.1...and rightly so 

So...if your cats are your priority, I think you will have a potential conflict with any future wife...no matter which Country she is from...and Chinese wives DONT share their affections with anybody else than their husbands.......be warned   

[JohnB]

"flopitdown" ....can recommend a dating agency in China that is not expensive and that is reputable.

is "flopitdown" the name you want to be addressed as?

the guys here are opinionated as to what is the best venue to meet the China woman.
ChnLove has the population. there is no denying that. I suppose one can say that ChnLove
is the motherload of all available China lady lovelies.
Chnlove is also an exercise of monies extraction. yours.

that said, there is another way you can go about your business. many of the ladies on ChnLove
also post their profiles on China Love Links  http://www.chineselovelinks.com/
it is a 'free' website. if of interest you can 'upgrade' your status with a paid membership. that
allows you direct communication with the ladies.

in my opinion, China Love Links would be the way I would go about my search.

[Willy The Londoner]

The cats issue seem to be a big problem. Perhaps you can find someone in a "cat" chatroom? Although! A Chinese girl might like having a food source nearby?

Cat not so popular - but a few roam around our complex. But dog! Well that is really going to make them salvinate!!! Especially in winter where dog meat is considered to create great warmth inside. This is going to happen in the really rural areas where any animal kept is regarded as food and not a pet.

Joking apart I would suggest that you consider coming to China at least for a couple of weeks. You say that you work on line and we have good internet here. That may be OK for you but could be Catastrophic for the moggies. You would need to find someone to take them on whilst you are away. 

The other problem you have is that you currently live in Austria. Now not too many Chinese women want to go to live in a non English speaking country.  You may handle English well but outside the house she will always need you at hand until such time as she learned German.  My Chinese language teacher has a French husband, she has not learned French as they both speak perfect English but they have no intentions of moving to live in France.

I am not saying that it cannot be done as others have married and taken their wife back to non English speaking places but it will be a little harder to find that perfect women. Hence the reason I suggest that you get over here and find one face to face. 

I have friends here in Zhongshan that French, Irish, Dutch and Canadian and all are around your age. Their wifes are all aged between 26 and 33 years of age. They all met their ladies whilst here in China - not one met via an agency.

I think that of the current members that use this forum I am the only one that has made China their home for several years. I now have residence permit and do not need a visa.  I am not an expert on all things Chinese but have managed to survive and I am going through my fifth winter here now.

I came for 6 weeks in 2009 and have never considered living anywhere else.   But as the oldest in age on this forum that may have more to do with diminishing senility! Well that is what my sisters in the UK think!

Willy

[Pineau]

Never heard of Chinese eating cat. Maybe it happens, but I don't know anyone who did.
 
But Dogs are another story. I remember my favorite noodle shop where I ate every morning before going to work....Until the dogs came out.  I went down to breakfast and there was Old Yeller hanging on a hook in the window.  The dogs come out in October when is begins to get cold weather.

Jing's sister had dog. His name was dinner. He was cute but that did not save him.

[Martin]

I ate dog once. In Hunan Province. Everyone asks me what it taste like, but the hot spices were all I could remember.

[maxx]

Dog isn't bad. It isn't great either. Gerry they arrested a guy driving into Wuhan the other day. That had close to 2,000 cats, Stuffed in crates. The article went onto say that this wasn't the first time. They had caught someone trying to sell cats as a meat source.

 Flopitdown If I had to do this again, I would do like Willy suggested. This life this journey, isn't for everyone. So go to China get over the Asian fever. See if this is really for you.

If it was me I would fly into Hong Kong. Take the ferry to the mainland either Zhuhai, Or Zhongshan. Hook up with Willy. Then work through it from there. Or Pm Robert S. get signed up with his dating site. Robert runs a good dating site. He checks out the girls and makes sure that there isn't any  game player.

[flopitdown]

 Thanks for all of the responses.

@David E: you are right, I agree. Right now my cats are obviously my number 1 priority as I am single and I take care of them. But I can understand any girl who thinks they are more important than a pet. If my wife or girlfriend was jealous that I take care of them or care about the cat/s, or if I pet them when they are in the room, then we would have a problem.  But if it is about attention, I don´t think we would have a problem as I think I am pretty nice and show a lot of attention to my partners.

@JohnB: You can address mea s John, that´s my actual name 
I actually joined CLL on January 4th with a membership.  About 24 girls gave me their QQ or skype. The results were:
-   One ignored me after we talked one time on cam and speakers
-   Five don´t like cats
-   Four went offline while we were talking and has never come online again
-   One wants to stay in china
-   One got a new job and is moving to thailand soon
-   Three only looking for friends
-   One only talked about how she was sick over and over
-   One seemed tob e completely insane
-   7 of them have not been online sicne adding me the past 14 days

Do you know anything about chinalovematch? I thought about trying there next month…..

@Willy: I would like to visit China one day, obviously it mames sense that one can meet more girls of a nationality if they visit the country.

@Pineau: ah it may have been dogs we talked about, sorry. I got thrown off when the other guy said cats  lol

@martin: I probably could not eat dog or cat, just because. But I eat cow, pig, etc and I am sure some people have a pet cow, pig, etc, so the way I see it in most cases, cultures are different, if they eat roaches in one country, dogs in another country, pigs in another country that´s just the way it is.

[flopitdown]

@maxx: thanks. which site is Roberts please?

[maxx]

John try this  www.xingfulove.com

[flopitdown]

thanks maxx

[RobertBfrom aust]

John, welcome to this forum as you already have seen , whatever questions you pose , there will be many and varied answers .

On my QQ heading I wrote that I only spoke English and had a lot of contact with several ladies of around the 35 mark who were English teachers , my own better half also found me on QQ , not telling me for several weeks that she was already in Melbourne , ha ha as her address on QQ was Shenyang , China .

She could not speak more than about 4 words of English , but I was helping her learn , her problem is that after 4 years her English is not as good as it should be mainly because all of her employees use Chinese as their normal talking and so does she when directing them .

One thing to think about is you will be blown away by the sheer numbers in any of the top 100 cities in China and all of the ladies / girls that I have met here in Melbourne like to be surrounded by busy areas for entertainment / shopping etc , close to transport and where we live in the suburbs as we have a lot of trees and parks around the girls think we live out in the sticks , only 30 km from the city centre , regards Sujuan and Robert .