Like Gerry says, you need to get over to China as soon as possible to meet up face to face.
There is no way you should consider marrying before you do that. Hopefully it will all go well. Over the years I have known several men who have spent several months 'talking' on QQ etc, arrive here in China on the first visit and get married within two or three days and soon find they have made a mistake.
She is 45 and you are drawing a pension which means that there are 20 plus years difference. I know that can make a difference as there is 20 years between my wife and myself. I have been receiving a pension for 8 years and I know that 'my sell by date' in the bedroom is approaching, probably faster than I would like,
![Cry :'(](http://www.chnromance.com/Smileys/default/cry.gif)
but my wife understands and accepts this. That side of our relationship does not play a big part so much nowadays but I still think we have a fairly strong relationship.
As you may have gathered I have lived in China since early part of 2009. That being so I was able to meet, date and eventually marry my wife and have been happy ever since. In that time I have had a few medical issues that have been dealt with in local medical centres but I know that if something more serious occurs I am just a short journey from Hong Kong with English speaking and the better trained doctors are.
My pensions provide us with a good middle class life here. As a pensioner you should consider this.
My wife has children from her previous marriage all are over 21 now and it is only the eldest who lives with us when she has a day or two off work.
These three are not reliant on us, which would appear to be the same with her son. The only thing that I found is that a previous son can be a bit of a thorn in the side on occasions as others have experienced on here.
The other thing you need to consider is whether her parents have become reliant on her! They are obviously retired and if she is an only child it is'her duty' to look after them in their old age. sometimes that will mean financially as well because a government pension is very small here. Taking her away from China may cause problems within the family.
With my wife that is not a problem as she has three elder sisters and her father, who is a widower, spends three months a year at each of his daughters homes, including ours. He is 90 now and is probably fitter than me and is not problem. But the parents are to be considered in any relationship. Daughters and sons living with their mothers can be a problem.
If you have any concerns about the aging process that you feel that you do not want to put out publicly then send me a private message.
Willy