A Southerners continuing journey in China

[JimB]

Thanks Arnold, Shaun, Vince.  I finally got things straightened out "mostly". LOL.  Spent the week end with my family in Savannah.  I talk with my wife twice a day on QQ.  You know it seems I miss her more now than before.  I got used to waking up beside her.  Holding her and just being together.  I love my own bed.  I never quite got used to the hard rock we slept on there. I love being able to just get in the car and go where I want to without having to make sure I can talk to someone or have her on the phone to tell the driver where i need to go.  I feel independent again.
 That was probably my biggest problem there.  I did not feel independent and I needed my wife to handle any problems that arose.  It made me feel impotent to handle things. As some of you might know this feeling, I think that is what made me want to come home even more.  Like when the water ran out, we had to use this credit card type to turn the water back on.  Now we had about 4 of these things and I did not know which was which so I had to wait for her to be able to get water.  Things like that. At least the problems here I can handle and get them straightened out without anyone else.
I need a couple days more of rest and then can start planning my return and look forward again, not backward.

[Rhonald]

I needed my wife to handle any problems that arose.  It made me feel impotent to handle things.

A problem Arose?.....You took the blue pill....right? :icon_cheesygrin: So what was the problem?

Thanks for sharing you story with us. The UPs and the Downs :icon_cheesygrin:

[Vince G]

Jim, I'm very independent also so with those things I think I might feel the same way. So I understand where your coming from.

[Arnold]

Jim , that is exactly the point of WHY you wanted to come Home ( your Home ) . This is a lesson you have learned now ... how She will feel when She arrives in America to be with you . She will be lost and very much dependent on you , for most everything . The good part is ... your Retired and have the time to be with Her through this . Both of you are lucky because of this and avoid many heartaches and yes headaches .

[maxx]

Jimb good job really a good read.What a trip.With all the ups and downs.But you survived.And have a much better Idea how this is going to work.I wish you both the best.

Maxx

[David S]

Hello everyone.  I am new here and this is my very first post.  I will post an introduction in the general board or if I find a topic that is more suited for new members postings of introductions I will go there to do it. (or if there isn't maybe put one up.)

I just finished reading this thread last night.  I must say it was a very entertaining, and educational read.  I'd like to say Congratulations to Jim and his wife on their new marriage.  I wish you both a long and happy life together.  I did have three things I wanted to comment on as I read through the postings.

First I am impressed at the sense of Brotherhood here.  It is very obvious that everyone here truly is interested in seeing the others find success, I find that very encouraging.  The advice you all (or is it y'all?) gave Jim in his journey and dealings with the bumps he encountered was very solid and well grounded.  

I had to laugh at Jim's story about trying to have Gina understand the meaning of y'all and how even to people who speak native English it can be a challenge some times to understand each other. I thought of the scene in the movie "My Cousin Vinnie" where Vinne the lawyer from New York, with a very thick Brooklyn accent was questioning a witness in a trial in an Alabama court room.  Vinnie was asking about the two young people who the witness saw leaving an establishment:

Vinnie: "So when you saw the two yoots..."

Judge: (Interrupting) "Two What?!"

Vinnie: "Two yoots!"

Judge: "What is a 'YOOT'"?


The last thing is about children and politics.  I was thinking the other week, before I found this posting that China has a very ancient and rich culture, one that has outlasted many different political systems and leadership styles.  I think that is what draws up so these ladies, the fact that they come from a society that has very deep roots and they are not easily swayed from their heritage.

In many things I've read on these and other boards I haven't seen anyone address China's "Single child Policy." I've heard it discussed on conservative radio talk shows, but no real discussion about it.  I am wondering if maybe that is part of why some of these Chinese ladies want to find a Western man.  I sense many of them feel that being divorced that the Chinese men view them as "damaged goods" while Western men are much more accepting of their status.  So they can find a man who is openly romantic, often willing to have more children (I know not all are), and open minded to the point where they don't judge the ladies for their previously failed marriage.

I look forward to getting to know the members of this board as time goes forward.  Now I think I'll go find where I can write that introduction.

David

[Scottish_Rob]

David S, welcome to this brotherhood...

I want to say that this was a very good p[ost, well done mate.  

Looking forward to reading your introduction..:icon_biggrin:

[David E]

In many things I've read on these and other boards I haven't seen anyone address China's "Single child Policy." I've heard it discussed on conservative radio talk shows, but no real discussion about it.  I am wondering if maybe that is part of why some of these Chinese ladies want to find a Western man.  I sense many of them feel that being divorced that the Chinese men view them as "damaged goods" while Western men are much more accepting of their status.  So they can find a man who is openly romantic, often willing to have more children (I know not all are), and open minded to the point where they don't judge the ladies for their previously failed marriage.

David

Hi David...welcome aboard !!!  Although there is getting to be a whole bunch of Davids here..could get confusing :icon_cheesygrin:

The one child policy may well be the catalyst for the large number of Chinese Women looking to find a Western Husband.

In their "male-centric" culture, having a daughter is almost a waste of time...sons are required by Father and Family. So  Woman who has a daughter is a likely candidate for a divorce...sad but true.

As this Woman can have no more chilkdren, she is unlikely ever to have a chance at another marriage...that is why so many Women on CHNLove are in the 30 to 45 age group, with one child, usually a girl.

In many instances we find that if the Woman had a son, and then divorced, it is likely that the Son lives with his Father.

So it is not difficult to see that a Western Man offers a viable alternative to them...we are not so focussed on male children, we dont regard a divorcee as "damaged goods"...and we are all handsome,rich and prosperous like Brad Pitt (hahaha)

Good luck and good hunting

DavidE

[Vince G]

SO David....  What do you mean I'm funny? what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Funny how? What's funny about it? He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?

You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little ****ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown,
I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

You said I'm funny. How the **** am I funny, what the **** is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!I think I had him??  Was he shaking?  That's from Goodfellars :icon_biggrin:

Welcome to the forum.

[Neil]

word for word Vinny!

[David S]

 That's from Goodfellars :icon_biggrin:

I recognized the quite right off.  That's an awesome movie.  I do enjoy the gangster movies.  Goodfellas and Casino are two of my favorites.

[Scottish_Rob]

Vince I think David thinks your funny:huh::icon_biggrin::icon_biggrin:

[David S]

Vince I think David thinks your funny:huh::icon_biggrin::icon_biggrin:

Rob and Vince, a lot of people tell me I'm funny.  I usually tell them that they should not just judge me on my looks. :icon_cheesygrin:

[Scottish_Rob]

ROFLMAO....

But Vince is FUNNY....You have to admit this....lol:icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

[Arnold]

My Cousin Vinny , you bet he is funny . A darn good Lawyer too . To bad he does not do Immagration Law .:-/