Author Topic: JUST FOR A LAUGH  (Read 278727 times)

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Offline Willy The Londoner

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1290 on: August 29, 2013, 10:17:21 pm »
I just wish that they would write better. It is so difficult at my advanced age to read those entries without paragraphs. ;D
 I like to be able to pause to laugh a little. ;D
Willy
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Now in my 12th year living here,

Offline shaun

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1291 on: August 30, 2013, 04:16:10 am »
Noticing how the writing styles are almost exactly the same I think maybe he is writing both sides or better yet arguing with himself.

Offline Philip

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1292 on: August 30, 2013, 07:33:12 am »
Shaun, you may be right. A frightening thought. Either he has run out of people to rant with, so he rants with a made-up alter ego, or he has lost the plot entirely and developed split personalities. Either way, it's not fair to mock the afflicted.

Offline kenny

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1293 on: August 30, 2013, 09:23:42 am »
"naive semi subverviant traditional chinese lady"

He aint met my wife!

Offline David E

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1294 on: August 30, 2013, 04:01:43 pm »
"naive semi subverviant traditional chinese lady"

He aint met my wife!

You got that right Kenny........!!!!!!   ;D ;D ;D ........Mine too !!!

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1295 on: August 30, 2013, 07:07:23 pm »
.. he's always using heavy words all the time, to cover up the lack of personality. I wonder if he even knows what they mean or are spelled?

I would want no less of a strong character as myself in any woman. Funny, how the western women like to turn "Us" into Subservient traditional western men. That can only give us "Kudo's" from our Lady's! 8)

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1296 on: September 01, 2013, 04:23:02 pm »
Lazy Husband  >:( !

At the Dinner table one night..

Wife: Dear, I noticed that there is a leak under the Kitchen sink!

Husband: Well, go and get a Plumber tomorrow and get it fixed!

Next day at Dinner...

Wife: Honey, you know the light in the Hallway is not working anymore?

Husband: Don't bother me with this stuff, go and call a Electrician!

After a couple day's, again at Dinner time...

Husband asks Wife: Did you get those things taken care of by the way?

Wife: Yes Dear, I did!

Husband: How much did it cost?

Wife: Nothing! I ask Bob our Neighbor and he fixed it all. All he ask for, was.. some "Fresh" baked Cookies or "Sex"! Well you know what terrible Baker I am, so.... :P

Offline john1964

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1297 on: September 13, 2013, 05:23:49 am »
Tom, Dick and Harry were three explorers that were captured by cannibals in the jungles of Borneo. The cannibal chief said to them "If you pass the tribal test we will let you live. Go into the jungle and gather 10 items of the same fruit".

So the three guys scampered into the woods.

After a little while Tom came back first with 10 apples. The Chief explained the trial to him "You must shove the fruits up your arse without any expression on your face or you will be eaten".

The first apple was okay, but Tom winced in pain on the second apple, and was promptly killed, eaten, and went to heaven.

Dick came back with 10 berries, and the chief explained the trial to him as well. Dick didn't think it should be too tough, and began: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, but on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter and was immediately killed and eaten.

Tom and Dick meet in heaven, where Tom asked "Dick, why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!" With a smile Dick replied, "I couldn't help it. When I saw Harry coming with an armload of pineapples I just lost it..."

Offline john1964

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1298 on: September 13, 2013, 05:27:35 am »
A major international company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the world.

In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours and the one with the best answer would get the job. The question was:

"A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's back. What is the man's name?"

After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers. The first, from the USA, says "My answer is... there is NO answer".

The second, from England, says "My answer is that there is no way to determine the answer with the supplied information ".

The third one, from Scotland, says "I'm not exactly sure, but I have it narrowed down to two names. It's either: Willie Turner or Willie Nailer?"

The Scotsman got the job.

Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1299 on: September 14, 2013, 11:49:45 pm »

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1300 on: September 20, 2013, 12:03:12 pm »
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night, she looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact she wasn't too bad at all,
and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a bit (well more than a bit), we had a snuggle,
and she asked me if I ever had a "sportsman double"? "Whats that?" I asked. "It's a mother and daughter threesome," she said.
"Oh," I said as my mind began to embrace the idea. "No, I haven't." And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.
We drank a bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night'. I went back to her place and walked in hoping
for the best night of my life. She puts on the hall light and shouted upstairs, "Mom, you still awake?"

Offline JohnB

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1301 on: September 20, 2013, 01:03:35 pm »
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge,
hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed
his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the
woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same
hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his
money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and
said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?"
The drunk replied, "A ny woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina."

Offline IrishGuy65

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1302 on: October 07, 2013, 06:53:08 pm »
Today's Tip: Do Not put lights on a Palm Tree!     :o





I laughed my head off at this!  ;)
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Offline Robertt S

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1303 on: October 07, 2013, 07:19:52 pm »

Offline john1964

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #1304 on: October 08, 2013, 03:54:09 am »
One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds. He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before. Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds, and saw this rather large, homely woman lying there on a cloud.

She spoke "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing.

He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before. She also spoke "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds, he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure. She stated "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!" Harry really liked his advantage now!

He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level, he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud. "Take me now or climb the ladder to success" she huskily whispered. Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed caught the best of him.

He climbed to the next level, expecting Aphrodite or similar. Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him. He looks over to see a 400-pound, 6'8" hairy biker looking guy with tattoos. The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry. Apprehensively, Harry whispers "Who are you?" The biker answers "I'm Cess". ;D