Planning my first trip to China

[seagull]

Hi David5o,

Thanks for your comments, you seemed to be able to read my mind there.  I will definitely take into account your comment about the length of time I will spend there. My main worry is being stuck in Wuhan for a long time if things did not work out with the lady. I am also not sure whether to book all my accomodation before I leave, or just book a few nights and which would keep my options open if things did not work out.

You're right when you said that I have other priorities that have nothing to do with the lady. Unfortunately, I am just trying to keep my expectations low. So that I just go to China and have a great holiday and come home happy regardless of what happens. If things work out with the lady, then that is a bonus. If not, then hopefully she would still be willing to be a friend and continue to show me around. I do obviously like the lady but I just can't have any strong feelings to her until I meet her in person. I wish I could be like others on this forum, but I have always been cautious about these things.  Thanks for your feedback, I appreciate it.

seagull,

Do you really think 8 nights is enough to get to know your lady to a suitable level?? If your serious about finding a Chinese wife, then i don't think your going to achieve that much in just 8 nights. As others have said here, there are plenty of things to see and do in Wuhan, just save the evenings for your lady. If things go pear shaped as some have, just lately, then have a back-up plan, which could be what you were talking about in your post ....visiting a major city!!

I really think trying to split 14 nights, between your lady and visiting a another city is not a good idea, if of course your serious about this lady. For most of the guys on this site, the top most priority of there first visit to meet their lady, is to get to know them as much as possible, by spending as much time as possible with them. Just seems you have other priorities, that have nothing to do with this lady!!

David....

Hi Brett, thanks for your input. I have just bought a webcam and will hopefully be chatting to her soon. I think I will feel a lot more comfortable once the "middle man" (translator) is cut out, as after reading some of the posts on this forum, it is always in the back of my mind whether the EMF letters are real or not!

When I went to Hong Kong I found 14 days was too long, but that was mostly because I did too much walking in the tropical heat & humidity - try and take it easy (although being from Oz you'll no doubt be used to heat).

Yes Chinese ladies work hard (often 9-6, 6 days a week), and I am aware that mine is making a big sacrifice of her holiday time to see me. Depending on what they do, they are also expected to make quite a few business trips out of town. I'd guess you could sightsee during the day then see her during the evenings.

As far as gifts go, I think I will get something from my own country, but try and avoid something that was made in China in the first place. I also have a fabulous book I found with pictures of abolutely everything and their English and Chinese names. If you get the honour of meeting her parents/siblings/other family members you might like to think about what they would like as well.

Also it's often a good idea to talk to your lady outside of the EMF before you go - I've talked to mine on MSN so I now know that I am falling in love with a real girl and not a translator.

I didn't expect to receive so many detailed responses! Thanks brothers. And JimB, cheers for the tourist info on Wuhan. I have now bought a travel guide so hopefully will get to see as many sights as possible.

[dude]

seagull book a few nights and play it by ear. If things workout, you can stay there the whole two weeks. I'm curious did you meet this woman at the 509 agency? A word of caution...many women in Wuhan play games! This is an unfortunate situation, for even men that marry women in Wuhan...they are still looking for action...even being married! I find this to be disturbing! Not all the women there are like this...but be cautious! If you feel you are being played...move on and enjoy yourself in Shanghai!:icon_cool: I have visited the 509 agency and they are not as bad as many other agencies! I helped a translator teach an English class there, for a day, and the women did look very sincere about their convictions!Also, seagull...I stayed at the Sentosa and Ramada Plaza in Wuhan. Both are very nice and both have internet and English television channels. Sentosa is a great priced hotel! Many beautiful women work in this place! lol!:icon_biggrin:

[seagull]

Hi 'abigbutt', it is indeed the P509 agency. I did a search on this forum about this agency and they seem to get mixed feedback, but mostly positive. Wow, I had no idea about women in Wuhan! Reading this forum it seems that a lot of people ended up meeting their lady in Wuhan, so I thought it was a good place to find someone reliable. I was not aware of this reputation and if I wanted game playing, I'd stick to the women in my home country! Ha ha, thanks for the heads up. I am going to try and chat with my lady via a webcam for the first time. And after this, I'll have to make the decision to go or not. This forum has opened my eyes as before I was just going to jump in blindly. Cheers.

seagull book a few nights and play it by ear. If things workout, you can stay there the whole two weeks. I'm curious did you meet this woman at the 509 agency? A word of caution...many women in Wuhan play games! This is an unfortunate situation, for even men that marry women in Wuhan...they are still looking for action...even being married! I find this to be disturbing! Not all the women there are like this...but be cautious! If you feel you are being played...move on and enjoy yourself in Shanghai!:icon_cool: I have visited the 509 agency and they are not as bad as many other agencies! I helped a translator teach an English class there, for a day, and the women did look very sincere about their convictions!

[dude]

Hi 'abigbutt', it is indeed the P509 agency. I did a search on this forum about this agency and they seem to get mixed feedback, but mostly positive. Wow, I had no idea about women in Wuhan! Reading this forum it seems that a lot of people ended up meeting their lady in Wuhan, so I thought it was a good place to find someone reliable. I was not aware of this reputation and if I wanted game playing, I'd stick to the women in my home country! Ha ha, thanks for the heads up. I am going to try and chat with my lady via a webcam for the first time. And after this, I'll have to make the decision to go or not. This forum has opened my eyes as before I was just going to jump in blindly. Cheers.

seagull book a few nights and play it by ear. If things workout, you can stay there the whole two weeks. I'm curious did you meet this woman at the 509 agency? A word of caution...many women in Wuhan play games! This is an unfortunate situation, for even men that marry women in Wuhan...they are still looking for action...even being married! I find this to be disturbing! Not all the women there are like this...but be cautious! If you feel you are being played...move on and enjoy yourself in Shanghai!:icon_cool: I have visited the 509 agency and they are not as bad as many other agencies! I helped a translator teach an English class there, for a day, and the women did look very sincere about their convictions!

Shay is a great lady/translator! Her boss also is very nice! They will do their best to see you happy! They took me to dinner, a locals only hangout, in a real shady place...haha...the food was great and we had fun!:icon_biggrin:

[JimB]

Seagull, i asked my wife.  She is originally from Wuhan. About the women playing games.  She says she does not know any that do that.  But, every place has some women who do this.

[dude]

Seagull, i asked my wife.  She is originally from Wuhan. About the women playing games.  She says she does not know any that do that.  But, every place has some women who do this.

I have met a few that do play games and have read on different forums about the same situation! Not all are bad in Wuhan, I know some good women there also...just use caution...if your gut is telling you to go to Shanghai...like Ben Stiller said in "Starsky and Hutch": Just do it! lol!

[seagull]

I asked my lady if she wanted to chat on MSN or QQ, but she said she felt uncomfortable doing this due to her poor English and preferred to stick with EMFs.

I am happy to stick with the EMFs but just wanted to try and chat to her separately from the translator to get a better feel for things. Unless this is the translator interfering. The lady said in a previous EMF that she spoke a little bit of English when I told her I was worried about the language barrier if I met her. Now she says she is not comfortable with it.

I am starting to have second thoughts about this whole thing. I don't know why but this has discouraged me. I've started to think a bit more about the language barrier and it would be difficult indeed. I'll write to her for a few more days and ask her how she thinks the language barrier would affect the changes of having a relationship and then have to make a decision whether or not I will go. If I do not go then I will probably give up on Chnlove altogether. I am not sure if this is for me now. On the other hand I really want to visit China, so I am tempted to just take a leap of faith with this girl and translator, as it is a good opportunity to go there with the possibility of a relationship with a nice girl, get real practice with my limited Mandarin, and have locals to show me around Wuhan! Agh, such a tough decision.

[RobertBfrom aust]

Where is the tough decision Seagull , if you buy a Besta electronic translator , my latest I fluked on Ebay , latest , was only 3 months old , and is really a mini computer even has wifi , although this is not necessary , you could travel in China for ages without getting lost and the ladies think it is cute , in the main area [ central square ] of ChongQing apart from nearly going blind with the passing parade of beauty [ I was allowed to look but not touch ] at the hotels you will always find people who want to practice their English , in fact in the lift one day by myself a very pretty young lady and I got into a good conversation and I missed my floor , so my advice go with a backup plan , get the information of a 2 nd agency , if the first does not work the other agency will be around to collect you very quickly , as Alex found out in Changsha when he met up with problems , regards Robert .

[seagull]

Thank you Robert. I will look at getting a translator, I'll have a look on ebay for one. I was worried about the language barrier, but every time I have a concern, it seems that a brother here has a solution

Actually, your post really cheered me up. I was on the verge of writing a fiery letter to my translator moments ago. Because in an earlier EMF, it said that my lady spoke okay English and that I would have no problem if I came to visit her. Then once it became obvious that I was serious about meeting her, she said she felt nervous about meeting a foreigner for the first time so wanted to use a translator when I visit. Fair enough, I thought. Now when I suggested chatting on MSN or QQ, something which I thought wasn't that threatening, I get a response saying that she is not confident in her English and wants to only communicate via EMF.

I suspect that the translator is toying with me. It seems that all my lady's fears play right into the translator's hands and convinently fit the translator's interests, but that would be understandable to me if not for the lying about the lady's English ability at the start of our EMF relationship, which really annoys me. Also some EMFs I receive seem great, and others lacking any detail. I suspect that some of the EMFs are not coming from the lady herself. So when you are not sure if you are being played, it does make this a tough decision. But cheers for your advice, you may have saved me from doing something stupid

Where is the tough decision Seagull , if you buy a Besta electronic translator , my latest I fluked on Ebay , latest , was only 3 months old , and is really a mini computer even has wifi , although this is not necessary , you could travel in China for ages without getting lost and the ladies think it is cute , in the main area [ central square ] of ChongQing apart from nearly going blind with the passing parade of beauty [ I was allowed to look but not touch ] at the hotels you will always find people who want to practice their English , in fact in the lift one day by myself a very pretty young lady and I got into a good conversation and I missed my floor , so my advice go with a backup plan , get the information of a 2 nd agency , if the first does not work the other agency will be around to collect you very quickly , as Alex found out in Changsha when he met up with problems , regards Robert .

[brett]

You should get your girl a plugin for MSN - mine knows little English but she has some magical thing that makes her English pretty good on MSN. She can certainly understand what I'm typing as well.

We are only sending messages to each other, but I have just bought a webcam so I can see her as well.

In fact, we're communicating so well, we'll probably just keep the EMFs for important stuff like travel plans.

Communicating outside EMFs is great, although my girl's translator is well above average, and pretty much everything I ask my girl gets answered in her reply.

Incidentally, don't rely on what the girl puts as her level of English on chnlove, it's pretty subjective.

[JimB]

Seagull, Roberts advice is right on.  Even if you do not hit it off with her so what.  you will be in a country that you have never been in with people here and there that will help you along.  All you need to do is go.  Everything else will work out one way or the other.  I know it is scary.  I had doubts my first trip also.  It turned out ok.  I did not meet the lady that I was supposed to.  But met a couple of kids that I had a ball with.  They showed me around just to practice their English.  One of them is still a friend of mine. So you have nothing to lose by going and have an adventure.  You might meet the lady of your dreams like I have or just have a great time.

[Scottish_Rob]

...  Even if you do not hit it off with her so what.  you will be in a country that you have never been in with people here and there that will help you along.  All you need to do is go.  Everything else will work out one way or the other.  I know it is scary.  I had doubts my first trip also. ...  I did not meet the lady that I was supposed to. ... So you have nothing to lose by going and have an adventure.  You might meet the lady of your dreams  or just have a great time.

That is exactly the same way I feel, everyone should go with this intention!!!:icon_biggrin:

Although I have other arrangements made (in theory), I intend going with having an adventure and good time.  Even if it blasts up in my face with Keren, I have something else to focus my attention on, and then 'ladies of China...LOOK OUT':blush::angel::icon_cheesygrin::icon_cheesygrin:

I too am like you. I'm communicating through Emf's, but every now and again I get emails from her which are few and far between,(I know they are from her because of the language and spellings etc), plus they are only about three lines long hehehe.  :huh:

I was angry, mad, sad, felt rejected that my lady only wanted to use the chnlove system, and not go outside it,:@ however I have 'HER' phone number and spoke a couple of times (even though her English is not good), we have email address's,:icon_biggrin: BUT we still use Emf's, as Jim said for the real important stuff, and mate I've been that way since November.  The thing that makes it different for me is 'trust', i have trust in my 'own' gut feeling, I trust her and the translator..if it fails, I have no one to blame except my self...:icon_cool:

Oh and BTW..I am bloody Petrified...  BUT, I also the knowledge that there is a place that I can go to for help if I need it, this place is called www.chnlove.info...

[Willy The Londoner]

Go for it Rob,

I am sure that if anyone can make it work first time it will be you.  You know I failed at the first, but now, hopefully, a new chapter has been opened.  If that fails then I will be sad, very sad but there are more doors to be opened.  As my eldest sister said to me tonight 'Keep following that dream'  I intend to. China is my home now and you will 'Follow that dream' Rob.  

My God your dream has been one of the longest on this forum so just go for it and enjoy it.  You know where to go for help, but if my apartment is rocking then don't bother knocking!!

Willy

PS how come you have time to be on this forum should you not be in countdown soon?

[Scottish_Rob]

It's ok Willy I'll bring some Dumplings, they may be wet because of the tears but hey ho  'Cest La Vie':angel:

Hehe I know mate, I'm think I should be drawing my pension...lol

[Danny]

Well at least you know that you will have a warm beer loving, randy pommie to console you in your hour of need.  I mean over a beer not on my shoulder.  Now if you were a thirty year old Sheila - well!!!!!

Have you decided on hotel yet.  I stayed at the Tourist hotel when I first arrived.

Hey that's a nice surprise. I was sitting reading through the posts and suddenly I see one of them addressed to me.

I really am looking forward to catching up with you. I didn't want to be a nuisance for you. But I am really looking forward to it.

I have been practicing the words for ice cold beer: ?

When I am over there it is going to be the grand final of the real footy (australian rules football).

Now this is a real game:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwNHXcJ3rXs

I can't work out how anyone can watch soccer. It's no wonder you poms bash each other senseless before, after and during the game. It just bores you silly. And the way your Europeans buddies (especially the Italians) play it, faking free kicks. You just knock into them and they fall over and carry on like they have had their legs chopped off. It doesn't happen in Aussie rules, that's for sure *laughs*