What do you guys think?

[TomFisher]

Hey Josh let me add my $0.02 here. I had a spell  when I got some letters from my lady that were kind of short and did not answer some of my questions so I asked her about it and I posted a question to the translator at the bottom of the page.  I got a reply from both of them.  My lady said she was having to work extra hours as she had many financial statements to get out.  The translator assured me my lady was fine just working very hard.  As soon as the statements were done all was back to normal. You might try asking her and ask the translator, if he/she is honest and there are some that are, then you should be able to get a clue as to where things are.

Another similar issue deals with email. I asked for and got a phone number, she was nervous but after the second request she gave it to me.  We have talked several times a week ever since.  Try to learn Chinese, even a few poorly spoken Chinese words will make a world of differnece.  I have gotten many letters from my lady telling me how happy and proud she that I speak new Chinese words to her each time we are on the phone. I asked my lady for her email address after we had writtenfor about 3 months using EMF.  She told me she did not have internet so I let it go.  About a month ago when we were talked she mentioned that she got some pictures in an email.  I waited a week and then asked her about the pictures and asked for her email address.  She was hesitant because she doubts her English ability.  I wrote back using EMF and again posted a question to the translator.  The transltor told me her english was much better than my lady thinks it is.  We have been emailing every day after we got past the initial couple.  Her biggest concern was a misunderstanding or wrong translation.  She writes some in English and some in Chinese.  I use MDBG to translate since it has the definitions and pinyin.  We are doing great now.

The point of this epistle is be sincere and strong but not overbearing.  Be sensitive and reassuring to her.  Assure her that you will not let language be a barrier and that you are willing to work as hard as she does to over come the language and cultural differences.  But when all is said and done if she is not willing to take at least one small step for the one or two you have taken then do not prolong the suffering.  As Maxx said step things up and let her know that you are sincere not just another westerner who will never go beyond writing.  

Sorry to be so long winded,  I hope at least one thing here helps.

Peace,

Tom

[Josh Markley]

Sounds great Josh. They are more shy than one expects. I am very happy on your behalf!  

Hajo. Thanks man I appreciate it, by the way I read your blogs they were a tremendous help everything you have went through I am going through now.

[Josh Markley]

I don't know if this will help in your situation, but at one time, i also found the letters getting shorter and shorter.  So one day I sent a very short letter, instead of the usual 6000 letter one.  Strangest thing happened.  The very next letter I got was big!

That's how it worked for me.  Of course, my girlfriend is very busy, so I don't expect her to write a long letter everyday.  She has a life outside of me...apparently i had a life before Chnlove...I just can't remember it.

Martin, Thanks for the insight. I am pretty sure she is a very busy woman. She is a Japanese translator and spends her days translating documents. Sounds to me to be a stressful tedious job. She also spends alot of time with here friends and family. I don't expect her to drop her life for me. Because really she sounds like a strong independent woman outside the fact she loves her family and friends which to me are all endearing qualities. Although  I have found everything I do Is for this woman and our future.

[Chong]

Josh, Hi ... Nice to meet you !!!

As mentioned in the posts above, that letter is too generic. Many of us have gotten that same type of letter ... basically, it says nothing personal except flattery. The purpose of the translator is to bridge the communication; therefore, there should be no reason for the lady not to answer your questions. If she can't communicate with you in letters, she ain't going to in real life. As Hajo wrote, get your translator involved. Ask your questions one more time ... if she doesn't answer them ... it's time to find another lady that will ... otherwise, you'll be getting the same type of flattery letter everytime. You want to read about her work, family, friends, hobbies, type of clothes she likes, food, her values = ( specifics ) ..... not the weather, that she misses you, that she wants to hear from you more, that she feels your warmth & love, "baby", "haha" = ( all flattery ).

All the best, Chong

[AtAltitude]

Going to have to agree with Chong on this one.  If I had a credit back for every one of these letters I've received (either EMF or Admiration/Cupid) I'd be putting a down payment on a yacht.  You DEFINITELY need more real-time, real-life specifics.  Weather/I miss you = nothing real to talk about.  I would bet money it's a translator.  That doesn't mean your lady isn't real, but you need to either find a way back to HER, or move on.  Just my feedback, and one can always be wrong, but if it's advice you are looking for I would break out the rod and reel and recast.

[Brent]

I had a similar problem with the girl I used to write to early on in our communications so I came up with a simple idea that works pretty well to get her letters to be longer.

Tell her you'd like the both of you to make a commitment to every letter you write each other and in each letter you'll finish it by asking two questions which can be anything. It was always interesting because we expected to answer our own questions by the next letter too. So every letter you're answering four questions then asking two. Even if her answers are brief it'll lengthen her letters and best of all you learn a hell of a lot more about your girl and it gives you a lot to talk about. The only problem is that you actually have a tough time to coming up with original questions eventually. I found many times we actually repeated questions to each other only because we had already asked so much. But I highly recommend giving it a shot.

[Josh Markley]

Ni Hao??

A little update. I succeeded at getting her to send me a longer letter. I took everyones advice and for the most part it worked. I received her personal e-mail address, and the add thing I also received a second phone number. This has me confused a little. But she had asked me to set up a phone call for friday, with a translator. So I left a comment in the box after you rate the service, asking to set up a time to talk. She answered most of my questions. Well enough to keep me satisfied. Well I will let you guys take a look at the letter,

My dearest Josh:

How are you today? I hope you are doing well on everything, yes, I had a nice weekend as usual, I always stay with my family, the weather here was not very good in the past days, but it is better now, at least the sunshine appears now, yes, you always be correct on everything, haha~

My work is not very busy now, because you know the economy crises, so, I have more my time to do my own things, but because of the bad weather, I don't go to outside more, my baby, I am sorry that if I made my letter to be shorter, in fact, I am not good at express my feeling, and I think that I already shoe everything about me to you, haha, please don't care about the length about my letter, I don't change my feeling on you.

Thank you so much that you always care about my family, they are fine, and they already knew you recently, but they don't see your pics, I just told them about you, they said that as long as you are a very nice and sincere man, they will be happy about us! Do you like the good news? Haha~

My friends don't know you now, please don't worry about it, they will know you in the near future, and when my friends and me get together, we always go shopping and go karaoke with them, and they are very nice girls, almost them already got marry, their names are Zhang Jing, Zhang Yan and Zhao Jing.

I think that english is really very hard to learn, I have e-mail address, it is @yahoo.cn, and I have the translation software could help me a lot, maybe not very correct, and we could talk on the phone with the translator in the agency, please arrange a time, ok? You'd better to make a time after the day after tomorrow. And my phone number is \.

So happy that you will come to China this July, I think that it is a good time to visit you, and no matter how many days you want to stay is ok for me, I always open my heart on you, please don't worry about it, ok? I never got the package that you sent to me, I am sorry about it, you could bring something in person when you come, anything is ok for me!!

I am happy that you always show me your true feeling, you don't scare me, haha, I look forward to talk with you on the phone or exchange letters sometimes in the personal ways.

Take care and have a nice day!


Yours,
Le


Hi, Josh, her english skill is not very good, and both of you could get the translator's help when you talk on the phone, hope you could have a happy time when you talk with her in person!

[Irishman]

Josh..one word dude.."Tbot"
Add it as a buddy on msn and invite it to your conversations..it will translate your words to Chinese and hers to English. Its really good, I've used it several times with Ling's friend that has pretty basic English and we talked just fine.
Le sounds really sweet and the fact that she is willing to try using the translator on a phone call is significant..she really wants to make it work. I think if you are both learning each others languages then the Tbot is the way to go..if she has a computer and a web cam you can just wave and see each others expressions while you type to eachother, at least the conversation is genuine then.
I highly recommend "Pimsleur Chinese" (google it) for learning to speak it, i listen to it in the car to and from work, its slow but steady progress ..a bit like building those biceps..it takes dedication and effort..but if you do it right the results are great

[Josh Markley]

Thanks Ronan! Never used msn but I will have to set up an account. I will send her a note asking if she has her own computer. I will do this I sent her a message at her e-mail took me over an hour for a couple of sentences. She is well worth it though. Oh yes this type of relationship takes the same characteritics as bodybuilding does. Extremely hard to do both of them at the same time lol!

[Josh Markley]

Google language> chinese>simple  you can put a whole letter in and it will translate. tested it and they said (Chn girls) it was the best for them to read.

http://www.google.com/translate_t

Thanks Vince Thats awesome! I can send her a small message to let her know I am thinking about her.

[TomFisher]

I may as well chime in here.  MDBG is a decent translotion, it gives both the Cinese Characters and the pin yin with definitions and has a great dictionary.  Look at http://de.mdbg.net/chindict/chindict.php?page=translate if you are interested.

[Paul Todd]

Some basic  love phrase's to text  to your lady.   http://www.zapchinese.com/Chinese-phras ... hrases.htm

[Josh Markley]

You guys have been so very helpful. I am making my first phone call to Le tonight, I am excited and nervous at the same time.

[Josh Markley]

Hey guys I just got off the phone with my girl.  The first call was awesome and akward at the same time.  I was to call her at 11 am her time and called right on the dot. She was not at the agency yet so she said hello laughted tried to talk to me then hung up on me it was cute.  The translator was a male who sounded like an american. He was very helpful and funny. He laughed the whole time he was translating dont know if it was at me or he just thought it was a good time. We made small talk nothing of substance I just wanted to hear her voice. We talked about the pictures she sent me and the personal emails we have sent to each other. She was really nervous, it was super cute. Her mother was there and asked me a few questions about my family. And she wants to see pictures of my family. It will be very good to get the mother behind me. Le will not do anything with out here parents approval. Her mother also said she cant wait to meet me. You guys connot believe how happy I am.

[Hajo]

GREAT, Josh. That sounds just wonderful. I am glad it showed there was no reason to be concerned. Again it shows that many of our concerns aren't necessarry.

Keep us updated.