Passport application
ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER SENT BACK TO STATE DEPARTMENT
Best one yet. Hits the nail on the head!!
Dear Mrs. Ms. or Sir:
I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I
bought a cable TV from them in 1987 (22 years ago), and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? Ever heard of computers?
My birth date you have in my social security file. It's on EVERY income tax form
I've filed for the past 30 years. It's on my Medicare health insurance card and
my driver's license, It's on the last eight damn passports I've had, It's on
every stupid customs declaration form I've had to fill out before being allowed
off the plane for the last 30 years. And it's on all those census forms that we
have to do at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'm reasonably confident that neither
name is likely to change between now and when I die.
Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bureaucratic bullshit!
You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fu___g address.
What is going on? You must have a gang of bureaucratic Neanderthal morons
working there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? And "No," I don't want to
dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a
sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a damn whether
I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days?
If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you
me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now because I have to go to the other end of the city and get
another fu____g copy of my birth certificate to the tune of $100.
Would it be so difficult to have all the services in the same area so I
could get a new passport the same day? Nooooo, that would require planning and
organization. And it would be too logical for the fu____g government.
You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut
off. Then, we have to find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the
damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile.......Hey, you
know why we can't smile?
We're totally pissed off!
Signed
- An Irate Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I wrote about getting someone to confirm that the
picture is me? Well, my family has been in the United States of America since
1776. I have served in the military for something over 35 years and have had
security clearances up the ying yang. However, I have to get someone important
to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor........ WHO WAS BORN
AND RAISED IN INDIA !
And you assholes want to run our health care system?
? =
