Author Topic: JUST FOR A LAUGH  (Read 278677 times)

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ttwjr32

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #840 on: July 05, 2010, 07:20:15 am »
at least you dont see that walking around china making whatever statement they are trying to make

rockycoon

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #841 on: July 05, 2010, 09:15:02 pm »
Great holy moses that was a fantastic display.  Is the park still standing? ...  8)

ttwjr32

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #842 on: July 22, 2010, 05:01:58 am »
i was just talking to my brother on skype and the police back home arrested a lady who is also suspected of robbing two other banks. today she treid and did rob a bank but she locked her keys in the car and when the police showed up she was trying to break the window out to get in the car.  now how stupid is that  lol!!!

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #843 on: July 22, 2010, 06:28:31 am »















 One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over
 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon.

 He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship"

 As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the
 possibilities of a small boat or a raft.

 Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit.
 Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet
 suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!

 She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long
 has it been since you've had a good cigar?"

 "Ten years," replied the amazed Irishman.

 With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left
 sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a
 lighter.

 He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag. "Faith and
 begorrah," said the castaway,
 Ahh "that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"

 "And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish
 Whiskey?" asked the blonde.

 Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."

 Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a
 pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him.

 He opened the flask and took a long drink. "Tis nectar of the gods!"
 shouted the Irishman. " 'Tis truly fantastic!!!"

 At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front
 of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man
 and asked, "And how long has it been since you played around?"

 With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus,
 Mary and Joseph! Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!


Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #844 on: July 22, 2010, 06:33:20 am »


  An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday
evening with a beautiful young gal at his side.

  He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his
girlfriend.  The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a
$5,000 ring.

  The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

  At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over.  'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000' the jeweler
said.  The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement.  The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

  The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated,
'by check.  I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write
it now  and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll
pick the ring up Monday afternoon,' he said.

  Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man. ' There's no money in
that account.'

  'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about my weekend!

 

Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info

Offline Martin

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #845 on: July 22, 2010, 08:09:23 pm »
Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music. The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough, because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

ttwjr32

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #846 on: July 22, 2010, 08:15:34 pm »
Maxx,

this is a joke right???

Offline RobertBfrom aust

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #847 on: July 24, 2010, 04:47:36 am »
This ones for Shaun , cos he drives a bus , ha ha .
Subject: The seniors bus trip! Some of you will relate to this one!!!

 

A senior citizens group charters a bus for an overnight gambling casino trip.   

An elderly woman comes up to the bus driver and says, 'I've just been molested!' 

The driver felt that she had fallen asleep and had a dream. So he tells her to go back to her seat and sit down.

A short time later, another old woman comes forward and claims that she was just molested. The driver thought he had a bus load of old wackos, but who would be molesting these old ladies? 

About 10 minutes later, a third old lady comes up and says that she'd been molested too. 

The bus driver decides that he'd had enough and pulls into the first rest area.

When he turns the lights on and stands up, he sees an old man on his hands and knees crawling in the aisles.

'Hey gramps, what are you doing down there?' says the bus driver.

'I lost my toupee.  I thought I found it three times, but every time I tried to grab it, it gets up and runs away!'
 

                                             

 

 
 
 
Now it is early to bed and late to rise .
My QQ is   1994376895
For electronics and books etc , check out , www.bopads.info

Offline maxx

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #848 on: July 24, 2010, 11:22:27 am »
Maxx,

this is a joke right???

Ted I don't know what your talking about

Arnold

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #849 on: August 14, 2010, 01:53:26 pm »
Our Major of Los Angeles has finally thought of .. how to get the City back into the "Black" financially . Hope this will catch on in other Cities as well soon .


ttwjr32

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #850 on: August 14, 2010, 02:27:43 pm »
good ole LA traffic

Scottish_Rob

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #851 on: August 14, 2010, 05:34:33 pm »
A woman says to her husband, "You only ever think of sex when your drunk?"  The guy replies "That's not true, sometimes I think of a Pizza"...

Offline Bee964

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #852 on: August 14, 2010, 09:21:49 pm »
 ;)
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr.. Smith about enlarging her breasts. 
Dr Smith advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say,
'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'

She did this faithfully for several months! 

To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had   
forgotten her morning ritual. 

Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the little rhyme, she   
stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby
doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies.' 

A  guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked  'Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's?'

'Yes I am.. How did you know?'

He winked and replied, "Hickory dickory dock...."

Dave C
Life is like a jar of Jalapenos-- What you eat today will burn your ass tomorrow!.

Offline Bee964

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #853 on: August 14, 2010, 09:43:31 pm »
This is alarming  :o :o :o




         Beer contains female hormones!

         Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!


         Last month,   Montreal University and scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.  The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.




         To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 schooners of beer within a one (1) hour period.



         It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects,

         yes, 100% of all these men:




         1) Argued over nothing.


         2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.




         3) Gained weight.


         4) Talked excessively without making sense.




         5) Became overly emotional


         6) Couldn't drive.




         7) Failed to think rationally, and




         8 ) Had to sit down while urinating.

         No further testing was considered necessary!!

Dave C  ;)
Life is like a jar of Jalapenos-- What you eat today will burn your ass tomorrow!.

Offline Bee964

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Re: JUST FOR A LAUGH
« Reply #854 on: August 14, 2010, 09:59:16 pm »
Life really boils down
to 2 questions...

1. Should I get a dog.....?
2. Or should I have kids?
« Last Edit: August 14, 2010, 10:01:43 pm by Bee964 »
Life is like a jar of Jalapenos-- What you eat today will burn your ass tomorrow!.